Finally finished Genesis!

On to Mark!
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Questions for a free thinker

What kind of free thinker are you? A logical one or illogical one?

If you are a logical free thinker, what is the philosophical basis for your free thinking?
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expectations

they say that we shouldn't have expectations of our partners when in a relationship.

and so I have been managing my expectations.

But how wonderful it will be if expectations are exceeded from time to time.
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One common message

Perhaps it is good to listen to different pastors preaching from all denominations. Perhaps it is good to read books by different authors. Perhaps it is good to sing a variety of christian songs. We then will be able to fish out what is a Non-negotiable level 2* and a negotiable. And the common message.

*Non-negotiable level 2 consist of beliefs which are in between the Non-negotiable (the beliefs of the christian faith that would separate a cult and a church) and the Negotiables ( how often to take communion, styles of baptism, etc)
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Bleah

I can't believe Hillsong Brisbane webbie does not have information of their staff. When I click on Pastors, they only acknowledged Brian and Bobbie Houston. How can?

I was looking for the name of the guy who preached last Sunday. He's a wise guy. He's wise because he's able to use the word of God to reach into the hearts of the congregation. He has that balance between being grounded in the word and being empowered by the spirit.

This is from him:

A christian is not someone who reads the bible, but he/she reads the bible.
A christian is not someone who tithes, but he/she tithes.
A christian is not someone who lifts their hands in worship but they do.

This guy got it right.
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I shall attempt to sleep in tonight..

I had wanted to sleep in this morning! Then I had to pee. Grrrrr. I decided to get up at half past 8 to pee (half past 8 during the hols is insane!).

Read till Genesis 17. Read the papers. Checked my mail ( I have not checked my work mail for about a 2 weeks now), facebooked, chatted on msn, did some research on different stuff. Met S for lunch. Caught up with A over exercise. THen get to see the sayoni gals and the SH for tennis. Quite a productive day, won't you say? :)
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Back to exercising.

It's great being back in Singapore getting back to the routine of exercising. I weighed myself at the gym on Monday and realised I put on 1.5 kg! All the chocolate and fish and chips and the good life..

We went to the gym on Monday, then I took a walk with A to catch up this afternoon. The rather brisk walk took about an hour and a half. Then we had a tennis game. And now I am feeling sleepy. :)

I love the way I feel after exercise. Alert, lively and fit. Hiak hiak.
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my skin

I am using SK2. Hiak hiak. My skin has always been bad. I have had breakouts since I was 11 and my itchy hands then led to more than a few scars on my face. Since I found Nuskin's collagen (Celltrex), my skin has improved quite significantly. THe pores are considerably smaller and celltrex keeps my skin supple enough.

In the past few years, the price for the Celltrex seemed to have increased. What used to be about 40 dollars for a 50 ml bottle(1998) is now $82. After hearing K rave about SK2's miracle water, I decided to get a bottle from DFS to try when I got back from Aussieland. It's way cheaper than Celltrex and at DFS. If it really works well for my skin, I might very well be a faithful SK2 user, like I have been a faithful Nuskin user for the past 10 years.

All those who have great skin, count yourself blessed. :)
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ah...

orh.. everything and everyone before Noah is evil... So Noah is the first Jesus-like creation. :D
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reading genesis

the bible said that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the Lord was sorry that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart. (Genesis 5)

I am just puzzled what man can do to deem him so evil. And when was the moment in time when man stopped becoming so evil. Maybe the comparison was made by the perfect God versus the imperfect man. We sin everyday, even now. There are sins of commision which would be fewer for christians who are walking closely with God, but there are also sins of omission; things we are supposed to do but we did not.

I need to get to the habit of coming to repentance daily.
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Renewed, Refreshed

my heart is touched when I see the gals in PLUSH rising up, taking the initiative to take on responsibilities as much as they can. Things are changing for the better. Gotta keep praying.

At Hillsong Brisbane, I teared. Out of no reason at all. I can only reckon that I was touched by the presence of God. He's all lovely, all worthy, all wonderful.
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Song of the week

Saving Grace - Hillsong


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCkfu4nzBtk

Night and day I seek Your face
Long for You in the secret place
All I want in this life
Is to truly know you more...

As the waters cover the sea,
So Your love covers me
Guiding me on,
Roads unkown
I trust in You alone

CHORUS
My Saving Grace
My endless love
Deeper and deeper I'm falling in love with You
My one desire
My only truth
Deeper and deeper I'm falling in love with you

BRIDGE
And I will rise on wings of eagles
Soaring high above all my fears
I rest in Your open arms of love
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haha..

I do the head-fake. Unconsciously.
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A thought

All your intelligence in the world means nothing if you have not the heart for the people in your life.
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still from The Last Lecture

Too many people go through life complaining about their problems. I've always believed that if you took one-tenth the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving the problem, you'd be surprised by how well things can work out.

Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won't make us happier.
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During the stipulated hour of QT..

I am convinced that there are far too many voices in the world today. I really need to hear the voice of God myself.

I browsed through one book last night and one this morning. Both presented opposing points of view on how God is viewed. On one hand, one author says that God only gives us good things and anything bad is from the devil. An example he mentioned is that natural disasters, war, etc. are from the devil. (and of course, the author supplements his point of view with sufficient evidence from the bible).

Another author whose book I read this morning thinks that disasters and calamities are from God and he also has a few verses in the bible supporting his point of view, that both good and bad things are from God.

Based on the former's point of view, he would say that God ALLOWS us to be in situations and circumstances to help us grow. Based on the latter's point of view, he would say that God PUTS us in bad situations to help us grow. He calls that the discipline of adversity.

Take for example the verses below:

The Goal of Adversity

Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:10-11


Both would agree with these verses from the bible, but it's the perspective which differs. Who is right? Maybe both of them are. Who is wrong? Maybe both of them are. To me, I am more prone to think that God only gives us good things and he allows us to be in certain circumstances that we would grow. Even if I am wrong, does that really matter? Afterall, the end result is the same. That we grow!

All these really convince me that our walk with God is really personal. Finding the peace of God and allowing the wisdom of God to guide my heart in the decisions that I make is perhaps most important for me right now.
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I think this is so beautiful..

" It is not the preaching of wrath, fiery indignation and judgement that will cause people's hearts to turn back to God. It is His goodness, grace and mercy. When you catch a glimpse of that, you cannot help but be overwhelmed by all that He is, and this will lead to true repentance.

Let people come to church to enjoy God's goodness because when they are impacted by His grace, repentance, holiness and godliness will surely follow. In the same way that you cannot be under the sun without getting a tan, you cannot be under grace without becoming holy."

Pastor Prince ( Destined to Reign)


Indeed indeed. That was and is my journey. I never was receptive when people preached hell to me . But of course, different people operate differently.

What does it mean to be God fearing then? I believe it is not about being afraid of facing the consequences for doing the wrong things. THe bible says that perfect love casts out fear. God fearing is perhaps knowing who God is, His attributes, that He is all knowing, all powerful, acknowledging His sovereignty and position. In regarding God correctly, we will realise how small we really are and how big He really is and hold a sense of respect and reverence for Him.
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Every relationship needs a third party

and that person is Jesus.
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I am counting down ...

to an Aussie Holiday with the SH! :)
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God is good..

I was sitting on the sofa having my breakfast and reading the papers when I was led to reflect on what God has been doing in my life.

I realised how my journey with Him had changed in the past 2 years. When I was learning and serving in Covenant, I learnt a lot about God from the preaching of His word, I learnt a lot about growing in depth in God, about service and the growth it can bring. I was encouraged and inspired. However, it was only when I had the chance to put that into practice when I was involved in FCC and Plush that true learning really took place.

I remembered my prayer very frequently then that He would transform me from inside and make me a better person, a better testimony, that He would deal with who I am inside and fix me up. And I had seen the process this morning, on how he has been doing just that through the circumstances that He had allowed me to be in. For once in my life, I had to struggle to do what is right. I learnt how to rely on Him to deal with my handicaps; my insecurities, my emotions, my heart. I learnt to look within and look for Him during the times when no one else could help.

I am so grateful for that. I am sure this journey has not ended and I am not sure where I am headed, but I am surely praying that I will keep my eyes fixed on Him and walk in step with Him because I am certain He will bring me to the place where He wants me to be.
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I would like to be that someone one day

Someone who listens well.
Someone who listens attentively.
Someone who does not take sides.
Someone who listens with empathy.
Someone who listens and not judge.
Someone who listens with compassion.
Someone who points to the right direction.
Someone who handles information in the right manner.
Someone who does not take offence on another's behalf.
Someone who knows when to be silent and when to offer counsel.
Someone who is strong enough not to be stumbled by what is said.

I pray that I would be all of that one day.
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funny

there is a reason for the safety distance between cars. But often, other cars take the opportunity to cut in. Bleah.

Actually, sometimes I do that too. :D
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Made the decision

and at peace with it.
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What a lovely day!

woke up without an alarm * Brekkie @ home * Gym with ex-colleague * Lunch and catch up * spontaneous worship and prayer session (with ex-colleague - awesome) * Lazing * Meeting the SH!
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Do I feel better?

Not yet.

There is a certain amount of respectability to maintain since I am writing on public space.

when all I want to do is to

@#$%^&*()_+)(*&^%$#@!@#@!@#@!@#$@!@#$#@!@#$%^&*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't curse. I just want to scream.
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Dear God,

Why do some not understand me
And those who understand, ain't always around

Why are they not able to see my heart
And those who see, remain silent

Why is it wrong to run away from something that is bad for my soul
Why do I get affected by issues that I cannot do anything about
Why do I mull over matters that aren't good for me
Why do I feel so deeply and think so much

Because I am only human.
I have emotions
and I am no saint.

Yet I know the consequences of venting.
What good does it do to those who hear?
Nothing.

In situations like such
is this called sacrificial
or is it pure silliness

Yes, God. I am still waiting for your answer.
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Exercise Schedule for the week

Yoga after a month's break was awesome. I felt aches on my deltoids, my trapezious, and inner thighs on Saturday evening. By Sunday morning, I felt my hamstrings and abdominal muscles ache. 1 month of regular badminton didn't even give me those aches. I enjoy badminton more though. The SH thinks it is amusing that I go to the toilet halfway during yoga so I can take a break.

I was supposed to rock climb with 3 others today but I ended up just watching them (change). Need to rest my aching muscles.

Mon - Gym with ex-colleague

Tues - Makan!

Wed - Tennis

THursday - Badminton

Friday - Badminton

Sat - Brissy!

It's Monday! But NO MORE MONDAY BLUES FOR 4 WEEKS! :)
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Mid week delight: Durians

the season is not ripe.

But some were good. So was the catch up with the group. Pity it was too short. The smell really lingers for close to 24 hours. It comes out from the body; the air, the fluid and the skin. Even I am grossed out.

But yummy lorrrrrr.
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Been a recipient of money

$20 ang pow for helping my cousin out for her wedding ( That was 3 months ago?) My mum went for their housewarming bbq and came back with 2 ang pows. One for my sister and one for me.

That covered for dinner and drinks today. :D. We had dinner and movie with a dear friend. The BBQ chicken curry rice @ PS Kopitiam was fabulous. The queue was as long as it was the last time I bought food from the same stall. It's $4.80 for a slice of omelette, rice with the choice of curry gravy on top and yummy BBQ chicken. THe SH didn't like it because it was too sweet. She likes the Mr Pepper Beef but today's beef was overcooked because she was waiting for me so we could give thanks for the food together (and the queue for my food was loooooonnnnng). It was nice of her to wait.

We watched Fantastic Mr Fox together. I was very entertained throughout the movie. It was engaging and hilarious! I like how Mr Fox would ask for his wife's opinion and then give his own opinion and end up doing things his way. But he sandwiched it very well and never fails to compliment his wife for something. haha. Quite sweet.

Met 2 friends at PS. An ex JC classmate and a guy from Covenant who attended FCC once but never went back. I suspect he's closeted. Nebermind. Let him find his way.

The SH asked me how come I have so many friends. I also don't know. Technically, they are not my friends because we don't exchange more than a few lines of conversation a year.

Headed to Croc Rock after that, Singapore oldest lesbian pub. Both of them have neither been nor heard. It was rather empty and we had a good chat over drinks. Picked up my sister on the way home.

Wonderful day. :D God blessed day.
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Foot reflexology today..

was great. He is a very strong guy (the one with the wig as the SH would say)and he focused a lot on the soles of my feet. So shoik. Especially shoik after a 2 hour badminton session ( actually, we sat around to talk a quarter of the time) followed by the big prawn noodles @ Adam. I still think J's mum's recipe is the best. Yum. I LOVE PRAWN NOODLES!!
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Thank God for friends who dare to tell you the truth face to face

because it helps one improve to be a better person.

a friend commented that reading my badminton blog entries are boring. I appreciate the honesty. HEH.

another friend told me that it's important to make a stand and not sit on the fence. I appreciate the honesty too. :) And that had made me more aware of the things that I could have accepted or tolerated when I should not have. I have to pray for more wisdom to discern what is to tolerate and what not. It's a very very fine line to draw for in certain situations. Only God knows the heart of another.

I read something today which was insightful. It taught me again what is really really important: "Reputation" is what people think of you ; "character" is what God knows of you.
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Verse of the day

Thus says the Lord: " Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, let not the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches; but let him who glories glory in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practises steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth; for in these things I delight, says the Lord."

Jeremiah 9:23-24
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PSLE and more

highest scorer in my school was 280. That's an improvement from last year. We will do even better next year. Hiak Hiak. I am pretty pleased to know that both the Math and Sci teachers for my class will be changed next year. Both better teachers for my kids. Yippie!

My tuition student did well too. She scored 4As. She was so estastic because she didn't expect an A for both her Math and Science. She asked me to continue teaching her next year. Tempting but I don't think so. Her place is pretty inconvenient and I am not even sure if I am still driving the car next year.

I met my neighbour on my way home and she asked me to teach her daughter too ( I was supposed to start teaching her son in early December.). I told her I will think about it, because really, I am doing half load on half pay so I can rest, not so I can give tuition to earn more money.

I finally shifted all my barang out of my old hole to the new one. I have a new space at work. :)

A new beginning. I am actually looking forward to 2010!
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The Last Lecture

I am currently reading The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. This book was recommended by my P.

The book tells of how Professor Randy Paush, having diagnosed with terminal cancer, wrote about the journey he took in preparing for his last lecture. In his book, as he was recalling the events in his life, he related some of the wisdom and insights he had gleaned from the people in his life.

This is quite a good read but as always, it still pales in comparison to the bible. Many books I have read/browsed through have not the wisdom that the bible holds. The books of today explains in detailed/ puts concrete examples to the concepts and insights already available in the bible. I don't remember getting the AHA! or WOW! experience reading any books in the past few years.

Wisdom works hand in hand with knowledge, but wisdom is far greater than knowledge. So I always pray for wisdom, like what King Solomon did. We will never go wrong asking for wisdom.

These questions are good questions that will make one think:

What wisdom would we impart to the world if we knew it was our last chance?

If we were to vanish tomorrow, what would we want as our legacy?
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Holden Convertible, here we come!

Booked a convertible for our stay @ Brissy and Gold Coast. Both our first time driving one. And it's just $120 AUD more for the entire 6 days as compared to the regular car. Why not? :)
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Giving thanks for blessings

I won $380.33 last week. $333.33 from the $1000 Outstanding Contribution Award (Team) shared with 2 other colleagues, and a $50 Isetan voucher for being voted Ms Health Junky. I am sure there were some protests around. :) ( I eat chocolate and snack quite a bit when I am marking @ work) but I do drink lots of green tea without sugar and squeeze the oil out of fried food too. :) I think I won the award because of the projects I have to promote for my job as a Health Coordinator. Anywayz, it's all good. Nobody glared at me or anything.. hehe..

J gave me a guitar tuner for my birthday this year. It is one of the best presents I have ever received in my life but I lost it about 2 months ago. I had thought I had left it in church but I could not find it the following week. Today, while I was practising for worship at home, I thought about A's prayer for her lost pass and how she amazingly got it back from her student's neighbour who picked it up @ the market near her place. So I said a word of prayer for the return of my tuner. Lo and behold, when I reached church tonight, I saw it at the stage. I am very certain it's mine because

1) No one has used that tuner for church before.
2) I have been looking around the stage for my tuner almost every Tuesday before CG and after church.
3) Most importantly, I prayed for it today!
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avis.com.au

I forgot to book our car for the Aussie trip. Am in the process of doing it now. Avis is always the trusted one. I am not sure if we should book one @ Sydney too. We are staying in a relatively central location but I do think we need one to get from the airport to our accommodation and back to the airport. It is most useful too if we drive to Hunter Valley so we could stop as and when we like.

Decisions decisions.
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Friendships

Friends are very important to me. Over the past few years, I am extremely thankful for the people that God has put in my life though there are one or two I wish I could meet more regularly.

I am especially super duper thankful for the friendships that I had formed with the gals from church and CG over the period of 2 years. The chemistry and understanding that I feel with some of them overwhelmes me from time to time. There is just something so precious about having like-minded souls opening up to one another, sharing lives with one another, both individually and collectively as a group that very few things can replace. I appreciate that so very much. It helps that we meet at least once a week.

I only pray that in time to come, we will be a cg not just bonded in love, but also bonded in the desire to keep one another accountable and help one another grow to be better disciples of Christ.

Going to meet some of them now. CG! :D
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wahahaha

More time for training. Texted and called M about the registration for the badminton competition and she finally responded to say that the tournament has been postponed till early next year. :) More time to practise. And my gut told me that the badminton tournament won't be on this Saturday actually. :)

But still, there is badminton tomorrow night, Thursday night and Friday morning. How awesome. I am starting to feel the holiday mood.
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blah blah

Finally finished learning the song that I am playing for K later for worship. Very touching lyrics.

Once again, after knowing of God's amazing and unchanging love for us, what should we do in response? How should we live our lives in worship and praise of Him? Would others see us as children of God transformed by His love, or children of God taking His love for granted, living carelessly?
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Countdown: 5 days more to badminton tournament

I have been stepping down on training because I can feel my knees giving way. When I place my palm over my knee and extend my leg, I can hear not just a creaking sound, but sounds of glass breaking in my knee. I would love to see an xray of my knees right now :)

Training has been rather productive. I was just concerned that I have not been practising together with my partner for one reason or another. I am really incapable of writing anything other than relating the events of the day. Even so, I can't continue. My bed beckons.

Talk more when I am fully rested. Isqueeze's making strange noises. Night
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Countdown: 9 days more to the badminton tournament

Woohoo. The day is getting closer. I pray that I will be able to perform at my best and not disappoint my badminton partner and those who will be watching. :)

I enjoy every training session, be it the badminton sessions or the sessions at the gym. I am very much enthralled by the discipline of competitive training.

Yesterday was an hour long gym session with the gym buddy. 20 minutes on the skier, 20 minutes on the bicycle and another 20 minutes strengthening my core muscles. I was very moody and grouchy but of course exercise made it better.

Today was a 6-7p.m. training session with the sparring partner. He really made me run from side to side and front to back. We went for dinner @ Macs and they got me started on the Monopoly sticker game. Apparently, we are able to win fabulous prizes from the Monopoly game. I also scored a free milkshake which I am so going to redeem tomorrow. Strawberry strawberry strawberry.

Then I headed to YCK for a more leisurely training session with a friend. I practised my drop shots with her. She has a phobia for smashes. I thought I better be kind before she stops playing with me.

And now, my hand is weak and I am tired. Yet I must continue preparing for my facilitation for Ezer on Saturday. There were many valuable lessons I gathered from the 2 chapters. I am blessed by what I have learnt so far. More laterz..
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Randoms

I was overtaking 2 lorries to enter the slip road to KJE when I realised that I would never want to drive a van. I will prolly spend more money paying off the speeding fines at the end of it all.

My right hand is so sore I can't type properly. I am so glad that tomorrow's conference doesn't require me to exert much energy.

My mum, dad and bro are away. My mum away on holiday with my aunties in HK and MAcau. She will be coming home tomorrow. My dad and my bro in Thailand for a week for my bro's dancing lessons.

I came out to an old old friend(over sms) who's a christian. He said he has no issue with me being gay. I will be sitting with him at the conference tomorrow. :) I am thankful.

I get to wake up at 8a.m. tomorrow morning because the conference starts only at 9a.m.! :D I am happy.

The SH's still at a meeting. :( Poor thing. She's tired. Praying for strength for her and alertness as she drives home later.

I am looking forward to the Ozzie holiday. Counting down!

It's very disheartening and depressing hanging out with people who are critical and unkind with their words. Praying for wisdom to know what is the best thing to do. Praying also I won't be influenced. So I should spend more time with Jesus. Ever loving, ever edifying, ever beautiful.

I am hungry. Very hungry.
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Training plan for next week

Monday: Rest

Tuesday: Gym

Wednesday: Badminton with C

Thursday: Badminton with Sayoni Gals

Friday: Gym

Saturday: Rest

Sunday: 3 hours of badminton together with partner.
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Countdown: 13 days to the badminton tournament

I made many unforced errors today. I think my partner must be frustrated that I lost a few points. I thought I wasn't able to play much today but it didn't seem that bad. The only thing I couldn't do was the full smash because my arm was injured.

Anyhowz, I do need to train a lot more. My shots need to be more offensive. I need to be more aggressive. ATTACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

Praying that my arm will heal soon. Praying also that He will be in the centre of all this. He's the one who will give me the strength, power and concentration to persevere to the end. Ganbatte!
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A minute of silence

to mourn the demise of my really pretty 3 year old Wilson N code badminton racquet which had served me very well.

:(
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wakeboarding was ...

expensive.. and painful.. for me because of an old injury. I injured the flexor carpi ulnaris, one of the wrist flexor muscles of the forearm. My best friend told me it is liken to the Golf Elbow. Got to take it easy for badminton today.

Though it's expensive, I reckon I better do stuff like that now that I am still getting my full pay.

The time out at sea was awesome.
The feel of the wind against the face
The sun occasionally coming out to say hi
The comfortable conversations to the boat
Watching young kids riding the waves on the wakeboard
So proud of the SH for getting up and staying up the wakeboard on her first try

It's all worth the $65, I must say.
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The thing about Sunday

One reason why I love Sunday is that I get to go to church to meet God via corperate worship, via the sermon, via communion and via fellowship. I look forward to seeing the gals at church.

One reason why I do not love Sunday is that I have to prepare to go to work the next day.

BUT

This is the day that the Lord has made, let us be glad and rejoice in it.(Psalms 118:24)

Praying that the joy of the Lord will be my strength.
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Another thing I forgot to mention..

This was the conversation that also got my defense mechanism up. It was instinct, truly.

JS (another male colleague sitting opposite me) to MM (my suspected closeted gay colleague): MM, are you going anywhere for the holidays?

MM: No plans yet..

JS: How come? Oh ya, you got to save money?

S thinking in her mind (hmm, for what reason)

MM: No lah. Save money for what?

S: To get married?

JS: *Laughs*

MM: Get married to who? Get married to you ah? (directing the question to me) you is it, you is it? (laughing jokingly in an excited tone)

S: Erh. Gay marriages are not legalised in Singapore. Haha.

Conversation ends.
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Before the jog.. about work and colleagues

On Tuesday, my colleague, whom I feel has the inclination to be gay, seemed to hint that we should go on a holiday together. When we talked about travel plans, I told her I was going to Australia and Cambodia with a friend and left it as that.

On Wednesday, we were sitting together during a meeting and she suggested watching a movie. I decided to take the effort to get to know her better as a friend and colleague and agreed to watch it with her. She immediately suggested Monday after work. I was a little reluctant because I knew I wanted to spend the time training, yet I felt bad because as friends, we are supposed to give time to each other. The other reason I said yes to Monday was because the movie she suggested watching was ending its run. However, she seemed too overexcited and friendly and that got me scared, so I decided to ask her if it was okay for A to go with us, afterall the three of us work quite closely together. She said okay (with a smile, over sms). So the three of us have a date for dinner and movie @ Vivocity on Monday. That is another day without training. Bleah.

Maybe she just needs some company. I find it difficult to give a lot of myself to someone whom I cannot be myself with. I don't know if that is too selfish.

I was thinking that I will prolly come out to her over dinner.

A is getting quite comfortable with me. She has been more physically affectionate i.e grabbing my arm/elbow and holding it for the duration of time when we are talking. I do feel a lil uncomfortable yet I think this kinda signifies that she is comfortable with me and that makes me glad. I really think she has some gay genes in her. She enjoys looking at women's bodies and openly comments about what sexy bodies they have. And she just told some of our colleagues today that she would want to go on a spa holiday with me so she can see my body. Argh. I feel embarrassed whenever she says things like that.

Anywayz, I made a few booboos wrt the result slips and caused a colleague to do extra work because of my mistakes :( I feel really bad. I shall get him something to thank him.
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14 days to the badminton tournament

and I didn't train today. Not a single bit. I reckon I should take a break before wakeboarding tomorrow afternoon and the 2 hour badminton session on Sunday.

This Sunday's game is courtesy of M. The 2 hours session shouldn't be too tiring since we will all be taking turns to play. My partner will be back in action that day. Time to work on the court chemistry. Yay!

I am very thankful to the different people who has been providing some badminton training for me in one way or another.

Maybe I should just go for a 20 minutes jog now. ;) I am quite becoming the exercise freak.( I didn't go in the end)

Oh. No foot reflexology for me today too. Bleah. Too lazy to travel that far.
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15 days to badminton tournament

And so I had 2 badminton sessions today and I am itching for foot reflexology. Tomorrow!

I am beginning to move my feet a little more during both games so those were 2 rather exhausting sessions for me. I am lying on my bed now because my back is a little sore :)

There was some time in between the badminton slots and a dear friend had asked me out for dinner last week. Her maid cooked for us. Delicious food. She's a straight friend who knows about my sexual orientation so the sharing was very honest. I like!

I am truly sleepy now. Night night.
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Pettitoes?

I was driving through Balestier Road on my way back from badminton when I saw the signboard of this place. It is called Pigs Claypot Pettitoes. I spent about a minute wondering what Pettitoes are. I remember pigs dancing on their hind legs in cartoons and remembered their cute pink hooves. Perhaps Pettitoes means petticoats on toes? heh.

I asked my best friend reliable as she is. And this is what I found out:


pet⋅ti⋅toes  /ˈpɛtiˌtoʊz/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [pet-ee-tohz] Show IPA

–plural noun 1. the feet of a pig, esp. used as food.
2. the human toes or feet, esp. those of a child.

The wonders of Google, my best friend.
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I think it's a crappy excuse to give..

the excuse I have heard recently for someone to initiate a break up is that she thinks homosexuality is wrong in the eyes of God and the proper way is to get married and have kids.

Don't be mistaken, I am not saying that I have issues with people who thinks that way. I just have issues with someone who uses that excuse to break up with their partner when the real reason is because they don't want to be with their partners anymore/they want to be with someone else.

Sigh.
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Countdown: 17 days to badminton tournament

Today's workout was a short one (20 minutes skier, 20 minutes bike, 15 minutes of strengthening the core) because I had a dinner appointment with the SH. The gym buddy joined too, for a yummy meal of fish head curry @ Karu's. Both of them thought other places serve better fish head curry. I wasn't too fussy and was in fact rather pleased with the food.

A strong core will allow the body to keep optimal body alignment to efficiently transfer force from the lower to the upper body and back again so I can keep my balance while returning those high and deep shots. Having a strong core will also put me in a better position to do a smash.

Tomorrow is a busy day. *takes a deep breath* I better rest early tonight. Durian last night, fish head curry tonight. Heaty heaty. Night night.
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Posting @ Work

One of those rare times. There is no drive to do any constructive work now.

okay. back to work. I feel guilty blogging @ work.
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Countdown: 18 days to badminton Tournament

There was supposed to be tennis last night but it rained when we reached. Bleah. Was deciding between gym and foot reflexology. I took the easier way out and went for foot reflexology at Hougang Mall nearby( which is freaking far from my place..) Kohong is a good foot reflexology centre. None of the foot reflexologists has failed so far.

I am so tired. It was a good workout just now. I was working on my long range shots and a little on my smashes. Just a 45 minutes session and it was tiring enough.

I was hearing out a friend of her relationship woes, and it struck me that certain information about your romantic relationship is better off not shared. Sharing what one is displeased with with a partner opens up the door for a third party to come in. Much as it is tempting to release our frustrations, one way to guard our romantic relationships would be to resolve problems within the relationship, with lots of prayer for wisdom, grace, guidance and love.

I just received the timetable for ETC. Seems like it's half a day on Wed and a full day on Friday. Quite doable if the management is willing to let me work a 4 day week and skip staff contact time.

That's all for now. Gonna shower, read the bible for a bit before heading for CG.
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I learnt something from today's badminton session

and that is to watch the hand motion of the opponent who is returning the shuttlecock. Usually, I will react only when the shuttlecock is in motion. By observing the hand motion of the opponent, I have 1-2 more seconds more reaction time to help me be in a better position to return the shuttlecock.

Of course, I have to be fitter. If not, I will have enough mental capacity only to react to the shots, not predict the shots.

SPE is a nice place to be to play badminton. Because there is Mr Prata just opposite and I had a milo dinosaur and half a chicken murtabak with the semi-indian.

The SH's exact words on sms: You are putting all the calories back!!!:)

I am fasting from chocolate for a week. Thanks to K for accompanying me!
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I am playing badminton afterall..

Well, there was a free game going on at Hougang Sports Hall at 5p.m. today but because we didn't rsvp, all the spaces were taken up. R and J were so keen on playing that they were willing to travel the distance. So since they are in the East (NE) and me in the West (Somewhat NW), I looked for courts at SPE Bt Timah and they have a court at 6p.m. So we are all going to get a workout from badminton afterall. Yipee!
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Sunday.

I just came home from an ETC briefing @ Covenant. I am seriously exploring doing a few courses next year particularly in the Biblical Track. They are going to send us the course details soon. But must pay, and not really cheap. A few hundred dollars for the year. God will make a way, thank you Lord!

Today's take home message from the sermon really hit home. I think it's an essential message of today: Do not give God the leftovers; leftover time, leftover monies, leftover effort, leftover everything. When we say we put God first, our action must equate to our talk. And the order of priority; God, Family, Close friends, Work. ( That is from an Australian's point of view :P) I feel that as long as we put God first, everything else will fall in place. He will lead where we will follow.

Lord, I really want to put you first in every aspect of my life; in my work, in my relationship with the SH, in my service to your people, in my training for the badminton tournament, even in the love for your people.. Help me (in the most gentle way possible) learn what it really means to put you first in everything that I do. Saturate me with your presence. Amen.
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Training on Saturday and more..

What a blessing to be able to sleep in on Saturday!

I woke at 11a.m. and went for a badminton training session at the SSC with 2 others. It must either be the afternoon heat or the intensive training session that I was dripping with sweat. Really dripping! The training session primarily worked on my game stamina and my smashes. Boy! That was tiring.

Then I headed for another session with a few others I do not know very well. They played 21 point games. I played 2 games with them at Toa Payoh East CC before I had to leave to meet the SH to get 2 gifts plus bread for a dinner party. Toa Payoh East CC didn't have shower facilities so I had to drive down to Toa Payoh Stadium to shower and dress " casual elegent" as required by the hostess for the farewell dinner for a dear friend.

Met up with the SH to get expensive french and italian loaves as requested by the hostess (I learnt from Sun Moulin @ Isetan then that Ciabatta is actually an italian bread!)

So anyway, dinner was fun and cosy. The interaction was interesting and informational in the very comfortable apartment. I would love to have an apartment like that someday. :)

Laterz..
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Updates on Training

I was supposed to have an afternoon badminton training session yesterday but the sparring partner was unwell. At night, badminton was at CSC club @ Tessensohn. It was freaking far but someone new (J) to the Sayoni Badminton Club initiated booking the courts so I shouldn't complain.

I was a little dazed while playing (prolly cuz of the travelling distance) and didn't play very well. The other reason why I didn't play as well was because of my knee. It felt like something had shifted in the knee region so it felt uncomfortable bending my knee (imagine me moving like a crab on a court, that was how it felt like) But any bit of exercise helps, especially in the reduction of weight. Besides, I love eating (almond roca chocolate - 40% trans fat - so going to die early)! I am such a serial monogamist with chocolates! The flavour of the season is definitely the Almond Roca.

On a side note, I must mention that I have not lost weight for my partner before! hehe.. they might have hinted very subtly but I guess it wasn't a pressing issue because a reduction in the fat content would prolly mean a reduction of fat somewhere else. Cuddly is one of the reasons why they love/loved me. hehe..

Anywayz, as I had mentioned before, the reason why I want to lose weight is so I can move faster on court. Besides, the unproportionate body (heavy top, small bottom) doesn't help my knee condition. Which sets me thinking: Weight training actually causes my body to be heavier because of the increase in muscle mass. So my focus for this season would be to continue my cardiovascular activity (the jogging, skiing and cycling), strength the muscles around my knees to support the knees, and lighten up on weights done on the upper body so the legs carry less weight.

My usual gym routine would be to do 20 minutes on the skier, 20 minutes on the bicycle and 20 minutes on weights (which I just did an hour ago). Maybe I could just have an hour of cardio whenever I hit the gym. Sweet!

And the shoes. I initially thought the Nike court shoes will be better than the Nike cross trainer but I feel bouncier and lighter on the Nike Cross Trainer so I will prolly use that from now on. It's easier on my knees too.

That's all the training update for today.
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Haha.. I am tickled!

I asked my best friend what a continental breakfast consist. This was what I got.

Q: What does "Continental Breakfast" mean?

A: It means you're hungry by 10:30.
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Verse of the day

'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 54:10
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Don't leave the Word behind

I have been a lil lazy in reading the bible, just settling for the Encouragement for the Day which comes in through the email. Then I realised that I have been doing many things out of convenience; praying merely when there's a need, when someone comes to mind, whenever someone asks for prayers and worshipping to music only while driving or when the music is on.

While checking the email for the encouragement for the day, I heard this "Don't settle for others' daily devotions, read the bible. Don't leave the bible behind." And I reckon the discipline of praying and setting aside time to worship at the Lord's feet must stay.

Yes Sir!
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The Secret Blog

I keep a blog to record the days we meet and what we do. I was just updating the entries when I realised that we are beginning to meet more often. When we meet so often and I still want to see more of her, does that mean that it is almost time to move in together?
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Singapore Idol

The judges on Singapore Idol ain't too kind. They were very obviously trying to get the 16 year old Duane out by influencing the audience's opinion of him. Calling him big baby in a mocking tone! I was shocked, honestly. But he really ought to lose a bit of weight and do something to his teeth to look more like an idol. I really enjoyed his singing though. He sounds better than he looks, that's all I will say.

Exams are over, I can start generating some discussion on the Singapore Idol as writing exercises for the kids. That should be fun for them.
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I lose track of time when I look into your eyes.

Sometimes we know, but we don't do.

today's training

And so I didn't go to the gym. By the time I finished at work, it was already 3ish and I had an appointment at 5. I headed to the tracks and started jogging. I was rather determined to finish 6 rounds but the drizzle came (thankfully) and I didn't feel much of a loser finishing after the 5th. Did some sprints and sidesteps in all directions to facilitate moving on court. That took all of 30 minutes. Quick workout.

I am looking forward to 2 hours of badminton tomorrow!
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Exercise Schedule

Wednesday - 20 minutes jog, 20 minutes bike, 20 minutes skier, 20 minutes weights

Thursday - 2 hours badminton

Friday - 20 minutes jog, 20 minutes bike, 20 minutes skier, 20 minutes weights

Saturday - 2 hours badminton

Sunday - 2 hours badminton

So exciting!
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Yay!

I am shadowing ZH at the end of January! Time to pick up the guitar and start getting serious about brushing up my skills! :)
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Guys

SH and I were having brekkie at the tentage area after service. My ex-bf saw us and waved hi. I waved back. He was using his mobile.

A few days later on msn.

D: Hey shen, did you get my sms ?

S: No.. did you send to the other phone? I cancelled the Singtel line a few weeks ago. What's up?

D. OIC, no, i was going to ask you if you wanted to go to bukit tinggi with Steve and I. You can ask another gf along (he has seen me with the SH a few times).

S: oh.. thanks for asking but no thanks. I am preparing for a badminton tournament at the end of Nov.

D: Oh, Steve and I will throw shuttlecocks at you to practise. Go lah.

S: It's okay, enjoy yourself. Thanks for inviting.

I might just come out to him the next time we have a heart to heart chat.. and the guy who proposed to me thrice, he asked me out on a date again just a few hours ago. I am also planning to come out to him but I think he might not be able to understand. He also has seen me a few times with the SH.
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Moving forward :)

One new face
Few familiar faces
Renewed strength
Defined purpose
God works in amazing ways
hearts touched during worship
hearts touched during message
hearts touched during prayer
the things of God
worth more than silver or gold
Thanks be to Him
All glory to Him
and to Him alone.
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Counting down

Another 23 days to a real break. I can't wait!! I wanna read the OT through from cover to cover this hols!
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You

Who can compare to You
You who hold my world in your hand
You who empower me to rise above my circumstance
You who will never fail me
You who will never put me in circumstances beyond what I can bear
I may run away from it all
But it is you gracious and merciful Father
Who draws me back into your loving arms once again.
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Be still

Our Lord, our God, the Holy one of Israel.

When the oceans rise and thunder roars
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are King over the flood
I will be still and know You are God

Still - Hillsongs
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Question:

When will we get a generation who will rise up above their circumstances to make a difference for God?

Answer: When we start praying.
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A Reminder:

" Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ, I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. "

Phil 2: 14-16.
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One Question:

Are our views Christ-like?
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Coming out

I am gathering courage to come out to my DG gals. I forgot to mention that I came out to my DGL last Friday. She's really kind and nice about it. I know why I look up to her so much. She asked me to pray for her too because she is at crossroads now in regards to her place in ministry and which course of study to take. I pray that her new ministry would be LGBT related. Maybe she can come and lead PLUSH. I have gained plentiful from her. Just a random thought and am going to make it a prayer.

I reckon DG is a good place to start coming out to because of the time spent with them weekly for the past few years. But my pastor's wife did tell me not to share my views on reconciling my sexuality and faith with anyone so they won't be stumbled. This calls for more prayer for wisdom and discernment.

How do we create authentic relationships with others when we can't be real with them; when they do not know the people special in our lives and how and where we spend time in ministry?
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gasps!

my ex-student put on her msn tagline - People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.

aiyo.......
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oh!

I forgot to mention that my forearm and chest muscles are so aching.. but so shoik :).
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Goodbye Weekend!

Shen loves prata and she loves the prata @ the Indian Muslim shop outside the SH's place. So after the documentary, I was supposed to meet the SH @ a birthday celebration but they decided to end the celebration early. We decided to have prata outside her place instead and since half of the entourage lives around that area, we headed there together and ate $31 worth of food and drinks, all 8 of us!

SH and I walked around the neighbourhood after dinner/supper. Such a bummer to live so far away from each other.

I am craving chocolate now. I shall go have 1 almond roca (niceeeeee) @ midnight.. :)

Miracle today: ( I was praying the whole 25 minutes) : Distance from CCK to Great World City- Very far. Time taken to reach, park, take the lift up and collect movie tickets - 25 minutes.
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A post before I whizz out in and out of the bathroom and out of the house!

Just heard a wonderful and encouraging sermon online. 45 minutes. Real Christianity is accepting. God is not anti-anyone. He is for us. My heart is warmed.

http://www.baysidechurch.com.au/content/view/164/30/

Just had another training session courtesy of J and Y. THey are the power smashers. I realised all the power smashers used to play for school. It was good for G and I to take their shots. I would like to work on my high and long drives at the baseline while in motion. I have no problems hitting when I am in position. It's when I am in motion that my shots are weak. I think that needs working on.

It's a crazy weekend of too many things to do. In the midst of all the busyness, I am thankful for a great time of sharing of fellowship with gals from Sayoni @ dinner, followed by a impromptu surprise birthday celebration for S with some other gals from FCC, thankful for the PLUSHIES for their contribution in making stewardship so easy and smooth to lead, thankful even for the chance to continue fellowshipping with the gals later for the documentary and some post dinner thingy with some others.

I shall shower now before I am too late! :)

Thank you Jesus for loving me! :)
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Friday going on Saturday

Didn't jog. Plan got thwarted. Not that I am complaining. There was just too much exercise in a week for my Runner's Knee. And I can't yoga tomorrow because the time of the month does not permit many positions. While the SH is yoga-ing, I shall attempt to jog. Hopefully the view of the cable cars, the Star Virgo and the activities below will keep me on the treadmill for 20 minutes. Grrr.. I really hate jogging.

A total of 6 Synflexes since last night! Popping lozenges too! Grrrr..

Counting down to the holidays. Two weeks more!
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R's and J's place @ 2345

The cool of the air
Brought it into the room
Flitting around one moment
and crawling around another
It crawled for far too long;
surely there is some threat
with the presence of two human beings in the room
The reason was its missing wings
Stuck to the white marble floor
So fragile were the wings
So easily detached from its body
Crawling, still crawling
in no particular direction
with no particular purpose
Lost, directionless, purposeless
is the insect without wings
.

I love the feeling of being loved exclusively.
I love the feeling of feeling special.
I love the feeling of being desired.
I love the feeling of being adored.

I am more than a reward at the end of the week.
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Professional Shuttler wannabe's blog

It's Friday in about 8 minutes! :)

The training for the badminton doubles competition has really gotten into me. I am really quite enthusiastic about working towards the 28th Nov! I don't have to win. I just want to try my best.

My colleague, fellow PE teacher and ex-tennis coach told me something that inspired me to start jogging. He said that someone wise told him sometime ago that we train to be fit to play games, not play games to get fit. He also shared that when he jogs three to four times a week, his shots ( he plays badminton once a week too) are sharper, he moves faster, he makes fewer mistakes (he can smash up to 6 shots consecutively instead of the usual 3-4).

Today was our second training session @ CCK Sports Hall. It was an hour of mastering our shots. I was about to write more about our strengths and weaknesses when I stopped myself. Top Secret! At least until 28th Nov. We have yet to sign up since there is no early bird's offer. Moreover, we won't know what will happen to us before the day of the competition. :) We might just be training so hard that we get injured just before the competition, and there goes the $100 participation fees.

I have been doing some sort of exercise since last Thursday. Badminton on Thursday, Gym on Friday, Yoga on Saturday, Badminton on Sunday, Tennis on Monday, Rest on Tuesday, Badminton yesterday and 2 sessions of badminton today. Once with my partner, and the other with the sayoni usuals + 2 new challengers. :)

The best way to build the stamina is through jogging. That will also help to drop a kilo or two. Being slightly lighter will help me to be more agile and also move faster on court.

Jogging I will be tomorrow! (today) More updates soon!
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The week in a flash

The week had indeed gone by very quickly. It was a Deepavali off-in-lieu for me on Monday. THe SH took leave too so we spent a portion of the day together. Tennis was a good workout though I consumed a can of chrysanthemum tea and a can of coke zero courtesy of J and D respectively. The SH asked me last night (after I ordered Chendol @ 10p.m.) why I have to consume so much sweet stuff. I should have answered: To maintain my sweetness. Haha.

THe week in a flash. Tuesday to Friday 8a.m. - 5p.m. were PSLE marking days, so I didn't have access to the internet at all but i managed to squeeze in lots of readings during the breaks.

On Tuesday, I had the privilege of visiting another CG because PLUSH was taking a break. I was greatly ministered and God was clearly in the midst of all the sharing. I even had a chance to share from what God had spoken last Sunday during the "Solitude" moment with Him and amazingly, that was in line with the sharing too. God works in wonderful ways.

Celebrated our 7th Monthniversary on Wednesday. I am very thankful that God brought us into each other's path and had sustained us (because being in a relationship is no easy feat) in this season of growth, understanding, learning more about each other and what God is teaching us.

Badminton with the usual gals on Thursday. Made up my mind to take part in the badminton competition with G, but we are prolly not signing up till closer to the deadline of the registration just in case we injure ourselves during the intensive training sessions. The competition will be held end Nov so we have essentially 5 weeks to prepare.

Friday was catching up with the gym buddy over gym. Then I had some alone time but I ended up getting upset over a silly matter which was resolved overnight (the next afternoon).

Saturday was yoga-ing with the SH and we spent some quality time together. She bought us tickets to watch Dunas, one of the exotic flamengo mixed with contemporary kind of dance available during this period of the Dance Festival. The tickets were expensive but she got it knowing that I won't pay that amount to watch a dance performance. So sweet of her. We had excellent hokkien mee and chendol (I had that) @ the Esplanade Hawker Centre.

Enough update for now. Praying for a purposeful week ahead. Purposefully busy! :)
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The different levels according to Shen inspired by the H.S (hopefully).

Level 1 - Good character, Compassionate heart.
Level 2 - Good character, Compassionate heart. Gives thanks in all circumstances.
Level 3 - Good character, Compassionate heart. Gives thanks in all circumstances. Seeks to follow God's will.

Help me see beyond Calvary!
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of a simple one-liner

Sometimes, we are so busy we forget. But truly, it takes a bit of the will to divert our gaze to the author and perfector of our faith and consider His sovereignty, things will appear better.

"when we see you, we find strength to face the day".

Paul Baloche (Hosanna)
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Question

I was watching the horse run in circles today.
They do not pant like dogs do.
How do they lose heat then?
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Thessalonians?

The SH was asking me why I dreamt about the word Thessalonians because at the first read, there ain't any outstanding message that seemed to stand out. I did a deeper read today and this was what stood out.

"Do not put out the Spirit's fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil."

1 Thessalonians 5:19-20
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Their ain't enuf daze inn zee weakands

Honestly, life can be so interesting if only one would let it be. Different experiences. Different friends. Different perspectives. Different situations. Different consequences. Just different different.

Watched Julie and Julia with the SH. No, I was not inspired to be the French Chef after the movie. I was inspired to write more about my journey as Shen everyday. Narcissistic eh. Do you know there is a condition called Narcissistic Personality Disorder(NPD). All the medical conditions they come up with so people will pay doctors to be treated. ADHD, ADD... in my time, children are just called hyperactive. What is becoming of the world today..

I drove around a quarter of Singapore to find a place of solitude. Solitude with two other friends ( Together but Alone (TBA) yes, another acronym) requires more logistical coordination. It was a good hour and 10 minutes with the Lord. (Yes, I was timing it to see how far I can go) It has been a long while and I reckoned it was a good time to start after hearing the importance of solitude 4-5 times in the past week including twice today in both sermons.

I don't think I should tithe to both churches anymore. A decision needs to be made.
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long rambles

I took medical leave today. Mostly because of stress and the deadlines to be met tomorrow. I was hoping I could wait till the end of Friday and enjoy the long weekend, but I really could not bear the thought of handling any more stress(from the kids) other than the stress from the deadlines. I told the doctor I was stressed. She asked if I was depressed. I am not. But I think I am PMSsing. I have been feeling really tired. This morning, I could feel my heartbeat quicken when I think about work. I stopped thinking when I could feel a headache coming.

I finished marking a stack of exam essays in the morning. Sometimes, I am even embarrassed to be known as an English teacher though these students from these different classes are not taught by me. Honestly, compared to before, the standard of English has really deteriorated. I really wonder whose fault it could be. I am very tempted to put the blame on MOE, on how they recruit and train teachers, on how they implement new initiatives beneficial only for the top students, how they change the curriculum the American way forgetting how important basic grammar rules are in our uniquely multiracial Singapore.

A few days ago, I received a card and I was encouraged that I could make a positive difference in one person's life. I realised over these few years what I do best, and what I feel happiest doing. Yet in the midst of all of that, I always ask myself how I can be a good testimony at my workplace. I guess it's especially difficult because there is this natural need to want to excel and be better to prove that not all gay people are dsyfunctional, difficult or mediocre. WHile I know how I do not need to prove anything in front of an all-knowing, miracle-performing God, people do look at who, what and how you are and draw conclusions from there.

I am not sure if this whole post is coherent but I shall just leave this as that and continue my work. Ciaoz.
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kids really start young nowadays..

While walking home from the multi-storey car park to my block ( a distance of 200 metres), I saw two butch-looking teenagers (from 2 different groups). THey must not be more than 14 years old..
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awesome weekend

the weekend will never be complete without nuggets of wisdom and inspiration from God, both from the pulpit and godly people of God.

While driving to meet the dg gals today, I was kinda reflecting on God's goodness in my life for the past 3 months, because, surely the one question we all have to answer during the meet up is, " What has transpired in the last 3 months? "

Still in a defensive mode because at least 1 person in the DG knows that I am an active gay christian (which is not a good thing from her point of view because I am supposedly leading people astray), I had to find things that testify of God's steadfast love and His promises fulfilled in my life. I found 3 major events to give thanks for in the past 3 months ; the approval of my part-time teaching application, my very old friend who kinda received Christ and my relationship with my family members.

As I was saying, I was recounting God's goodness when I realised how important a quiet time of reflection is to be continually thankful for God's every little blessing in our lives. THe mere fact that we are still breathing is a testify of God's goodness to us. How much discontent will be reduced when we finally recognise how small we are and how big God is, how horrible we are and how gracious God has been despite of.

During the sharing, my DGL reiterated that point, confirming what I ought to start doing. She was emphasising on the importance of a time of total silence for us to just dwell in God's presence. To do absolutely nothing, not even His work.. and just be still.

Things that facilitate counselling; to see with the spiritual eyes and not the physical eyes, to give biblical precepts and not specific pieces of advice. Some time ago, that was what the SH shared with me too. Isn't she brilliant? :D

When people follow themselves, they get disillusioned with life. There needs to be a constant to look to. It's like fixing our eyes on a constant object when we are out in rough seas so we do not suffer from motion sickness. THe object is Jesussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

and of course, the other reason why it was an awesome weekend was the surprise birthday celebration for the SH! Amazing time of fun and togetherness with friends plus quality time together. How much better can the weekend get??
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The week is almost ending.. thank God

Every morning, when I will myself to wake up, I always tell myself that I will take a nap in the afternoon after classes. But that never happens. There are far too many things to do. I am only waiting for the week to end so I can crash.

It's really only by God's grace that I pulled through this week without falling sick. Having only 1 week left before the start of their exams, the pace in the lessons has been stepped up and with that comes more marking. Moreover, we are supposed to stop all group activities with the ongoing PSLE so the mode of teaching is mostly direct instruction. I had 2 and a half hours of classroom lessons on Monday, 2 hours on Tuesday, 2 hours on Wednesday and 2 and a half today. These are just classroom lessons. Bleah. So exhausted.

I am thankful my gym buddy pulled me to the gym last night. Ran 2.4km with him before gym. I hate running but I was actually appreciative of the time to space out last night.

Back to marking.
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this verse just came to mind so I shall post it.

Matthew 10:26

"There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known."

for God searches the hearts of man and brings to light what is hidden.

My prayer is for a pure heart. A broken spirit and a contrite heart. God will not despise.
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food for thought - no chocolate, donuts, cakes, ice-cream though:(

So I was thinking about lukewarm-ness in terms of our relationship with GOd;

Revelation 3:16 says " so becuase you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I am going to spit you out of my mouth. "

I spent a whole 15 minutes reckoning with this idea about lukewarm- ness and what it means when God views lukewarm-ness as a greater sin than being cold. I finally came up with this.

When we are hot (really engaged with God), when He leads us in whatever aspect, we know He is leading us, and so we follow and there, we will see the best results.

When we are cold (really bochap God), we take matters into our own hands and make our own decisions but decisions are still made.

When we are lukewarm, we think we are waiting for God's leading, but because we are not engaged with Him, we don't know he is leading, and we continue waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting.. you get the idea.

An example I can think of is the idea of waiting for the right person to come along.

When we are hot, we follow God's leading and we get someone who is perfect for us.

When we are cold, we make our own choices and get someone whom we think is perfect for us, whether he/she is or not, we still have someone.

When we are lukewarm, we appear to be following God's leading and so wait in anticipation for the right one, but because we are lukewarm, we don't know when the right one comes along, so we just wait and wait and wait.. and blame God when no one comes along.

lol.

Just for entertainment's sake. Don't take the above too seriously.

But I think what Revelations 3:16 was talking about is this: Being cold means not being aware of the Lordship of Christ so people who are cold are forgiven. However, lukewarmness seems to imply that someone has already experienced God and His goodness yet falls away from Him. Yawns. I shall read more about this tomorrow. TIme to sleep.
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Happy weekend.

Was a great weekend.

I had a good amount of alone time and that was good. :) Friday night was spent having my favourite fish soup and fried oyster dinner @ Bukit Batok. Saturday afternoon was spent watching Surrogate before shopping for lanterns and sparklers.

There was good time spent with the SH yoga-ing on Saturday and lazing in the afternoon after church-ing together.

There was great time meeting up with peeps for lantern-ing, mooncaking and sparkles-ing on the Saturday evening at ECP and lunching with some over herbal chicky and catch ups.

Awesome! Great sermon by Carolyn. One of the main points that she put across was the value God places on relationships, which she shared was the primary reason why we were created, not our achievements and the works of our hands. Ditto. It wasn't a coincidence I sent out the Crosswalk devotion to plushcore on Friday. Exactly the same.

God is good. Oh. One thing though. I never could use secular songs for worship in church even though God is mentioned in the song.. I can't. Maybe others can. I can't bear to sing. What if God was one of us, just a slob like one of us.. I hold him in too much awe to even think he's a slob. His timing is impeccable. And he never fails to do what the Father commands. How can he be a slob.

Know something? I love Jesus. I really do. And it's a joy to hear others share that they learn what it means to put God in the centre of their relationship because He alone can meet their deepest needs and desires.

Keep looking to His perfect love for the imperfect us. :)
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something sweet

heard something sweet yesterday while gymming with the gym kaki. He said that his bf, after knowing that he suffers an allergic reaction everytime he stays over, changes the bedsheet every single time he goes over. So sweet.. Sweet chap he is.
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Moving on....

Finished Proverbs. Moving on to Thessalonians. Dreamt about it 3 nights ago. Told the SH. That will be our common QT book for now. The first letter of Paul to the Thessalonians.
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Have always wanted to post this song

Casting Crowns' usual style. Not very worshipful kinda lyrics but totally reflectivable. Heh. I luff creating new words. This song requires time to get used to. I would love to think and write like that some day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGHILmOHptY


Slow Fade - Casting Crowns

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
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dedication to a special friend

Today brings back many memories of the past;
Beautiful ones, sad ones. Simple ones, complicated ones
Whichever the ones we are still holding on to
We have already moved ahead, have already looked onward
I only look back to appreciate those precious moments
and relish the lessons learnt from the experiences
I hope you too.
Happy birthday to you.
Wishing you loads of happiness, joy and love on this special day.

Hugs and love,
me
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the cute Primary Twos..

I have a pair of twins in Primary 2, Edward and Edwin. They really look alike. The only way I can distinguish them is via the really tiny mole on Edwin's chin. Since they are hyperactive, I can't run to them to find out who has the mole, so I discovered the more efficient way. " Ed!" :)

I have another kid. He used one of the NDP's tattoos and stuck it on his cheek. When he came back the following day, his once smooth cheek had an abrasion. His father had tried to "scrap" the tattoo from his cheek. Till today, there is still a mark on his cheek. Poor boy.
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She is good for me

She helps me to be more environmentally conscious.
She helps me eat healthier meals.
She helps me speak better.
She helps me think more.
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random updates

laughed so much during CG yesterday. It was so funny! Never had so much fun in ages. I hope the rest of the women will enjoy Sunday too. :)

Got half of the children's day gifts, thanks to YM.

taught the kids how to throw a sidearm pass for frisbee. Super sexy, the way the frisbee flies. :)

40 minutes cardio today!

couldn't solve 2 of my tuition kid's math problems today!!!!!! Sheez!

THe SH's arriving @ 0040!! I hope I will be able to keep awake till then to say "WELCOME BACK, BABY!!"

learnt about the difference between an anemic person and a person with blood disorder from the doctor.

So many things to do, so little time!
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Is God telling me something through Proverbs?

I have mellowed. Or maybe I am resigned. Gone were the days where I would raise my voice at parents when I ask to meet them because their children had misbehaved repeatedly.

Today, my heart just softened. When I saw the hopelessness in the eyes of the mother, and how she called her son useless in front of me, I could not bear to raise my voice at all. I told her gently what and how she could help the son, and spoke to my pupil, her son (incorrigible one) and told him what he has to do.

SOmetimes, I am really at a loss what to do. I don't feel like punishing and scolding pupils who don't do their homework, students who don't bring their work. I speak to them sternly, yes. But will that help? For some, yes. And for those that don't, it's so tiring having to punish and scold them. The reward system works for some, but not for others. There is no perfect system. Sometimes, in order to benefit those who want to learn, we just got to move on. I have learnt that about two years ago.

Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.
If you strike him with the rod,
you will save his soul from Sheol (hell).

Proverbs 23:13-14
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A morning reflection

When I woke this morning, I thought about the conversation I had with IR over dinner. We shared mostly about our journey and process in reconciling our faith and sexuality. I like hearing from fellow gay christians and I always enjoy chatting with someone much older, more mature in terms of life experiences. I learnt something in that process.. I realised also that she asked the right questions which got me sharing, so much that I didn't get to know as much about herself. In most of my interactions with people,I am often the one asking the questions. Those who can get me to share, has a skill.

That's one thing that attracted me to the SH. She asks the right questions and patiently hears me out even when I take a long time to process my thoughts over complex matters. :p She is nice to me. I feel special. That's also one essential characteristic that form the basis of my romantic attraction to someone. Someone who's able to ask the right questions and elicit responses from my complex thoughts. No. I am not attracted to IR. Hiak hiak. It takes me a lot more to be attracted to someone. The SH is the only person I want to be with.

Heard news of another break up. The relationship lasted only 3 months. Sigh.
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Such a packed weekend

as usual. I comforted myself thinking that I am busy for a reason. Some people keep themselves occupied with so many things but they still feel emptiness. And some do not know what they really want in life and live a day at a time; born to live, having to work to live, and waiting for the day to disappear from the face of the earth.

What have I been busy with? I sat in the salon for 5 and a half hours, doing the rebonding, colouring, cut and treatment stuff. All for $200. I used to pay 300 plus for the same process. So it's a good $200 spread out over the next 9 months. I finished reading nearly every article in the Saturday's newspapers and 2 chapters of Pastor Ed's book. Sent my Gu Ma back and had a good chat with her. She's travelling again! To HK this time.

Had a good time chilling with some of the gals over BBQ and strawberry cheesecake ice-cream. So good hor, J? They were so kind to protect my 5 and a half hours long hair by asking me to stay away from the heat. So sweet... of course, that was after making fun of the 5 and a half hours, and the hair. Went home shortly after we finished all the food, chat and planning. Missed TABOO because of an online date with the SH at 10p.m. THat was my Saturday.

Sunday was service in Covenant in the morning. Gasps! The pastor's wife texted me early in the morning and said she has not seen me for a long time and asked if everything was alright. As with all early morning appointments, I had to rush so I forgot to reply her sms. She was standing outside the Sanctuary shaking hands. I acknowledged her sms. Thank God she was busy. Sent her a text message to thank her for her concern and told her I was fine. Headed to FCC where the message was about Home and Family. 4 important points on church as home and family:

1) Committment
2) Contribution
3) (forgot!!! will remember by tomorrow!)Communication!!! (see I remember)
4) Humility

Had herbal chicken for lunch. SO delicious.. Had table full of gals. Had good conversations.

Headed to Sheng Shiong @ Tekka Mall. Femme power!!! 40 minutes in the building to shop for all the food stuff! Shopped a lil @ Bencoolen then BUGIS JUNCTION. Had a snack @ YaKun with the rest of the gang who finished shopping for the games stuff too. Spotted a very big and muscular angmoh. I was pretty sure she is gay. THe rest didn't confirm. Walked around some more before heading to Park Mall's Sakae Sushi to catch up some more with K before IR came to have dinner. THen K went off for her wedding dinner. YL texted to go BB with another friend. Popped by BB till it was time to go back to see the SH online at 10p.m.. :)

More activities tomorrow, but I get to sleep in. So good...
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on Exercise and God

by the 3rd gym session this week (thanks to my dear friend), I was feeling a lil underworked though we spent the same amount of time each time, working on almost the same machines. I reckon it's prolly due to the fact that my muscles have been accustomed to the work done on them.

The function of a muscle is to permit movement and to maintain posture. When additional work is applied on a muscle, it achieves strength gains. Over a period of time, less effort is required to perform the same task because the muscle is already accustomed to the amount of weight applied. When you continue to pile on the weights, you will just get stronger.

I liken that to our walk with God. We are born with a purpose. Initially, it might be hard work to do what is good for us. But when we discipline ourselves to do what is good and right, it will be easier after a while because our capacity is enlarged every single time we train. That allows room for more growth and creates the foundation for greater things to come.

I have been talking too much with the doctor (he's gay and attached to my friend). I like the conversations we have. It stimulates me. Talking to me reminded me how much I loved Biology, Anatomy and Physiology. I googled Physiotherapy, just to explore what I could do in that line. (too much, not worth the money and time spent on studying).

0118! Got to wake up early for church! Ciaoz!
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Verse of the day ( My sister was driving me up the wall)

Good sense makes one slow to anger,
and it is his glory to overlook an offense

Proverbs 19:11
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Of Credit cards..

I just went downstairs to hand a photocopy of my IC and my pay slip to this guy who was collecting these documents on behalf of HSBC.

I really appreciate when people follow instructions. He called before he came to say that he would be here in half an hour's. I told him to give me a call when he reaches so I can go down to pass the documents to him. I try to avoid having cookie bark as much as possible. She's kinda old already, and the last thing I want is for the neighbours to complain to HDB, HDB threatening to evict us for not removing a big dog from our flat, my dad to nag at me and me having to move out with Cookie. Moving is a very stressful event for Cookie.

I feel kinda bad asking him to call because one call would prolly cost him 10cents? They only earn $5 every time they bring back a complete set of documents and $2 if they bring back an incomplete set.

Anywayz, I agreed to sign up for the HSBC Platinum cuz of the $7 movie booklet from GV and the $1200 worth of vouchers that will be given to me once the card is approved. On top of that, there is $40 rebate for the first 4 months if I use the card. And membership is free for 2 years. It's the dining vouchers that I am looking forward to. THe rest are mostly not very useful.

There is this other card that I really like to sign up for. The OCBC platinum. My colleague who's also a foodie told me it's something like the Feed @ the Raffles Card, just that this is completely free. They give one for one buffets at the Mandarin Hotels' restaurants on weekdays. :) But I am too lazy to initiate signing up. Shall wait for them to call me. It's a good thing to have, but not important enough to go all the way out to get it.
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some randoms before showering

I have got a friend. Her gf is working in Perth. She flies there every opportunity she can to visit her gf. So fun to fly there every other month.. But so expensive lor..

Anywayz.....

I have 2 friends, a couple. One is speaking a bit like the other already, which isn't that bad since it's cute.

I have 2 friends, good friends. One is speaking in the same manner as the other. This is not too good, because she seems to catch on another's way of speaking, with that trace of scolding and nit-picking now and then.

I have 2 friends, another couple. Also one speaking in the same manner as the other. Not good too. One passed on a sarcastic sense of humour to the other.

I learnt..how important it is to be in the CONSTANT company of people who uses words of love rather than criticisms, how important it is not to hang out too much and too regularly with those with a sharp tongue unless one is aware and strong enough to resist the influence. Sometimes, the influence is just so subtle.. so very subtle..

I am getting sleepy. Am supposed to keep awake for an online date with the SH. She's in China. THe workout is great, dinner fabulous. Yum. More in the next post. Showering first.
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TGIF!

Did I ever mention? Hershey's Cookies and Cream Chocolate rawks! :) I think the taste of it is quite equivalent to an orgasimic experience. The last time I said that about food, I was trying the vanilla dip @ Equinox.. Heaven.. :)

So! I was placed in a compromising position just now. It was raining so very heavily and I decided to park at the car park just below my block instead of the one opposite the road where the season parking is bought. My first instinct was not to display any coupons. Almost immediately, I felt guilty thinking that way. Then I asked myself why I felt guilty, and whether I was being too legalistic. Afterall, the governemnt is taking our money and the amount they are taking may be too much etc etc. I was trying to rationalise as much as I could.

It wasnt' so much the $1.50 that caused me to have this conversation in my mind. I was trying to work out my convictions. THe bible is kinda clear about respecting the authorities unless it's teaching something contrary to what Jesus will do. So since the authorities made it necessary to display parking coupons, breaking it constitutes cheating. And why do I have to cheat? Do I really hold the value of money so dear? It's kinda dying to self. What causes pain reflects on how much something means to me.. So displaying coupons is the right thing to do. I shall continue to do the right thing.

Aiya. Can't explain very well. I need to rush. To the gym! Yahoo! Went to the gym Monday, Wednesday, badminton on Thursday. This is good!
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Good reminder!

Whoever covers an offense seeks love,
but he who repeats a matter separates close friends

Proverbs 17:9
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so glad it's Thursday

it's so good to be home, truly. home from work. Just to take a reprieve before expending some calories at badminton tonight.

I want to write more but I am just too tired. Shall spend a few moments with the Lord first.

Jesus, what a beautiful name!
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Reading Pastor Ed's book since Phuket

He always has a way with the way he uses words. Once again, I am impressed with how he has framed his insights. I guess what's really admirable is that I have never heard or seen him do or say anything contrary to what he preaches. To me, that is the mark of a fine leader; someone who is able to walk the talk.

What I have learnt from him? To be able to see two sides of the coin, to be able to know that for most questions, there is both a yes and no response; that for most situations, there is both a maybe and maybe not explanation. I pray for the discerning wisdom of balance to respond to life's questions and challenges.

Being diplomatic or "sitting on the fence" on certain issues, I believe, helps more than harms, unless it contradicts the very CORE beliefs and values that denies the Lordship and sovereignty of God. I always try to adopt the wait and see approach. THat is equivalent to being quick to love, slow to anger and not to judge attitude, isn't it? Not my ego but His name which is most important. I don't have to be right, but He will be right eventually.

There are other more important things to be bothered about anyway.

I like these so far:

- The "anointing" may enlarge our capacities, but it is the anguish that deepens our character. A theology that cannot survive the onslaught of anguish is worthless.

- Ask any christian why Christ came to earth, and the most common answer given is,"He came to die on the cross for our sins." This is true but inadequate. While it is true that Christ came to earth to die for our sins, it is more significant to understand that Christ came, first and foremost , to glorify God, not to gratify man.

Pastor Edmund, Growing Deep in God
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Where is Wisdom?

On the heights beside the way,
at the crossroads she takes her stand;
beside the gates in front of the town,
at the entrance of the portals she cries aloud

Prov 8:2-3
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Late night post

I got my sotong balls. But no Strawberry cheesecake ice-cream. I think we are having that tomorrow @ CG. Heh. Yummy.

I am watching this water documentary titled FLOW on the other laptop while blogging. It is heart-wrenching to see how desperate the people in developing countries are in need of water. THey queue up just to wait for the tap to start dripping. How we take these basic things for granted over here. I am very proud of the SH for her heart for this cause, for what she is doing at work.

And I am so appreciative that I live in Singapore.

Not the arrow, nor the hammer but the lightning bolt.
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Dear Heavenly Father..

I would like to have sotong balls and Ben and Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake ice-cream later today. Is that okay?
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The Sunday

So we decided to go to Covenant @ Woodlands because of the subsequent appointments. The SH likes Covenant @ Woodlands because it felt more at home. I am more comfortable at Covenant @ BPJ because I spent 7 of my christian years there. But I feel most comfortable at FCC. Heh. Either Covenant is okay for me.

My DG member and her husband were leading worship. Honestly, while I was mulling over church last night, I was going to tell the SH that I really prefer worshipping @ FCC because I felt at home. I could worship without any restrain and much distractions, there weren't other thoughts aside from 100 % attention on God most of the time. I was about to tell her that I would like to attend FCC after Covenant most Sundays because I would like to go to church not just to get head knowledge, but to be transformed. And worship does a lot of that for me.

When the sermon started, I had the feeling that it was more like a seminar than a sermon. But at the end of the whole service, I knew God had spoken. Thoughts were running through my head and they were in regards to some stuff that had been bothering me for the past week. That is the way this works for me; though God speaks sometimes directly through the sermon, it is the work of the Holy Spirit who pieces everything together to give insights and revelations that inspires. And when there is inspiration from God, action easily follows.

Spent some time with the SH having brunch, sharing about the service's revelations in relation to our lives before we headed off for our own programmes (to the same place though). It was 2 sessions of catch up for me over awesome dim sum and tea. I then had some shopping time with the sister. We were supposed to shop for a dress for this Wed's wedding but that wasn't successful. I was exhausted by the time the day was over. Thank God I don't have to wake up that early tomorrow.

Did some work. Chatted. Read. Blogged. Now sleep. :)
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I am so hungry now...

but it's midnight.. I prolly should just wait for breakfast.
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It is uncanny

I thought about G yesterday. I was driving and made a mental note to text her after. But I forgot. While I was driving today, she again crossed my mind. It was then I knew I had to contact her. I stopped driving, took out my mobile phone and saw that she texted me twice. We met up today and it was a good time of sharing. When the spirit leads, follow his leading. Praying to be filled with the Holy Spirit and to be alert to His prompting. Like immediately lor.
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a yay weekend so far

SH came back! yay!
Vodka Limited Rock Edition! Yay! Yay!
Lots of catching up! Yay! Yay!
Read Proverbs together! Yay!
Prayed together! Yay!
hugs, kisses, cuddles aplenty! yay!
subway steak cheese! yay!
cold storage shopping! yay!
Balestier Bak Ku Teh! Yay!
Express Pedi! yay!
Goddaughter and Godson! Yay!
met the SH again with the rest! Yay!
Wonderful home-cooked dinner! Yay!
Played the piano together! Yay! Yay! Yay!
Great fellowship! Yay!
Old Maid! Yay!
Kisses from 5 foreign lips! Yay!
Great wine! yay!
Home sweet home! yay!
Church tomorrow! Yay! Yay! Yay!
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Dear Aunt Agony

These are some questions I like to ask you:

1) Why do people break up and make up just as quickly?
2) Why do they seem like it's the end of the world when their relationship ends?
3) Why do people come to me with their problems?
4) How do I maintain my sanity while helping them with theirs?
5) How do I keep myself from a judgemental spirit when I hear things about another party?
6) Will I be able to be this strong for the rest of my life?
7) What happens when it's my turn to break down?
8) Will there be anyone around for me ?
9) Will there be shoulders for me to cry on?
10)Why do people trivalise their lives by placing their focus on only one thing in life?

I guess, I am okay most of the time. I can be strong most of the time when people come to me with their problems because I have experienced something similar and God always gives me the wisdom to handle the situations . THe only time when I am not, is when I am experiencing issues myself, and there seems not a similar sort of support. Instead, I find support in the most critical of persons, who loves me and treats me as family. Deeply critical but highly supportive of me. I appreciate that very much.

Yeh, I can be jaded at times too. Life goes on.
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badminton

and I couldn't go today because I was unwell, and I can't go next week because I will be away in Phuket. Bleah.

I miss badminton already and the company of the gals.

So quickly I am attached to people and things.
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A song for everything broken

When the sound of thunder roars
And the rain starts to fall
And you are feeling all alone
THe Lord God is here

When the earth shakes beneath
And your feet is not secure
And you feel yourself falling
The Lord God is here

The promises of God
are faithful and true
Hold fast to them
They will come to pass

He overcomes all obstacles
And makes things a little easier to bear
In the tunnel of darkness
light waits on the other side

He reigns sovereign
Over all purposes and plans
Out of it all
You, His beloved, the end product
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The beauty of the word of God

I am absolutely in awe of His promises for me. :)

Proverbs 2
Moral Benefits of Wisdom

1 My son, if you accept my words
and store up my commands within you,

2 turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding,

3 and if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,

4 and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,

5 then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God.

6 For the LORD gives wisdom,
and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

7 He holds victory in store for the upright,
he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,

8 for he guards the course of the just
and protects the way of his faithful ones.

9 Then you will understand what is right and just
and fair—every good path.

10 For wisdom will enter your heart,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.

11 Discretion will protect you,
and understanding will guard you.

12 Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men,
from men whose words are perverse,

13 who leave the straight paths
to walk in dark ways,

14 who delight in doing wrong
and rejoice in the perverseness of evil,

15 whose paths are crooked
and who are devious in their ways.

16 It will save you also from the adulteress,
from the wayward wife with her seductive words,

17 who has left the partner of her youth
and ignored the covenant she made before God. [a]

18 For her house leads down to death
and her paths to the spirits of the dead.

19 None who go to her return
or attain the paths of life.

20 Thus you will walk in the ways of good men
and keep to the paths of the righteous.

21 For the upright will live in the land,
and the blameless will remain in it;

22 but the wicked will be cut off from the land,
and the unfaithful will be torn from it.
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A piece of good news

My part time teaching scheme is confirmed confirmed. They sent the letter directly to me, with the attachment on what part time teaching entails. Looking forward to that next year. God is good and faithful.
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Regarding Warfare

I was quite upset today. So I binged eat. Not to that severity that it would be considered as clinical binge eating. But I was full enough that I need not have dinner. Popped a flu pill at 4ish, showered and went to bed from 5p.m. till 9p.m. Woke up to Singapore Idol, a cup of honey and a handful of grapes. Here I am, back in bed, waiting for the SH to log on so I can rant about these 2 days to her. It's hard when she's away because I don't get to hear from her much. I feel ready to go to bed again. That is good because I have to be at work tomorrow.
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Teachers Day

P said cannot give gifts. Kids gave other stuff. Big vanguard sheet of appreciation from one of the groups in my class. Another drawing paper of appreciation from 2 students and a few cards. The kids in my class are very obedient. I can't say the same for others. It was from my PE class I received red pens, nice lil chocolates (almond rocas, toberone, hershey's kisses, and nestle cookies and cream) and chocolate cake. It was from the PSG (Parent Support Group) I received a yummy butter muffin, sweets and Milo Chocolate.

The mini-concert was less than impressive, but the beauty of it is to see the Primary One performers being able to be disciplined enough to even TRY to perform a dance on stage. That was touching and showed the hard work that has been put in to put up a decent performance. The simplicity in the performances. That much, I appreciate. Other than that, I was suffering at the back of the hall; sneezing non-stop into my already crumpled and wet piece of tissue, trying to manage my collection of cards, vanguard sheet, drawing paper, along with the stack of exam papers I had just gone through with my pupils before the concert, a single uncapped red pen and the huge cup of green tea, all with two hands and a small space under my chair. That was uncomfortable. And that happened during my hour long free period, which I would appreciate having to do my own stuff.

Ah well. THe best part of Teachers Day must be the break yesterday. Oh, I must mention that 20 over ex students came back to see me. That was a nice reunion. :) Back to work tomorrow, then Friday, then I am going to chill for the next week.
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It must be warfare

Please pray.
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cardio combat

was not bad. I didn't think it was that difficult, but I wasn't able to go @ 100% because of my fitness level. I can teach cardio combat too! Not difficult. Done it @ work before. I just need to work on my fitness and look a bit fitter. Heh.

So... I didn't know how much of my muscles were used till this morning. My arms and abs are aching. But as usual, it feels gooooood....

My dinner was 8 sotong balls. One was eaten by R and the other was eaten by Y. Very yummy. It's better to buy up than ask for delivery. THe price is nearly doubled and for goodness sake, they are just opposite the road from BB. I realised that thanks to their orange uniform.:)

Buy from shop : $6 for 10 sotong balls
Delivery: $11 for 10 sotong balls.

It was wonderful evening of catch up and sharing with a few peeps over a drink @ BB. Wish it was Teachers Day every other week. :)
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%^&*()(*&^%$#$%^&*-

No. Not vulgarities. In fact, it was a great weekend.

Meeting up with the Ezer ladies was awesome. Getting better each time, thanks to SL's facilitation and new additions to the CG. Heavy but goooooood.

My ex student and his 2 friends removed the drum set from under my bed. He forgot the seat but took 2 pairs of drum sticks!!! I told him I needed one pair back, that he can bring a pair back for me when he comes back for the seat. !!!!

I figured out how to go about playing the bass on the classical guitar and that made me very pleased indeed. *beams* SH was playing the chords and I played the bass. So fun.. So many things to do together. I like!

So.... I ate my first 4 yolk mooncake. The yolks are all gone. I shall finish the rest of the mooncake in the next few days. It is very yummy but so expensive! $11 each! They are having a discount for 2 yolk mooncakes though.. $26 for 4. That's quite cheap. Mei Zhen Xiang. Good.

Witnessed J's baptism today. Was a lil touched by the act of declaring that she belongs to Jesus.

I couldn't get the 2 guitar stand. Yamaha only sells the 1 guitar stand. But I changed the broken string today. So I have 4 fully functional guitars now. 2 classical, 1 folk and 1 semi-acoustic.

I learnt the 7th Chords and the Major 7th chords today. From A to G. Yipee!

It is going to be a wonderful day tomorrow because TUesday is a holiholiholiholiday!

My room looks fabulous now.
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