Honestly...

It's a hard life. My Friday nights are mostly spent either practising on the bass or doing my assignment. I guess I chose to walk through the open doors. In more ways than one, I pray that the rest of the journey won't be as hard as now. But well, at least my experiences will help someone along the way in time to come. Back to work. Exhausted but not beaten. Well, not totally.
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My 1st test drive

Test drove cars for the first time in my life. I really like the Peugeot 107. It's small, cute, red with white stripes running down the middle of the bonnet and it's cute little butt. 

My very experienced ex-carsaleswoman friend was there to test drive it with me. Though it was a 3 year old car, the milege was 85000km. She suggested against it. And I was sad. Afterall, it's small, cute and affordable. I walked past a cream coloured Nissan march ( the sort which looks like a beetle) nice too but a bit more expensive. It's still affordable but I reluctantly walked away. It's a good decision. Sometimes being at the place of temptations, you can't really think straight. I shouldn't need to buy a car. I could I guess but my priority is saving for my flat at this point in time. Ganbette! :)
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no brainer rambling

I am tired of marking compositions. We were down by 3 markers on our table. 2 were on medical leave and another had a family affair to attend to in the middle of the day. from 8 markers to 6, then to 5. It has been truly exhausting, not to mention I have to continue with my assignment and bass practice after a full day of marking. Grrrrr.. can't wait for the month to be over.

I saw a cute car yesterday. Might just test drive it tomorrow because my pro and experienced ex carsalesperson friend is going to test drive another car too. Now that I want to go to the library tomorrow so I can be more focused, I might just test drive the car another day. I am glad that I see my assignment as more important than shopping for a car. Grrrrr. We might end early tomorrow. So depends on that too.

that's all for now. Ciaoz.
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side note about family

and so the first female cousin on my dad's side is finally getting married this Saturday. At one point in time, I even felt a bit sorry for my relatives because all the gals ain't getting married. :)

There is hope. And I know my brother is straight. I lent him my spare iphone and when I took it back, I saw that he surfed soft porn on it!?!!?

It's cute I am able to bring this topic up with my brother. He's cool. I am sure he finds me cool too. Hehe.

I can't wait to take my family for a trip next year. Must save a bit harder.
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Thank goodness the library is not my best friend

am thankful that I don't love the library so much that I spend too much time here.

I am kinda forced to be here because
1) this library provides the resources that I need for my assignment.
2) Being in the library helps me to be more focused on completing my assignment.

However, I get distracted reading more broadly than I should. I saw a book that I thought I could use for my research. However, while browsing through it, I realised it's a very good book for those in the management, especially my principal. I had wanted to borrow it for her but looking at the other books I had to borrow for my assignment, I could only take a photo of the book so I can maybe buy it as a farewell gift for her.

Anywayz, I started to read the book more in detail and I got more excited about it.

Anywayz, this is the summary of the book.

Title: 10 Traits of Highly Effective Schools
Author: Elaine K. McEwan

Trait 1: Strong Instructional Leadership
Trait 2: Research Based Instruction
Trait 3: Focus
Trait 4: Relational Trust
Trait 5: Collaboration
Trait 6: High Expectations
Trait 7: Opportunities to Learn
Trait 8: Alignment
Trait 9: Results
Trait 10: Accountability

Checking out of the library soon for dinner. Can't wait to chill a lil. Better get some work done before that. Poof!
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hugs and more

The kids are getting used to the hugs. Fewer kids hi-fived me. One boy hugged me thrice yesterday. So sweet. I was standing outside the class waiting for a student to come to me when a few others came out of the classroom to be hugged. After school today, I was seated with another student and a few of them hung around. When I asked them why they were hanging around, they said they wanted a hug. So it was a nice group hug for all of us.

I punished 5 students by making them stand outside the class for not doing their homework. One of them was the monitor. He almost always does his homework, but I got to be impartial. When he handed in his work, he didn't come forward for a hug. Neither did he make eye contact. I asked him over because everyone is supposed to give me either a hug, a hi-five or a handshake (a system a dear friend had suggested) and he came almost immediately.

I think these kids have gotten into the system of being rewarded when they are good and vice versa In a sense, because of his family situation, I don't think he has ever experienced unconditional love. I hope that in giving him a hug even though he was punished, he could catch a glimpse of this type of love.
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Random mid week thought

There are two periods of time when people will draw closest to God and feel His presence the most; when they are exhilarated and thankful or when they are in pain and in desperation. God loves for us to draw near to Him during these times, but I think more precious to Him is that we come to Him at all times. How would we feel if our family members, friends and loved ones come closest to us only when we need them.

Thank God for His unending grace upon us!

"His love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on us" - Jesus Culture
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Praying..

I think the idea is kinda taking shape.

Gals who desire to grow in the Lord, who believes in accountability for one another's growth and who are currently not in a CG.
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One Heart Part 4

We would have followed up and asked about one another's struggles and prayer requests through the week.. because we have remembered and prayed.
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If every Monday night was like this:

Finally got my lippie at J8 last night! I like Ettusais because their lipstick doesn't smell even after one year (that's how long I take for one lipstick) expensive compared to normal brands though. Paid $31 for it. Bought 2 sticks. 

Classes ended on time yesterday, which was unusual because they usually end about 20mins early. I made it in time to catch the movie at J8. It was a last minute decision and a good one. Super entertaining. Even my friend who often sleeps at the movies could keep awake the entire time. We were accompanied by hot hot curry puffs and garetts popcorn. Omg. So good. I felt pampered by good food, ESP the heat hot curry puff. Hot food is always good.

It's gonna be a really busy Oct for me. Both the individual 60% assignment and 20% group assignment are due 31st Oct. Grrr. Ganbette! Nov will Be a better month.
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I am late

but I am not pregnant. So I must be stressed.

Well, I thought it was because of the anniversary service that I was stressed. I was half expecting it to come right after the service like it did the previous few times I had to play for service, but it didn't. So I reckon it's stress.

Stess about what? I think I am getting increasingly irritated and frustrated with the ex. She wrote me an email to tell me that she's unfriending me on facebook until we develop a friendship in real life. At that moment in time, I felt like sticking my finger in my throat and puking. Weird expression but that was how I felt. Haiz. Why must it be so dramatic.. it's like so kiddish and childish lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ARGH. There are other stuff too that I can't mention on public space but so irritated lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Maybe cuz it's not here yet. Quick come and bring me out of my PMS stage........................................

ARGH!! I better start on my assignment like right now.
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Saturday morning thought

Was pretty amused by a few of my friend's admirers. They seem to still hold on to the hope that she would say yes to them even though she has told them clearly that she is just happy being friends. I don't think I ever had someone as persistent about their liking for me. 

It's a good and a bad thing. The good thing is that they let go and they move on. The bad thing is that it's nearly impossible for me to have that same ease as I had talking to them before they had professed their feelings for me, simply because I do not want to lead them on. I realized that with people like that, I tend to be less contactable, less responsive, less friendly, less affectionate, less touchy, less everything else. I guess that helped them let go and move on. There's also a slight difference to my natural caring self. So it's sad that the level of friendship is no longer the same until either of us gets attached. And for some people, things between us were never the same as before. Sad but inevitable?

I feel a bit sad sometimes. Maybe I am being overly responsible, to the point that I "mother" people too much sometimes. I guess it's just my nature and perhaps an occupational hazard. I keep reminding myself that everyone is an adult and they can take care of themselves and I am not responsible for them but I am still unsure how much to let go at times. I guess it's a learning journey for me. Afterall, this is pretty new to me. All these prolly started only in the past few years or so. Praying that I would be able to handle things in the most ideal way in time to come.

Am checking out on this random thought on this Sunny SAturday morning.
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Children's Day

Thank God for the long weekend! I just finished my research at the library! Productive time! Yay!

It was a pretty fun day. The concert for the kids was pretty interesting. Teachers could be a creative lot. Of course the children would like the concert. Teachers were mostly making a fool of themselves, singing, dancing, acting.. :)

Before I gave 3 of my classes their Children's Day gifts, I told them that I also like to give them a hug to wish them Happy Children's Day. Needless to say, there were some squeals, coming from the boys especially.

This is the second time I am hugging an entire class of pupils since I started teaching. The first was hugging every one of my graduating pupils as I handed them their results last year.

Anyhooz, one by one, they came by to hug me. There were some (about 3 out of every 40 pupils)who preferred the handshake (yes, I offered an alternative). I had to teach them the correct way of hugging (arms around the person instead of stiffening the body and giving the body for me to hug like a bolster). It was pretty amusing when the class cheered and clapped when some boys came forward to hug me. I supposed they thought those few boys wouldn't like to display that much affection.

There was one however, rather sad case. He's a boy in my class. After he has hugged me (or I hugged him), he told another classmate that he didn't like the hug because he has not been hugged since K1 (5 years old). That's so sad. I am going to insist on giving him a hug everyday starting next week. *evil laugh*. I am sure he's not the only pupil not getting hugs at home. I shall tell the class that they can choose to hug me at the end of the day if they like. Actually, I don't think I really got hugged after kindergarten.. hmmm..

Anyhooz, I felt really good taking a shower when I got back. Imagine hugging 120 sweaty kids. Euwwwwww.
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aiya

I am not looking for someone who's cute. Honestly, looks do not matter to me as much as warmth, affection and a kind heart. It's really how they make me feel special. And I guess that was how my exes won my heart. Honestly, there were some cute ones who liked me before but when there's no chemistry, there's no chemistry.
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One Heart Part 4

We will know what's happening in one another's lives not just on cg days.
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Dear God.

I am demotivated at work. How?
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One heart part 3

We will have a genuine love for people from the love poured into our hearts by the love of God.
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Ex-colleague

texted me and says he has a friend who wants to attend FCC, so they are attending tomorrow. I also thought he has an inclination to be gay but he has insisted a few times that he is attracted to women. Leave him alone. He is bringing a gal. Should be interesting.

Glad there are more women on the worship team now. Yipee. Higher percentage of representation from women. Yipee.
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Gal from fridae

And so, about the gal from fridae.. I would be more open to meeting up with her one on one if she weren't so persistent in meeting up. Imagine calling me at midnight to ask if I wanted to go for a drink at one of the lesbian ktv place. Thought she needed to talk / in trouble but apparently not.

So after inviting her to play badminton with the rest (she usually can't make it because she's in retail), we finally arranged to play badminton during her off day. I thought she was just bringing another friend along. Lo and behold, I saw 4 others streaming in the badminton court. I had a brief thought that I might get mugged or something. Just a very brief thought. I am kinda paranoid this way; I overthink and overimagine sometimes. Turns out that one is a real estate agent and one an insurance agent. I don't know lah. I really think it's a tough place to be at when one introduces herself to be one of the two. I have this bias that they mostly network to make sales. I know it's wrong to think that way but anyhowz.. 

Maybe that's what people think too when they know that someone's Christian, that they network to get people converted. Sometimes I am guilty of that too. Anyhooz, the intention is to get people to know of the love of the awesome God I worship. That's all. Anyhooz. Random Saturday post. Played too much, ate too much. Time to get some marking done. Ciao.
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