NCC's songs...

helped me meditate a lot today. I don't know how to explain, but their songs just have a way to make me feel loved and this feeling rolls over to all other aspects of my life. I am still struggling though, not to cruise through work. It feels terrible to know that I am not giving my best. For the first time today, I wish my part-time teaching application will not be approved. So tired.

I should learn to be more contented than I already am. Initially, I even considered teaching my students for free after resigning from teaching. Now even when there is a possibility that I am able to do part-time teaching and get paid half pay for it (for half load), I was being calculative thinking that I probably will earn more giving tuition. I really need to be thankful for so much grace already given.
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so much drama

Lord, I pray for wisdom wisdom wisdom and courage courage courage.
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wait

I have come across a few situations in the past 2 years where friends are put in situations to feel the need to get into a relationship because they fear losing the other party that they are interested in. I say wait. Wait wait wait. I really believe that if a relationship is meant to be, and if you mean a lot to the other party, she still will be waiting at the end of it all. Be patient and wait.. it will be worth it if it is meant to be. Some hear, and try to heed. Some hear and follow their heart. Maybe I am not pushy enough but I always believe in suggesting what I think is best, and let people make their own decisions. Afterall, they are adults and some are older than I am! What god given right do I have to think I know what is best for them, right? What if I was wrong?
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PLUSH tonight!

I have experienced God in my own life in a very real way more often than I have experienced Him in the word. So I get highly excited when I learnt something about how real He is through the bible. Today, YM helped brought that up in the revelation that God gave Daniel a prophecy which really occured in history after Daniel has passed on. It sounds like a very minor fact but it's huge and means lots to me because it was God's revelation to me tonight! And I am so excited that I have to blog about it though it's late!

GREEEAT Session once more! Thanks to K for opening up her place. It was great though the group size was almost half (9 peeps). yoohoo! I am happy! Plus I get to share my home cooked food, and got to eat strawberry ice cream!
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Flu got full-flown

so it was headache on Monday, sore throat on Tues, Wed, Thurs, sneezing loads on Friday, lots of mucous and phlegm on Sat and Sun. Rested so much. Never slept so much for such a long time. I slept from 1a.m.Fri night to 1030a.m. Sat morn, took a 3 hour nap on Sat afternoon, and then slept from midnight to midday on Sunday, thanks to the medication.

Attended NCC's 1430 service. It was a good service. Like how the SH puts it. It's good to get a dose of the gospel of grace every now and then. I love all the songs they sang for worship. Learnt 2 of them on the guitar, thanks to imeem.com :)

The Stand
Joel HoustonKey: A
Intro:
A


Verse 1:
A
You stood before creation
D
eternity in Your hand
A/C# F#m
You spoke the earth into motion
D
My soul now to stand


Verse 2:
A
You stood before my failure
D
And carried the cross for my shame
A/C# F#m
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
D
My soul now to stand


PreChorus:
D
So what can I say
Bm F#m
And what could I do
D E
But offer this heart O God
F#m A E F#m D A E F#m
Completely to You


Verse 3:
A
So I'll walk upon salvation
D
Your Spirit alive in me
A/C# F#m
This life to declare Your promise
D
My soul now to stand


Chorus:
D A
So I'll stand
E F#m D
With arms high and heart abandoned
A E F#m D
In awe of the One who gave it all
A
I'll stand
E F#m
My soul Lord to You surrendered
D A E F#m
All I am is Yours


Coda:
D
So what can I say
Bm F#m
And what could I do
A Bm7 E
But offer this heart O God
F#m
Completely to You
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Be in the world but not of the world

Heard this phrase so often that sometimes it seems cliche. I figured that since the word of the God is the living word, it could never be cliche unless one fails to be touched by what was written. The heart of the matter is the matter of the heart, right?

What I learnt from YM's facilitation is that God has given Danial the determination not to compromise on his beliefs and values and instead gave him the wisdom to come up with an alternative proposal to pacify the king. I shared with the group that I like to pray for the wisdom to be able to do come up with something creative (something very not me) in difficult situations. For me, I pray for wisdom as often as I can remember to.

I heard something more in the short sermon message in the $14.90 Planetshakers CD cum DVD today. It was also on Daniel 1. THe speaker challenges us to speak the language of the world today, but also live a life that is set apart so people will be attracted to that something that they don't have. It is very encouraging to hear him share a simple truth. When people come to us, they are looking for something different, they want to hear something they have not already known. The holy spirit in us helps to pick up that need and answers the need that they have, if we will let him work.

And we who have the holy spirit in us have that special ability that is different that no one has. Those who has High EQ has it easier. But those with lower EQ also has the holy spirit. Even best is when one has high EQ and the holy spirit working mightily in them. So many lives that we can impact for Christ, if only we manage to set our eyes on our destiny persistently.

Another 1 liner power statement: Worship is not just about an aha experience, worship is our lives.
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worship on keyboard for the first time in PLUSH

YM led us for worship on the keyboard. While we were rehearsing, I felt the strong presence of God in our midst and was led to pray. A prayer of thanksgiving, that He has put in my heart a huge load of gratitude that we are created to worship HIm, that musical instruments are created to worship Him. It was a great feeling; like I was unaware about everything else in the sanctuary though I was on the stage, something I really don't enjoy. I was just enjoying His sweet presence. Nice! Inspired me to pick up piano again. I have too many inspirations. Need to know which should come first.:)))))

Oh, how can I fail to mention, that I learn much whenever she facilitates the session. She should do that more often. Hear hear! :D

TGIF!!
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2nd song I learnt to play tonight

Beautiful Saviour - Planetshakers
Intro:
A E F#m7 E D A Bm7

Verse:
A E F#m7
Jesus, beautiful Saviour
E D
God of all Majesty
A Bm7
Risen King
A
Lamb of God
E F#m7
Holy and righteous
E D
Blessed redeemer
A Bm7
Bright morning star

Pre-Chorus:
E A D
All the Heavens shout your praise
E A D E
All creation bows to worship you

Chorus:
A E F#m7
How wonderful, how beautiful
E D A Bm7 F#m7 E
Name above every name, exalted high
A E F#m7
How wonderful, how beautiful
E D Bm7 D F#m7 E Asus A Asus A
Jesus Your name, name above every name Jesus

Verse
Pre-Chorus
Chorus

Bridge x2:
A E F#m7
I will sing forever
E D
Jesus I love You
Bm7 E
Jesus I love You

Chorus
Tag:
Asus A Asus A
Je - sus, Beautiful Sa - viour
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song of the evening

GOd of my Forever - CHC

E Emaj7 A B

E C#m
GOD OF MY YOUTH I REMEMBER
A B
YOUR CALL ON MY LIFE TOOK ME OVER
E C#m
YOU LOVE HAS SEEN ME THROUGH ALL MY DAYS
A B
I STAND HERE BY YOUR GRACE

E/G# A
ON THIS ALTAR I'VE WRITTEN MY LIFE
E/G# C#m - B
TELL OF THE STORY I HAVE WITH YOU
F#m B
MY LORD I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW

E Emaj7
GOD OF MY FOREVER
E7/D A - - E/G#
AND FOREVER I'M WITH YOU
F#m - B G#m - C#m
MY LIFE IS SAVED WITH A PRICE
F#m B
YOUR SACRIFICE REDEEMED MY SOUL
E B/D#
GOD OF MY FOREVER
C#m A
AND FOREVER I WILL SING
F#m - B G#m - C#m
MY GREATEST HONOR WILL ALWAYS BE
F#m - B E
TO SERVE MY LORD AND KING

GOD OF MY LIFE I SURRENDER
MY HEART FINDS ITS REST IN YOUR WORD
PRAISES WILL NOT BE ENOUGH TO SHOW
HOW MY LOVE FOR YOU HAS GROWN

NOTHING MATTERS WHEN YOU’RE HERE WITH ME
IN THE END JUST TO HEAR YOU SAY “WELL DONE”
BOWING BEFORE YOUR THRONE

C#m E/G#
FOREVER AND EVER
A B
JESUS YOU ALONE IN GLORY REIGN
C#m E/G#
FOREVER AND EVER
A B
WITH YOU I’LL WALK THIS NARROW WAY
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I am learning the fine art of....

telling people that they are not as good as they think of themselves to be while not bringing them down, back to that mentality that caused them to need to lift themselves up so high in the first place.

It's tough, because it is rare to find someone who can take feedback about themselves objectively. It is rare to find someone that secure.

What has it got to do with me anyway, I ask myself sometimes. I guess that "nurturing" instinct part of me feels the need help someone be the best that they can be. And during that period of time when I pray and consider what is the best way to bring that across, someone else will give it to them. Ah well.. the point of this post? None.
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kids kids kids *almost getting enough of them*

woke up with a pounding headache, the sort I get when I drink too much the night before. I did not touch even a drop of alcohol, so I figured I might be falling sick. Doc diagnosed it as a headache but I am supposed to keep monitoring for more symtopms. It must be the rain on Sat, having to remain in wet attire between 830p.m. to 1030p.m. plus the durians and prata yesterday. I was already feeling a slight headache from yesterday afternoon but this morning was bad.

My kids gave the trainee teacher a bad time according to her. Sigh. Kids kids kids. Sometimes, when I look at the primary school kids all around Singapore, I can't help but feeel that that is the reason why I need a break from teaching. They are the only ones who can drain my patience dry and yet not change for the better. Maybe they will , but not in my lifetime. Parents are mostly to be blamed. They allow their children to do what they like. Of course kids will do what they enjoy, be kept occupied and the parents will see their kiddos as angels. When it comes to bad learning behaviour, the parents will push the responsiblity to teachers and the school counselors. In the past 2 months, I have had parents telling me " I can't control him at home. I have already told him this and that but he still does not listen. Can you scold him for me?" " Teacher, please go ahead and cane him, he's not afraid of me." "Teacher, can you send him to see the school counselor. I really don't know what to do with him." " Teacher, she doesn't do as I say, can you please talk to her?" BIG SIGH. In a school setting, sometimes they can't just do as they like at their own timing, that's when they rebel. Maybe I should start up a biz and teach parents how to manage their kids. So needed.
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I almost wanted to say that I live to please you. Heh. But that will be so wrong. I repent. Praying to put God first above everything. Because I have enough faith to believe that as long as God is first, everything else will fall in place.
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I miss my baby..

WHy the excitement?

I dunno why, but whenever I prepare to tithe, I feel very excited. I never thought about getting anything back though. So what am I excited about? I hope to think that I have a relationship with God and that it makes Him delighted when I am giving that back to Him, and knowing that He is delighted makes me excited? I think mnust be like that la.
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I am carless on Sunday

it's the worst day to be car-less. But I managed to get a ride to Covenant from my dad and a ride to FCC from J and R. Yay. But i don't think I can manage Yoga tomorrow afternoon without a car. Can't get there fast enough unless I take a cab. THen I have to get home and hope and dad returns home with his car so I can use it to drive to meet N. That will be after dinner.

My mum refuses to let me use the car till she clears the car insurance. Two weeke ago, she learnt that the car nsurance wasn't paid. She was surprised because she thought they would deduct from her bank. So we all sat on it till today (Saturday) when she called the insurance company and they told her it was illegal driving without that. So I have been driving illegally for a month. She insisted on taking back the keys from me after I came back.

Bleah!
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My Saturday

Morning- Read bible, read papers, lazed. Ate. And ate again.
1230 - Transferred money, paid bills thru machines.
1300- Met at school, printed out appeal letter, signed and handed in.
1315- Took attendance for kids, gave out goodie bags, gave out food.
1430- Briefing for teachers by this cute 20 year old Sikh Captain Arjun.
1500 - Left school
1530 - reached Floating Platform
1530- Make noise, watch performance, ate.
1800 - NDP started. Parachuters were amazing. Some did 4000 over dives in their lives!
1830 - Things started getting more interesting. And I was interested!
1900 - I watched with amazement one item after another. Loved it when all modes of transports came on. THe planes, ships, motorboats, cars, bikes. Wow. It was amazing!
1930 - Very touched. Felt like crying. Am so proud to be Singaporean. Singapore has come so far.. LKY said duno how many years ago (when he still had hair and in black) "In 10 years, Singapore will be a metropolitan city."
1945 - Pretty fireworks. Started raining.
2000- End of NDP. Was a mess getting back to the buses. All wet clothings. Brrrr... very cold
2200- Sent off last student
2210- Bought cup noodles for dinner from Cheers Supermarket. Was trembling throughout. My wet jeans were stuck to my legs.

Home sweet home.
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after satisfying my hunger..

I ate half a prata and about 20 pieces of GEM biscuits (with the coloured sugar topping).

Came back to help a friend brainstorm for her partner's bday surprise. I love planning surprises! :) In return, she gave me a website wotif.com. They have special rates for mystery hotels. A mystery hotel's name is hidden. The description will tell if it's a 4 or 5 star hotel and whether it's near any famous food centre/entertainment places etc. They will also reveal the hotel's facilities. So you will never know what you get if you book mystery hotels. So fun. I like this sort of suspense. Maybe that's why I am into playing pokies in Australia(jackpot machines) And the price is inclusive of taxes. That's so cheap! like 140 for a 5 star hotel!

WHat useful information that is! :)
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Badminton and more

I had very good sleep after yoga and an hour of intensive badminton with J from Sayoni. We were sparring against 2 much older folks. THere was some miscommunication in the timings of the courts. It seemed as if my slot was from 8p.m. instead of 7p.m. But it was fine. They invited the both of us to play with them. It was so so tiring, so tiring that I can't remember if we played 4 or 5 games against them. Anywayz, they won all the games. Real pros they were. J was quite the pro too but I made quite a few unforced errors due to game stress. It didn't help that I was still in track pants after Yoga. It was so warm! We had dinner after. It was the first time we shared more deeply about our lives with each other, something I appreciated.

I am hungry again. Need to find food. More later.
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bad English

I cringed when I read my previous posts. I should not write when I am feeling sleepy.
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I love Pslams

Be angry, and do not sin;
ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.
Offer right sacrifices,
and put your trust in the Lord.

Pslams 4:4-5
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lazy randoms

Jehovah WItness lady came to N and I in Macs when we were doing follow up. She invited herself into our conversation and spent a long time talking to us. Scary that she knows bible inside out. It is really important for us as christians to know the bible inside out as well. Sometimes, we might not have the peace whenever someone says something, so how can we pinpoint what when we do not know the bible well? I am pressing on to know the God of the bible through reading the bible. SH decided that Joshua was a better book after Judges since there can be more discussion points. I guess I will try to read both simultaneously.

Went for FCC inaugural Youth Service. I was very proud of the youths, every single one of them. My heart was touched when the two guys sang Give thanks. Fantabulous. Touching. I enjoyed the worship session and the sharing by the different ones. ANd N's rendition of the Benediction was sweet. I am so proud of her. She was pretty pleased with herself too..

Being in FCC is good for her. Besides finding her self-worth is knowing that she is able to do something well for the Most High, I believe that over time, she would feel comfortable relating to peers, and undo those baggages that she had carried before. I see it as a vicious cycle. I think it started with her being a little socially unaware when she was younger and got rejected as a result, then having no friends whom she could relate with, she felt bitter and that didn't help her become more socially adjusted. It got worse, she got to know another group of friends, and the same thing happens, so she will never know how to behave and relate to people like a normal person would. She needs to find a group of peers who can accept her for who she is, enough for her to feel safe, then perhaps she will be receptive to feedback from these people who care for her on how to behave and what to say, and finally change. Moreover, she has God in her life now. THings can only get better.

Flea Market: didn't earn much but enough to cover the stall's rent plus some for coffee, ice cream and a gift for a friend.

I am sleepy and hungry. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
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The book of Pslams

I do believe very much that God wants His children to come to Him in brokeness.. the constant posture of submission to His Lordship. That thought came to mind while I was reading Psalms 2.

After finishing the book of Judges, I have somewhat laid off reading the bible much aside from preparing for facilitation which is bad, because I do know the bible is so important but inertia was zero.

Just a day or two before, God put in my heart the desire to read His word once again and my heart was kinda burning to read Psalms. So I did. And I think this is the book of the season. So yay. I am getting back the desire to read the word of God and am very eager to hear from God.

This is a sleepy afternoon post.
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