Just read the article that was posted on Fridae and this was the headline:
The Singapore Catholic Church says it does not support the repeal of laws that criminalise gay sex acts, and “persons with homosexual tendencies (orientation)… should refrain from irresponsible sexual acts.”
two words/phrases noted were "should" instead of "must" and "refrain from irresponsible sexual acts" as opposed to "refrain from sexual acts"
They further gave examples in these exact words: "that it does not mean that if one is heterosexual, he or she can express this irresponsibly in any way he or she wants. Similarly the Church does not condemn persons with homosexual tendencies (orientation) but asks that they like anyone should refrain from irresponsible sexual acts."
The feel I get from the response is that they are trying their best to give a balanced point of view, and if what I perceive is true, then I applaud them for trying. Could that mean then, that the above statement could imply that responsible sexual acts are okay? Who decides what is responsible and what is not? What is the benchmark we should set our standards against? Did the bible define irresponsible and responsible sexual acts? The need for an absolute truth is so important, isn't it?
Maybe that's why others perceive being gay as being promiscuous? Instead of waiting to be sure that a couple is ready to be with each other for life and then sleep together, couples decide that they will work at the commitment to spend their lives together because they had slept together, either because they feel responsible or they feel more attached to each other after being intimate. which are not bad things, but those might not make for a strong foundation for a lifelong relationship.
I am not saying this doesn't happen in a heterosexual world but because we are a minority doing something supposedly different and supposedly wrong brings us into the limelight, so every little thing that is wrong is highlighted so that it is more apparent that being gay is wrong.
Honestly, I think that if the heterosexual world (especially that world of christians) have premarital sex as quickly as couples who are gay, the whole world will be in chaos. From my current myopic point of view, I thank God that the proportion of heterosexuals is much greater for the health and growth of the nation.
Question: How many gay dating couples actually wait for at least a year before they sleep together? I have never waited that long honestly. I find it extremely difficult to wait if the person I am attracted to is also attracted to me. I am not proud to admit this given the "strong" christian values that I keep wanting to adhere to. I question my authenticity as a christian many times.
So do they sleep together too quickly because they have too high a testosterone? Or that they won't get pregnant or they won't be able to make their partners pregnant? Is it the fear of loss of that someone special or the fear that that special moment will pass ?
Of late, I realised the importance of waiting. All the books I used to read (when I was a younger christian dreaming of the perfect marriage) came to life. And it's true, that when someone is so important to another, and they know they will one day spend the rest of their lives together, they will take their time. Since they have a lifetime together, why do they want to rush?
Though I am not chaste as I want to be, I really do believe that it's such a sweet thing to wait till 2 persons make the commitment to want to spend their lives together before they sleep with each other, and not because their emotions and sex drive drives them, but rather they know that they want to make that commitment to spend the rest of their lives together.
Is it possible that christian gay couples uphold the integrity of what God intends for a lifelong relationship and date the proper way so that we can be blameless? Then truly, the only issue the "mainstream" christians have against the gay christians would be the 6 passages in the bible?
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Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
retreat?
fraser's hill is too far and too much of a hassle to go. I reckon it will be expensive too.
anyone wants to have a retreat(personal retreat) to KL leaving on Sun 25th Jan, returning on Tuesday, 27th Jan? Just to get away from the noise and distractions in Singapore, just catching up on your reading etc?
5 hours coach up to decompress, then 2 days of energizing and refreshing, then another 5 hours back, all energized! *big grin*
Sounds good?
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anyone wants to have a retreat(personal retreat) to KL leaving on Sun 25th Jan, returning on Tuesday, 27th Jan? Just to get away from the noise and distractions in Singapore, just catching up on your reading etc?
5 hours coach up to decompress, then 2 days of energizing and refreshing, then another 5 hours back, all energized! *big grin*
Sounds good?
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woohoo!
I finished reading the book I bought yesterday and gained much from it. It is a new book written by Pastor Edmund called Mentoring Paradigms, his reflections on mentoring, leadership and discipleship.
I was troubled by 3 things since last night and was praying to God for peace and for Him to speak into my life. I didn't quite expect to get anything from this type of mentoring book given the type of content expected, yet I didn't want to read the bible until I finish the book. When I reached the last chapter of the book, this was what was written in the second last paragraph : Whatever our anxious thoughts are- Trust in Him. Whatever our troubled soul holds back- release to Him. God is faithfully faithful. Always.
That was really comforting to me. I know of people who are troubled too..I want to encourage you to release your troubles and worries to the Lord. He is faithfully faithful. Always.
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I was troubled by 3 things since last night and was praying to God for peace and for Him to speak into my life. I didn't quite expect to get anything from this type of mentoring book given the type of content expected, yet I didn't want to read the bible until I finish the book. When I reached the last chapter of the book, this was what was written in the second last paragraph : Whatever our anxious thoughts are- Trust in Him. Whatever our troubled soul holds back- release to Him. God is faithfully faithful. Always.
That was really comforting to me. I know of people who are troubled too..I want to encourage you to release your troubles and worries to the Lord. He is faithfully faithful. Always.
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A Blue-Bar Person is someone who.....
focuses on the inner life as opposed to focusing on externals
values authenticity as opposed to valuing accomplishments
values growth and learning as opposed to valuing performance and results
puts character first as opposed to putting competence first
does good as an outflow of being good as opposed to doing good with the aim of looking good
esteems substance as opposed to status and stature
genuinely celebrates others as opposed to being competitive and boastful
is self-effacing as opposed to craving for attention/approval
has a quiet confidence/security as opposed to being insecure without the limelight
is steady and calm as opposed to being stressed and flustered
responds to criticisms as opposed to reacting to criticism
empowers others as opposed to not being able to let go of control
is rested in spirit as opposed to being restless in spirit
Depth: Inward security as opposed to Display: outward show
Discipleship way of God as opposed to the default way of the world
I pray to be more of the Blue-Bar person and less of the Red-Bar person!!
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values authenticity as opposed to valuing accomplishments
values growth and learning as opposed to valuing performance and results
puts character first as opposed to putting competence first
does good as an outflow of being good as opposed to doing good with the aim of looking good
esteems substance as opposed to status and stature
genuinely celebrates others as opposed to being competitive and boastful
is self-effacing as opposed to craving for attention/approval
has a quiet confidence/security as opposed to being insecure without the limelight
is steady and calm as opposed to being stressed and flustered
responds to criticisms as opposed to reacting to criticism
empowers others as opposed to not being able to let go of control
is rested in spirit as opposed to being restless in spirit
Depth: Inward security as opposed to Display: outward show
Discipleship way of God as opposed to the default way of the world
I pray to be more of the Blue-Bar person and less of the Red-Bar person!!
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Sunday, December 28, 2008
warrau
in today's papers, under the HOT BODS section, there was this lady who was featured. She looked toned for a 35 year old, but check out what she has to do to get that body.
-she plays tennis and water ski
-she hits the gym nearly every morning
-she works out with a trainer 3 times a week, focusing on cardio and strength training.
-for breaky, she takes a glass of water, then coffee and milk.
-for lunch and dinner, she takes low=carb meals.
-she snacks on almonds and cashew nuts.
-she avoids gravy and sweetened drinks.
I rather be fat lor... I don't mind exercising everyday, but her food consumption is so measly.... i like snacking on chocolates and nachos lor, and I like curry, 7-up, pasta, potato, noodles.
cheers to the gift of good food. Burps.
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-she plays tennis and water ski
-she hits the gym nearly every morning
-she works out with a trainer 3 times a week, focusing on cardio and strength training.
-for breaky, she takes a glass of water, then coffee and milk.
-for lunch and dinner, she takes low=carb meals.
-she snacks on almonds and cashew nuts.
-she avoids gravy and sweetened drinks.
I rather be fat lor... I don't mind exercising everyday, but her food consumption is so measly.... i like snacking on chocolates and nachos lor, and I like curry, 7-up, pasta, potato, noodles.
cheers to the gift of good food. Burps.
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God's surpassing strength is made perfect in our weakness.
Moses spent forty years thinking he was somebody. He spent the next forty years learning he was nobody. He spent the last forty years discovering what God can do with a nobody. - D.L Moody
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A great song
Jesus Anointed at Bethany
Now when Jesus was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, a woman came up to him with an alabaster flask of very expensive ointment, and she poured it on his head as he reclined at the table. And when the disciples saw it, they were indignant, saying, “Why this waste? For this could have been sold for a large sum and given to the poor.” But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, “Why do you trouble the woman? For she has done a beautiful thing to me. For you always have the poor with you, but you will not always have me. In pouring this ointment on my body, she has done it to prepare me for burial. Truly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will also be told in memory of her.”
Matthew 26:6-13 (ESV)
This song I believe is inspired by the reading of this passage. I found it lovely. It brings about an image of submission to Jesus, to use all that we have and surrender it at the foot of the Jesus, and he returns us with manifold blessings, the greatest blessing of all, His presence.
http://www.imeem.com/perfreclusado/music/ZacZZHD-/christ_for_d_nations_institute_alabaster_jar/
Alabaster Jar - CFN
This alabaster jar
Is all i have of worth
I break it at your feet, lord
It's less than you deserve
You're far more beautiful
More precious than the oil
The sum of my desires
And the fullness of my joy!
Prechorus:
Like you spilled your blood,
I spill my heart as an offering
To my king
Chorus:
Here i am, take me
As an offering
Here i am, giving every heartbeat
For your glory take me
The time that i have left
Is all i have of worth
I lay it at your feet, lord
It's less than you deserve
And though i've little strength
And though my days are few,
You gave your life for me
So, i will live my life for you
Worthy, worthy
You are worthy
Worthy is the lord
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Now when Jesus was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, a woman came up to him with an alabaster flask of very expensive ointment, and she poured it on his head as he reclined at the table. And when the disciples saw it, they were indignant, saying, “Why this waste? For this could have been sold for a large sum and given to the poor.” But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, “Why do you trouble the woman? For she has done a beautiful thing to me. For you always have the poor with you, but you will not always have me. In pouring this ointment on my body, she has done it to prepare me for burial. Truly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will also be told in memory of her.”
Matthew 26:6-13 (ESV)
This song I believe is inspired by the reading of this passage. I found it lovely. It brings about an image of submission to Jesus, to use all that we have and surrender it at the foot of the Jesus, and he returns us with manifold blessings, the greatest blessing of all, His presence.
http://www.imeem.com/perfreclusado/music/ZacZZHD-/christ_for_d_nations_institute_alabaster_jar/
Alabaster Jar - CFN
This alabaster jar
Is all i have of worth
I break it at your feet, lord
It's less than you deserve
You're far more beautiful
More precious than the oil
The sum of my desires
And the fullness of my joy!
Prechorus:
Like you spilled your blood,
I spill my heart as an offering
To my king
Chorus:
Here i am, take me
As an offering
Here i am, giving every heartbeat
For your glory take me
The time that i have left
Is all i have of worth
I lay it at your feet, lord
It's less than you deserve
And though i've little strength
And though my days are few,
You gave your life for me
So, i will live my life for you
Worthy, worthy
You are worthy
Worthy is the lord
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Gaze upon the Lord, not merely glance at Him.
gaze /geɪz/
verb, gazed, gaz⋅ing, noun
–verb (used without object) 1. to look steadily and intently, as with great curiosity, interest, pleasure, or wonder.
That was my take home message from Covenant. I remember how much richness gazing upon the beauty of the Lord brought. I really felt like the plant described in Pslam 1, a plant by streams of water which yields its fruit in season, and whose leaf does not wither, whatever it does prosper.. I guess I am guilty spending much of my time doing many things, failing to spend time in solitude drawing from God. The disciplne of Solitude is what i need, deliberately taking time to be alone with Him.
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gaze /geɪz/
verb, gazed, gaz⋅ing, noun
–verb (used without object) 1. to look steadily and intently, as with great curiosity, interest, pleasure, or wonder.
That was my take home message from Covenant. I remember how much richness gazing upon the beauty of the Lord brought. I really felt like the plant described in Pslam 1, a plant by streams of water which yields its fruit in season, and whose leaf does not wither, whatever it does prosper.. I guess I am guilty spending much of my time doing many things, failing to spend time in solitude drawing from God. The disciplne of Solitude is what i need, deliberately taking time to be alone with Him.
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Saturday, December 27, 2008
Yes Man
Watching Yes Man sort of summed up my entire holiday in Australia and China. Being in these 2 places with friends cause me to experience many first times I wouldn't have experienced if I was travelling alone or with my partner. I had to go beyond my comfort zone and say yes to certain activities. And it has been good.
1) Taking a camel ride through the forest
2) Kayaking to islands to watch seals and penguins
3) Being driven when I am in the car boot
4) Trekking up a very high mountain - Frenchmen's Peak
5) Seen roadkill up close (50cm away)
6) Travel with PLU group
7) Walking in the dark @ King's Park
8) Swimming @ Lucky Bay in Esperance
9) Changing accommodation 9 times in 14 days
10) Climbing up and walking the top of Wave Rock
11) Attending church in Perth
12) Riding on a motorbike for more than 1 minute with mountains in the background with 2 other persons
13) Cycling on double bike on main roads for an hour and a half.
14) Sitting in a goods vehicle (the china type)
On another note. 24 days of being away from Singapore actually does some good in these areas
1) I moisturise my skin every night
2) I take extended baths almost every night
3) I sleep before midnight almost every night
4) I spend more time reading
5) I spend quality time with God
6) Not sms-ing incessantly
7) Not being on the internet
8) Not having to pack my timetable with meet ups and rush from one place to another.
Yes. I am feeling a bit drained from the meet ups and gatherings though not all meet ups drained me, only those where I can't be myself. I have 2 more tonight. Looking forward to Ezer meeting.
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1) Taking a camel ride through the forest
2) Kayaking to islands to watch seals and penguins
3) Being driven when I am in the car boot
4) Trekking up a very high mountain - Frenchmen's Peak
5) Seen roadkill up close (50cm away)
6) Travel with PLU group
7) Walking in the dark @ King's Park
8) Swimming @ Lucky Bay in Esperance
9) Changing accommodation 9 times in 14 days
10) Climbing up and walking the top of Wave Rock
11) Attending church in Perth
12) Riding on a motorbike for more than 1 minute with mountains in the background with 2 other persons
13) Cycling on double bike on main roads for an hour and a half.
14) Sitting in a goods vehicle (the china type)
On another note. 24 days of being away from Singapore actually does some good in these areas
1) I moisturise my skin every night
2) I take extended baths almost every night
3) I sleep before midnight almost every night
4) I spend more time reading
5) I spend quality time with God
6) Not sms-ing incessantly
7) Not being on the internet
8) Not having to pack my timetable with meet ups and rush from one place to another.
Yes. I am feeling a bit drained from the meet ups and gatherings though not all meet ups drained me, only those where I can't be myself. I have 2 more tonight. Looking forward to Ezer meeting.
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the gifts from christmas
I have received some very thoughtful gifts this Christmas. I am appreciative because I see the heart behind the choice of the gifts. It made me very grateful that God has blessed me with the friendship of these special friends. A friend has not failed to give me guide books and travel books for the past 3 birthdays and christmasses. Now, she has resigned to just a sigh when she hears about my trips to Australia. Another friend got me a bottle of fragrance that I have been using since 1997 which can only be gotten from 3 parts of the world. Yet another friend got me a Koala stuff toy before I left for my Australia trip. Another friend gave me something blingy because she knows that's something that I like. All the other people who took the effort and time to shop for gifts and write sweet notes of appreciation really cause me to give thanks. Who am I to deserve so much? I can only pray that God will use me to contribute to their lives in a special way.
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Friday, December 26, 2008
PMSsing post
I was editing one of my post that I left unfinished yesterday. I gave up after a while because I thought the entry was very boring and heavy and it made me irritated with myself for writing boring stuff. I reckon I am PMSsing and having no students to be irritated with, I felt irritated with myself.
Anywayz, the time last night with the Aussie group of friends I used to spend 2 years of my life with was good, much more intimate sharing than our past meetings. I figured that it was because I am not attached now and have nothing to hide. It helped that I didn't have to rush off to meet anyone and stayed on till 11ish to talk and joke.
I had a Hoegarden and a flute and a half of VCP Champagne, my favourite. There were 6 toddlers around (age range from 1 to 2 year olds). I am so thankful I don't have a kid lorrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. But it was hilarious how one 2 year old boy was so affectionate that he kept wanting to hug and kiss another 2 year old boy (gay tendencies??). But being a kid, he could not control the strength of his hugs and ended up charging at the other boy, it didn't help that both of them got big tummies so they end up not hugging properly, falling over each other. It was so funny to watch. But I still don't want kids, for now. Heh.
I miss Ozzieland cereal breakfast @ the hostel........... Off to NTUC I go!
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Anywayz, the time last night with the Aussie group of friends I used to spend 2 years of my life with was good, much more intimate sharing than our past meetings. I figured that it was because I am not attached now and have nothing to hide. It helped that I didn't have to rush off to meet anyone and stayed on till 11ish to talk and joke.
I had a Hoegarden and a flute and a half of VCP Champagne, my favourite. There were 6 toddlers around (age range from 1 to 2 year olds). I am so thankful I don't have a kid lorrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. But it was hilarious how one 2 year old boy was so affectionate that he kept wanting to hug and kiss another 2 year old boy (gay tendencies??). But being a kid, he could not control the strength of his hugs and ended up charging at the other boy, it didn't help that both of them got big tummies so they end up not hugging properly, falling over each other. It was so funny to watch. But I still don't want kids, for now. Heh.
I miss Ozzieland cereal breakfast @ the hostel........... Off to NTUC I go!
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Thursday, December 25, 2008
Spiritual Warfare
I think the team is experiencing some sort of warfare after the trip. During the trip, we were blessed with a coverage of intentional prayer support from prayer warriors(friends, cg members, loved ones) with updates of our trip regularly sent out to the prayer warriors.
Since we came back, one reported feeling very exhausted and on the verge of falling sick, another's cough became a lot worse and she even vomitted while coughing, another shared about a very heavy spirit laid upon her heart and I was sniffing and sneezing the whole of yesterday, signs of a cold.
Spiritual warfare is real. Pray ceaselessly peeps. When we are doing God's work, Satan works hard too.
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Since we came back, one reported feeling very exhausted and on the verge of falling sick, another's cough became a lot worse and she even vomitted while coughing, another shared about a very heavy spirit laid upon her heart and I was sniffing and sneezing the whole of yesterday, signs of a cold.
Spiritual warfare is real. Pray ceaselessly peeps. When we are doing God's work, Satan works hard too.
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With a thankful heart
I am thankful, that from the moment I received Jesus into my life in 1998 Nov, that Christmas is no longer just another public holiday with santas, christmas trees and presents(although all that is nice too:)). I am thankful as I look back and see how his love for me is steadfast and unchanging from the way he has worked in my life through the past 10 years. Truly, Jesus is alive and this season of celebration is all about him. I am reminded how thankful I am for the gift of eternal salvation, the most expensive sacrifice, yet free for us to receive; the message of the gospel so easy to understand, yet difficult to comprehend. I am truly thankful for Jesus, and the work he has done, is doing and will continue do in my life till the day he comes back.
Merry Christmas to one and all. I am praying that Jesus will continue to do a good work in our lives for his glory and purpose as we allow him to take the lead and take control.
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Merry Christmas to one and all. I am praying that Jesus will continue to do a good work in our lives for his glory and purpose as we allow him to take the lead and take control.
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Wednesday, December 24, 2008
I am hungry
I felt frustrated buying gifts for 1=2 year olds. Felt handicapped. THe best thing is.. i left the shop to walk around while waiting for them to wrap the 3 gifts. I just went off for the gathering without returning to the shop. BIG SIGH. I must be so distracted dunoo thinking about wat! Now I got to go back to Tanglin Mall tomorrow to pick up the stuff. Yawn...
checking out at 411.
It was nice seeing such a big group today. Real nice. Too bad WL could not be with us.. Come back soon!
ANd ya, I think I might not have eaten enough.
signing off 414a.m.
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checking out at 411.
It was nice seeing such a big group today. Real nice. Too bad WL could not be with us.. Come back soon!
ANd ya, I think I might not have eaten enough.
signing off 414a.m.
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Monday, December 22, 2008
warm up
*turns on the engine* VROOM VROOM! :)
I miss writing. I really do.
I was really glad when the plane landed. It was funny. Much as i wasn't anxious about the flight and that I know I am under God's protection, I did hold back making plans/responding to text messages asking for confirmation of presence @ celebrations because things felt uncertain when I was in C. It seemed like James 4:13-15 was speaking :
Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit" yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that."
Such is the brevity of life. I decided to just place all the plans at the back of my mind and only started replying to the messages only after I touched down. Not that I did not enjoy the company of my DG mates. They had been great and I had been very encouraged by how they gave of themselves throughout the trip. I have much to learn from them in terms of their dedication to serve the Lord and one another. It's truly by God's grace that 6 women who travelled together for 10 days doing really intense work ended up as better friends as before.
For the longest time since I accepted Jesus into my life, I never had the desire to go on M trips. Being in C, visiting the villages, interacting with the children, sensing their joy, enthusiasm and hunger to learn everything we have to teach them really touched me and warmed my heart. Truly, for once, I understood what unreached people groups mean; they stay about an hour and a half up the mountains, making them very inaccessible to people. It cost 50SGD dollars for a return trip (bumpy, narrow roads and all). I also understand now why people keep returning to their adopted groups. Because I feel that I want to go back again, particularly to that 1 village with those 8 kids.
I was touched and almost near to tears on the 1st day of ministry, when a 13 year old girl gave thanks for the food, praying so sincerely, thanking God for the food because it is Him who gave the food to us. Being in a poor village, and having them slaughter one of the few chickens for us made the prayer more real, that truly, God has given the food to us.
Thank you all who prayed. We were truly protected in more ways than one. When we work, we work, when we pray, God works, and indeed, it was very evident how He worked during this trip. All glory to God. 44 children/teens and 6 adults PRCed. I really felt very privileged to be serving with this team and being used as a vessel by God because truly, God could have done all of these without us. He didn't need us to "help". He only wanted us to grow in faith and character and learn to rely on His grace through the different experiences.
One thing I learnt about God that touched me also is that He is a God with a nurturing heart. He yearns for us to grow from spiritual babes to adults. He is our great and awesome heavenly Father!
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I miss writing. I really do.
I was really glad when the plane landed. It was funny. Much as i wasn't anxious about the flight and that I know I am under God's protection, I did hold back making plans/responding to text messages asking for confirmation of presence @ celebrations because things felt uncertain when I was in C. It seemed like James 4:13-15 was speaking :
Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit" yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that."
Such is the brevity of life. I decided to just place all the plans at the back of my mind and only started replying to the messages only after I touched down. Not that I did not enjoy the company of my DG mates. They had been great and I had been very encouraged by how they gave of themselves throughout the trip. I have much to learn from them in terms of their dedication to serve the Lord and one another. It's truly by God's grace that 6 women who travelled together for 10 days doing really intense work ended up as better friends as before.
For the longest time since I accepted Jesus into my life, I never had the desire to go on M trips. Being in C, visiting the villages, interacting with the children, sensing their joy, enthusiasm and hunger to learn everything we have to teach them really touched me and warmed my heart. Truly, for once, I understood what unreached people groups mean; they stay about an hour and a half up the mountains, making them very inaccessible to people. It cost 50SGD dollars for a return trip (bumpy, narrow roads and all). I also understand now why people keep returning to their adopted groups. Because I feel that I want to go back again, particularly to that 1 village with those 8 kids.
I was touched and almost near to tears on the 1st day of ministry, when a 13 year old girl gave thanks for the food, praying so sincerely, thanking God for the food because it is Him who gave the food to us. Being in a poor village, and having them slaughter one of the few chickens for us made the prayer more real, that truly, God has given the food to us.
Thank you all who prayed. We were truly protected in more ways than one. When we work, we work, when we pray, God works, and indeed, it was very evident how He worked during this trip. All glory to God. 44 children/teens and 6 adults PRCed. I really felt very privileged to be serving with this team and being used as a vessel by God because truly, God could have done all of these without us. He didn't need us to "help". He only wanted us to grow in faith and character and learn to rely on His grace through the different experiences.
One thing I learnt about God that touched me also is that He is a God with a nurturing heart. He yearns for us to grow from spiritual babes to adults. He is our great and awesome heavenly Father!
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Thursday, December 11, 2008
saying hi plus a bit more
after a hiatus of not blogging for 2 weeks, I decided to share a piece of thanksgiving in the midst of practising for worship.
A replied to the email I sent, and it was all good. She seemed grateful to me for being honest with her and she clarified certain matters. I am very thankful that all turned out well. And I am looking forward to taking our friendship up to a higher level. One thing that she brought up was the reason why we drifted apart. She said that I seemed to be very busy with my personal matters to spend time with her. I guess I would have to make a decision to share more about what I do with my time, and that might just mean coming out to her. At least she knows that the time I spent is not on fun and frivolous things over spending time with her.. Pray for wisdom and God's perfect timing. I have learnt that saying the right things at the wrong time is almost the same as saying the wrong things.
After the trip, I do feel more rested. Someone asked me, why Australia again and again. I guess it is the air, the humidity or the lack of it, the familarity; the way the shops are structured and built in every suburb, the long drives down isolated highways surrounded by the vast amount of empty land, the horses, lambs, cows along the way, the occasional roadkill which make me give a squeal nearly everytime ( and that amuses peeps, I dun know why), the bottleshops, the trips to the supermarkets and shopping warehouse; like I know which shops are bookshops and which shops are supermarkets and which shops are pharmacies and how David Jones and Myers are the equivalent of Robinsons and Tangs, how Woolsworth is the equivalent of NTUC and Coles the equivalent of Cold Storage, how Hungry Jack is the same as Burger King, the way the maps are drawn in the street directory, the scenery, the traffic system, just everything that reminds me about how relaxing every trip is for me.
This trip was a great one. It was a bit different because I didn't quite have a lot of alone time to myself, which is essentially the way I draw strength and refreshment through stuff like sitting alone in front of the ocean for some hours reflecting, reading, praying, worshipping. The trade off is precious though. Spending time with a group of easygoing pals, enjoying the sharing sessions, laughing @ silly things, at one another, being able to be real and authentic. It was just a beautiful and treasured experience and I would really like to do that again.
Need to pack and practise over 30 songs to play during the small group worship during M trip. The maxi cab comes @ 5.15a.m. to pick me up tomorrow. Shall blog more when I feel restless with the stuff I got to do. Ciaoz. Miss you all the gals heaps. Catch you soon.
.
A replied to the email I sent, and it was all good. She seemed grateful to me for being honest with her and she clarified certain matters. I am very thankful that all turned out well. And I am looking forward to taking our friendship up to a higher level. One thing that she brought up was the reason why we drifted apart. She said that I seemed to be very busy with my personal matters to spend time with her. I guess I would have to make a decision to share more about what I do with my time, and that might just mean coming out to her. At least she knows that the time I spent is not on fun and frivolous things over spending time with her.. Pray for wisdom and God's perfect timing. I have learnt that saying the right things at the wrong time is almost the same as saying the wrong things.
After the trip, I do feel more rested. Someone asked me, why Australia again and again. I guess it is the air, the humidity or the lack of it, the familarity; the way the shops are structured and built in every suburb, the long drives down isolated highways surrounded by the vast amount of empty land, the horses, lambs, cows along the way, the occasional roadkill which make me give a squeal nearly everytime ( and that amuses peeps, I dun know why), the bottleshops, the trips to the supermarkets and shopping warehouse; like I know which shops are bookshops and which shops are supermarkets and which shops are pharmacies and how David Jones and Myers are the equivalent of Robinsons and Tangs, how Woolsworth is the equivalent of NTUC and Coles the equivalent of Cold Storage, how Hungry Jack is the same as Burger King, the way the maps are drawn in the street directory, the scenery, the traffic system, just everything that reminds me about how relaxing every trip is for me.
This trip was a great one. It was a bit different because I didn't quite have a lot of alone time to myself, which is essentially the way I draw strength and refreshment through stuff like sitting alone in front of the ocean for some hours reflecting, reading, praying, worshipping. The trade off is precious though. Spending time with a group of easygoing pals, enjoying the sharing sessions, laughing @ silly things, at one another, being able to be real and authentic. It was just a beautiful and treasured experience and I would really like to do that again.
Need to pack and practise over 30 songs to play during the small group worship during M trip. The maxi cab comes @ 5.15a.m. to pick me up tomorrow. Shall blog more when I feel restless with the stuff I got to do. Ciaoz. Miss you all the gals heaps. Catch you soon.
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Monday, November 24, 2008
rarara
as I was going through the posts on blogspot,I wondered why I have to blog over here when majority of the entries do not speak about GLBT matters. I realised that me liking women is just a small portion of my life, but my life with the girls who are PLUs take up quite a portion of my life.
I would like to be honest about how I spend my time. It's a bit uncomfortable having to be so careful with what I say in front of my friends who are straight..
I was this close to coming out to a friend last night. And another one today because she asked all the right questions ( I think it's the holy spirit). I might just do it with this other friend on Wed when I meet her.
my neck is still stiff. Sigh. I ran into an old old friend just 2 days ago. I learnt that his mum does 1 hour massages for $25 for a full body and $15 for the foot. And she lives just 10 minutes away. The mum used to work @ Refresh Room at Lot 1 but got posted to town recently. She has her own customers at home too if she is free. I think I am trying that out soon.
Feeling a bit melancholic today. Prolly PMSsing.
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I would like to be honest about how I spend my time. It's a bit uncomfortable having to be so careful with what I say in front of my friends who are straight..
I was this close to coming out to a friend last night. And another one today because she asked all the right questions ( I think it's the holy spirit). I might just do it with this other friend on Wed when I meet her.
my neck is still stiff. Sigh. I ran into an old old friend just 2 days ago. I learnt that his mum does 1 hour massages for $25 for a full body and $15 for the foot. And she lives just 10 minutes away. The mum used to work @ Refresh Room at Lot 1 but got posted to town recently. She has her own customers at home too if she is free. I think I am trying that out soon.
Feeling a bit melancholic today. Prolly PMSsing.
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Sunday, November 23, 2008
real belated post
I didn't regret leaving from bowling after 1 game though I was reluctant to. The small group gathering was unexpectedly good. A friend's gay friend J is in Singapore for a holiday. He's 38, and shared some gems which were very insightful. Happily being in a monogamous relationship with his partner for 8 years made his sharing more credible.
Thought they had not thought they were each other's type, he knew within the first week that he could be with him for a long while.
He shared that what is very important is that a couple must know the essential fundamentals that they personally need in a relationship, i.e the non-negotiables. For him, it's the way finances are handled and the type of environment he wants to retire in. It sounds like very trivial issues but he says these are really important.
He was rather pragmatic about things. One thing that he said that resonated with me was what he said that people shouldn't hold on to a relationship just because they don't want to be alone. He even said that if there comes one day when his partner decides that he doesn't love him anymore, he would rather the partner go than to stay on.
we spoke about coming out, and his journey in coming out to his parents, very conservative christian parents who are elders in the church they had been worshipping at since he was young.
On another note, one of the gals was sharing about how her sister was most concerned about was her giving up God. She told her sister it's no fight between God and being in a gay relationship. i hope her gf didn't feel anything about that.
I guess that's one reason why I would really appreciate about a gf who believes in the same kind of God I believe in.. that if one day, God tells us both really clearly to let go of each other and follow Him, that regardless how much we love each other and find it very hard to let go, we would listen and follow because we both know that what is on earth is temporal but what is in heaven is eternal, that it matters to both of us to be able to see each other in eternity.
There. This was edited from about 2 months ago :P.
I kinda miss China. This is crazy.
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Thought they had not thought they were each other's type, he knew within the first week that he could be with him for a long while.
He shared that what is very important is that a couple must know the essential fundamentals that they personally need in a relationship, i.e the non-negotiables. For him, it's the way finances are handled and the type of environment he wants to retire in. It sounds like very trivial issues but he says these are really important.
He was rather pragmatic about things. One thing that he said that resonated with me was what he said that people shouldn't hold on to a relationship just because they don't want to be alone. He even said that if there comes one day when his partner decides that he doesn't love him anymore, he would rather the partner go than to stay on.
we spoke about coming out, and his journey in coming out to his parents, very conservative christian parents who are elders in the church they had been worshipping at since he was young.
On another note, one of the gals was sharing about how her sister was most concerned about was her giving up God. She told her sister it's no fight between God and being in a gay relationship. i hope her gf didn't feel anything about that.
I guess that's one reason why I would really appreciate about a gf who believes in the same kind of God I believe in.. that if one day, God tells us both really clearly to let go of each other and follow Him, that regardless how much we love each other and find it very hard to let go, we would listen and follow because we both know that what is on earth is temporal but what is in heaven is eternal, that it matters to both of us to be able to see each other in eternity.
There. This was edited from about 2 months ago :P.
I kinda miss China. This is crazy.
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A day of lessons
I made that mistake once, and I made the same mistake again. And I guess God has to knock me harder this time so I can finally learn.
I was very thankful for H, who's honest enough with me regarding what she feels about what I wrote to A. And I thank God for her honesty. Knowing that I had done something that wasn't right made me very embarrassed of course, but I thank God for her because of the manner in which she shared her opinions with me, which kinda made it easier for me to receive what she said.
1) I didn't have to make conclusions about what she did. For constructive purposes, I should have just stated how I felt about what she did or didn't do to me and how it affects me and not bring other situations non-relating to me into the picture.
I agree with that. I shouldn't have exercised my judgement on her. It might just cause her to be more defensive and not help the situation one bit.
2) I need not spell her name out and posted the letter on blogspot.
My explanation for this is that it would be good to update those who have been praying about this matter. But yep. I also agree it is not good to put this on public domain although none of those who knows her would get to read about this. Anyway, the entry has been taken down.
3) The end of the email was kinda abrupt and didn't indicate any avenue for a follow up.
Yep. I am going to follow up with another email to her to apologize with the judgement part and also to ask to speak about it if she likes.
4) I could have placed myself in her shoes and seen that the reason why she said the things she said to me was because she had too much on her plate and couldn't understand why people could do work at a slower pace and that she cared too much to not make a fuss about things.
All true. Sigh. This passed over my mind once or twice before, but I guess I was too consumed about how I felt that I couldn't have a bigger heart to accept that.
It was all too humbling for me. Today is a day of lessons for me, from the sermon in the morning, to the conversation with H about this matter, to learning the evangecube in mandarin, to learning how to play the TWISTER game for real, to learning servanthood from my DG members, to learning about the power of the holy spirit, to learning how powerful prayers are to heal and make things better, to learning how God speaks through about anywhere and anyone as long as my heart is ready to receive.
I just pray that I become a better person everyday.
.
I was very thankful for H, who's honest enough with me regarding what she feels about what I wrote to A. And I thank God for her honesty. Knowing that I had done something that wasn't right made me very embarrassed of course, but I thank God for her because of the manner in which she shared her opinions with me, which kinda made it easier for me to receive what she said.
1) I didn't have to make conclusions about what she did. For constructive purposes, I should have just stated how I felt about what she did or didn't do to me and how it affects me and not bring other situations non-relating to me into the picture.
I agree with that. I shouldn't have exercised my judgement on her. It might just cause her to be more defensive and not help the situation one bit.
2) I need not spell her name out and posted the letter on blogspot.
My explanation for this is that it would be good to update those who have been praying about this matter. But yep. I also agree it is not good to put this on public domain although none of those who knows her would get to read about this. Anyway, the entry has been taken down.
3) The end of the email was kinda abrupt and didn't indicate any avenue for a follow up.
Yep. I am going to follow up with another email to her to apologize with the judgement part and also to ask to speak about it if she likes.
4) I could have placed myself in her shoes and seen that the reason why she said the things she said to me was because she had too much on her plate and couldn't understand why people could do work at a slower pace and that she cared too much to not make a fuss about things.
All true. Sigh. This passed over my mind once or twice before, but I guess I was too consumed about how I felt that I couldn't have a bigger heart to accept that.
It was all too humbling for me. Today is a day of lessons for me, from the sermon in the morning, to the conversation with H about this matter, to learning the evangecube in mandarin, to learning how to play the TWISTER game for real, to learning servanthood from my DG members, to learning about the power of the holy spirit, to learning how powerful prayers are to heal and make things better, to learning how God speaks through about anywhere and anyone as long as my heart is ready to receive.
I just pray that I become a better person everyday.
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Friday, November 21, 2008
LALALA
wow.
The triune God; the Creator, the Redeemer, the Sanctifier.
God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
So beautiful.
wow.
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The triune God; the Creator, the Redeemer, the Sanctifier.
God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
So beautiful.
wow.
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Jonah 4 + Malachi 1
Just today, while still busying myself sorting out stuff at my new workstation, along with consolidating the Farewell Night feedback and file to hand over to the new teacher-in-charge, and lots of other stuff, I kept being reminded that I have yet translate my testimony in mandarin properly, and I have yet to learn the evangecube in mandarin too. On top of that, I got to prepare resources for teaching for the mission trip, and also plan out the worship schedule and prepare the worship songs and songsheets, all before I leave for Perth this Thursday.
I was lamenting silently about the decision of going for this mission trip because honestly, as i have shared before. Missions is not in my heart. I do not mind going for mission trips, but I just do not have that burning desire for missions. Somewhere along the line, I can't feel that same heartbeat as the Lord's.
While using the Mission 100 devotional in preparation for this Sunday's meeting, I was led to read Jonah 4, where Jonah was more concerned about justice being done than the salvation of the 120 000 peeps in Nineveh. So take the Jonah out of me and let me feel in my heart the importance of missions, that is what the Lord led me to pray, remembering ultimately, that missions is ultimately the work of God, not us, that we are privileged to be called to serve in this manner.
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I was lamenting silently about the decision of going for this mission trip because honestly, as i have shared before. Missions is not in my heart. I do not mind going for mission trips, but I just do not have that burning desire for missions. Somewhere along the line, I can't feel that same heartbeat as the Lord's.
While using the Mission 100 devotional in preparation for this Sunday's meeting, I was led to read Jonah 4, where Jonah was more concerned about justice being done than the salvation of the 120 000 peeps in Nineveh. So take the Jonah out of me and let me feel in my heart the importance of missions, that is what the Lord led me to pray, remembering ultimately, that missions is ultimately the work of God, not us, that we are privileged to be called to serve in this manner.
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Song for zee evening
Come Holy Spirit - CIty Harvest Church
Come holy spirit, fall on me now
I need your anointing, come in your power
I love you holy spirit
You are captivating my soul
and everyday I grow to love you more
I'm reaching for your heart
You hold my life in your hand
Drawing me closer
I feel your power renew
nothing compares to this place
where i can see you face to face
I worship you in spirit and in truth
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Come holy spirit, fall on me now
I need your anointing, come in your power
I love you holy spirit
You are captivating my soul
and everyday I grow to love you more
I'm reaching for your heart
You hold my life in your hand
Drawing me closer
I feel your power renew
nothing compares to this place
where i can see you face to face
I worship you in spirit and in truth
.
I like to smell nice!
the banks are really stepping up on sending blank cheques eh. I just received 2 in the mail today.
i thought my hair was too long, my sister didn't think so.
I thought I needed to touch up on the colour because my hair had grown about 2cm (which could be seen from the black part growing out from the scalp), she thought I just coloured and rebonded my hair.
Anywayz, the conclusion was that she thought my hair was pretty. LOL. But of course, she wouldn't tell me that directly. I implied that from the comments she made.
She's quite antagonistic lor. I wanted to retaliate while I was in the car with her. But thankfully worship music was on, so I just sang along instead of continuing the unpleasant conversation with her(not about the hair part).
I sent the email to A already.
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i thought my hair was too long, my sister didn't think so.
I thought I needed to touch up on the colour because my hair had grown about 2cm (which could be seen from the black part growing out from the scalp), she thought I just coloured and rebonded my hair.
Anywayz, the conclusion was that she thought my hair was pretty. LOL. But of course, she wouldn't tell me that directly. I implied that from the comments she made.
She's quite antagonistic lor. I wanted to retaliate while I was in the car with her. But thankfully worship music was on, so I just sang along instead of continuing the unpleasant conversation with her(not about the hair part).
I sent the email to A already.
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real real real randoms ...
James Bond Quantam of Solace is so boring.
I want to watch more movies.
My Reporting Officer (supervisor) paid for our popcorn (sweet only) & my root beer. So sweet.
I miss my students already.
I so regretted not buying magnets when I travelled last time. Sigh. All the magnets of the great (and expensive places) I had been to.
I really need to start practising my testimony in Mandarin. As well as the Evangecube.
We had ice wine today. P6 chers cheered and cheered for all the things in 2008. Great team to work with!
Our P6 Head of Level giving us a treat @ Equinox ( I should be letting them use my 50% off voucher, unless my other colleague offers. He signed up for Amex Card and also holds that same voucher. )
I had good peking duck crepe plus wonderful catch up over dinner. Fun.
And coincidental meet up lor. If I didn't know better, I thought i was stalked!
My stiff neck comes every morning when I wake up. Bleah.
I suffered from motion sickness today.
I officially shifted my stuff to my new workstation, and packed my stuff. My workstation is branded-new and springed-clean.
I was irritated with mum over money matters.
My sister got a parking summon,which she didn't remove from the windscreen of the car, and which I didn't see till after 15 minutes of driving.
Tomorrow will be a good day, simply because He loves me.
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I want to watch more movies.
My Reporting Officer (supervisor) paid for our popcorn (sweet only) & my root beer. So sweet.
I miss my students already.
I so regretted not buying magnets when I travelled last time. Sigh. All the magnets of the great (and expensive places) I had been to.
I really need to start practising my testimony in Mandarin. As well as the Evangecube.
We had ice wine today. P6 chers cheered and cheered for all the things in 2008. Great team to work with!
Our P6 Head of Level giving us a treat @ Equinox ( I should be letting them use my 50% off voucher, unless my other colleague offers. He signed up for Amex Card and also holds that same voucher. )
I had good peking duck crepe plus wonderful catch up over dinner. Fun.
And coincidental meet up lor. If I didn't know better, I thought i was stalked!
My stiff neck comes every morning when I wake up. Bleah.
I suffered from motion sickness today.
I officially shifted my stuff to my new workstation, and packed my stuff. My workstation is branded-new and springed-clean.
I was irritated with mum over money matters.
My sister got a parking summon,which she didn't remove from the windscreen of the car, and which I didn't see till after 15 minutes of driving.
Tomorrow will be a good day, simply because He loves me.
.
real randoms now - Berry berry good=thank God
I am hungry. Right @ this moment :)
I have no idea why I am so into chocolate these days.
my kids did well :) All of them got to go to Secondary schools. My English Class had 2As, 19Bs and 15Cs for English. NO failures! :) Berry berry good.
My tuition kid who used to score C-D for his English and Science scored As for both subjects. :)Berry berry good.
I had 5 Boost from my students only to be informed just now that Boost is being recalled. I checked. Thank God it is Boost Nuts. Not the original Boost.
When parents cried for joy because their kid passed the PSLE, I also feel like crying. Touched.
Today is a good closure to the year. Yipee. I give thanks for His grace and faithfulness in my life once again.
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I have no idea why I am so into chocolate these days.
my kids did well :) All of them got to go to Secondary schools. My English Class had 2As, 19Bs and 15Cs for English. NO failures! :) Berry berry good.
My tuition kid who used to score C-D for his English and Science scored As for both subjects. :)Berry berry good.
I had 5 Boost from my students only to be informed just now that Boost is being recalled. I checked. Thank God it is Boost Nuts. Not the original Boost.
When parents cried for joy because their kid passed the PSLE, I also feel like crying. Touched.
Today is a good closure to the year. Yipee. I give thanks for His grace and faithfulness in my life once again.
.
Ezer
me too tired to blog an essay. Some random thoughts for the past few days:
ezer leaves me deep in thoughts almost everytime, and the thoughts are not necessarily good. I am trying to figure out where God is in the midst of the discussion. I am trying to figure out what God wants me to learn through the sessions. The only thing that comes to mind right now, is that conventional christianity is no longer the in thing of this season. It is radical christianity that is, but I am not very sure, whether the discussion that goes on during ezer is beneficial or edifying to everyone/most people who attends..
I don't feel particularly edified and encouraged but I do feel the need to dig deeper into what I believe in because those "cliche" answers do not work for some of them, regardless of whether the experiences I have with God is real or life changing. And I can understand why.
Oh dear, reminds me of what Pastor preached the previous Sunday, about the need for the thorns in our lives so that they will drive us to desperation and then cause us to fix our eyes back on the cross again. Maybe He thinks I got to stop being happy and contented in His presence and get back to Earth to settle real things! :)
Aiya, I really didn't intend to write so much. I just went with the flow.
.
ezer leaves me deep in thoughts almost everytime, and the thoughts are not necessarily good. I am trying to figure out where God is in the midst of the discussion. I am trying to figure out what God wants me to learn through the sessions. The only thing that comes to mind right now, is that conventional christianity is no longer the in thing of this season. It is radical christianity that is, but I am not very sure, whether the discussion that goes on during ezer is beneficial or edifying to everyone/most people who attends..
I don't feel particularly edified and encouraged but I do feel the need to dig deeper into what I believe in because those "cliche" answers do not work for some of them, regardless of whether the experiences I have with God is real or life changing. And I can understand why.
Oh dear, reminds me of what Pastor preached the previous Sunday, about the need for the thorns in our lives so that they will drive us to desperation and then cause us to fix our eyes back on the cross again. Maybe He thinks I got to stop being happy and contented in His presence and get back to Earth to settle real things! :)
Aiya, I really didn't intend to write so much. I just went with the flow.
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Wednesday, November 19, 2008
I don't like to sound like a teacher
I really don't. I was telling my ex when we were still classmates 11 years ago, that I will never want to speak like a teacher.
While recounting to SE an unpleasant conversation between another friend and I, where I told SE the exact words my friend and I said to each other, SE asked me to stop speaking like a teacher. :( sigh.. I don't like.
Then I was chatting with another friend, before we left the conversation, she said, "yes Miss See" and "yes mam", I asked if I sounded like a teacher. She said a lil. :( I don't like. She said it's prolly occupational hazard.
I feel frustrated because I know it carries into my personal life. And I really don't like it. Already as it is, I am not as teacher as other teachers, but there's still that teachery tone.
Maybe it's not the tone, but the things that are said? I really don't know. Lord. I don't want to sound like a teacher. Help help help.
.
While recounting to SE an unpleasant conversation between another friend and I, where I told SE the exact words my friend and I said to each other, SE asked me to stop speaking like a teacher. :( sigh.. I don't like.
Then I was chatting with another friend, before we left the conversation, she said, "yes Miss See" and "yes mam", I asked if I sounded like a teacher. She said a lil. :( I don't like. She said it's prolly occupational hazard.
I feel frustrated because I know it carries into my personal life. And I really don't like it. Already as it is, I am not as teacher as other teachers, but there's still that teachery tone.
Maybe it's not the tone, but the things that are said? I really don't know. Lord. I don't want to sound like a teacher. Help help help.
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Tuesday, November 18, 2008
what i have been up to
1) Staff meeting
2) 2008 Dept review meeting (level meetings)
3) 2009 Work plan meeting (level meetings)
4) Pack and clean up my workstation and then shifting my stuff to another workstation
5) Getting info from the HE coordinator about her role
6) Preparing songs for worship
7) Stocktaking for P6 English Resources
8) Doing the Assessment and Review for Farewell Night
9) Packing, packing and more packing
10)Throwing away stuff
11)English Dept meeting
12)PE dept Meeting
13)HE dept meeting
14) Special Committee meeting
15) Vetting School Magazine Articles
16)Preparing for Mission Trip stuff
17) Learning how to share the Evangecube in Mandarin
18) Learning to share my testimony in Mandarin
We are going to play netball and volleyball as a school tomorrow. That will be followed by a movie at Lot 1. 93 tickets were bought. If someone doesn't like us teachers, they can just bomb that 1 cinema, and CPS will cease to exist for a while. heh. Team bonding time!
Thursday- PSLE results will be released and we will be busy with the admin stuff relating to that.
Friday - Continue meetings and stuff
Next week (Mon-Wed): On duty for P6 students applying for their Sec Schools.
Thursday - Ozzieland!!!!!!
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2) 2008 Dept review meeting (level meetings)
3) 2009 Work plan meeting (level meetings)
4) Pack and clean up my workstation and then shifting my stuff to another workstation
5) Getting info from the HE coordinator about her role
6) Preparing songs for worship
7) Stocktaking for P6 English Resources
8) Doing the Assessment and Review for Farewell Night
9) Packing, packing and more packing
10)Throwing away stuff
11)English Dept meeting
12)PE dept Meeting
13)HE dept meeting
14) Special Committee meeting
15) Vetting School Magazine Articles
16)Preparing for Mission Trip stuff
17) Learning how to share the Evangecube in Mandarin
18) Learning to share my testimony in Mandarin
We are going to play netball and volleyball as a school tomorrow. That will be followed by a movie at Lot 1. 93 tickets were bought. If someone doesn't like us teachers, they can just bomb that 1 cinema, and CPS will cease to exist for a while. heh. Team bonding time!
Thursday- PSLE results will be released and we will be busy with the admin stuff relating to that.
Friday - Continue meetings and stuff
Next week (Mon-Wed): On duty for P6 students applying for their Sec Schools.
Thursday - Ozzieland!!!!!!
.
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Monday, November 17, 2008
Sang in FCC before.
Beautiful Saviour - Planetshakers
http://www.imeem.com/cuteplant23/music/P0QYlpLr/planetshakers_beautiful_saviour/?rel=1
Jesus, Beautiful Saviour,
God of all Majesty,
Risen king,
Lamb of God,
Holy and righteous,
Blessed redeemer,
Bright morning star
All the heavens shout your praise,
All creation bow to worship You
How wonderful, how beautiful,
Name above every name, exalted high
How wonderful, how beautiful,
Jesus your name, name above every name, Jesus
I will sing forever, Jesus I love you, Jesus I love you
.
http://www.imeem.com/cuteplant23/music/P0QYlpLr/planetshakers_beautiful_saviour/?rel=1
Jesus, Beautiful Saviour,
God of all Majesty,
Risen king,
Lamb of God,
Holy and righteous,
Blessed redeemer,
Bright morning star
All the heavens shout your praise,
All creation bow to worship You
How wonderful, how beautiful,
Name above every name, exalted high
How wonderful, how beautiful,
Jesus your name, name above every name, Jesus
I will sing forever, Jesus I love you, Jesus I love you
.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
today's dialogue session @ FCC
One of the gals asked me how I found the session. I simply told her that there wasn't enough time to talk about how to resolve the issues as a conclusion to the purpose of having the talk in the first place. It was a good idea that SL suggested to meet up another time to do that.
The purpose of the talk was how to enhance the presence of women in FCC. I didn't have a problem with the presence of women in church because I felt there was nothing much we could do about it. I think the root of the problem comes from how people perceive and receive the sermons and hence the decision to stay on at FCC or get their spiritual food elsewhere.
I guess what FCC or whoever has a problem with the lack of presence of women in the church has to determine what they want. Is their purpose to retain the current number of women in the church? Is their purpose to get gals from CGs to attend FCC ? Is their purpose to get other women to attend FCC? There are different solutions to all situations, as in I have not yet thought about how we can compromise to make everyone happy.
The way I see it, gals who are attending FCC either are very happy with the way the sermons are or that they are serving in some capacity but getting their spiritual food elsewhere, which explains why they do not attend FCC every week. For some gals who are getting adequately fed from the sermons, changing the content and depth of sermons may not appeal to them.
The way I know it, gals who attend CG but not the service @ FCC either have their commitments to their own church or that they find themselves not sufficiently fed @ FCC but a conflict in their own church's service timings with that of FCC does not enable them to attend both services. So the only way they will be @ FCC is when they feed sufficiently fed @ FCC. Sure, there is some level of personal responsibility in being more proactive in getting one's spiritual food other than church, but in this busy busy world, they must either have the conviction that FCC is the church that they are called to serve in, or they must be given time to feel belonged to FCC.
Everyone has their personal journey, just like mine. I started with just attending CG. As I feel more @ home @ FCC, I want to appear more in FCC. It used to be just for lunch with the gals, but of late, especially after having a conversation with CM, I decided to make is a more deliberate decision to rush down to FCC after Covenant's 9a.m. service. There is a need to hear what is preached at FCC to address certain issues that may come up during CG.
As for bringing new people to church, there are 2 issues relating to that. One is the way they receive the sermons which determines whether they will stay at FCC. THe other is how welcomed they feel when they come to FCC. For me, the reason why I would want to come to FCC is because I want to be able to be myself and am able to be real and authentic which facilitates honest sharing too. Other than that, I would want everything else to be ceteris paribus, as in with the theology.
Sometimes I think the gals who come to FCC are looking for a place for support without compromising on their desire to grow in their walk with God, then FCC would prolly not be the place they would think about settling down in if what they get from the sermons are not what they are used to hearing. I do think though, that if they stick around a bit more, the feeling of being @ home might influence that decision a lil.
I have brought some peeps to FCC, and I had spoken to people who had been to FCC. And the reason why most of them do not come back, was either because the depth of the sermons was not to their liking, or that the content preached was not to their comfort. There. I think if FCC wants women to have more visibility in church, they should deal with this; the sermons.
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The purpose of the talk was how to enhance the presence of women in FCC. I didn't have a problem with the presence of women in church because I felt there was nothing much we could do about it. I think the root of the problem comes from how people perceive and receive the sermons and hence the decision to stay on at FCC or get their spiritual food elsewhere.
I guess what FCC or whoever has a problem with the lack of presence of women in the church has to determine what they want. Is their purpose to retain the current number of women in the church? Is their purpose to get gals from CGs to attend FCC ? Is their purpose to get other women to attend FCC? There are different solutions to all situations, as in I have not yet thought about how we can compromise to make everyone happy.
The way I see it, gals who are attending FCC either are very happy with the way the sermons are or that they are serving in some capacity but getting their spiritual food elsewhere, which explains why they do not attend FCC every week. For some gals who are getting adequately fed from the sermons, changing the content and depth of sermons may not appeal to them.
The way I know it, gals who attend CG but not the service @ FCC either have their commitments to their own church or that they find themselves not sufficiently fed @ FCC but a conflict in their own church's service timings with that of FCC does not enable them to attend both services. So the only way they will be @ FCC is when they feed sufficiently fed @ FCC. Sure, there is some level of personal responsibility in being more proactive in getting one's spiritual food other than church, but in this busy busy world, they must either have the conviction that FCC is the church that they are called to serve in, or they must be given time to feel belonged to FCC.
Everyone has their personal journey, just like mine. I started with just attending CG. As I feel more @ home @ FCC, I want to appear more in FCC. It used to be just for lunch with the gals, but of late, especially after having a conversation with CM, I decided to make is a more deliberate decision to rush down to FCC after Covenant's 9a.m. service. There is a need to hear what is preached at FCC to address certain issues that may come up during CG.
As for bringing new people to church, there are 2 issues relating to that. One is the way they receive the sermons which determines whether they will stay at FCC. THe other is how welcomed they feel when they come to FCC. For me, the reason why I would want to come to FCC is because I want to be able to be myself and am able to be real and authentic which facilitates honest sharing too. Other than that, I would want everything else to be ceteris paribus, as in with the theology.
Sometimes I think the gals who come to FCC are looking for a place for support without compromising on their desire to grow in their walk with God, then FCC would prolly not be the place they would think about settling down in if what they get from the sermons are not what they are used to hearing. I do think though, that if they stick around a bit more, the feeling of being @ home might influence that decision a lil.
I have brought some peeps to FCC, and I had spoken to people who had been to FCC. And the reason why most of them do not come back, was either because the depth of the sermons was not to their liking, or that the content preached was not to their comfort. There. I think if FCC wants women to have more visibility in church, they should deal with this; the sermons.
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my friend managed to find it :)
http://www.imeem.com/people/fb2sZNT/music/Xbc8R019/klaus_kuehn_elizabeth_clark_so_beautiful/
I am happy :)
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I am happy :)
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Saturday, November 15, 2008
Pro-Govt Advice
there are too many articles in the papers encouraging spending to boost the economy. I shall help. I am looking at the new CFN (Church for the Nations) worship album. That should be good! It has been a long time I bought a CD for myself. :)
http://www.cfnmusic.com/ecard/
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http://www.cfnmusic.com/ecard/
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post honeymoon blues
This might sound like a jaded and discouraging post, but I shall just post it anyway.
I received a text message from a dear old friend a week ago and she was sharing with me her struggles with her current gf.. What she shared, were very very real issues and it doesn't seem that either of them is at a bigger fault than the other. I guess I gave thanks then, that I am single still because, honestly, I don't think I can handle this sort of stress at this point in time. Maybe that's why it's difficult for me to even date someone exclusively right now. I am just not ready.
I remmebered when they first got together, how sweet things were between them. Then I thought about other couples too, and what I hear from them about things being sweet at the beginning until problems start to appear. big problems which lead to big quarrels which sometimes lead to a breakdown in the relationship. Ordinarily, I would end off this sort of post by saying that it all boils down to meeting in between, being able to compromise and give in, and that after the struggling stage, that the relationship will take off to a new level, and both people in the relationship will be more stable and happier. So cliche hor.
I guess deep down, I wish this was so.. but I do not have as much confidence as before to believe that as much now.
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I received a text message from a dear old friend a week ago and she was sharing with me her struggles with her current gf.. What she shared, were very very real issues and it doesn't seem that either of them is at a bigger fault than the other. I guess I gave thanks then, that I am single still because, honestly, I don't think I can handle this sort of stress at this point in time. Maybe that's why it's difficult for me to even date someone exclusively right now. I am just not ready.
I remmebered when they first got together, how sweet things were between them. Then I thought about other couples too, and what I hear from them about things being sweet at the beginning until problems start to appear. big problems which lead to big quarrels which sometimes lead to a breakdown in the relationship. Ordinarily, I would end off this sort of post by saying that it all boils down to meeting in between, being able to compromise and give in, and that after the struggling stage, that the relationship will take off to a new level, and both people in the relationship will be more stable and happier. So cliche hor.
I guess deep down, I wish this was so.. but I do not have as much confidence as before to believe that as much now.
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I played this song till my fingertips feel raw
I posted this on Multiply too, and a friend who lives in texas just told me that Klaus lives just 5 minutes from her, that she teaches his daughter piano and that he is very anointed and that I should check out his other CFN recordings. I should. I think this song is so so so lovely.
One of the songs for CG this tuesday :)
SO BEAUTIFUL by: Klaus Kuehn, Elizabeth Clark & Christina Byers
(VERSE 1)
You are so beautiful! There is none that compares to You,
Who can take my brokenness, and make something new? Only You
(CHORUS)
You’re beautiful to me. You will be my song for all eternity
You’re overtaking every part of me. You’re beautiful to me.
(VERSE 2)
Merciful Father, There is none that compares to You
Who can take my bitterness and make something sweet? Only You
(BRIDGE)
And I am left in awe of You
And I am left in awe of You
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One of the songs for CG this tuesday :)
SO BEAUTIFUL by: Klaus Kuehn, Elizabeth Clark & Christina Byers
(VERSE 1)
You are so beautiful! There is none that compares to You,
Who can take my brokenness, and make something new? Only You
(CHORUS)
You’re beautiful to me. You will be my song for all eternity
You’re overtaking every part of me. You’re beautiful to me.
(VERSE 2)
Merciful Father, There is none that compares to You
Who can take my bitterness and make something sweet? Only You
(BRIDGE)
And I am left in awe of You
And I am left in awe of You
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taking deep breaths
While I am talking to an old friend over msn, I feel like I need to release my frustration. She's really bitter.. with lots of baggages, and she blames God for everything good that people have that she doesn't. And blah blah blah.. very negative... And she's very antagonistic lor... She speaks in a way that makes me feel like retaliating sometimes.. I am irritated hearing her out, yet I can see how much she needs to be liberated from her baggages, and feel loved so she will feel better...
argh...................................................ok.. i feel better already. Pray pray pray..
Contentment is great gain. Actually the bible says that Contentment and Godliness is great gain. Not just contentment.
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argh...................................................ok.. i feel better already. Pray pray pray..
Contentment is great gain. Actually the bible says that Contentment and Godliness is great gain. Not just contentment.
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Friday, November 14, 2008
Lesson for today: Look Far. Look beyond results.
Verse from Luke 10:20
"Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven."
I find that many times, I feel pleased because of how everything turns out well and I know it's also due to the prayer requests made and I thank God for that, I thank Him for answering prayers. But this verse helps me direct my eyes to what should be the thing I should look to, and that is what is happening in the heavens, that how I should look to the approval of Jesus, seated at the right hand of God. I know this sounds abstract but that is all I can come up with at the moment.
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"Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven."
I find that many times, I feel pleased because of how everything turns out well and I know it's also due to the prayer requests made and I thank God for that, I thank Him for answering prayers. But this verse helps me direct my eyes to what should be the thing I should look to, and that is what is happening in the heavens, that how I should look to the approval of Jesus, seated at the right hand of God. I know this sounds abstract but that is all I can come up with at the moment.
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A Question:
Is it wrong to be closeted, even if it is not for work purpose?
My personal take is that we should let people take their time in deciding how and when they wanna come out if they do want to come out. It's a journey, I guess. And some people do take a long while longer than others. And some people might be closeted all their lives.
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My personal take is that we should let people take their time in deciding how and when they wanna come out if they do want to come out. It's a journey, I guess. And some people do take a long while longer than others. And some people might be closeted all their lives.
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Farewell Night
It's over!!! And I got to drink to celebrate! I drank a bottle of Heineken, a lychee martini and half a shot ( I resisted the other half because I was driving and I didn't want to go home any later because of the need to get rid of the alcohol in the body).
Went to Boiler with S and J. It was fun! I think it felt more fun because I was feeling really relaxed. :) I don't mind doing this again!
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Went to Boiler with S and J. It was fun! I think it felt more fun because I was feeling really relaxed. :) I don't mind doing this again!
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Matchmaking Opportunities and what I really like
Do I look or seem like the kind of person who looks for someone successful, accomplished, driven, financially stable to be a partner? :)
It's funny. This dear friend of mine, who either is anxious that I am old and lonely, or that she just enjoys playing the matchmaker, was suggesting someone I should date for the 2nd time already.
This is how the first one sounds like:
Hey. I got a friend from facebook. She saw your photo and is interested in getting to know you better. How about chatting with her? She's also a christian, she's in the States for another 2 years. High flyer, very successful, very nice. Blah blah blah. Many more things.
This is how the second one sounds like:
I have a friend. Applications are open. She's very successful, very accomplished, a writer, but now a pub owner too. She's very driven and passionate about her work, quite cool looking. blah blah blah.
I am just amused she mentioned qualities that got to do with material stuff before moving on to other qualities which are somewhat related to the financial stability of the person, like that is something that is most important in a partner. :) But I am not attracted to that, though I think being financially stable and being wise about finances is important. Maybe that's important for her, but not me.
I like someone with a heart who loves God and the things of God, I like someone open to being changed for the better. I like someone with a pure heart. I like someone who has a lot of love, not just for me, but for the people around. I like someone wise and mature, yet able to play at the same time. I like someone who is expressive, someone who speaks well, someone who uses words well, for the benefit of others, not for manipulative purposes. I like someone I can have a 2-way conversation with. I like someone I can share my heart with and likewise someone who lets herself be vulnerable enough to share her heart with me. I like someone who is open to falling in love when the time is right. I like someone who's gentle as opposed to someone who's agressive. I like someone who encourages and helps me in being a better person.
I better stop. :p
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It's funny. This dear friend of mine, who either is anxious that I am old and lonely, or that she just enjoys playing the matchmaker, was suggesting someone I should date for the 2nd time already.
This is how the first one sounds like:
Hey. I got a friend from facebook. She saw your photo and is interested in getting to know you better. How about chatting with her? She's also a christian, she's in the States for another 2 years. High flyer, very successful, very nice. Blah blah blah. Many more things.
This is how the second one sounds like:
I have a friend. Applications are open. She's very successful, very accomplished, a writer, but now a pub owner too. She's very driven and passionate about her work, quite cool looking. blah blah blah.
I am just amused she mentioned qualities that got to do with material stuff before moving on to other qualities which are somewhat related to the financial stability of the person, like that is something that is most important in a partner. :) But I am not attracted to that, though I think being financially stable and being wise about finances is important. Maybe that's important for her, but not me.
I like someone with a heart who loves God and the things of God, I like someone open to being changed for the better. I like someone with a pure heart. I like someone who has a lot of love, not just for me, but for the people around. I like someone wise and mature, yet able to play at the same time. I like someone who is expressive, someone who speaks well, someone who uses words well, for the benefit of others, not for manipulative purposes. I like someone I can have a 2-way conversation with. I like someone I can share my heart with and likewise someone who lets herself be vulnerable enough to share her heart with me. I like someone who is open to falling in love when the time is right. I like someone who's gentle as opposed to someone who's agressive. I like someone who encourages and helps me in being a better person.
I better stop. :p
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Exciting 2009
This is my portfolio for next year:
1) P5 English Teacher
2) P2,5 and 6 PE teacher
3) Health Education Coordinator
4) English Level Rep
5) Netball CCA Overall-in-charge
6) Plus all the projects I will be overall-in-charged of which I will know of in the next few days.
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1) P5 English Teacher
2) P2,5 and 6 PE teacher
3) Health Education Coordinator
4) English Level Rep
5) Netball CCA Overall-in-charge
6) Plus all the projects I will be overall-in-charged of which I will know of in the next few days.
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Wednesday, November 12, 2008
what people think..
my P thinks I am very unhappening. :) She knows I spend a lot of time with church activities, so when I expressed that I needed a break from the 7a.m. routine, she asked me to go out and have fun and start dating. She asked if I am dating, I said on and off. Then she asked me to go out and have fun when I am still young and blah blah blah. At first, I thought she was encouraging marriage so I will be tied down by financial commitment, but she said she doesnt believe in marriage (though she's married herself). I told her I am having fun. haha..
I was caught in another " let me introduce you to someone" situation again. Too sleepy to write more. Tomorrow. CG was great as usual. Laterz...
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I was caught in another " let me introduce you to someone" situation again. Too sleepy to write more. Tomorrow. CG was great as usual. Laterz...
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Tuesday, November 11, 2008
writing this because I got no one to talk to at the moment..
I remembered my dream!
J (The J in BKK) was talking to me in FCC. She was wearing a white shirt. I was sharing what I learnt in church, then she asked me,"What's your application?" She said she reads my blog about what I write about what I have learnt, but she asked me ( I seem to remember in a very fierce tone) "How do you apply this in your life?"
Geez. So scary. But J seems to have mellowed leh. Missed her bubbly self. :)
But yeh. It's important to be able to apply what we read from the bible. Or what God is saying to us through the insights we glean. And His revelations. hmm.. and the purpose of the dream is......? Think God is speaking to me.
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J (The J in BKK) was talking to me in FCC. She was wearing a white shirt. I was sharing what I learnt in church, then she asked me,"What's your application?" She said she reads my blog about what I write about what I have learnt, but she asked me ( I seem to remember in a very fierce tone) "How do you apply this in your life?"
Geez. So scary. But J seems to have mellowed leh. Missed her bubbly self. :)
But yeh. It's important to be able to apply what we read from the bible. Or what God is saying to us through the insights we glean. And His revelations. hmm.. and the purpose of the dream is......? Think God is speaking to me.
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news update
oh guess what. I just received some update about the 3rd heavenly king.
Apparently, he works best alone. And I was advised to get someone to hold his hand when he needs to go to the toilet so he doesn't do things like jump down from the building. I also heard that he is hyper hyperactive.
ANd guess what, the current HE coordinator told me that many projects have come in and she had better sit down with me and decide which to take up and which not to.
Sounds like an exciting 2009 ahead eh?
I think I can't take too much turbulence in other aspects of my life next year. I should get married soon.
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Apparently, he works best alone. And I was advised to get someone to hold his hand when he needs to go to the toilet so he doesn't do things like jump down from the building. I also heard that he is hyper hyperactive.
ANd guess what, the current HE coordinator told me that many projects have come in and she had better sit down with me and decide which to take up and which not to.
Sounds like an exciting 2009 ahead eh?
I think I can't take too much turbulence in other aspects of my life next year. I should get married soon.
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Monday, November 10, 2008
2 biiiiiiiggggggg baaaaddddd news....
I so need a drink.
I am internally appointed as the Health Education Coordinator.
That is not good news because that means no more oily fried food and no more bubble tea.
More importantly, it means more work. And prolly more meetings and the need to come up with some project or campaign that comes along with the title.
I have already indicated to my P and my RO that I am happy status quo, that I am not ambitious, and that I do not wish to climb the ladder, and that's the reason why I am happy with just being a teacher, nothing else.
Obviously, the management and leadership do not go with the culture of asking if someone wants to take up leadership positions or not. They just give.
Big sigh.
I really appreciate my free time to do other stuff non work related.
And then.... I learnt that I inherited a Low Ability Class with the infamous 4 heavenly kings, the worst in the level so I heard.
2 of them do everything together. They are inseparable. They jumped down from the 2nd storey of the building together, they vandalise cars together, they bully each other, they bully others together.. and blah blah blah.. And they are just 10 this year. WHy do they still put them together in the same class?
It is not so much teaching a low ability class that is disturbing. At the best, they will be attentive and they would want to learn. But most of the time, they are not interested in learning, and with the 4 notorious boys disrupting the class in the middle of lessons, I foresee a year of challenges. Difficult challenges.
It is at times like this, i am reminded to hold on to the promises of God, that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And that I am MORE THAN a conqueror, not just a conqueror, but more than a conqueror in Him. ARGH....
I believe everything happens for a reason. And I would know next year what the reason is. I just wait in fear and trembling. Maybe that's the point of the sermon on Sunday. His grace is sufficient for me and His strength is made perfect in my weakness.
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I am internally appointed as the Health Education Coordinator.
That is not good news because that means no more oily fried food and no more bubble tea.
More importantly, it means more work. And prolly more meetings and the need to come up with some project or campaign that comes along with the title.
I have already indicated to my P and my RO that I am happy status quo, that I am not ambitious, and that I do not wish to climb the ladder, and that's the reason why I am happy with just being a teacher, nothing else.
Obviously, the management and leadership do not go with the culture of asking if someone wants to take up leadership positions or not. They just give.
Big sigh.
I really appreciate my free time to do other stuff non work related.
And then.... I learnt that I inherited a Low Ability Class with the infamous 4 heavenly kings, the worst in the level so I heard.
2 of them do everything together. They are inseparable. They jumped down from the 2nd storey of the building together, they vandalise cars together, they bully each other, they bully others together.. and blah blah blah.. And they are just 10 this year. WHy do they still put them together in the same class?
It is not so much teaching a low ability class that is disturbing. At the best, they will be attentive and they would want to learn. But most of the time, they are not interested in learning, and with the 4 notorious boys disrupting the class in the middle of lessons, I foresee a year of challenges. Difficult challenges.
It is at times like this, i am reminded to hold on to the promises of God, that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And that I am MORE THAN a conqueror, not just a conqueror, but more than a conqueror in Him. ARGH....
I believe everything happens for a reason. And I would know next year what the reason is. I just wait in fear and trembling. Maybe that's the point of the sermon on Sunday. His grace is sufficient for me and His strength is made perfect in my weakness.
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Sunday, November 9, 2008
I was right...
but being right doesn't mean things will turn out the way I like.
doing the right thing does not mean that no one else will feel unhappy.
doing the right thing doesn't cause me to feel guilt.
but i guess doing the right thing doesn't guarantee that I will be happy either. For now.
Sigh.. the optimist in me says: everything in its time, I guess.
mind and heart boggling. I need revelation. Pls pray.
I have not felt this heavy heart in a while. Sigh. I guess it's only wise doing what I decided to do.. at least I do not have to feel worse than how I am feeling now.
argh........................................................................................................
bad time for all these.
Pls pray. Farewell Night on Thursday. Sigh. That first.
Dun ask. Just pray that God will work, and He will sort things out.
I am going to bed.
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doing the right thing does not mean that no one else will feel unhappy.
doing the right thing doesn't cause me to feel guilt.
but i guess doing the right thing doesn't guarantee that I will be happy either. For now.
Sigh.. the optimist in me says: everything in its time, I guess.
mind and heart boggling. I need revelation. Pls pray.
I have not felt this heavy heart in a while. Sigh. I guess it's only wise doing what I decided to do.. at least I do not have to feel worse than how I am feeling now.
argh........................................................................................................
bad time for all these.
Pls pray. Farewell Night on Thursday. Sigh. That first.
Dun ask. Just pray that God will work, and He will sort things out.
I am going to bed.
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Saturday, November 8, 2008
I luff Saturdays
Quoted from Beyonce: I just have to accept that I will never be slim because I love food too much.
Heehee. That's me too.
I am so giddy trying to book badminton courts online using S's PA details. I give up. S, please help......... thanks.
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Heehee. That's me too.
I am so giddy trying to book badminton courts online using S's PA details. I give up. S, please help......... thanks.
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some sort of trivial
I discovered the talented Cristiano Ronaldo 3 years ago when I watched him juggle the ball during one of his practise sessions. I thought then: this guy is really good!
And he turned out really really really good. Plus he's cute.
I got a good eye.
But I must remember to change my contact lens. I am 1 week late.
There are many wants, but few needs. Sigh.
I am damn glad I can sleep in.
Today's teh tarik, though sweet and tasty, could not keep me awake.
If I didn't feel so tired, I would have joined my friend @ prawning. Kinda miss her company.
I am getting slightly freakish for the upcoming farewell night which is on this Thursday though I have been running the event through my head. Please pray that all will go supernaturally well. Thanks!
I am going to read Luke 5 and 6 now. Ciaoz.
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And he turned out really really really good. Plus he's cute.
I got a good eye.
But I must remember to change my contact lens. I am 1 week late.
There are many wants, but few needs. Sigh.
I am damn glad I can sleep in.
Today's teh tarik, though sweet and tasty, could not keep me awake.
If I didn't feel so tired, I would have joined my friend @ prawning. Kinda miss her company.
I am getting slightly freakish for the upcoming farewell night which is on this Thursday though I have been running the event through my head. Please pray that all will go supernaturally well. Thanks!
I am going to read Luke 5 and 6 now. Ciaoz.
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Thursday, November 6, 2008
Luke 3 and 4
I can only handle 2 chpts a day I think.
What I find interesting:
-that Jesus came from Adam! The Geneology was very interesting as I ran through the names down the family line. How cool that is!
-we spoke about this next point during the last session @ CG. THe questions were asked " How did Jesus exhibit wisdom in this scenerio? What would have happened if he had not done what he did?
In his encounter with Satan after enduring 40 days in the wilderness, Jesus was hungry, and prolly weak from the ordeals, because afterall, he is human, just like us. Satan was smart. He used what was written in the word of God to entice Jesus to submit to him, but Jesus knew the heart of his father, so he was able to use the word of God appropriately to refute and rebuke Satan.
That's why the bible says, even the evil spirits believe in God, and they shudder. So does believing in God means something?
Knowing who God is and even believing in Him and making the deliberate choice of receiving Him as Lord and Saviour are two different matters though they are on the same scale. Just that Knowing who God is a prerequsite for most people to receive Him into their lives. We learnt that in IDT. It's called the Engel's Scale.
I am tired and so seem like I am blabbering. Soray. Time to sleep.
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What I find interesting:
-that Jesus came from Adam! The Geneology was very interesting as I ran through the names down the family line. How cool that is!
-we spoke about this next point during the last session @ CG. THe questions were asked " How did Jesus exhibit wisdom in this scenerio? What would have happened if he had not done what he did?
In his encounter with Satan after enduring 40 days in the wilderness, Jesus was hungry, and prolly weak from the ordeals, because afterall, he is human, just like us. Satan was smart. He used what was written in the word of God to entice Jesus to submit to him, but Jesus knew the heart of his father, so he was able to use the word of God appropriately to refute and rebuke Satan.
That's why the bible says, even the evil spirits believe in God, and they shudder. So does believing in God means something?
Knowing who God is and even believing in Him and making the deliberate choice of receiving Him as Lord and Saviour are two different matters though they are on the same scale. Just that Knowing who God is a prerequsite for most people to receive Him into their lives. We learnt that in IDT. It's called the Engel's Scale.
I am tired and so seem like I am blabbering. Soray. Time to sleep.
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Reading Luke + Psalms
I spent a good 2 hours by the pool today. It was really a good time alone. I am happy.
Along with the neverending Pslams which I have been trying to finish, I am reading Luke concurrently alongside with a dear friend who has recently started reading Luke. Yay. I am happy. I think that is one of the best thing that happened this week! :)
It's been quite interesting rereading it when I know that someone else is reading the same thing that I am reading.
One thing I found interesting was the comparison between Zechariah's case and Mary's case. Both times, God sent Gabriel the angel to speak to them about them. Zechariah didn't quite believe the angel but Mary was willing to be open to what was told to her because she was willing (" I am the Lord's servant,") I wondered if these 2 incidents were told one after the other to draw out the difference in attitude between Zechariah and Mary.
Another thing that struck me was the evidence of the power of God. Elizabeth obviously wouldn't know about Mary's coming child, but the spirit of God was the one who worked in her to encourage Mary and assured her that what she heard from the angel was true. So God was good to send her an encourager in a person other than the angel. It was a confirmation for her.
When Mary left Elizabeth, it would be about time that Elizabeth gave birth. Because Mary heard from the angel in Elizabeth's 6th month of preganancy and she stayed with Elizabeth for 3 months. My question: How come she didn't stay till Elizabeth gave birth?
Jesus @ 12 years old was sitting together with the religious leaders and asking chim questions..At 12, eveyrone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his responses. He grew in stature and wisdom and in favour with God and men. If only my kids are like that :P
Cool.
End of chpt 2.
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Along with the neverending Pslams which I have been trying to finish, I am reading Luke concurrently alongside with a dear friend who has recently started reading Luke. Yay. I am happy. I think that is one of the best thing that happened this week! :)
It's been quite interesting rereading it when I know that someone else is reading the same thing that I am reading.
One thing I found interesting was the comparison between Zechariah's case and Mary's case. Both times, God sent Gabriel the angel to speak to them about them. Zechariah didn't quite believe the angel but Mary was willing to be open to what was told to her because she was willing (" I am the Lord's servant,") I wondered if these 2 incidents were told one after the other to draw out the difference in attitude between Zechariah and Mary.
Another thing that struck me was the evidence of the power of God. Elizabeth obviously wouldn't know about Mary's coming child, but the spirit of God was the one who worked in her to encourage Mary and assured her that what she heard from the angel was true. So God was good to send her an encourager in a person other than the angel. It was a confirmation for her.
When Mary left Elizabeth, it would be about time that Elizabeth gave birth. Because Mary heard from the angel in Elizabeth's 6th month of preganancy and she stayed with Elizabeth for 3 months. My question: How come she didn't stay till Elizabeth gave birth?
Jesus @ 12 years old was sitting together with the religious leaders and asking chim questions..At 12, eveyrone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his responses. He grew in stature and wisdom and in favour with God and men. If only my kids are like that :P
Cool.
End of chpt 2.
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Growing in Wisdom Through Worship?
WL asked about how we think we can acquire wisdom since the topic that night was about the Character of Wisdom. I was sharing with them that for me, worshipping God in songs helps me in a very intangible way, which was difficult for me to explain then since I had not given much thought to it. N asked too, in what way can wisdom be acquired when I am worshipping God. So... I decided to think about it and came up with a somewhat logical explanation for those who need tangible evidence.
Everyone knows the power of prayer. Prayer is simply conversing with God, either thanking Him, interceding for others, or asking for something from Him. And God answers prayers. Christian songs, even the most contemporary ones have this aspect of communing and communicating with God. Praying using the word of God leads to more powerful prayers since we are praying according to the will of God. And many christian songs have their content from the word of God. That is for the lyrics of the songs.
In the secular music world, even music can touch, move and soothe the soul. Can you imagine a composer who comes up with a tune for a christian song? Surely God's anointing power will fall upon him/her and carry that anointing through the song. I don't know if that is biblical, but i do think there is a reason why so many christian songs sound nicer than so many secular songs. That is my take.
So, worshipping God is deliberately coming into His presence to commune with Him, and with the additional component of the anointed tune that moves the soul, as well as having to flow with the momentum of the song helps us to be consumed by the presence of God. Since through prayers, we grow to know the heart of God and that gives wisdom, being in a setting like worship has only more value to add to the experience of God and the acquisition of wisdom.
I am not quite sure if the point is clear but that's the best I can do to explain why I think worshipping God changes me for the better.
Suddenly, something came to mind. I always remember what Pastor said, that there is always room for emotions, but being emotional is another thing. Basically, he is telling us to be balanced. For some conservatives, they believe that the worship of God should be dignified and proper; at the other extreme, some believe that emotions count for everything, that if you are not emotional, then there is something wrong with your fellowship with God. I believe there is a time and place for everything. :)
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Everyone knows the power of prayer. Prayer is simply conversing with God, either thanking Him, interceding for others, or asking for something from Him. And God answers prayers. Christian songs, even the most contemporary ones have this aspect of communing and communicating with God. Praying using the word of God leads to more powerful prayers since we are praying according to the will of God. And many christian songs have their content from the word of God. That is for the lyrics of the songs.
In the secular music world, even music can touch, move and soothe the soul. Can you imagine a composer who comes up with a tune for a christian song? Surely God's anointing power will fall upon him/her and carry that anointing through the song. I don't know if that is biblical, but i do think there is a reason why so many christian songs sound nicer than so many secular songs. That is my take.
So, worshipping God is deliberately coming into His presence to commune with Him, and with the additional component of the anointed tune that moves the soul, as well as having to flow with the momentum of the song helps us to be consumed by the presence of God. Since through prayers, we grow to know the heart of God and that gives wisdom, being in a setting like worship has only more value to add to the experience of God and the acquisition of wisdom.
I am not quite sure if the point is clear but that's the best I can do to explain why I think worshipping God changes me for the better.
Suddenly, something came to mind. I always remember what Pastor said, that there is always room for emotions, but being emotional is another thing. Basically, he is telling us to be balanced. For some conservatives, they believe that the worship of God should be dignified and proper; at the other extreme, some believe that emotions count for everything, that if you are not emotional, then there is something wrong with your fellowship with God. I believe there is a time and place for everything. :)
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No. I do not wish to try again.
See Title.
X 10000000000000000 times.
When someone doesn't want to let go despite knowing that things won't work out, is she seen as devoted and I seen as heartless? Is her love considered undying and mine frivolous?
When I am feeling upset that she is not letting go, am I considered cruel? Sheez. I do feel quite irritated. And I don't know how to handle her emotions. Someone told me before that I got to let her feel how she feels because that is the way she handles her emotions. So why do people ask me to consider giving it another try!?
Let this not be a factor that pushes me into another relationship, to start dating for the wrong reason. God help me.
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X 10000000000000000 times.
When someone doesn't want to let go despite knowing that things won't work out, is she seen as devoted and I seen as heartless? Is her love considered undying and mine frivolous?
When I am feeling upset that she is not letting go, am I considered cruel? Sheez. I do feel quite irritated. And I don't know how to handle her emotions. Someone told me before that I got to let her feel how she feels because that is the way she handles her emotions. So why do people ask me to consider giving it another try!?
Let this not be a factor that pushes me into another relationship, to start dating for the wrong reason. God help me.
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Wednesday, November 5, 2008
CS Lewis says....
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to be sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one - not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safely in the casket or the coffin of your selfishness. But, in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, unredeemable. The only place outside heaven where you can be safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love, is hell." (taken from a friend's blog)
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My heart aches not from the pain a friend went through during her tattoo-ing process. My heart aches from the pain that she was feeling in her heart when she was going through the tattoo-ing process.
I guess I could identify with how she was feeling. There was once I felt so much emotional pain, that I thought I wanted to get a tattoo. I thought then, no other pain could be more painful than the pain that I felt. I pray that I never have to feel pain at that level ever again. Never never never never again.
And please don't ask me to try at the r/s again. I feel this sense of fear and weariness as I think about even trying again. No no no no no way. Sigh. BIG SIGH.
On a more cheerful note, I had some great durian ice cream with great company which took away my food craving for prata, bee hoon goreng, teh tarik , durian and burburchacha. :)
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My heart aches not from the pain a friend went through during her tattoo-ing process. My heart aches from the pain that she was feeling in her heart when she was going through the tattoo-ing process.
I guess I could identify with how she was feeling. There was once I felt so much emotional pain, that I thought I wanted to get a tattoo. I thought then, no other pain could be more painful than the pain that I felt. I pray that I never have to feel pain at that level ever again. Never never never never again.
And please don't ask me to try at the r/s again. I feel this sense of fear and weariness as I think about even trying again. No no no no no way. Sigh. BIG SIGH.
On a more cheerful note, I had some great durian ice cream with great company which took away my food craving for prata, bee hoon goreng, teh tarik , durian and burburchacha. :)
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Wisdom
honestly, before today, I didn't know that we were going to do the Character of Wisdom for CG today leh.. *points to the highlighted sentence in the post below*
Anywayz, though today's group is smaller than usual, I must say that i enjoyed the discussion very much today. Good worship. Well-led and well-prepared facilitation. :)
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Anywayz, though today's group is smaller than usual, I must say that i enjoyed the discussion very much today. Good worship. Well-led and well-prepared facilitation. :)
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Monday, November 3, 2008
just nice, God taught me how to pray.
What I said in the earlier post about not wanting my life to be ineffective because life is short and precious?
Psalm 90:9-12
9 For all our days pass away under your wrath;we bring our years to an end like a sigh.
10 The years of our life are seventy,or even by reason of strength eighty;yet their span is but toil and trouble;they are soon gone, and we fly away.
11 Who considers the power of your anger,and your wrath according to the fear of you?
12 So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.
Amen.
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Psalm 90:9-12
9 For all our days pass away under your wrath;we bring our years to an end like a sigh.
10 The years of our life are seventy,or even by reason of strength eighty;yet their span is but toil and trouble;they are soon gone, and we fly away.
11 Who considers the power of your anger,and your wrath according to the fear of you?
12 So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.
Amen.
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What should be the title of my book?
If I ever publish a book, the title will be:
A Diary of Random Thoughts: The Daily Life Ramblings of a beloved Woman of Jesus, who loves God, PLUSH and The Lady.
Sounds good?
I am going to pick up my student. Hear my child prodigy jam and pass him to perform for the P6 Farewell night next Thursday. Have to put cookie in another room though. Cuz my student is muslim.
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A Diary of Random Thoughts: The Daily Life Ramblings of a beloved Woman of Jesus, who loves God, PLUSH and The Lady.
Sounds good?
I am going to pick up my student. Hear my child prodigy jam and pass him to perform for the P6 Farewell night next Thursday. Have to put cookie in another room though. Cuz my student is muslim.
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food for thought (while listening to Weezer & Ash)
I have a dear friend, who used to be straight for a while, then decided that she likes women. She was in one or 2 relationships after she found out about her attraction to women.. She is a woman after God's own heart, and often is plagued by the guilt of her attraction to women. Throughout these 2 years that I have known her, we have grown much closer due to our common factor in desiring to see God work in our lives.
Through these 2 years also, I heard about her struggle between wanting to be straight and her feelings for the different women she met.. When I was talking to her online again today, I guess I was able to relate to how she was feeling in terms of that unsettled heart when one is single and searching/waiting/anticipating something to come. That brought back the thought that had come up before, but never thought about deep enough to write anything about, that perhaps, it's more possible to grow better spiritually when two christians are settled in a lifetime monogamous relationship rather than being single and searching/waiting/anticipating something.
I guess through these 4 months, I can relate to this better; the possiblities are endless; the people I met, the people I am introduced to, the people I am interested to know as more than a friend, the people who are interested to know me as more than a friend. Sometimes, I feel like I get caught up in this endless cycle of looking out for that lifetime partner that it sometimes overwhelmes the more important things in life. Just sometimes. But I don't really like to live an ineffective life. Life is too short and precious to live like that.
So.. I think, in summary, to not live a purposeless and ineffective life,
1) It's best to be single and not searching.
2) If we really need to be with someone, pray that we will find someone right, and then settle down and get married.
haha..
Anywayz, Weezer and Ash have the cutest lyrics I know.. They Might Be Giants too.. haha.. I really enjoy listening to their music. I tried looking for ASH 1977 album but Borders do not have it. :( And I can't remember who borrowed mine.
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Through these 2 years also, I heard about her struggle between wanting to be straight and her feelings for the different women she met.. When I was talking to her online again today, I guess I was able to relate to how she was feeling in terms of that unsettled heart when one is single and searching/waiting/anticipating something to come. That brought back the thought that had come up before, but never thought about deep enough to write anything about, that perhaps, it's more possible to grow better spiritually when two christians are settled in a lifetime monogamous relationship rather than being single and searching/waiting/anticipating something.
I guess through these 4 months, I can relate to this better; the possiblities are endless; the people I met, the people I am introduced to, the people I am interested to know as more than a friend, the people who are interested to know me as more than a friend. Sometimes, I feel like I get caught up in this endless cycle of looking out for that lifetime partner that it sometimes overwhelmes the more important things in life. Just sometimes. But I don't really like to live an ineffective life. Life is too short and precious to live like that.
So.. I think, in summary, to not live a purposeless and ineffective life,
1) It's best to be single and not searching.
2) If we really need to be with someone, pray that we will find someone right, and then settle down and get married.
haha..
Anywayz, Weezer and Ash have the cutest lyrics I know.. They Might Be Giants too.. haha.. I really enjoy listening to their music. I tried looking for ASH 1977 album but Borders do not have it. :( And I can't remember who borrowed mine.
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Sunday, November 2, 2008
chocolate-chocolate-chocolate
I am eating too much chocolate. I wonder why.
I really mean to blog about the continuation from Friday's IDT as well as what I learnt today..
but i think I want to sleep early tonight..
so...
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I am so random I can't stand myself sometimes :) .
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I really mean to blog about the continuation from Friday's IDT as well as what I learnt today..
but i think I want to sleep early tonight..
so...
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I am so random I can't stand myself sometimes :) .
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Hard Rock Cafe
did i say i really enjoyed my time together with the gals at HRC last nite? I was looking forward to the live music, but what thrilled me were the easy conversations going around, people feeling comfortable just watching MJ MTVs, not needing to speak, the random jokes flying around, the love, care and concern that was shown, I was looking @ the photos and get this nice warm feeling. Things are getting better, thanks to the grace of God.
Anywayz, the music ain't that great. I love the hot fudge brownie ice cream though. Love the ribs too, and the nachos, and the steak. :) Thank God for A, that I get to exercise at least once a week.
They even have HRC (Singapore) drum sticks!
Happy birthday, S :)
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Anywayz, the music ain't that great. I love the hot fudge brownie ice cream though. Love the ribs too, and the nachos, and the steak. :) Thank God for A, that I get to exercise at least once a week.
They even have HRC (Singapore) drum sticks!
Happy birthday, S :)
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Sensible stuff now.
okay, now that all the rubbish is out. I can write about what I gleaned from today's service.
sheez. my leg is cramping.
it's amazing how everything from what we are doing in PLUSH is linked to IDT and also to the sunday sermons. Just last week, the message is about leadership, and of course, servant leadership was spoken off.
Today, humility was spoken of too.
now my other leg is cramping. The Isqueeze is not happy with me.
wassup mate!
sigh. I dropped my hp last night.
firstly , about servant leadership.
Servant leadership seeks growth, not conformity
Servant leadership leads by empowering, not control
Servant leadership desires to be good, not merely looks good
Servant leadership guides people, not drive them
Servant leadership assumes responsiblity, not seeks a position
To read more, pls refer to 2 Cor 11:16-33
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sheez. my leg is cramping.
it's amazing how everything from what we are doing in PLUSH is linked to IDT and also to the sunday sermons. Just last week, the message is about leadership, and of course, servant leadership was spoken off.
Today, humility was spoken of too.
now my other leg is cramping. The Isqueeze is not happy with me.
wassup mate!
sigh. I dropped my hp last night.
firstly , about servant leadership.
Servant leadership seeks growth, not conformity
Servant leadership leads by empowering, not control
Servant leadership desires to be good, not merely looks good
Servant leadership guides people, not drive them
Servant leadership assumes responsiblity, not seeks a position
To read more, pls refer to 2 Cor 11:16-33
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some more after-shower randoms
-I can never be too sad on sundays, because I get a fresh dose of the Holy Spirit through corporate worship and sermons and fellowship. I suspect the only reason why I am not estastically happy every Sunday is because of the impending Monday blues. :)
-Thinking about taking a shower makes me grumpy. Walking out after a shower makes me happy. Writing this makes me kiddy.
-I am really thankful for the car. With the car, I could attend the 9a.m. service @ Covenant and then zoom down to FCC just in time for communion, sermon, and lunch with the gals. :)
-Thithing requires us to give one tenth of our firstfruit to God. However, monetary resources are not the only gifts God has given to us. Our time is also a gift from God. So given 24 hours, if we spend 8 hours sleeping, we will have 16 hours left. A tenth of 16 hours is about an hour and a half. Hmm.. That means we should also spend an hour and a half with God every day. Wow. I think it's quite a feat though I think activities like church and CG is also included in the time with God. I shall just start with doing QT everyday first.
-I enjoy spending time @ home. I was glad to have dinner together with my family today. Even Cookie followed me wherever I go. I think it was because the hot dog bun I was holding.
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-Thinking about taking a shower makes me grumpy. Walking out after a shower makes me happy. Writing this makes me kiddy.
-I am really thankful for the car. With the car, I could attend the 9a.m. service @ Covenant and then zoom down to FCC just in time for communion, sermon, and lunch with the gals. :)
-Thithing requires us to give one tenth of our firstfruit to God. However, monetary resources are not the only gifts God has given to us. Our time is also a gift from God. So given 24 hours, if we spend 8 hours sleeping, we will have 16 hours left. A tenth of 16 hours is about an hour and a half. Hmm.. That means we should also spend an hour and a half with God every day. Wow. I think it's quite a feat though I think activities like church and CG is also included in the time with God. I shall just start with doing QT everyday first.
-I enjoy spending time @ home. I was glad to have dinner together with my family today. Even Cookie followed me wherever I go. I think it was because the hot dog bun I was holding.
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Just some raving for entertainment's sake
is our happiness defined by whether we have a partner or not?
Of late, I came across a few instances where people have asked me if I was upset or unhappy. I get this impression from them that when I appear without a partner/potential parter, and I am not as lively as before, they attribute that to me having recovered, being ready to meet people, but still being single. Hallo, I have only been single for like 4 months lor. Is there a need to be attached so quickly?
Otherwise, when I do not look happy/lively when I was attached, how come people didn't ask me if I was okay? So lame.
Actually, I am happy being single. Sure, they are perks to being attached, but I really think I am not an incomplete person when I am single lor... And honestly, I would like my future partner to be happy and living a full life when she is single. I think people who are happy being single while waiting for the right one make better partners. That is from my personal point of view.
And what's wrong with looking at people's arms and commenting that they are nice?? Do I want to be with every attractive person I meet? As with my personality type, I just got an eye for aesthestic beauty :P It doesn't mean that I am interested in anything more than friends with anyone who catches my eye. I merely commented, " How did you get arms like that?" and 2 others echoed my questions and someone who heard my comment actually asked Ms Nice Arm's friend to be the matchmaker. They made me so conscious that I could not carry a decent conversation with Ms Nice Arms, ruining any potential chances of anything more.. Grrrrr.. haha.. actually, I was only joking. I don't think Ms Nice Arms is my type. Am I even her type?! Wait a minute. Is she even gay? :p
:) Okay. Enough. Next post after I shower.
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Of late, I came across a few instances where people have asked me if I was upset or unhappy. I get this impression from them that when I appear without a partner/potential parter, and I am not as lively as before, they attribute that to me having recovered, being ready to meet people, but still being single. Hallo, I have only been single for like 4 months lor. Is there a need to be attached so quickly?
Otherwise, when I do not look happy/lively when I was attached, how come people didn't ask me if I was okay? So lame.
Actually, I am happy being single. Sure, they are perks to being attached, but I really think I am not an incomplete person when I am single lor... And honestly, I would like my future partner to be happy and living a full life when she is single. I think people who are happy being single while waiting for the right one make better partners. That is from my personal point of view.
And what's wrong with looking at people's arms and commenting that they are nice?? Do I want to be with every attractive person I meet? As with my personality type, I just got an eye for aesthestic beauty :P It doesn't mean that I am interested in anything more than friends with anyone who catches my eye. I merely commented, " How did you get arms like that?" and 2 others echoed my questions and someone who heard my comment actually asked Ms Nice Arm's friend to be the matchmaker. They made me so conscious that I could not carry a decent conversation with Ms Nice Arms, ruining any potential chances of anything more.. Grrrrr.. haha.. actually, I was only joking. I don't think Ms Nice Arms is my type. Am I even her type?! Wait a minute. Is she even gay? :p
:) Okay. Enough. Next post after I shower.
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Saturday, November 1, 2008
Multiplying the Community- Part 1
I have been grinning and smiling each time I go for IDT. Things are getting more relevant week after week. Unfortunately, IDT has somewhat ended :(.
What was useful in what I learnt today:
3 Things that are important:
1) Spiritual Fruitfulness
2) Personal Preparation
3) Organisational Wisdom
-Breaking up a CG is emotionally hard to do - I so totally agree. That depends on the group you have. The closer you feel to the group, the harder it is to multiply. Likewise, if you do not feel belonged to the group, it doesn't make much difference if the group were to multiply or not.
-However, the bible talks about spiritual fruitfulness in many passages (Gen 12:1-2, Jer 23:3-6, Eze 36:9-12) . And Fruitfulness is God's Gift to Us. I repeat this statement. Fruifulness is God's gift to us. When we become attractive, others want to join us. A growing group is a healthy group.
(What it means to me: We shouldn't stop inviting people to visit the CG if they don't have spiritual support. The only thing I am unclear of is whether the pace of inviting people is too fast. New members who come in need time to settle and be rooted too right?)
This is the first part. Second part coming up. On Personal Preparation. Something that spoke to me more.
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What was useful in what I learnt today:
3 Things that are important:
1) Spiritual Fruitfulness
2) Personal Preparation
3) Organisational Wisdom
-Breaking up a CG is emotionally hard to do - I so totally agree. That depends on the group you have. The closer you feel to the group, the harder it is to multiply. Likewise, if you do not feel belonged to the group, it doesn't make much difference if the group were to multiply or not.
-However, the bible talks about spiritual fruitfulness in many passages (Gen 12:1-2, Jer 23:3-6, Eze 36:9-12) . And Fruitfulness is God's Gift to Us. I repeat this statement. Fruifulness is God's gift to us. When we become attractive, others want to join us. A growing group is a healthy group.
(What it means to me: We shouldn't stop inviting people to visit the CG if they don't have spiritual support. The only thing I am unclear of is whether the pace of inviting people is too fast. New members who come in need time to settle and be rooted too right?)
This is the first part. Second part coming up. On Personal Preparation. Something that spoke to me more.
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Last Friday Session of IDT.. I am graduating... :)
and honestly, it's been a tough 2 years of ups and downs, but I will really really miss the IDT sessions. Insightful and more importantly, it changed my inner life for the better. I am so thankful to God for the leaders in Covenant. I am even more thankful He led me to Covenant. Will share my testimony in mandarin once I get it translated by this sunday :)
Guess what the topic was today? Multiplying the Community. Woohoo. Great tips. Coming up in the next post!
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Guess what the topic was today? Multiplying the Community. Woohoo. Great tips. Coming up in the next post!
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Friday, October 31, 2008
The Walk Home
As I was walking home from work today, I turned on this song, and realised how far my heart has not been in tune with the heart of God. I realised how much I had missed the depth of fellowship and intimacy with the Lord. And for once in a long while, I blocked out all the distractions in my mind and my heart and just worshipped with all of my heart and all of my soul. I felt that indescribable joy that rose from my heart once again. I felt that anointing fall, I felt that sense of awe of how He, who is so great would care for me, who is so small.
How I missed feeling that way; where I can see and feel His majesty. His glorious majesty over all the earth, over all of me; that glory that draws the lost and broken to Him. And I gave thanks for Jesus then, that through Him, I am able to be at this place, where I can dwell in His presence, where I can gaze upon His beauty, where I can feel whole and feel that nothing else matters, where I can surrender all my cares and concerns to Him.
Thank you Jesus!
AS WE WORSHIP YOU-Don Moen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxJeO2HjG6k
As we worship You, let all the world come and see
How the mercy we received from You can set them free
As we worship You, let all this joy that fills our hearts
Bring a hunger and a hope to those who strayed so far
Chorus
As we bow in adoration and stand in reverent awe
Show Your majesty and glory, let Your anointing fall
As we declare Your name Lord Jesus as the only name who saves
May the power of Your salvation fill each heart we pray
As we worship You, let all the nations hear our song
Song of Jesus and His blood that proved His love for all
As we worship You, may all the lost and broken come
May they hear Your still small voice call out their names each one
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How I missed feeling that way; where I can see and feel His majesty. His glorious majesty over all the earth, over all of me; that glory that draws the lost and broken to Him. And I gave thanks for Jesus then, that through Him, I am able to be at this place, where I can dwell in His presence, where I can gaze upon His beauty, where I can feel whole and feel that nothing else matters, where I can surrender all my cares and concerns to Him.
Thank you Jesus!
AS WE WORSHIP YOU-Don Moen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxJeO2HjG6k
As we worship You, let all the world come and see
How the mercy we received from You can set them free
As we worship You, let all this joy that fills our hearts
Bring a hunger and a hope to those who strayed so far
Chorus
As we bow in adoration and stand in reverent awe
Show Your majesty and glory, let Your anointing fall
As we declare Your name Lord Jesus as the only name who saves
May the power of Your salvation fill each heart we pray
As we worship You, let all the nations hear our song
Song of Jesus and His blood that proved His love for all
As we worship You, may all the lost and broken come
May they hear Your still small voice call out their names each one
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Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Work- In - Progress but currently an ISFJ :)
On the 1 day of medical leave that I took, (doc gave me 2 days!!) , I spent 8 hours online, and counting. THank God I need to leave the house to give tuition. :) This is me, the ISFJ, but I also remind myself that we should never be defined by any personality tests, because ultimately, we are all in the process of being transformed by God into His likeness till the day we meet Him face to face. :)
The Nurturer
As an ISFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you takes things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.
ISFJs live in a world that is concrete and kind. They are truly warm and kind-hearted, and want to believe the best of people. They value harmony and cooperation, and are likely to be very sensitive to other people's feelings. People value the ISFJ for their consideration and awareness, and their ability to bring out the best in others by their firm desire to believe the best.
ISFJs have a rich inner world that is not usually obvious to observers. They constantly take in information about people and situations that is personally important to them, and store it away. This tremendous store of information is usually startlingly accurate, because the ISFJ has an exceptional memory about things that are important to their value systems. It would not be uncommon for the ISFJ to remember a particular facial expression or conversation in precise detail years after the event occured, if the situation made an impression on the ISFJ.
ISFJs have a very clear idea of the way things should be, which they strive to attain. They value security and kindness, and respect traditions and laws. They tend to believe that existing systems are there because they work. Therefore, they're not likely to buy into doing things in a new way, unless they're shown in a concrete way why its better than the established method.
ISFJs learn best by doing, rather than by reading about something in a book, or applying theory. For this reason, they are not likely to be found in fields which require a lot of conceptual analysis or theory. They value practical application. Traditional methods of higher education, which require a lot of theorizing and abstraction, are likely to be a chore for the ISFJ. The ISFJ learns a task best by being shown its practical application. Once the task is learned, and its practical importance is understood, the ISFJ will faithfully and tirelessly carry through the task to completion. The ISFJ is extremely dependable.
The ISFJ has an extremely well-developed sense of space, function, and aesthetic appeal. For that reason, they're likely to have beautifully furnished, functional homes. They make extremely good interior decorators. This special ability, combined with their sensitivity to other's feelings and desires, makes them very likely to be great gift-givers - finding the right gift which will be truly appreciated by the recipient.
More so than other types, ISFJs are extremely aware of their own internal feelings, as well as other people's feelings. They do not usually express their own feelings, keeping things inside. If they are negative feelings, they may build up inside the ISFJ until they turn into firm judgments against individuals which are difficult to unseed, once set. Many ISFJs learn to express themselves, and find outlets for their powerful emotions.
Just as the ISFJ is not likely to express their feelings, they are also not likely to let on that they know how others are feeling. However, they will speak up when they feel another individual really needs help, and in such cases they can truly help others become aware of their feelings.
The ISFJ feels a strong sense of responsibility and duty. They take their responsibilities very seriously, and can be counted on to follow through. For this reason, people naturally tend to rely on them. The ISFJ has a difficult time saying "no" when asked to do something, and may become over-burdened. In such cases, the ISFJ does not usually express their difficulties to others, because they intensely dislike conflict, and because they tend to place other people's needs over their own. The ISFJ needs to learn to identify, value, and express their own needs, if they wish to avoid becoming over-worked and taken for granted.
ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong", or "I can't do anything right".
The ISFJ is warm, generous, and dependable. They have many special gifts to offer, in their sensitivity to others, and their strong ability to keep things running smoothly. They need to remember to not be overly critical of themselves, and to give themselves some of the warmth and love which they freely dispense to others.
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The Nurturer
As an ISFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you takes things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.
ISFJs live in a world that is concrete and kind. They are truly warm and kind-hearted, and want to believe the best of people. They value harmony and cooperation, and are likely to be very sensitive to other people's feelings. People value the ISFJ for their consideration and awareness, and their ability to bring out the best in others by their firm desire to believe the best.
ISFJs have a rich inner world that is not usually obvious to observers. They constantly take in information about people and situations that is personally important to them, and store it away. This tremendous store of information is usually startlingly accurate, because the ISFJ has an exceptional memory about things that are important to their value systems. It would not be uncommon for the ISFJ to remember a particular facial expression or conversation in precise detail years after the event occured, if the situation made an impression on the ISFJ.
ISFJs have a very clear idea of the way things should be, which they strive to attain. They value security and kindness, and respect traditions and laws. They tend to believe that existing systems are there because they work. Therefore, they're not likely to buy into doing things in a new way, unless they're shown in a concrete way why its better than the established method.
ISFJs learn best by doing, rather than by reading about something in a book, or applying theory. For this reason, they are not likely to be found in fields which require a lot of conceptual analysis or theory. They value practical application. Traditional methods of higher education, which require a lot of theorizing and abstraction, are likely to be a chore for the ISFJ. The ISFJ learns a task best by being shown its practical application. Once the task is learned, and its practical importance is understood, the ISFJ will faithfully and tirelessly carry through the task to completion. The ISFJ is extremely dependable.
The ISFJ has an extremely well-developed sense of space, function, and aesthetic appeal. For that reason, they're likely to have beautifully furnished, functional homes. They make extremely good interior decorators. This special ability, combined with their sensitivity to other's feelings and desires, makes them very likely to be great gift-givers - finding the right gift which will be truly appreciated by the recipient.
More so than other types, ISFJs are extremely aware of their own internal feelings, as well as other people's feelings. They do not usually express their own feelings, keeping things inside. If they are negative feelings, they may build up inside the ISFJ until they turn into firm judgments against individuals which are difficult to unseed, once set. Many ISFJs learn to express themselves, and find outlets for their powerful emotions.
Just as the ISFJ is not likely to express their feelings, they are also not likely to let on that they know how others are feeling. However, they will speak up when they feel another individual really needs help, and in such cases they can truly help others become aware of their feelings.
The ISFJ feels a strong sense of responsibility and duty. They take their responsibilities very seriously, and can be counted on to follow through. For this reason, people naturally tend to rely on them. The ISFJ has a difficult time saying "no" when asked to do something, and may become over-burdened. In such cases, the ISFJ does not usually express their difficulties to others, because they intensely dislike conflict, and because they tend to place other people's needs over their own. The ISFJ needs to learn to identify, value, and express their own needs, if they wish to avoid becoming over-worked and taken for granted.
ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong", or "I can't do anything right".
The ISFJ is warm, generous, and dependable. They have many special gifts to offer, in their sensitivity to others, and their strong ability to keep things running smoothly. They need to remember to not be overly critical of themselves, and to give themselves some of the warmth and love which they freely dispense to others.
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Tuesday, October 28, 2008
reading for the day
Pslams 85:8-13
8 There is none like you among the gods, O Lord, nor are there any works like yours.
9 All the nations you have made shall come and worship before you, O Lord, and shall glorify your name.
10 For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God.
11 Teach me your way, O Lord,that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.
12 I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever.
13 For great is your steadfast love toward me; you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.
Amen!!!
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8 There is none like you among the gods, O Lord, nor are there any works like yours.
9 All the nations you have made shall come and worship before you, O Lord, and shall glorify your name.
10 For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God.
11 Teach me your way, O Lord,that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.
12 I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever.
13 For great is your steadfast love toward me; you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.
Amen!!!
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Monday, October 27, 2008
some random thots
i thank God for the internet, that when I am too lazy to flip open my bible, there is always the online ESV bible.
http://www.gnpcb.org/esv
So much easier to read online. Anywayz, these are random stuffs that came to mind as I continued reading the book of Psalms.
1) God is supposedly the brilliant one, who knows our needs before we verbalise them. But people still cry out to Him for their needs and demands in the bible. Maybe the ownership is on us to ask for what we need, what we want. I think though, we should ask with not the "spoilt child" attitude.
2) The bible says "no good things does he withhold from those who walk uprightly" in Psalm 84. So to paraphrase that, it means that he will give all good things to those who walk uprightly.
Sometimes when I see the phrase "all good things", I pass it off as some generic statement, where the word "ALL" is used loosely but i remember that every word that is used in the bible is significant. So maybe, the Lord did mean "ALL good things"
Having said that, that may also mean that for those who do not walk uprightly, God will withhold some good things from them. That makes sense. People who do not walk uprightly might not necessary have the wisdom and maturity to handle ALL good things, therefore God gives as He deems best, according to how much we can handle? How does that sound? So maybe, sometimes, when we pray for something, the answer is wait. Wait till you are ready to receive.
But then again, is "walking uprightly" something we do, or something that is already done? :) So many things to think about.
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http://www.gnpcb.org/esv
So much easier to read online. Anywayz, these are random stuffs that came to mind as I continued reading the book of Psalms.
1) God is supposedly the brilliant one, who knows our needs before we verbalise them. But people still cry out to Him for their needs and demands in the bible. Maybe the ownership is on us to ask for what we need, what we want. I think though, we should ask with not the "spoilt child" attitude.
2) The bible says "no good things does he withhold from those who walk uprightly" in Psalm 84. So to paraphrase that, it means that he will give all good things to those who walk uprightly.
Sometimes when I see the phrase "all good things", I pass it off as some generic statement, where the word "ALL" is used loosely but i remember that every word that is used in the bible is significant. So maybe, the Lord did mean "ALL good things"
Having said that, that may also mean that for those who do not walk uprightly, God will withhold some good things from them. That makes sense. People who do not walk uprightly might not necessary have the wisdom and maturity to handle ALL good things, therefore God gives as He deems best, according to how much we can handle? How does that sound? So maybe, sometimes, when we pray for something, the answer is wait. Wait till you are ready to receive.
But then again, is "walking uprightly" something we do, or something that is already done? :) So many things to think about.
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Sunday, October 26, 2008
God has done great things. He is still doing great things.
I was sharing with a friend yesterday about how God has a very good track record in my life, especially in the aspect of work. I usually would take a longer time to get the testimony out of my mouth, but yesterday, it came out pretty quickly and smoothly.
I was then reminded the reason why I had little problem telling that was because I had retold that quite a few times already. That brought me to this thought: Don't I have anything new to share about how God has continued to be faithful in the everyday life I am living? He's a God who is alive, and working all the time. Why do I have to keep bringing up what He had done in the past? That's important, but if that is all others are going to hear over time, the testimony grows stale and God will seem to be the God who had done great and powerful things, not the God who is a living God, who is still doing great things.
I need to center my life around Jesus again. I had been too distracted by the things that I want to do which may not necessarily be time used productively. I am not saying that I shouldn't have fun at all. But maybe, I am just having too much fun.
I am thankful for this long weekend though. I really am very very very thankful. And I like my ears and face feeling hot, thanks to a 15 minute gulp of one glass of TIGER. One glass is good. No headache.
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I was then reminded the reason why I had little problem telling that was because I had retold that quite a few times already. That brought me to this thought: Don't I have anything new to share about how God has continued to be faithful in the everyday life I am living? He's a God who is alive, and working all the time. Why do I have to keep bringing up what He had done in the past? That's important, but if that is all others are going to hear over time, the testimony grows stale and God will seem to be the God who had done great and powerful things, not the God who is a living God, who is still doing great things.
I need to center my life around Jesus again. I had been too distracted by the things that I want to do which may not necessarily be time used productively. I am not saying that I shouldn't have fun at all. But maybe, I am just having too much fun.
I am thankful for this long weekend though. I really am very very very thankful. And I like my ears and face feeling hot, thanks to a 15 minute gulp of one glass of TIGER. One glass is good. No headache.
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I learnt...
that sometimes, the sentence "Don't be sad, she's in a better place." is a very comforting statement, though it may not be the truth.
Life is so unpredictable, maybe that's why Jesus is not back yet. We still have time. I still have time. I need to learn to be less concerned about my own needs and more concerned about the needs of others.
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Life is so unpredictable, maybe that's why Jesus is not back yet. We still have time. I still have time. I need to learn to be less concerned about my own needs and more concerned about the needs of others.
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Saturday, October 25, 2008
Why there are unhealthy teams - Nancy Ortberg
Common Dysfunctions of Teams
1) Absence of Trust
2) Fear of conflict
3) Lack of commitment
4) Avoidance of Accountability
5) Inattention to Results
Now, this sounds like it applies to relationships too. I shall elaborate more when I have more inspiration. Now I am inspired to sleep. Ciaoz.
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1) Absence of Trust
2) Fear of conflict
3) Lack of commitment
4) Avoidance of Accountability
5) Inattention to Results
Now, this sounds like it applies to relationships too. I shall elaborate more when I have more inspiration. Now I am inspired to sleep. Ciaoz.
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The Principles of Empowering within the New Community
1) We can only empower others when we are empowered. - Personal leadership and personal walk with God is important.
2) We can only empower others when there is ownership of a common vision.
3) We can only empower others when there is thirst and readiness.
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2) We can only empower others when there is ownership of a common vision.
3) We can only empower others when there is thirst and readiness.
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interesting statement @ 1.27a.m.
A mediocre strategy well implemented, is better than a great strategy poorly implemented.
hmm.. does that apply to relationships as well?
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hmm.. does that apply to relationships as well?
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shocking news :(
the sister of one of my boys in class passed away suddenly this afternoon. I heard that she was having a fever and collasped in the afternoon. SHe was then sent to NUH when she passed away.
I am quite deeply affected because
1) She is in my PE class.
2) I just saw her yesterday during PE. She wasn't doing PE because she was unwell. The last time I saw her, she asked for permission to go to the toilet.
3) She looks very sweet.
4) She is very sweet.
5) She is in the best class.
6) She represents the school for Volleyball.
7) She is only 11.
She has so much going for her. Sigh. I guess I feel closer to her because she is one student that I spoke to more than others.
I am supposed to go to the wake either on Saturday or Sunday. Sigh.
Praying that her family is doing fine. Got to call my boy tomorrow. :(
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I am quite deeply affected because
1) She is in my PE class.
2) I just saw her yesterday during PE. She wasn't doing PE because she was unwell. The last time I saw her, she asked for permission to go to the toilet.
3) She looks very sweet.
4) She is very sweet.
5) She is in the best class.
6) She represents the school for Volleyball.
7) She is only 11.
She has so much going for her. Sigh. I guess I feel closer to her because she is one student that I spoke to more than others.
I am supposed to go to the wake either on Saturday or Sunday. Sigh.
Praying that her family is doing fine. Got to call my boy tomorrow. :(
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Friday, October 24, 2008
the 12 year old dating mentality
how do people get attached so quickly? I don't understand, because I can't. Maybe the reason is that I am not ready.
I heard from the MT Malay Language teachers that some boys, including some from my class have girlfriends. and some change girlfriends often.
I do not think their status as girlfriends and boyfriends mean they do anything physical. The last time I spoke to my boy who supposedly had a girlfriend, they merely meet after school and spend time talking below their block of flats. No holding hands, nothing. Or maybe he just didn't want to tell me. That's dating right?
Different people have different definitions. Yeh. What constitutes dating anyway? When you date someone, are they already your girlfriend? :) WHen you hang out alone with another friend, are you already dating? haha.. I guess this post welcomes the weekend, where I get to think and think more about bo liao stuff like that.
Off for coffee now.
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I heard from the MT Malay Language teachers that some boys, including some from my class have girlfriends. and some change girlfriends often.
I do not think their status as girlfriends and boyfriends mean they do anything physical. The last time I spoke to my boy who supposedly had a girlfriend, they merely meet after school and spend time talking below their block of flats. No holding hands, nothing. Or maybe he just didn't want to tell me. That's dating right?
Different people have different definitions. Yeh. What constitutes dating anyway? When you date someone, are they already your girlfriend? :) WHen you hang out alone with another friend, are you already dating? haha.. I guess this post welcomes the weekend, where I get to think and think more about bo liao stuff like that.
Off for coffee now.
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Thursday, October 23, 2008
ARGH!
I need patience.... to .. d..e..a..l w...i...t...h my a..n...n...o...y...i..n..g..... .s...i...s...t...e...r. I was irritated with her twice, and raised my voice at her once...... She has been getting on my nerves....
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
She's so controlling, demanding and domineering. I don't like people to control me, especially people whom I do not respect very much.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
And I am not even PMSsing. SO doomed.
Pls pray, peeps. Patience and for me to LOVE her.... THANK YOU.
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arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
She's so controlling, demanding and domineering. I don't like people to control me, especially people whom I do not respect very much.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
And I am not even PMSsing. SO doomed.
Pls pray, peeps. Patience and for me to LOVE her.... THANK YOU.
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Wait. God is not a spoilsport.
there's this friend of mine. She is still recovering from a one year r/s that she went through. For 8 months already. 8 months is a long time. That probably means that the relationship was very intense. Of course, she did say that that was the first woman she has been with. But both of them were friends for 5 years before they got together, and the relationship was still that intense.
Putting all these information together made me think of the reason why I got physically intimate with the people whom I was attracted to rather quickly instead of waiting. I guess the initial feeling of "being in lust/love" is addictive, and it felt good that the other party felt the same way, and wanted the same thing. I guess we didn't want those feelings to fade off without acting on them.
Hearing my friend's story gave me the encouragement that the feelings do not just fade off. Or maybe they do? But real love not influenced by a sense of counterfeit closeness together with intensity is better than just lust and intensity? Self-control is prolly better especially when premature intimacy most likely brings about more complications than good. And I guess I learnt the importance of waiting through my own experiences.
This also makes me relate to how we often want things at our own timing rather than wait for God's perfect timing. It's as if we are telling God that He doesn't know what is good for us, and that we know best what is good for ourselves. But God knows best, doesn't He? And He is supposedly not a spoilsport. Trust in Him, I will continue to train myself to do so. Phew!
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Putting all these information together made me think of the reason why I got physically intimate with the people whom I was attracted to rather quickly instead of waiting. I guess the initial feeling of "being in lust/love" is addictive, and it felt good that the other party felt the same way, and wanted the same thing. I guess we didn't want those feelings to fade off without acting on them.
Hearing my friend's story gave me the encouragement that the feelings do not just fade off. Or maybe they do? But real love not influenced by a sense of counterfeit closeness together with intensity is better than just lust and intensity? Self-control is prolly better especially when premature intimacy most likely brings about more complications than good. And I guess I learnt the importance of waiting through my own experiences.
This also makes me relate to how we often want things at our own timing rather than wait for God's perfect timing. It's as if we are telling God that He doesn't know what is good for us, and that we know best what is good for ourselves. But God knows best, doesn't He? And He is supposedly not a spoilsport. Trust in Him, I will continue to train myself to do so. Phew!
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the power of the Holy Spirit
I met up with J for dinner and ice cream. Like any good christian fellowship, we ended praying for each other. She prayed for my specific needs, those that I shared with her about, and then she continued by praying that she sensed that I am going through some transitions in my life, and she prayed for God's peace to be with me, and that I will head towards where my heart is, but more so towards where God's heart is (something along that line). I needed that. What she prayed for.
She later shared that sometimes, she sees words but she doesn't always have the courage to speak nor pray about it. I think the gifting is present. Now, the idea is to fine-tune this sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. It's very much trial and error, learning from the process, and overtime, one will be able to recognise accurately what is from the Lord, and what is not.
I am in awe, not so much for the content of the prayer, but that God revealed His power through her. He's amazing. Although all christians have the ability to speak words that build up and edify, to reveal needs and give words of wisdom and encouragement, there are certain people with this gifting, that I am sure J has. And I pray that He will use her mightily. Keep walking close to God, J. He will do wonderful things through you.
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She later shared that sometimes, she sees words but she doesn't always have the courage to speak nor pray about it. I think the gifting is present. Now, the idea is to fine-tune this sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. It's very much trial and error, learning from the process, and overtime, one will be able to recognise accurately what is from the Lord, and what is not.
I am in awe, not so much for the content of the prayer, but that God revealed His power through her. He's amazing. Although all christians have the ability to speak words that build up and edify, to reveal needs and give words of wisdom and encouragement, there are certain people with this gifting, that I am sure J has. And I pray that He will use her mightily. Keep walking close to God, J. He will do wonderful things through you.
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How much concern is considered overbearing?
For my kids, I can be concerned to the point where I speak to them like their parents, that I give them the type of information their parents would give them. They require that sort of telling and advice at their age. I tell them to do this, not to do that. I tell them what is good for them, what is not, not so much that I have to be in control but because I care enough to want to tell them what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is not.
For adults, where and how do we draw the line? When do the people whom I care about know that I care a great deal for them without seeming like I am nagging and being overly concerned? How much is enough? How much is too much? How much concern to show so people would not misunderstand my intention? How much concern to show so people will know my intention? How much to persist? How much to let go?
Life is not easy ya? Always praying that God will give me more wisdom, more discernment.
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For adults, where and how do we draw the line? When do the people whom I care about know that I care a great deal for them without seeming like I am nagging and being overly concerned? How much is enough? How much is too much? How much concern to show so people would not misunderstand my intention? How much concern to show so people will know my intention? How much to persist? How much to let go?
Life is not easy ya? Always praying that God will give me more wisdom, more discernment.
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Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The Character of Integrity
Integrity is admitting that you farted. That's all the details I am giving. Hahaha.
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exercise and more exercise
I did 150 sit ups today. The reason why I did that with the kids today was because the PE storeroom's lock was changed and we did not get the new set of keys, and so there weren't any PE equipment. I resorted to doing mat work with the kids. I was contemplating some stretching exercises but decided that the kids might want to work out their muscles more than stretch them in the short 20 minutes lesson they had. They are so going to have their abdominal muscles ache because I taught them this new posture they had to hold for their abs too, in additional to their 2 sets of 30.
I need to be careful though because of my back injury. Whenever I strengthen my abdominal muscles excessively without taking care of my back muscles, something is bound to happen. I will always remember the 9 days bedridden experience and a few more 2 days bedridden experiences.
Speaking about white stuff, I need to get a white grip to make my tennis racket prettier.
My coach was right when he said that I can't keep practising with him, that I got to practise with others because it is through play that I learn more than just skills. I realised that over time, I am getting better at reading the placement of the ball, and that helps me to return more successfully. With my coach, I was happy paying him 40 dollars an hour just to feed me baskets of balls for me to practise my forehand and backhand strokes. It's a good workout, and I am used to isolating skills to practise before going for the real game.
I figured that it is due to my years of training for netball. I remembered I had to practise shooting twice a day, and get at least 95 out of 100 shots into the goal. I remembered also isolating basketball skills like passes, shots, dribbling before playing the whole game. In the recent years, times have changed. We were taught this concept of PLAY practice. Where the kids get exposed to the game through a modification of the game and then we teach them the skills. So this is what I do @ work.
I guess what is most important to me when I teach my kids (when I am in the right mood), is that they learn something new for PE and that they perspire. For English, I know that they understand and can apply what they have learnt. All these gives me the satisfaction when I teach.
I miss playing badminton!!
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I need to be careful though because of my back injury. Whenever I strengthen my abdominal muscles excessively without taking care of my back muscles, something is bound to happen. I will always remember the 9 days bedridden experience and a few more 2 days bedridden experiences.
Speaking about white stuff, I need to get a white grip to make my tennis racket prettier.
My coach was right when he said that I can't keep practising with him, that I got to practise with others because it is through play that I learn more than just skills. I realised that over time, I am getting better at reading the placement of the ball, and that helps me to return more successfully. With my coach, I was happy paying him 40 dollars an hour just to feed me baskets of balls for me to practise my forehand and backhand strokes. It's a good workout, and I am used to isolating skills to practise before going for the real game.
I figured that it is due to my years of training for netball. I remembered I had to practise shooting twice a day, and get at least 95 out of 100 shots into the goal. I remembered also isolating basketball skills like passes, shots, dribbling before playing the whole game. In the recent years, times have changed. We were taught this concept of PLAY practice. Where the kids get exposed to the game through a modification of the game and then we teach them the skills. So this is what I do @ work.
I guess what is most important to me when I teach my kids (when I am in the right mood), is that they learn something new for PE and that they perspire. For English, I know that they understand and can apply what they have learnt. All these gives me the satisfaction when I teach.
I miss playing badminton!!
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10-pointer reminders
I am blogging this from the new laptop. It is so pretty it melts my heart. White stuff makes me happy.
My heart has been very tender this past week. That is good. At times like this, I feel that it is so easy to surrender whatever I have to the Lord. I had a great time worshipping God while leading worship last night too because of that.
Here is an article that someone from Covenant sent me about a year ago. I thought some of the stuff written in here is pretty insightful. If only I read it when I received it. I didn't think I needed to know the 7 habits of defective dating then. Now I know better.
What applies to me in this article:
1) Do not shop when I am hungry. (This means to me that It is not a good idea to want to be in a relationship because we are lonely and incomplete.)
2) Deepening intimacy without defining a level of commitment is hazardous.
3) The fulfillment of intimacy is a byproduct of commitment-based love
4) Friendship is two persons walking together towards a common goal. Their mutual interest brings them together, where the focus is not on couple-ness but the common goal. (For me, I really like it when I can grow with that person by saying, " We are interested in the same things, let's enjoy these common interests together." For a start. )
5) It is difficult to be objective and evaluate the merits of the relationship when physical affection is introduced early in a relationship.
6) If a couple skips the friendship part of the relationship, lust often becomes the common interest in bringing them together.
7) Physical involvement can distort two people’s perspective of each other and lead to unwise choices.
8) Singlehood is a good time to grow with God through serving Him and bettering oneself. Also, in doing that, one is preparing themselves for their future partner, whom God is preparing for you.
9) Dating creates an artificial environment that doesn’t demand a person to accurately portray his or her positive and negative characteristics.
10) Hanging out in groups is recommended to exclusive dating early in the stage where there is mutual interest and attraction.
I like this, though I feel it is too extreme a view, even to me, even for me :) :
In Passion and Purity, Elisabeth Elliot states, “Unless a man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right has he to claim her exclusive attention?
THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY DEFECTIVE DATING
By Joshua Harris
Recognizing dating’s negative tendencies
When I was a kid, my mom taught me two rules of grocery shopping. First, never shop when you’re hungry—everything will look good and you’ll spend too much money. And second, make sure to pick a good cart.
I’ve got the first rule down, but I haven’t had much success with that second rule. I seem to have a knack for picking rusty grocery carts that make clattering noises or ones with squeaky wheels that grate on your nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard.
But by far the worst kind of cart you could pick is the “swerver.” Have you ever dealt with one of these? This kind of cart has a mind of its own. You want to go in a straight line, but the cart wants to swerve to the left and take out the cat food display (And, much to our dismay and embarrassment, it too often succeeds!) The shopper who has chosen a swerving cart can have no peace. Every maneuver, from turning down the cereal aisle to gliding alongside the meat section, becomes a battle—the shopper’s will pitted against the can’s.
Why am I talking to you about shopping carts? Well, I recall my bad luck with grocery carts because many times I’ve experienced a similar “battle of wills” with dating. I’m not talking about conflicts between me and the girls I’ve dated. I mean that I’ve struggled with the whole process. Arid based on my experiences and my exploration of God’s Word, I’ve concluded that for Christians dating is a swerver—a set of values and attitudes that wants to go in a direction different from the one God has mapped out for us. Let me tell you why
SELF.CONTROL ISN’T ENOUGH
I once heard a youth minister speak on the topic of love and sex. He told a heart-rending story about Eric and Jenny, two strong Christians who had actively participated in his youth group years earlier. Eric and Jenny’s dating relationship had started out innocently—Friday nights at the movies and rounds of putt-putt golf. But as time went by, their physical relationship slowly began to accelerate, and they wound up sleeping together. Soon afterward they broke up, discouraged and hurt.
The pastor telling the story saw both of them years later at a high school reunion. Jenny was now married and had a child. Eric was still single. But both came to him separately and expressed emotional trauma and guilt over past memories.
“When I see him, I remember it all so vividly,” Jenny cried.
Eric expressed similar feelings. “‘When I see her, the hurt comes back,” he told his former youth pastor. “The wounds still haven’t healed.”
When the youth minister had finished telling this story you could have heard a pin drop. We all sat waiting for some sort of solution. We knew the reality of the story he told. Some of us had made the same mistake or watched it happen in the lives of our friends. We wanted something better. We wanted the pastor to tell us what we were supposed to do instead.
But he gave no alternative that afternoon. Evidently the pastor thought the couple’s only mistake was giving in to temptation. He seemed to think that Eric and Jenny should have had more respect for each other and more self-control. Although this pastor encouraged a different outcome—saving sex for marriage—he didn’t offer a different practice.
Is this the answer? Head out on the same course as those who have fallen and hope that in the critical moment you’ll be able to stay in control? Giving young people this kind of advice is like giving a person a cart that swerves and sending him into a store stocked with the world’s most expensive Chinaware. Despite the narrow aisles and glass shelves laden with delicate dishes, this person is expected to navigate the rows with a cart known to go off course? I don’t think so.
Yet this is exactly what we try in many of our relationships. We see the failed attempts around us, but we refuse to replace this “cart” called dating. We want to stay on the straight and narrow path and serve God, yet we continue a practice that often pull us in the wrong direction.
DEFECTIVE DATING
Dating has built-in problems, and if we continue to date according to the system as it is today, we’ll more than likely swerve into trouble. Eric and Jenny probably had good intentions, but they founded their relationship on our culture’s defective attitudes and patterns for romance. Unfortunately, even in their adulthood they continue to reap the consequences.
The following “seven habits of highly defective dating” are some of the “swerves” dating relationships often make. Perhaps you can relate to one or two of them. (I know I can!)
1. Dating leads to intimacy but not necessarily to commitment
Jayme was a junior in high school; her boyfriend, Troy, was a senior. Troy was everything Jayme ever wanted in a guy, and for eight months they were inseparable. But two months before Troy left for college, he abruptly announced that he didn’t want to see Jayme anymore.
“When we broke up it was definitely the toughest thing that’s ever happened to me,” Jayme told me afterward. Even though they’d never physically gone beyond a kiss, Jayme had completely given her heart and emotions to Troy. Troy had enjoyed the intimacy while it served his needs but then rejected her when he was ready to move on.
Does Jayme’s story sound familiar to you? Perhaps you’ve heard something similar from a friend, or maybe you’ve experienced it yourself. Like many dating relationships, Jayme and Troy’s became intimate with little or no thought about commitment or how either of them would be affected when it ended. We can blame Troy for being a jerk, but let’s ask ourselves a question. What’s really the point of most dating relationships? Often dating encourages intimacy for the sake of intimacy— two people getting close to each other without any real intention of making a
long-term commitment.
Deepening intimacy without defining a level of commitment is plainly dangerous. It’s like going mountain climbing with a partner who isn’t sure that she wants the responsibility of holding your rope. When you’ve climbed two thousand feet up a mountain face, you don’t want to have a conversation about how she feels “tied down” by your relationship. In the same way, many people experience deep hurt when they open themselves up emotionally and physically only to be abandoned by others who proclaim they’re not ready for “serious commitment.”
An intimate relationship is a beautiful experience that God wants us to enjoy But He has made the fulfillment of intimacy a byproduct of commitment-based love. You might say that intimacy between a man and a woman is the icing on the cake of a relationship headed toward marriage.
And if we look at intimacy that way, then most dating relationships are pure icing. They usually lack a purpose or clear destination. In most cases, especially in high school, dating is short term, serving the needs of the moment. People date because they want to enjoy the emotional and even physical benefits of intimacy without the responsibility of real commitment.
In fact, that’s what the original revolution of dating was all about. Dating hasn’t been around forever. As I see it, dating is a product of our entertainment-driven, “disposable-everything” American culture. Long before Seventeen magazine ever gave teenagers tips on dating, people did things very differently.
At the turn of the twentieth century a guy and girl became romantically involved only if they planned to marry. If a young man spent time at a girl’s home, family and friends assumed that he intended to propose to her. But shifting attitudes in culture and the arrival of the automobile brought radical changes. The new “rules” allowed people to indulge in all the thrills of romantic love without having any intention of marriage. Author Beth Bailey documents these changes in a book whose title, From Front Porch to Backseat, says everything about the difference in society’s attitude when dating became the norm. Love and romance became things people could enjoy solely for their recreational value.
Though much has changed since the 1920s, the tendency of dating relationships to move toward intimacy without commitment remains very much the same.
For Christians this negative swerve is at the root of dating’s problems. Intimacy without commitment awakens desires— emotional and physical—that neither person can justly meet. In 1 Thessalonians 4:6 (KJV) the Bible calls this “defrauding7 ripping someone off by raising expectations but not delivering on the promise. Pastor Stephen Olford describes defrauding as “arousing a hunger we cannot righteously satisfy”—promising something we cannot or will not provide.
Intimacy without commitment, like icing without cake, can be sweet, but it ends up making us sick.
2. Dating tends to skip the ‘friendship” stage of a relationship.
Jack met Libby on a church-sponsored college retreat. Libby was a friendly girl with a reputation for taking her relationship with God seriously Jack and Libby wound up chatting during a game of volleyball and seemed to really hit it off. Jack wasn’t interested in an intense relationship, but he wanted to get to know Libby better. Two days after the retreat he called her up and asked if she’d like to go out to a movie the next weekend. She said yes.
Did Jack make the right move? Well, he did in terms of scoring a date, but if he really wanted to build a friendship, he more than likely struck out. One-on-one dating has the tendency to move a guy and girl beyond friendship and toward romance too quickly
Have you ever known someone who worried about dating a long-time friend? If you have, you’ve probably heard that person say something like this: “He asked me out, but I’m just afraid that if we start actually dating it will change our friendship.” What is this person really saying? People who make statements like that, whether or not they realize it, recognize that dating encourages romantic expectations. In a true friendship you don’t feel pressured by knowing you “like” the other person or that he or she “likes” you back. You feel free to be yourself and do things together without spending three hours in front of the mirror, making sure you look perfect.
C. S. Lewis describes friendship as two people walking side by side toward a common goal. Their mutual interest brings them together. Jack skipped this “commonality” stage by asking Libby out on a typical, no-brainer, dinner-and-movie date where their “coupleness” was the focus.
In dating, romantic attraction is often the relationship’s cornerstone. The premise of dating is “I’m attracted to you; therefore, let’s get to know each other.” The premise of friendship, on the other hand, is “We’re interested in the same things; let’s enjoy these common interests together.” If, after developing a friendship, romantic attraction forms, that’s an added bonus.
Intimacy without commitment is defrauding. Intimacy without friendship is superficial. A relationship based only on physical attraction and romantic feelings will last only as long as the feelings last.
3. Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love.
Dave and Heidi didn’t mean to make out with each other on their first date. Really Dave doesn’t have “only one thing on his mind,” and Heidi isn’t “that kind of girl.” It just happened. They had gone to a concert together and afterward watched a video at Heidi’s house. During the movie, Heidi made a joke about Dave’s attempt at dancing during the concert. He started tickling her. Their playful wrestling suddenly stopped when they found themselves staring into each other’s eyes as Dave was leaning over her on the living room floor. They kissed. It was like something out of a movie. It felt so right.
It may have felt right, but the early introduction of physical affection to their relationship added confusion. Dave and Heidi hadn’t really gotten to know each other, but suddenly they felt close. As the relationship progressed, they found it difficult to remain objective. Whenever they’d try to evaluate the merits of their relationship, they’d immediately picture the intimacy and passion of their physical relationship. “It’s so obvious we love each other,” Heidi thought. But did they? Just because lips have met doesn’t mean hearts have joined. And just because two bodies are drawn to each other doesn’t mean two people are right for each other. A physical relationship doesn’t equal love.
When we consider that our culture as a whole regards the words “love” and “sex” as interchangeable, we shouldn’t be surprised that many dating relationships mistake physical attraction and sexual intimacy for true love. Sadly, many Christian dating relationships reflect this false mind-set.
When we examine the progression of most relationships, we can clearly see how dating encourages this substitution. First, as we pointed out, dating does not always lead to lifelong commitment. For this reason, many dating relationships begin with physical attraction; the underlying attitude is that a person’s primary value comes from the way he or she looks and performs as a date. Even before a kiss has been given, the physical, sensual aspect of the relationship has taken priority
Next, the relationship often steamrolls toward intimacy Because dating doesn’t require commitment, the two people involved allow the needs and passions of the moment to take center stage. The couple doesn’t look at each other as possible life partners or weigh the responsibilities of marriage. Instead, they focus on the demands of the present. And with that mindset, the couple’s physical relationship can easily become the focus.
And if a guy and girl skip the friendship stage of their relationship, lust often becomes the common interest that brings the couple together. As a result, they gauge the seriousness of their relationship by the level of their physical involvement. Two people who date each other want to feel that they’re special to each other, and they can concretely express this through physical intimacy They begin to distinguish their “special relationship” through hand holding, kissing, and everything else that follows. For this reason, most people believe that going out with someone means physical involvement.
Focusing on the physical is plainly sinful. God demands sexual purity And He does this for our own good. Physical involvement can distort two people’s perspective of each other and lead to unwise choices. God also knows we’ll carry the memories of our past physical involvements into marriage. He doesn’t want us to live with guilt and regret.
Physical involvement can make two people feel close. But if many people in dating relationships really examined the focus of their relationships, they’d probably discover that all they have in common is lust.
4. Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships.
While Garreth and Jenny were dating, they didn’t need anyone else. Since it meant spending time with Jenny, Garreth had no problem giving up Wednesday night Bible study with the guys. Jenny didn’t think twice about how little she talked to her younger sister and mother now that she was dating Garreth. Nor did she realize that when she did talk to them, she always started her sentences with “Garreth this...” and “Garreth said such and such...” Without intending to, both had foolishly and selfishly cut themselves off from other relationships.
By its very definition, dating is about two people focusing on each other. Unfortunately, in most cases the rest of the world fades into the background. If you’ve ever felt like a third wheel hanging out with two friends who are dating each other, you know how true this is.
Granted, of all dating’s problems, this one is probably the easiest to fix. Yet Christians still need to take it seriously. Why? First, because when we allow one relationship to crowd out others, we lose perspective. In Proverbs 15:22 we read, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” If we make our decisions about life based solely on the influence of one relationship, we’ll probably make poor judgments.
Of course we make this same mistake in any number of non-romantic relationships. But we face this problem more often in dating relationships because these relationships involve our hearts and emotions. And because dating focuses on the plans of a couple, major issues related to marriage, family, and faith are likely at stake.
And if two people haven’t defined their level of commitment, they’re particularly at risk. You put yourself in a precarious position if you isolate yourself from the people who love and support you because you dive wholeheartedly into a romantic relationship not grounded in commitment. In Passion and Purity, Elisabeth Elliot states, “Unless a man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right has he to claim her exclusive attention? Unless she has been asked to marry him, why would a sensible woman promise any man her exclusive attention?” How many people end dating relationships only to find their ties to other friends severed?
When Garreth and Jenny mutually decided to stop dating, they were surprised to find their other friendships in disrepair. It’s not that their other friends didn’t like them; they hardly knew them anymore. Neither had invested any time or effort in maintaining these friendships while they concentrated on their dating relationship.
Perhaps you’ve done a similar thing. Or maybe you know the pain and frustration of being put on the back burner for the sake of a friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend. The exclusive attention so often expected in dating relationships has a tendency to steal people’s passion for serving in the church and to isolate them from the friends who love them most, family members who know them best, and, sadly, even God, whose will is far more important than any romantic interest.
5. Dating, in many cases, distracts young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future.
We cannot live in the future, but neglecting our current obligations will disqualify us for tomorrow’s responsibilities. Being distracted by love is not such a bad thing—unless God wants you to be doing something else.
One of the saddest tendencies of dating is to distract young adults from developing their God-given abilities and skills. Instead of equipping themselves with the character, education, and experience necessary to succeed in life, many allow themselves to be consumed by the present needs that dating emphasizes.
Christopher and Stephanie started dating when they were both fifteen years old. In many ways, they had the model dating relationship. They never got involved physically and when they broke up two years later, their breakup was amicable. So what harm was done? Well, none in the sense that they didn’t get into trouble. But we can begin to see some problems when we look at what Christopher and Stephanie could have been doing instead. Maintaining a relationship takes a lot of time and energy Christopher and Stephanie spent countless hours talking, writing, thinking, and often worrying about their relationship. The energy they exerted stole from other pursuits.
For Christopher, the relationship drained his enthusiasm for his hobby of computer programming and his involvement with the church’s worship band. Though Stephanie doesn’t hold it against Christopher, she rejected several opportunities to go on short-term missions because she didn’t want to be away from him. Their relationship swallowed up time both of them could have spent developing skills and exploring new opportunities.
Dating may help you practice being a good boyfriend or girlfriend, but what are these skills really worth? Even if you’re going out with the person you will one day marry a preoccupation with being the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend now can actually hinder you from being the future husband or wife that person will one day need.
6. Dating can cause discontentment with God’s gift of singleness.
On my brother’s third birthday, he received a beautiful blue bicycle. The miniature bike was brand-new, complete with training wheels, protective padding, and streamers. I thought he couldn’t ask for a better first bike, and I couldn’t wait to see his reaction.
But to my chagrin my brother didn’t seem impressed with the present. When my dad pulled the bike out of its large cardboard box, my brother looked at it a moment, smiled, then began playing with the box. It took my family and me a few days to convince him that the real gift was the bike.
I can’t help but think that God views our infatuation with short-term dating relationships much as I did my brother’s love for a worthless box. A string of uncommitted dating relationships is not the gift! God gives us singleness—a season of our lives unmatched in its boundless opportunities for growth, learning, and service—and we view it as a chance to get bogged down in finding and keeping boyfriends and girlfriends. But we don’t find the real beauty of singleness in pursuing romance with as many different people as we want. We find the real beauty in using our freedom to serve God with abandon.
Dating causes dissatisfaction because it encourages a wrong use of this freedom. God has placed a desire in most men and women for marriage. Although we don’t sin when we look forward to marriage, we might be guilty of poor stewardship of our singleness when we allow a desire for something God obviously doesn’t have for us yet to rob our ability to enjoy and appreciate what He has given us. Dating plays a role in fostering this dissatisfaction because it gives single people just enough intimacy to make them wish they had more. Instead of enjoying the unique qualities of singleness, dating causes people to focus on what they don’t have.
7. Dating creates an artificial environment for evaluating another person’s character
Although most dating relationships don’t head toward marriage, some—especially those among older, college-age students—are motivated by marriage. People who sincerely want to find out if someone is potential marriage material need to understand that typical dating actually hinders that process. Dating creates an artificial environment for two people to interact. As a result, each person can easily convey an equally artificial image.
In the driveway of our house we have a basketball hoop that we can adjust to different heights. When I lower the hoop three feet from its normal setting, I can look like a pretty good basketball player. Dunking is no problem. I glide across the pavement and slam the ball down every time. But my “skill” exists only because I’ve lowered the standards-—I’m not playing in a real environment. Put me on a court with a ten-foot hoop, and I’m back to being a white boy who can’t jump.
In a similar way, dating creates an artificial environment that doesn’t demand a person to accurately portray his or her positive and negative characteristics. On a date, a person can charm his or her way into a date’s heart. He drives a nice car and pays for everything; she looks great. But who cares? Being fun on a date doesn’t say anything about a person’s character or ability to be a good husband or wife.
Part of the reason dating is fun is that it gives us a break from real life. For this reason, when I’m married I plan to make a habit of dating my wife. In marriage, you need to take breaks from the stress of kids and work; you need to just get away for a bit. But two people weighing the possibility of marriage need to make sure they don’t just interact within the fun, romantic settings of dating. Their priority shouldn’t be to get away from real life; they need a strong dose of objective reality! They need to see each other in the real-life settings of family and friends. They need to watch each other serving and working. How does he interact with the people who know him best? How does she react when things don’t go perfectly? When considering a potential mate, we need to find the answers to these kinds of questions—questions that dating won’t answer.
OLD HABITS DIE HARD
The seven habits of highly defective dating reveal that we can’t fix many of dating’s problems by merely “dating fight.” I believe that dating has dangerous tendencies that don’t go away just because Christians do the steering. And even those Christians who can avoid the major pitfalls of premarital sex and traumatic breakups often spend much of their energy wrestling with temptation.
If you’ve dated, this probably sounds familiar to you. I think that for too long we’ve approached relationships using the world’s mind-set and values, and if you’ve tried it, you might agree with me that it just doesn’t work. Let’s not waste any more time battling the swerving cart of dating. It’s time for a new attitude.
.
My heart has been very tender this past week. That is good. At times like this, I feel that it is so easy to surrender whatever I have to the Lord. I had a great time worshipping God while leading worship last night too because of that.
Here is an article that someone from Covenant sent me about a year ago. I thought some of the stuff written in here is pretty insightful. If only I read it when I received it. I didn't think I needed to know the 7 habits of defective dating then. Now I know better.
What applies to me in this article:
1) Do not shop when I am hungry. (This means to me that It is not a good idea to want to be in a relationship because we are lonely and incomplete.)
2) Deepening intimacy without defining a level of commitment is hazardous.
3) The fulfillment of intimacy is a byproduct of commitment-based love
4) Friendship is two persons walking together towards a common goal. Their mutual interest brings them together, where the focus is not on couple-ness but the common goal. (For me, I really like it when I can grow with that person by saying, " We are interested in the same things, let's enjoy these common interests together." For a start. )
5) It is difficult to be objective and evaluate the merits of the relationship when physical affection is introduced early in a relationship.
6) If a couple skips the friendship part of the relationship, lust often becomes the common interest in bringing them together.
7) Physical involvement can distort two people’s perspective of each other and lead to unwise choices.
8) Singlehood is a good time to grow with God through serving Him and bettering oneself. Also, in doing that, one is preparing themselves for their future partner, whom God is preparing for you.
9) Dating creates an artificial environment that doesn’t demand a person to accurately portray his or her positive and negative characteristics.
10) Hanging out in groups is recommended to exclusive dating early in the stage where there is mutual interest and attraction.
I like this, though I feel it is too extreme a view, even to me, even for me :) :
In Passion and Purity, Elisabeth Elliot states, “Unless a man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right has he to claim her exclusive attention?
THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY DEFECTIVE DATING
By Joshua Harris
Recognizing dating’s negative tendencies
When I was a kid, my mom taught me two rules of grocery shopping. First, never shop when you’re hungry—everything will look good and you’ll spend too much money. And second, make sure to pick a good cart.
I’ve got the first rule down, but I haven’t had much success with that second rule. I seem to have a knack for picking rusty grocery carts that make clattering noises or ones with squeaky wheels that grate on your nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard.
But by far the worst kind of cart you could pick is the “swerver.” Have you ever dealt with one of these? This kind of cart has a mind of its own. You want to go in a straight line, but the cart wants to swerve to the left and take out the cat food display (And, much to our dismay and embarrassment, it too often succeeds!) The shopper who has chosen a swerving cart can have no peace. Every maneuver, from turning down the cereal aisle to gliding alongside the meat section, becomes a battle—the shopper’s will pitted against the can’s.
Why am I talking to you about shopping carts? Well, I recall my bad luck with grocery carts because many times I’ve experienced a similar “battle of wills” with dating. I’m not talking about conflicts between me and the girls I’ve dated. I mean that I’ve struggled with the whole process. Arid based on my experiences and my exploration of God’s Word, I’ve concluded that for Christians dating is a swerver—a set of values and attitudes that wants to go in a direction different from the one God has mapped out for us. Let me tell you why
SELF.CONTROL ISN’T ENOUGH
I once heard a youth minister speak on the topic of love and sex. He told a heart-rending story about Eric and Jenny, two strong Christians who had actively participated in his youth group years earlier. Eric and Jenny’s dating relationship had started out innocently—Friday nights at the movies and rounds of putt-putt golf. But as time went by, their physical relationship slowly began to accelerate, and they wound up sleeping together. Soon afterward they broke up, discouraged and hurt.
The pastor telling the story saw both of them years later at a high school reunion. Jenny was now married and had a child. Eric was still single. But both came to him separately and expressed emotional trauma and guilt over past memories.
“When I see him, I remember it all so vividly,” Jenny cried.
Eric expressed similar feelings. “‘When I see her, the hurt comes back,” he told his former youth pastor. “The wounds still haven’t healed.”
When the youth minister had finished telling this story you could have heard a pin drop. We all sat waiting for some sort of solution. We knew the reality of the story he told. Some of us had made the same mistake or watched it happen in the lives of our friends. We wanted something better. We wanted the pastor to tell us what we were supposed to do instead.
But he gave no alternative that afternoon. Evidently the pastor thought the couple’s only mistake was giving in to temptation. He seemed to think that Eric and Jenny should have had more respect for each other and more self-control. Although this pastor encouraged a different outcome—saving sex for marriage—he didn’t offer a different practice.
Is this the answer? Head out on the same course as those who have fallen and hope that in the critical moment you’ll be able to stay in control? Giving young people this kind of advice is like giving a person a cart that swerves and sending him into a store stocked with the world’s most expensive Chinaware. Despite the narrow aisles and glass shelves laden with delicate dishes, this person is expected to navigate the rows with a cart known to go off course? I don’t think so.
Yet this is exactly what we try in many of our relationships. We see the failed attempts around us, but we refuse to replace this “cart” called dating. We want to stay on the straight and narrow path and serve God, yet we continue a practice that often pull us in the wrong direction.
DEFECTIVE DATING
Dating has built-in problems, and if we continue to date according to the system as it is today, we’ll more than likely swerve into trouble. Eric and Jenny probably had good intentions, but they founded their relationship on our culture’s defective attitudes and patterns for romance. Unfortunately, even in their adulthood they continue to reap the consequences.
The following “seven habits of highly defective dating” are some of the “swerves” dating relationships often make. Perhaps you can relate to one or two of them. (I know I can!)
1. Dating leads to intimacy but not necessarily to commitment
Jayme was a junior in high school; her boyfriend, Troy, was a senior. Troy was everything Jayme ever wanted in a guy, and for eight months they were inseparable. But two months before Troy left for college, he abruptly announced that he didn’t want to see Jayme anymore.
“When we broke up it was definitely the toughest thing that’s ever happened to me,” Jayme told me afterward. Even though they’d never physically gone beyond a kiss, Jayme had completely given her heart and emotions to Troy. Troy had enjoyed the intimacy while it served his needs but then rejected her when he was ready to move on.
Does Jayme’s story sound familiar to you? Perhaps you’ve heard something similar from a friend, or maybe you’ve experienced it yourself. Like many dating relationships, Jayme and Troy’s became intimate with little or no thought about commitment or how either of them would be affected when it ended. We can blame Troy for being a jerk, but let’s ask ourselves a question. What’s really the point of most dating relationships? Often dating encourages intimacy for the sake of intimacy— two people getting close to each other without any real intention of making a
long-term commitment.
Deepening intimacy without defining a level of commitment is plainly dangerous. It’s like going mountain climbing with a partner who isn’t sure that she wants the responsibility of holding your rope. When you’ve climbed two thousand feet up a mountain face, you don’t want to have a conversation about how she feels “tied down” by your relationship. In the same way, many people experience deep hurt when they open themselves up emotionally and physically only to be abandoned by others who proclaim they’re not ready for “serious commitment.”
An intimate relationship is a beautiful experience that God wants us to enjoy But He has made the fulfillment of intimacy a byproduct of commitment-based love. You might say that intimacy between a man and a woman is the icing on the cake of a relationship headed toward marriage.
And if we look at intimacy that way, then most dating relationships are pure icing. They usually lack a purpose or clear destination. In most cases, especially in high school, dating is short term, serving the needs of the moment. People date because they want to enjoy the emotional and even physical benefits of intimacy without the responsibility of real commitment.
In fact, that’s what the original revolution of dating was all about. Dating hasn’t been around forever. As I see it, dating is a product of our entertainment-driven, “disposable-everything” American culture. Long before Seventeen magazine ever gave teenagers tips on dating, people did things very differently.
At the turn of the twentieth century a guy and girl became romantically involved only if they planned to marry. If a young man spent time at a girl’s home, family and friends assumed that he intended to propose to her. But shifting attitudes in culture and the arrival of the automobile brought radical changes. The new “rules” allowed people to indulge in all the thrills of romantic love without having any intention of marriage. Author Beth Bailey documents these changes in a book whose title, From Front Porch to Backseat, says everything about the difference in society’s attitude when dating became the norm. Love and romance became things people could enjoy solely for their recreational value.
Though much has changed since the 1920s, the tendency of dating relationships to move toward intimacy without commitment remains very much the same.
For Christians this negative swerve is at the root of dating’s problems. Intimacy without commitment awakens desires— emotional and physical—that neither person can justly meet. In 1 Thessalonians 4:6 (KJV) the Bible calls this “defrauding7 ripping someone off by raising expectations but not delivering on the promise. Pastor Stephen Olford describes defrauding as “arousing a hunger we cannot righteously satisfy”—promising something we cannot or will not provide.
Intimacy without commitment, like icing without cake, can be sweet, but it ends up making us sick.
2. Dating tends to skip the ‘friendship” stage of a relationship.
Jack met Libby on a church-sponsored college retreat. Libby was a friendly girl with a reputation for taking her relationship with God seriously Jack and Libby wound up chatting during a game of volleyball and seemed to really hit it off. Jack wasn’t interested in an intense relationship, but he wanted to get to know Libby better. Two days after the retreat he called her up and asked if she’d like to go out to a movie the next weekend. She said yes.
Did Jack make the right move? Well, he did in terms of scoring a date, but if he really wanted to build a friendship, he more than likely struck out. One-on-one dating has the tendency to move a guy and girl beyond friendship and toward romance too quickly
Have you ever known someone who worried about dating a long-time friend? If you have, you’ve probably heard that person say something like this: “He asked me out, but I’m just afraid that if we start actually dating it will change our friendship.” What is this person really saying? People who make statements like that, whether or not they realize it, recognize that dating encourages romantic expectations. In a true friendship you don’t feel pressured by knowing you “like” the other person or that he or she “likes” you back. You feel free to be yourself and do things together without spending three hours in front of the mirror, making sure you look perfect.
C. S. Lewis describes friendship as two people walking side by side toward a common goal. Their mutual interest brings them together. Jack skipped this “commonality” stage by asking Libby out on a typical, no-brainer, dinner-and-movie date where their “coupleness” was the focus.
In dating, romantic attraction is often the relationship’s cornerstone. The premise of dating is “I’m attracted to you; therefore, let’s get to know each other.” The premise of friendship, on the other hand, is “We’re interested in the same things; let’s enjoy these common interests together.” If, after developing a friendship, romantic attraction forms, that’s an added bonus.
Intimacy without commitment is defrauding. Intimacy without friendship is superficial. A relationship based only on physical attraction and romantic feelings will last only as long as the feelings last.
3. Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love.
Dave and Heidi didn’t mean to make out with each other on their first date. Really Dave doesn’t have “only one thing on his mind,” and Heidi isn’t “that kind of girl.” It just happened. They had gone to a concert together and afterward watched a video at Heidi’s house. During the movie, Heidi made a joke about Dave’s attempt at dancing during the concert. He started tickling her. Their playful wrestling suddenly stopped when they found themselves staring into each other’s eyes as Dave was leaning over her on the living room floor. They kissed. It was like something out of a movie. It felt so right.
It may have felt right, but the early introduction of physical affection to their relationship added confusion. Dave and Heidi hadn’t really gotten to know each other, but suddenly they felt close. As the relationship progressed, they found it difficult to remain objective. Whenever they’d try to evaluate the merits of their relationship, they’d immediately picture the intimacy and passion of their physical relationship. “It’s so obvious we love each other,” Heidi thought. But did they? Just because lips have met doesn’t mean hearts have joined. And just because two bodies are drawn to each other doesn’t mean two people are right for each other. A physical relationship doesn’t equal love.
When we consider that our culture as a whole regards the words “love” and “sex” as interchangeable, we shouldn’t be surprised that many dating relationships mistake physical attraction and sexual intimacy for true love. Sadly, many Christian dating relationships reflect this false mind-set.
When we examine the progression of most relationships, we can clearly see how dating encourages this substitution. First, as we pointed out, dating does not always lead to lifelong commitment. For this reason, many dating relationships begin with physical attraction; the underlying attitude is that a person’s primary value comes from the way he or she looks and performs as a date. Even before a kiss has been given, the physical, sensual aspect of the relationship has taken priority
Next, the relationship often steamrolls toward intimacy Because dating doesn’t require commitment, the two people involved allow the needs and passions of the moment to take center stage. The couple doesn’t look at each other as possible life partners or weigh the responsibilities of marriage. Instead, they focus on the demands of the present. And with that mindset, the couple’s physical relationship can easily become the focus.
And if a guy and girl skip the friendship stage of their relationship, lust often becomes the common interest that brings the couple together. As a result, they gauge the seriousness of their relationship by the level of their physical involvement. Two people who date each other want to feel that they’re special to each other, and they can concretely express this through physical intimacy They begin to distinguish their “special relationship” through hand holding, kissing, and everything else that follows. For this reason, most people believe that going out with someone means physical involvement.
Focusing on the physical is plainly sinful. God demands sexual purity And He does this for our own good. Physical involvement can distort two people’s perspective of each other and lead to unwise choices. God also knows we’ll carry the memories of our past physical involvements into marriage. He doesn’t want us to live with guilt and regret.
Physical involvement can make two people feel close. But if many people in dating relationships really examined the focus of their relationships, they’d probably discover that all they have in common is lust.
4. Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships.
While Garreth and Jenny were dating, they didn’t need anyone else. Since it meant spending time with Jenny, Garreth had no problem giving up Wednesday night Bible study with the guys. Jenny didn’t think twice about how little she talked to her younger sister and mother now that she was dating Garreth. Nor did she realize that when she did talk to them, she always started her sentences with “Garreth this...” and “Garreth said such and such...” Without intending to, both had foolishly and selfishly cut themselves off from other relationships.
By its very definition, dating is about two people focusing on each other. Unfortunately, in most cases the rest of the world fades into the background. If you’ve ever felt like a third wheel hanging out with two friends who are dating each other, you know how true this is.
Granted, of all dating’s problems, this one is probably the easiest to fix. Yet Christians still need to take it seriously. Why? First, because when we allow one relationship to crowd out others, we lose perspective. In Proverbs 15:22 we read, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” If we make our decisions about life based solely on the influence of one relationship, we’ll probably make poor judgments.
Of course we make this same mistake in any number of non-romantic relationships. But we face this problem more often in dating relationships because these relationships involve our hearts and emotions. And because dating focuses on the plans of a couple, major issues related to marriage, family, and faith are likely at stake.
And if two people haven’t defined their level of commitment, they’re particularly at risk. You put yourself in a precarious position if you isolate yourself from the people who love and support you because you dive wholeheartedly into a romantic relationship not grounded in commitment. In Passion and Purity, Elisabeth Elliot states, “Unless a man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right has he to claim her exclusive attention? Unless she has been asked to marry him, why would a sensible woman promise any man her exclusive attention?” How many people end dating relationships only to find their ties to other friends severed?
When Garreth and Jenny mutually decided to stop dating, they were surprised to find their other friendships in disrepair. It’s not that their other friends didn’t like them; they hardly knew them anymore. Neither had invested any time or effort in maintaining these friendships while they concentrated on their dating relationship.
Perhaps you’ve done a similar thing. Or maybe you know the pain and frustration of being put on the back burner for the sake of a friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend. The exclusive attention so often expected in dating relationships has a tendency to steal people’s passion for serving in the church and to isolate them from the friends who love them most, family members who know them best, and, sadly, even God, whose will is far more important than any romantic interest.
5. Dating, in many cases, distracts young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future.
We cannot live in the future, but neglecting our current obligations will disqualify us for tomorrow’s responsibilities. Being distracted by love is not such a bad thing—unless God wants you to be doing something else.
One of the saddest tendencies of dating is to distract young adults from developing their God-given abilities and skills. Instead of equipping themselves with the character, education, and experience necessary to succeed in life, many allow themselves to be consumed by the present needs that dating emphasizes.
Christopher and Stephanie started dating when they were both fifteen years old. In many ways, they had the model dating relationship. They never got involved physically and when they broke up two years later, their breakup was amicable. So what harm was done? Well, none in the sense that they didn’t get into trouble. But we can begin to see some problems when we look at what Christopher and Stephanie could have been doing instead. Maintaining a relationship takes a lot of time and energy Christopher and Stephanie spent countless hours talking, writing, thinking, and often worrying about their relationship. The energy they exerted stole from other pursuits.
For Christopher, the relationship drained his enthusiasm for his hobby of computer programming and his involvement with the church’s worship band. Though Stephanie doesn’t hold it against Christopher, she rejected several opportunities to go on short-term missions because she didn’t want to be away from him. Their relationship swallowed up time both of them could have spent developing skills and exploring new opportunities.
Dating may help you practice being a good boyfriend or girlfriend, but what are these skills really worth? Even if you’re going out with the person you will one day marry a preoccupation with being the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend now can actually hinder you from being the future husband or wife that person will one day need.
6. Dating can cause discontentment with God’s gift of singleness.
On my brother’s third birthday, he received a beautiful blue bicycle. The miniature bike was brand-new, complete with training wheels, protective padding, and streamers. I thought he couldn’t ask for a better first bike, and I couldn’t wait to see his reaction.
But to my chagrin my brother didn’t seem impressed with the present. When my dad pulled the bike out of its large cardboard box, my brother looked at it a moment, smiled, then began playing with the box. It took my family and me a few days to convince him that the real gift was the bike.
I can’t help but think that God views our infatuation with short-term dating relationships much as I did my brother’s love for a worthless box. A string of uncommitted dating relationships is not the gift! God gives us singleness—a season of our lives unmatched in its boundless opportunities for growth, learning, and service—and we view it as a chance to get bogged down in finding and keeping boyfriends and girlfriends. But we don’t find the real beauty of singleness in pursuing romance with as many different people as we want. We find the real beauty in using our freedom to serve God with abandon.
Dating causes dissatisfaction because it encourages a wrong use of this freedom. God has placed a desire in most men and women for marriage. Although we don’t sin when we look forward to marriage, we might be guilty of poor stewardship of our singleness when we allow a desire for something God obviously doesn’t have for us yet to rob our ability to enjoy and appreciate what He has given us. Dating plays a role in fostering this dissatisfaction because it gives single people just enough intimacy to make them wish they had more. Instead of enjoying the unique qualities of singleness, dating causes people to focus on what they don’t have.
7. Dating creates an artificial environment for evaluating another person’s character
Although most dating relationships don’t head toward marriage, some—especially those among older, college-age students—are motivated by marriage. People who sincerely want to find out if someone is potential marriage material need to understand that typical dating actually hinders that process. Dating creates an artificial environment for two people to interact. As a result, each person can easily convey an equally artificial image.
In the driveway of our house we have a basketball hoop that we can adjust to different heights. When I lower the hoop three feet from its normal setting, I can look like a pretty good basketball player. Dunking is no problem. I glide across the pavement and slam the ball down every time. But my “skill” exists only because I’ve lowered the standards-—I’m not playing in a real environment. Put me on a court with a ten-foot hoop, and I’m back to being a white boy who can’t jump.
In a similar way, dating creates an artificial environment that doesn’t demand a person to accurately portray his or her positive and negative characteristics. On a date, a person can charm his or her way into a date’s heart. He drives a nice car and pays for everything; she looks great. But who cares? Being fun on a date doesn’t say anything about a person’s character or ability to be a good husband or wife.
Part of the reason dating is fun is that it gives us a break from real life. For this reason, when I’m married I plan to make a habit of dating my wife. In marriage, you need to take breaks from the stress of kids and work; you need to just get away for a bit. But two people weighing the possibility of marriage need to make sure they don’t just interact within the fun, romantic settings of dating. Their priority shouldn’t be to get away from real life; they need a strong dose of objective reality! They need to see each other in the real-life settings of family and friends. They need to watch each other serving and working. How does he interact with the people who know him best? How does she react when things don’t go perfectly? When considering a potential mate, we need to find the answers to these kinds of questions—questions that dating won’t answer.
OLD HABITS DIE HARD
The seven habits of highly defective dating reveal that we can’t fix many of dating’s problems by merely “dating fight.” I believe that dating has dangerous tendencies that don’t go away just because Christians do the steering. And even those Christians who can avoid the major pitfalls of premarital sex and traumatic breakups often spend much of their energy wrestling with temptation.
If you’ve dated, this probably sounds familiar to you. I think that for too long we’ve approached relationships using the world’s mind-set and values, and if you’ve tried it, you might agree with me that it just doesn’t work. Let’s not waste any more time battling the swerving cart of dating. It’s time for a new attitude.
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