Friday going on Saturday

Didn't jog. Plan got thwarted. Not that I am complaining. There was just too much exercise in a week for my Runner's Knee. And I can't yoga tomorrow because the time of the month does not permit many positions. While the SH is yoga-ing, I shall attempt to jog. Hopefully the view of the cable cars, the Star Virgo and the activities below will keep me on the treadmill for 20 minutes. Grrr.. I really hate jogging.

A total of 6 Synflexes since last night! Popping lozenges too! Grrrr..

Counting down to the holidays. Two weeks more!
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R's and J's place @ 2345

The cool of the air
Brought it into the room
Flitting around one moment
and crawling around another
It crawled for far too long;
surely there is some threat
with the presence of two human beings in the room
The reason was its missing wings
Stuck to the white marble floor
So fragile were the wings
So easily detached from its body
Crawling, still crawling
in no particular direction
with no particular purpose
Lost, directionless, purposeless
is the insect without wings
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I love the feeling of being loved exclusively.
I love the feeling of feeling special.
I love the feeling of being desired.
I love the feeling of being adored.

I am more than a reward at the end of the week.
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Professional Shuttler wannabe's blog

It's Friday in about 8 minutes! :)

The training for the badminton doubles competition has really gotten into me. I am really quite enthusiastic about working towards the 28th Nov! I don't have to win. I just want to try my best.

My colleague, fellow PE teacher and ex-tennis coach told me something that inspired me to start jogging. He said that someone wise told him sometime ago that we train to be fit to play games, not play games to get fit. He also shared that when he jogs three to four times a week, his shots ( he plays badminton once a week too) are sharper, he moves faster, he makes fewer mistakes (he can smash up to 6 shots consecutively instead of the usual 3-4).

Today was our second training session @ CCK Sports Hall. It was an hour of mastering our shots. I was about to write more about our strengths and weaknesses when I stopped myself. Top Secret! At least until 28th Nov. We have yet to sign up since there is no early bird's offer. Moreover, we won't know what will happen to us before the day of the competition. :) We might just be training so hard that we get injured just before the competition, and there goes the $100 participation fees.

I have been doing some sort of exercise since last Thursday. Badminton on Thursday, Gym on Friday, Yoga on Saturday, Badminton on Sunday, Tennis on Monday, Rest on Tuesday, Badminton yesterday and 2 sessions of badminton today. Once with my partner, and the other with the sayoni usuals + 2 new challengers. :)

The best way to build the stamina is through jogging. That will also help to drop a kilo or two. Being slightly lighter will help me to be more agile and also move faster on court.

Jogging I will be tomorrow! (today) More updates soon!
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The week in a flash

The week had indeed gone by very quickly. It was a Deepavali off-in-lieu for me on Monday. THe SH took leave too so we spent a portion of the day together. Tennis was a good workout though I consumed a can of chrysanthemum tea and a can of coke zero courtesy of J and D respectively. The SH asked me last night (after I ordered Chendol @ 10p.m.) why I have to consume so much sweet stuff. I should have answered: To maintain my sweetness. Haha.

THe week in a flash. Tuesday to Friday 8a.m. - 5p.m. were PSLE marking days, so I didn't have access to the internet at all but i managed to squeeze in lots of readings during the breaks.

On Tuesday, I had the privilege of visiting another CG because PLUSH was taking a break. I was greatly ministered and God was clearly in the midst of all the sharing. I even had a chance to share from what God had spoken last Sunday during the "Solitude" moment with Him and amazingly, that was in line with the sharing too. God works in wonderful ways.

Celebrated our 7th Monthniversary on Wednesday. I am very thankful that God brought us into each other's path and had sustained us (because being in a relationship is no easy feat) in this season of growth, understanding, learning more about each other and what God is teaching us.

Badminton with the usual gals on Thursday. Made up my mind to take part in the badminton competition with G, but we are prolly not signing up till closer to the deadline of the registration just in case we injure ourselves during the intensive training sessions. The competition will be held end Nov so we have essentially 5 weeks to prepare.

Friday was catching up with the gym buddy over gym. Then I had some alone time but I ended up getting upset over a silly matter which was resolved overnight (the next afternoon).

Saturday was yoga-ing with the SH and we spent some quality time together. She bought us tickets to watch Dunas, one of the exotic flamengo mixed with contemporary kind of dance available during this period of the Dance Festival. The tickets were expensive but she got it knowing that I won't pay that amount to watch a dance performance. So sweet of her. We had excellent hokkien mee and chendol (I had that) @ the Esplanade Hawker Centre.

Enough update for now. Praying for a purposeful week ahead. Purposefully busy! :)
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The different levels according to Shen inspired by the H.S (hopefully).

Level 1 - Good character, Compassionate heart.
Level 2 - Good character, Compassionate heart. Gives thanks in all circumstances.
Level 3 - Good character, Compassionate heart. Gives thanks in all circumstances. Seeks to follow God's will.

Help me see beyond Calvary!
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of a simple one-liner

Sometimes, we are so busy we forget. But truly, it takes a bit of the will to divert our gaze to the author and perfector of our faith and consider His sovereignty, things will appear better.

"when we see you, we find strength to face the day".

Paul Baloche (Hosanna)
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Question

I was watching the horse run in circles today.
They do not pant like dogs do.
How do they lose heat then?
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Thessalonians?

The SH was asking me why I dreamt about the word Thessalonians because at the first read, there ain't any outstanding message that seemed to stand out. I did a deeper read today and this was what stood out.

"Do not put out the Spirit's fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil."

1 Thessalonians 5:19-20
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Their ain't enuf daze inn zee weakands

Honestly, life can be so interesting if only one would let it be. Different experiences. Different friends. Different perspectives. Different situations. Different consequences. Just different different.

Watched Julie and Julia with the SH. No, I was not inspired to be the French Chef after the movie. I was inspired to write more about my journey as Shen everyday. Narcissistic eh. Do you know there is a condition called Narcissistic Personality Disorder(NPD). All the medical conditions they come up with so people will pay doctors to be treated. ADHD, ADD... in my time, children are just called hyperactive. What is becoming of the world today..

I drove around a quarter of Singapore to find a place of solitude. Solitude with two other friends ( Together but Alone (TBA) yes, another acronym) requires more logistical coordination. It was a good hour and 10 minutes with the Lord. (Yes, I was timing it to see how far I can go) It has been a long while and I reckoned it was a good time to start after hearing the importance of solitude 4-5 times in the past week including twice today in both sermons.

I don't think I should tithe to both churches anymore. A decision needs to be made.
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long rambles

I took medical leave today. Mostly because of stress and the deadlines to be met tomorrow. I was hoping I could wait till the end of Friday and enjoy the long weekend, but I really could not bear the thought of handling any more stress(from the kids) other than the stress from the deadlines. I told the doctor I was stressed. She asked if I was depressed. I am not. But I think I am PMSsing. I have been feeling really tired. This morning, I could feel my heartbeat quicken when I think about work. I stopped thinking when I could feel a headache coming.

I finished marking a stack of exam essays in the morning. Sometimes, I am even embarrassed to be known as an English teacher though these students from these different classes are not taught by me. Honestly, compared to before, the standard of English has really deteriorated. I really wonder whose fault it could be. I am very tempted to put the blame on MOE, on how they recruit and train teachers, on how they implement new initiatives beneficial only for the top students, how they change the curriculum the American way forgetting how important basic grammar rules are in our uniquely multiracial Singapore.

A few days ago, I received a card and I was encouraged that I could make a positive difference in one person's life. I realised over these few years what I do best, and what I feel happiest doing. Yet in the midst of all of that, I always ask myself how I can be a good testimony at my workplace. I guess it's especially difficult because there is this natural need to want to excel and be better to prove that not all gay people are dsyfunctional, difficult or mediocre. WHile I know how I do not need to prove anything in front of an all-knowing, miracle-performing God, people do look at who, what and how you are and draw conclusions from there.

I am not sure if this whole post is coherent but I shall just leave this as that and continue my work. Ciaoz.
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kids really start young nowadays..

While walking home from the multi-storey car park to my block ( a distance of 200 metres), I saw two butch-looking teenagers (from 2 different groups). THey must not be more than 14 years old..
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awesome weekend

the weekend will never be complete without nuggets of wisdom and inspiration from God, both from the pulpit and godly people of God.

While driving to meet the dg gals today, I was kinda reflecting on God's goodness in my life for the past 3 months, because, surely the one question we all have to answer during the meet up is, " What has transpired in the last 3 months? "

Still in a defensive mode because at least 1 person in the DG knows that I am an active gay christian (which is not a good thing from her point of view because I am supposedly leading people astray), I had to find things that testify of God's steadfast love and His promises fulfilled in my life. I found 3 major events to give thanks for in the past 3 months ; the approval of my part-time teaching application, my very old friend who kinda received Christ and my relationship with my family members.

As I was saying, I was recounting God's goodness when I realised how important a quiet time of reflection is to be continually thankful for God's every little blessing in our lives. THe mere fact that we are still breathing is a testify of God's goodness to us. How much discontent will be reduced when we finally recognise how small we are and how big God is, how horrible we are and how gracious God has been despite of.

During the sharing, my DGL reiterated that point, confirming what I ought to start doing. She was emphasising on the importance of a time of total silence for us to just dwell in God's presence. To do absolutely nothing, not even His work.. and just be still.

Things that facilitate counselling; to see with the spiritual eyes and not the physical eyes, to give biblical precepts and not specific pieces of advice. Some time ago, that was what the SH shared with me too. Isn't she brilliant? :D

When people follow themselves, they get disillusioned with life. There needs to be a constant to look to. It's like fixing our eyes on a constant object when we are out in rough seas so we do not suffer from motion sickness. THe object is Jesussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

and of course, the other reason why it was an awesome weekend was the surprise birthday celebration for the SH! Amazing time of fun and togetherness with friends plus quality time together. How much better can the weekend get??
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The week is almost ending.. thank God

Every morning, when I will myself to wake up, I always tell myself that I will take a nap in the afternoon after classes. But that never happens. There are far too many things to do. I am only waiting for the week to end so I can crash.

It's really only by God's grace that I pulled through this week without falling sick. Having only 1 week left before the start of their exams, the pace in the lessons has been stepped up and with that comes more marking. Moreover, we are supposed to stop all group activities with the ongoing PSLE so the mode of teaching is mostly direct instruction. I had 2 and a half hours of classroom lessons on Monday, 2 hours on Tuesday, 2 hours on Wednesday and 2 and a half today. These are just classroom lessons. Bleah. So exhausted.

I am thankful my gym buddy pulled me to the gym last night. Ran 2.4km with him before gym. I hate running but I was actually appreciative of the time to space out last night.

Back to marking.
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this verse just came to mind so I shall post it.

Matthew 10:26

"There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known."

for God searches the hearts of man and brings to light what is hidden.

My prayer is for a pure heart. A broken spirit and a contrite heart. God will not despise.
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food for thought - no chocolate, donuts, cakes, ice-cream though:(

So I was thinking about lukewarm-ness in terms of our relationship with GOd;

Revelation 3:16 says " so becuase you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I am going to spit you out of my mouth. "

I spent a whole 15 minutes reckoning with this idea about lukewarm- ness and what it means when God views lukewarm-ness as a greater sin than being cold. I finally came up with this.

When we are hot (really engaged with God), when He leads us in whatever aspect, we know He is leading us, and so we follow and there, we will see the best results.

When we are cold (really bochap God), we take matters into our own hands and make our own decisions but decisions are still made.

When we are lukewarm, we think we are waiting for God's leading, but because we are not engaged with Him, we don't know he is leading, and we continue waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting.. you get the idea.

An example I can think of is the idea of waiting for the right person to come along.

When we are hot, we follow God's leading and we get someone who is perfect for us.

When we are cold, we make our own choices and get someone whom we think is perfect for us, whether he/she is or not, we still have someone.

When we are lukewarm, we appear to be following God's leading and so wait in anticipation for the right one, but because we are lukewarm, we don't know when the right one comes along, so we just wait and wait and wait.. and blame God when no one comes along.

lol.

Just for entertainment's sake. Don't take the above too seriously.

But I think what Revelations 3:16 was talking about is this: Being cold means not being aware of the Lordship of Christ so people who are cold are forgiven. However, lukewarmness seems to imply that someone has already experienced God and His goodness yet falls away from Him. Yawns. I shall read more about this tomorrow. TIme to sleep.
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Happy weekend.

Was a great weekend.

I had a good amount of alone time and that was good. :) Friday night was spent having my favourite fish soup and fried oyster dinner @ Bukit Batok. Saturday afternoon was spent watching Surrogate before shopping for lanterns and sparklers.

There was good time spent with the SH yoga-ing on Saturday and lazing in the afternoon after church-ing together.

There was great time meeting up with peeps for lantern-ing, mooncaking and sparkles-ing on the Saturday evening at ECP and lunching with some over herbal chicky and catch ups.

Awesome! Great sermon by Carolyn. One of the main points that she put across was the value God places on relationships, which she shared was the primary reason why we were created, not our achievements and the works of our hands. Ditto. It wasn't a coincidence I sent out the Crosswalk devotion to plushcore on Friday. Exactly the same.

God is good. Oh. One thing though. I never could use secular songs for worship in church even though God is mentioned in the song.. I can't. Maybe others can. I can't bear to sing. What if God was one of us, just a slob like one of us.. I hold him in too much awe to even think he's a slob. His timing is impeccable. And he never fails to do what the Father commands. How can he be a slob.

Know something? I love Jesus. I really do. And it's a joy to hear others share that they learn what it means to put God in the centre of their relationship because He alone can meet their deepest needs and desires.

Keep looking to His perfect love for the imperfect us. :)
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something sweet

heard something sweet yesterday while gymming with the gym kaki. He said that his bf, after knowing that he suffers an allergic reaction everytime he stays over, changes the bedsheet every single time he goes over. So sweet.. Sweet chap he is.
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Moving on....

Finished Proverbs. Moving on to Thessalonians. Dreamt about it 3 nights ago. Told the SH. That will be our common QT book for now. The first letter of Paul to the Thessalonians.
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Have always wanted to post this song

Casting Crowns' usual style. Not very worshipful kinda lyrics but totally reflectivable. Heh. I luff creating new words. This song requires time to get used to. I would love to think and write like that some day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGHILmOHptY


Slow Fade - Casting Crowns

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
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dedication to a special friend

Today brings back many memories of the past;
Beautiful ones, sad ones. Simple ones, complicated ones
Whichever the ones we are still holding on to
We have already moved ahead, have already looked onward
I only look back to appreciate those precious moments
and relish the lessons learnt from the experiences
I hope you too.
Happy birthday to you.
Wishing you loads of happiness, joy and love on this special day.

Hugs and love,
me
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the cute Primary Twos..

I have a pair of twins in Primary 2, Edward and Edwin. They really look alike. The only way I can distinguish them is via the really tiny mole on Edwin's chin. Since they are hyperactive, I can't run to them to find out who has the mole, so I discovered the more efficient way. " Ed!" :)

I have another kid. He used one of the NDP's tattoos and stuck it on his cheek. When he came back the following day, his once smooth cheek had an abrasion. His father had tried to "scrap" the tattoo from his cheek. Till today, there is still a mark on his cheek. Poor boy.
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