The moment

After years of travelling, I have learnt that I prefer to capture the moment with my eyes other than through the lens of a camera. I found out that I am able to enjoy the moment more. When I spend a lot of time trying to take the best photos, I often feel that I don't experience the fullness of the moment.

well, if I have a lot of time at that place, mAybe I can starting taking photos after enjoying those moments for a few days. That way, I can capture both the moment in my mind and on print. :)

I guess it's the same with life. Sometimes, we spend so much time planning, envisioning and choreographing our lives that we fail to enjoy the spontateous moments. I reckon that while I will do a bit of planning, I should not think too much and just enjoy the day to day moments.
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I am back after a one month hiatus!

KL was sweet. God was good. He taught me a very precious lesson. When we avail ourselves, He will provide.

I have seen how we had not expected even the 12 boxes of clothes and books from A and when we did, we thought we were just bringing the kids those donated clothes and a bit of fun in terms of a Sports Carnival. Before A told me that A had some funds for a christmas party, the SH actually receieved an email suggesting that we could provide food for the kids too. We had not intended for that but an additional SGD 35was a blessing. They were so happy eating the pizza and KFC we ordered for them.

While we were there, the people working for the kids told us that they were so thankful we brought the christmas party to the kids because unlike the other years, no one offered to this year :). After the event, we went for lunch and found 50 RM on the seat at Nandos which covered for almost our whole meal. Also, when we were looking for whistles, they miraculously appeared before us at the store. Just 1 packet. Out of nowhere. YM donated some plush toys keychains (new ones), we counted 78 pieces. We were expecting 100 kids so we thought of using them as prizes instead of gifts. However, we counted 74 kids so we thought of giving them out to everyone of them for participating in the games. The 78 pieces were ALL given out. No short, no more. I think a few kids might have just come in the duration of the game. Amazing isn't it? :) And it was a great challenge driving in KL city, our first time driving to Malaysia and we were kept safe throughout! :)

Thank God for His grace, providence and protection! :)
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a testimony of God's faithfulness

shared this during CG last night. Since last year, whenever people ask me about my plans for the future (mostly in terms of my career), I always tell them that I am not sure, yet I have this quiet assurance that God will reveal as time draws nearer. And He has been doing just that.

Just yesterday, I was catching up on the book of Joshua because that was what the SH and I were supposed to read and discuss together. I didn't get much of the message in the first 5 chapters except that Joshua was constantly getting directions from God as He was leading Israel through Jordan. Yesterday's devotion for the day was also about following Jesus (devotion is below). Yesterday's chapter 22 for Purpose Driven Life was also about letting God do His work; how He is more concerned about my character development than my career and what I do in life. It's encouraging for me how God spoke through different avenues yesterday.

Just last week, I received news that I got to teach the exact level and class that I asked for. What blessing that is! I finally get a break from teaching P5 and 6. Being given a P4 class means I will probably follow them for 3 years. Also at the same time last week, i receieved the notification that the registration for the briefing for the 3 years part-time masters programme has been postponed. To think that I had not received the first email. Logically speaking, if I apply for the Masters programme, I will graduate at about the same time as the time I will send off my next batch of kids. Because the Masters Programme is heavily subsidised by MOE, I will be bonded for another year. And it is at the end of 2014 that i get another connect plan payout. All so timely right? Humanly speaking. So I have a tentative 4 year plan. Yet all these might change, but all the experiences I have with God previously gives me the confidence that He knows the plans He has for me and that He will always be with me and all I have to do is to walk in step with Him.


November 9, 2010
But I Can't See!
Lynn Cowell

"The next day Jesus decided to leave for Galilee. Finding Philip, he said to him, 'Follow me.'" John 1:43 (NIV)

Devotion:
Illuminating a small circle just in front of our feet, the flashlight provided safety and direction for only our next step as Rose and I took our pre-sunrise walk. Anxiety eventually gave way to comfort as we discussed the day ahead. We knew the light would lead us in the right direction. We just had to take the next step...

Taking the next step is something Jesus recommended a very long time ago. "Come and you will see." "Follow me." These were the words Jesus spoke to the disciples as He called them. He didn't sit them down and reveal what the next three years would hold. He knew they would be overwhelmed; possibly even turn around. He chose to keep it simple. "Follow me" was all He said. Take the next step...

As a teen, I wanted to know my future. Will all my dreams come true? What college will I attend? Will I work in a church; marry a pastor? Will I live in Iowa near my family? Jesus knew the answers to those questions all along. I didn't go to college. I don't work in a church, nor did I marry a pastor. He knew. In wisdom, He chose to reveal only enough light for me to take the next step.

Sometimes, I catch myself wishing again that I could see my future. I get wrapped up in fear or worry. Career worries: Will I still have this job in five or ten years? Mom worries: Will my children marry spouses passionate about Jesus? Marriage worries: Will my husband and I enjoy a long retirement together? I can spin around issues that really don't have anything to do with this day, with my next step.

Jesus knows. He knows which answers are "yes" and which ones are "no." He knows when and where to reveal to me my next step. My part is simply to take the next step in obedience.

When I was younger, I did not understand those times when He said "no" were stepping stones to His amazing "yes." I learned in the dark that when I step forward in trust and obedience, blessing is down the path. I also had to learn that even those pathways that held pain where part of the process. They were stepping stones in my journey of choosing obedience over worry, fear and control.

Now, when fear and doubt surface in the dark I silence the "what ifs." I remember Jesus' words, "Follow me," and get back on the path that is flickering just ahead-and simply take the next step...a step of trust. I ask Him what I need to do for just today. I walk away from worry by expressing my concerns to Jesus and trust His ability to take care of each and every step.

Dear Lord, the dark can be frightening. Jesus, sometimes my ability to trust seems so much smaller than the step I need to take. Help me to build a history with You. A history of seeing You will help me trust You over and over and over again. I want that. I put my trust in You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
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random updates

I love the bass. And I think it's my instrument. I love the red. I love the boom. I love the smoothness of the sound. I love how the strings do not cut my finger.

swam 20 laps and had one full hour of workout from badminton. Endorphins- so addictive.

THe SH just told me she thinks she's addicted to FB.

I had great claypot chickie rice near Tessensohn. Lonely dinner though. Me and my chickie. And coke light.

I taught my kids how to play the guitar in the past 2 weeks. I am 4 hours short of giving them a 10 hour lesson on guitar playing.

Today, I got them rubber bands and taught them how to make zero point ropes. I also taught them how to play Zero point! They were engaged! Wonderful!

Tomorrow they must make their mortar boards. Bleah.

Tomorrow, I have a feeling I will get scolded by my good friend because I have not done what I was supposed to do.

I got the exact level and class I asked for for 2011. Good life next year! :D So blessed. I think God might be preparing me to be the default bass player.. knowing how much I practise whenever I have to play.

I think I pulled a muscle at the butt. Gluteus Maximus.

There was a good-looking angmoh at church on Sunday.

I still can't believe one of my friends is dating an ang moh GUY!

The student I am giving tuition to scored the highest in her class for English! 48 out of 50! A great improvement! My only problem is, how to maintain.. or improve further.. aiyo..

I love Qcafe! I think it's like Planet Cafe in the L word. I think I am going to be a regular to keep it alive. From now on, I will suggest all gatherings to be there.. hiak hiak. Unless that person has gone before.

Irene Ang and I are talking like we are friends. It's no big deal but I keep reminding myself that she's a celebrity so I should keep some boundary.

Rebecca Tan is good-looking but not my type. The SH is so into her. *rolls eyes* Maybe that's why I don't like her as much as I should. Hiak hiak.

It's time to organise the single thing again!
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wow! So long never update.. a revelation

while doing the 20 laps and praying, I realised I had been praying all wrong. I always pray for everyone I know starting from my family members, the SH, the plushies and others who need prayers.. I pray for the plushies to draw close to God, build their spiritual lives, encourage one another, find their ministry.. blah blah blah, and other specific prayer requests that I know of them.. then today, while I was praying, I stopped midway and realised that all I really need to pray, the most important prayer is this: Lord, let __________'s heart be fully after your heart. That is a simple but profound prayer. It basically covers everything that needs to be prayed for.
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My greatest achievement this month..

is that I learnt to play Run on the bass!

I can't find the song Scarlett (yes spelt like that on the CD) Hands on youtube!! How come!

It's a beautiful song.

Scarlet Hands - Hillsong

When Brokeness and mercy meets
how gently shall redemption speak
for love like ocean, waves they break
upon the shores of sin and shame

to you my heart will sing, oh God
for all ones lover keeps this song
in spirit and integrity
to join the song that heavens sing

scarlet hands that bled for me
servant king my everything
I kneel before you once again
surrendered now to scarlet hands

when sorrow tries my hope to kill
to worship i have risen still
for light will pass the darkest night
and peace shall be my lullaby

scarlet hands that bled for me
servant king my everything
I kneel before you once again
surrendered now to scarlet hands
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So I taught the kids some guitar..

I got back my picks. Silly kids. Couldn't bear to scold them. His explanation was that he didn't know how come they were in his pockets. I told him I accept his explanation.

They learnt 5 chords. Nearly everyone was engaged, prolly cuz they have their own guitar, thanks to the school. They were happy to get a pick each. I was happy that they were happy. I don't think many of them will get a chance to learn how to play the guitar.

We tried learning 3 songs using those 5 chords. Not many succeeded but it takes time. I will prolly bring them in for another 2 hours next week.

Summary of today: Teaching guitar (3 hours), Hairdressing salon to colour hair, Went to pick up the SH, had dinner, sent her back, badminton, home. Hungry. As usual. What's new.
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regarding what was discussed on the overhead bridge.

Initially:

Regularity -> Consistency -> Foundation

Later on:

Spontaneity -> Surprises -> (can't find a word for it yet)
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I feel like a pampered princess this weekend

and I am liking it.

The SH thinks I spent way too much on her. She said her heart aches when she thinks about how much I have spent. I was supposed to go up to KL from Friday to Sunday this weekend to spend 2 evenings with her. (she was on course from Thursday to Sunday evening). She refused to let me pay for anything. She got me First Class Aeroline seats to and fro KL. She paid for meals and taxi fares. She got me a big bottle of L'occitane shower foam which smells oh so nice as a welcome gift for me. She got me snacks just in case I got hungry at night. The only things I paid for were my own shopping (contact lens solution and stuff) and the 2 bottles of beer we had post- dinner. :)

I love the 5 hour journeys to and fro. I slept, I listened to music, I prayed, I read, I planned, I reflected. It was awesome time.

It was a sweet weekend and I am still thinking about it and smiling about it right now.
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strange and unnecessary

so many people come to talk to me about so many things. There are a few occasions when both parties in a relationship/previous relationships came to me and confided in me. I think that's when paranoia comes in play. Maybe they can't figure out how I can listen to both parties. Maybe they think I gossip about both parties behind their backs.

But I don't. This thought came to me on my 5 hour journey to KL (more about that later).

I think that was how one of the unpleasant situations arose. I was pretty close to this gal. But I was very close to her ex-gf too. Then I was also talking/communicating with the people who are not very happy with her. On top of that, this gal stepped on the nerves of this other high profile person who is pretty gum with me. Her accusation about me (to 2 people so far) was that I gossiped behind her back and told people things that she had told me. I have been wondering and thinking how that could happen. Twice, i directly approached her (once over email and another face to face) to ask if there was anything she liked to clarify with me. There was no response to the email and she changed subject and walked away when I asked her face to face. I tried, didn't I? I surely prayed. I think she's just not ready to talk about stuff. Strange given she's quite aggressive and confrontational. I just hope I won't hear from another person about what she says about me. If not...... I will...... sigh.. actually, I don't know what i will do. Poor me. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself sometimes.

God help me.
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Bass guitar

I like how the guitar teacher put some sense into me.

Basically, my plan was to get the amp and bass guitar second hand from my friend N. The original price of the LANEY Hardcore Max 15W amp and the TMG bass guitar was $499.N was selling it for $350. And they are both rather new since she has not played much with them. I went to soft.com.sg and found out that another person is selling the exact bass guitar for $140. The cost of the amp is at least $250. I was thinking of getting the set thinking there could be a possibility of upgrading the bass guitar in the near future (sell it and buy another one)

Guitar teacher told me that my current amp (1/3 of the LANEY) is enough for me. I just have to make sure that I don't blast the amp with the bass. He said also that if my purpose is just to practise (as opposed to performing outdoors, needing a more powerful amp), I do not have to get the LANEY amp. He also said that no one would buy the TGM bass guitar. THe pick ups are not so good.

So.. instead of spending $350 for a not so good bass guitar and an unnecessary amp. I can use that money plus a bit more to get a very decent bass guitar.

My guitar teacher is wise. :) And I am still learning a lot from him!
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Yay!

No more tuition sessions! Means no more money too. But I am happy!

More time to exercise.
More time for Spanish lessons.
More time to spend with the bro.
More time to meet up with people.
More time to work on the bass guitar.
More time to work on the electric guitar.
More time to work on the acoustic guitar.
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My kids stole my picks. :(

I am feeling very hurt. Because I took the effort to lug to the car the big amp, and 3 guitars so they could see and hear how the guitars loook and sound like.

I decided to teach them some basic chords since there are enough guitars for everyone. I got each of them a pick each from Malaysia. I went to listen to popular pop songs and tried playing them. I transposed the chords so they could play using the 4 chords I teach them.

When I noticed that a few of my picks were missing, I felt both angry and hurt (3 of the boys who helped carry my guitars were messing around with my picks that day). I called one of the parent to tell him to help his son check if he has any additional picks ( I didn't say the son stole them.) I hope I get the picks back. THey are my limited edition HRC picks.

Sigh.. How come they are like that. We have spoken to them so many times about honesty and integrity. SIGH.
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I should be blogging everyday

but I ain't because I am busy. What have I been busy with? Let's see..

well, last weekend was the surprise birthday thingy for the SH. This was the conversation that we had 4 times that evening.

Before checking into the hotel:

S:Happy birthday baby! Let's go!

SH:WIll there be people around like last year?

S: Of course there will be people around.

SH: No.. will there be people that we know?

S: Do you want people around? Since when do I have the time to plan? (laughs)

SH: Why are you laughing like that? You are a bad liar.

S: lalalalalala



Before going for dinner:

S: Wear jeans. We are going to a Jeans party.

SH: What's a jeans party?

S: You will know later.

SH: Will there be people around?

S: It's a party, of course there will be people around.

SH: No.. I mean, will there be people we know?

S: No. (laughs)

SH: You are laughing funny. I don't believe you.

S: okay lor.



On the way to dinner:

SH: Will there be people waiting for us wherever we are going?

S: Of course there will be people around. Who can stop people from being around?

SH: No.. will there be people we know?

S: No.. (laughs)

SH: You are laughing funny again! So will there be people waiting for us?

S: No lah.


After dinner:

SH: Where are we going now?

S: shall we head back to the hotel?

SH: Not going to the jeans party?

S: You want?

SH: No. Maybe we can ask a few people over the play scrabble (read out a few people's names)

S: Okay (pretending to text those people)

SH: Did anyone respond?

S: Yeh. M said she's reaching at 9. Let's go.

SH: Shall we get some cheese to go along with the wine?

S: Don't worry. There is enough food.

SH: Okay.

Things were turning out okay.. then someone latched the door from inside the hotel room. Best. HEHE>. but was fun.

Dinner was at Culina @ Dempsey. The backdrop was bottles of wines. It was quiet and a lovely place. I was glad she liked it. We chose the bottle of white, the oysters and the waygu beef together with the serving of mashed potatoes. It was a lovely dinner. :)

And I had fun that night, thanks to all 30 people who turned up. The cake was awesome, the cupcakes pretty and the games fun! Nice one! The lychee martini rocks.

I wanted to keep the 1664 bottle caps and the vodka empty bottle but the hotel staff were too efficient. They threw them away :(

We had Brunch @ Goodwood Park's infamous English Breakfast Tea. Awesome!

That's all about last weekend!
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It's finally over!

no more marking. Yeh yeh yeh. :)

Picked up the bass and amp from TP. Am gonna bring it to the guitar teacher to see if it's worth $350. I have been having quite a bit of fun with it. Yapoon!

My week was spoilt by a horrible person. I never thought I would say this about anyone but she's really horrible. I hope I never get to speak to her again. Feel like cursing and swearing. I had wanted to retaliate but God sent a timely message about biting the tongue. He is my advisor and my witness. That's all I need. Sigh.

As if to comfort and reinforce that, i received an email in my inbox from a friend who disappeared on me about 2 years ago after I got attached. She was upset that I didn't want to give her a chance. In the email, she apologised for disappearing and updated me about her plans for the next year. It was a good closure. Finally, after 2 years..

So.. I will just wait. for 2 others with similar incidents (SIGH I don't know why it happens to me), I prayed, I did my part, I tried to talk about it but I guess they are not ready. But I do believe God is in control. But for that irritating woman who was rude and offensive, I pray for God to speak to her!!!!! THe more horrible emails she sends, the better I feel actually. It tells a lot about her. the Blah! Getting incoherent. Should stop and pray. I prayed and prayed and prayed (someone said for her death. That got me laughing a bit).

Hung out with my colleagues last night before our big day today. Quite blah. Talk about work related stuff only. Blah blah. I am going crazy.
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My dad....

Has been on leave this week and everytimr I go home early, he will nag at me for working so few hours and continually asked me to back to work full load next year.. I think he can't accept that I am enjoying myself at this age when he was slogging when he was at my age.

I am going back full load next year. This year's pay is pretty pathetic. My savings are decreasing by the day. But I am happy and thankful. Money and achievements are not as important as relationships. When we meet God face to face, he won't ask us how many degrees we have, how many awards we have gotten, how much money we have made. He will ask us what is the quality of our relationships- with Him, And with one another.

It has been a good year for me :)
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7 more teaching days...

and I do not have to mark anymore for the rest of the year. I can't wait. The kids will be going for learning journeys to the changi chapel etc. I told them I will teach them how to play the guitar, which means I have to listen to mainstream music. Maybe I shall teach them how to do foot reflexology too. :) I remembered I taught my previous batch of p6s how to fill up the immigration departure and arrival card, and my friends were telling me it's not wise to encourage them to run away from home! So silly! :)
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One minute

makes the difference between having 50 cents or a dollar for erp
makes the difference between having free parking or not
makes the difference between having to pay for the 2nd erp or not

I made that one minute. But what a rush it was!
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Black pepper crabs

Are yummy but the shell cut my left index finger which made it impossible for me to practise and play for tomorrow. It is sad because I always look forward to playing with the worship team monthly. I guess I got to wait till next month. 2 new gals are visiting FCC tomorrow. One is a drummer for her church. How kewl is that :)
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My awesome collection of alcohol..

is getting a bit overwhelming for me. While I am thankful I do not have to worry about not having money to buy the alcohol like I would 10 years ago, I do think I might have gone overboard asking friends to buy alcohol for me whenever they go overseas. I am thankful they could. But I think I shall slow down from today onwards. Just collected a Bling Bling and hoegarden from a friend just now. I have another 2 bottles from 2 CG mates. My ex-bf will also be helping me to get another 2 bottles when he comes back from Australia end Oct.

Why do I want so many bottles? I am intrigued by the different designs of the bottles. The desire to collect bottles started with the different series that Absolut Vodka produced. I thought they were too pretty to ignore. Then when I had about 2 bottles of each flavour, I decided to collect other bottles, both unique and common; unique so I can keep, common so I can mix drinks for friends in future when I get my own place.

Talking about getting my own place, I have been praying for a place of my own where I can open up to people to chill, chat and hang out at. I am glad the SH will be able to get her place in about a month and that she had mentioned that she would love to open up her place to people. It's nice. I like that. :)

Time to get out of the towel!
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Actually...

I am still in my towel. I don't know why I like being in my towel. The SH says I am a nudist. So farney. Well, I prefer to wear as little as possible if possible.. I feel free when I get to do that. :) Strange me.

I was on the verge of booking a trip to HK to visit my old friend and experience winter again! THe last time I was in HK was 10 years ago! Also in December. IT was awesome! My ex and I ate 8 times a day. There was food everywhere.. and the weather was fabulous. My favourite temperature: 18 Degrees Celsius.

I saw tickets at Tiger Airways @ $359. But my colleagues didn't think that was cheap. And I hadn't got a reply from my friend in HK if she was coming back to Singapore during that period of time. Well, she replied a few hours later to say she will be in HK during that period of time. Hmmm... I might drop by. And I want to visit BMCF!!!!
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SH's gone for 4 days

Yesh. She went to KL to attend a course. I wanted to travel up with her but she was going to catch up with a friend/potential business partner in the evenings. Next time then. The course runs for 3 weekends.

Got to spend a bit of time before she hopped on the coach at Novena Sq. Picked her from her place, drove to Novena, collected her tickets had Kenny Rogers (the muffins!!), changed currency and bye bye!

Gonna use this weekend well! :)
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2nd post of the night/morning

inspiration to blah came when I was brushing my teeth. Watch this space. Gonna put on some clothes first.
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I am back!

See Title.
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this is the best article of all. On romance

Though this question sounds simple but it is very difficult to answer. Try it and see if you can say what romance is. Is it something to do with love? Is it togetherness and spending time with your lover? Well no it is much, much more. Romance is the very essence of life. Without romance your love life will not exist.

Romance is the true identity of your love. It brings out your true self and helps you be a better lover, husband and partner. Romance is a celebration of the life you live as part of a couple. It springs naturally and originates from within your heart. It makes you do things that you possibly couldn't have imagined to do otherwise. It shows you who you are and reminds you of the role you play in a relationship. Romance is not responsibility but it is caring about your responsibilities towards your lover and partner. Romance is the appreciation of two people who are celebrating the lucky coincidence that they found each other.

However often in the daily rush and work load people tend to forget about romance and so we have brought for you a list of things that you can do to keep the flame of romance burning in your heart forever.

Lets have a quick checklist, just for fun. At least it will make you available to comment on how far you have reached in your tryst for being a die-hard romantic! We’ve broken it up into several segments for even better testing!

Daily Romantic Checklist
1. Always compliment your lover.
2. Tell your lover how much you love him.
3. Say 'I love u' at least seven times daily.
4. Spend at least an hour together daily.
5. Give surprises or do some unexpected gesture.
6. Always call in to find out how things are with your partner.
7. Hug your partner first thing when you get up in the morning.

Weekly Romantic Checklist
1. Make it a point to spend a whole day together.
2. Do something which both of you enjoy doing together.
3. Cook her a meal.
4. Give your partner a surprise gift.
5. Give one another a good body massage followed with u-know-what.
6. Go out for a movie together.
7. Plan something special for the upcoming weekend.

Monthly Romantic Checklist
1. Plan to go out for a short trip during the weekend.
2. Go out for dinner at least twice every month.
3. Make love more often.
4. Watch at least two romantic movies.
5. Take your lover out for shopping and give her/him a beautiful gift.

Yearly Romantic Checklist
1. Think of an unusual way to celebrate your partner's birthday.
2. Make a new years resolution to be more creatively romantic.
3. Make Plans for your next anniversary.
4. Create a special 'Romance' category in your household budget.
5. Go out for a long vacation once in a year.
6. Plan out your next vacation.
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Sermon today

To be in 2 cgs means having to be around for stewardship 4 months of the year. Not that I am complaining. I was around during service anyway. Do the little I can.

Today's sermon by C was inspiring once again. It's really not the things said during that matters more than the message the sermon carries. For people who hear about sex and saunas during the sermon, that's what they would have gotten out of the sermon. I hear that message behind this question: how does Christ in my life reflect the way in which I carry out my relationships with those that I come into contact with. I also hear that message, that in the people we meet and the interactions we have with others, we should always leave the person in a better state than before they came to us, that at the end of the interaction, they will feel a bit more blessed than before we meet. That is Christian living for me; making a positive difference in the lives of others THAT people will know the reason for our faith.

I feel blessed today. What a great reminder to realign the purposefully driven life.
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I feel loved

when 2 friends leaving for Phuket for the Sayoni Camp texted me to ask if I need any Vodka. So nice to be thought of. :)
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SQ 21

just finished reading it in 1 setting. Amazing stories by amazing individuals. These are people who have come out of the closet. It's kinda sad as well because 2 of them who shared about their lives with their partners had broken up with their partners since. Do their testimony count as much now?

At the back of the book, I saw a summary of a basic model of coming out. I thought that's interesting. Sharing it now:

Self-recognition as a gay person -> Disclosure to people (usually to people who are perceieved to be affirming) -> Socialisation with other gay people -> Positive self-identification -> Integration into life and acceptance of self.

I guess I am at the beginning of the last stage now. Sometimes, I like to be out to others, but I guess I do not yet have the courage to come out to everyone at this moment in time. Sllllloooooowwwwwlllllly I guess.
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Hillsong worship team is amazing..

for the songs they compose. I am totally convinced after hearing their latest album.

Thanks to dear V, I managed to get the CD/DVD set $10 off the retail price. While I was being ministered by the songs, I thought about the people who are anti-hillsong for different reasons; most of them think that Hillsong is a homophobic church with an anti- gay ministry (I heard but have not verified). Then I remembered someone question why we should attend mainstream churches since they can't accept people like us.

The revelation I have is this; In the spiritual realm, everyone is equal before God. No one is looking at one anther. Our eyes are fixed on God. Our focus is on praising and worshipping God and nothing else matters, not the one who's standing beside us, behind us, around us. When we boycott god-loving people, are we not doing what they are doing; Being judgmental of what we think about their beliefs about us?

I saw a vision of everyone in the body of Christ worshipping together, praising God in one body, regardless of our sexual orientation. It will be great if this comes to pass in my lifetime!
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It was heartwarming to see the ex-students again..

How much they have grown. Praying that they will be useful citizens in society. Useful citizens of good character.
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Yeh. ACES Day is over!

No more big projects for the year! Yay!

The kids did wonderfully. They barely made any mistakes and they were on stage alone for the first time in their lives! Wow! I get excitement from giving this sort of first time experiences to the kids! Unfortunately, the morning session pupils were not very cooperative. Some were standing still, not doing anything. Some were pushing their friends. Some did, so that was good. I asked some students and they said they had not tried the ACES Day dance. An email was sent out notifying the video was ready and the system was set up in the hall everyday since 3 weeks ago, I think the teachers who were teaching these classes PE were plain irresponsible. Also, the teachers in charge of these classes were standing behind chatting with one another instead of supervising the kids.. Ah well...

The afternoon session pupils made the day so much better. They were all so enthusiastic that it ended the day well for all of us. It was great. :)
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is sleepy...

but thinks the bible is one of the awesome-est book ever written. Ever.
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I reflected...

and thought I should spend less time doing and more time being still.

Doing God's work and reflecting on His goodness are 2 very different things. It shouldn't be one or the other. It shouldn't even be more of one and less of the other. Both goes hand in hand. Lately, I tend to tip over to the side of doing. Time for that 1 or 2 hours of uninterrupted prayer.

Next week!
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Sometimes I think I meddle too much..

I should try to be less concerned, ask less, pray more and just be available and wait for them to initiate conversation when they want to.

Time to continue my Spanish! :)
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short reflection from last night.

So I didn't get to watch PCK because many didn't want to pay to watch PCK. The gals were nice to suggest another movie so 3 of us played badminton and watched Step Up 3. Awesome moves but poorly planned lines. A bit lame. And........ there were some things that the lead actors/actresses(the good people) did that we encourage kids NOT to do. GRRR... even though those actions were for effect, it's not very good for kids to watch and decide that doing those stuff is cool (running away from the scene after causing trouble instead of owning up and apologising, taking away 2 kids' skatescooters and dropped them on the ground after usage. Jumping into a garbage back, dispersing the rubbish in it and running away from that, stuff like that.. ) What a teacher I am.

We met 4 others for dinner at Food Republic followed by dessert @ Macs. Guess the topic of conversation?

I think it's sometimes good to steer the conversations away from the usuals and talk about more important things in life. Good.
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What a glorious day!

Happy Teachers' Day to me! Happy 10th Year in service!

Woke up early enough to eat fishball meepok, the craving I had last night before I shut my eyes to sleep. Then went upstairs to give tuition. Came home, snacked a lil before giving Cookie her bath. Now blogging while mudding the face. Guitaring lesson at 3p.m. Popping by Lot 1 to get him prezzie from Mel and me. Badminton at 5p.m. Tuition @ 7p.m. Meeting the SH for dinner after that. No marking today. Glorious glorious glorious!
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Who needs Darlene with a service like FCC today!

Today's service at FCC was unreal.. THe entire service seems to be in tune.. From worshipping during praise and worship, to the heartfelt sermon by Rev Yap, to the reflective moment during communion. The song that K played is still ringing in my head.. Such beautiful communion with the Lord today..

It's your blood that cleanses me
It's your blood that gives me life
It's your blood that took my place
In redeeming sacrifice
Washes me..
Brighter than the snow
than the snow
My Jesus, my precious sacrifice.
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The Prophet on Prayer

We did this for Ezer yesterday. I was very pleasantly surprised that it was so intimately written.. reading it touches the very core of my soul.

Then a priestess said, Speak to us of Prayer.
And he answered, saying:
You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.

For what is prayer but the expansion of yourself into the living ether?
And if it is your comfort to pour your darkness into space, it is for your delight to pour forth the dawning of your heart.
And if you cannot but weep when your soul summons you to prayer, she should spur you again and yet again, though weeping, until you shall come laughing.

When you pray you rise to meet in the air those who are praying at that very hour, and whom save in prayer you may not meet.

Therefore let your visit to that temple invisible be for naught but ecstasy and sweet communion.
For if you should enter the temple for no other purpose than asking you shall not receive:
And if you should enter into it to humble yourself you shall not be lifted:
Or even if you should enter into it to beg for the good of others you shall not be heard.
It is enough that you enter the temple invisible.

I cannot teach you how to pray in words.
God listens not to your words save when He Himself utters them through your lips.
And I cannot teach you the prayer of the seas and the forests and the mountains.
But you who are born of the mountains and the forests and the seas can find their prayer in your heart,
And if you but listen in the stillness of the night you shall hear them saying in silence,
"Our God, who art our winged self, it is thy will in us that willeth.
It is thy desire in us that desireth.
It is thy urge in us that would turn our nights, which are thine, into days which are thine also.
We cannot ask thee for aught, for thou knowest our needs before they are born in us:
Thou art our need; and in giving us more of thyself thou givest us all."

from The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran
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I can't wait for Tuesday to end..

and then ACES Day will be over. Then I can go to the gym, watch a movie..

It should be pretty fuss free since the kids are independent enough to dance by themselves on the stage. I just need to figure out what to wear right now!
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Tennis

Hit me a good ball,
I will return nicely.
Hit me a bad ball
the ball misses my sweet spot
if only the ball hits the sweet spot
then we can rally.
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24 hours

Someone asked me how I manage to squeeze so much on my plate; juggle 2 CGs, practise the guitar, taking guitar lessons, exercise, facilitate CG from time to time, update FB status updates, meeting people, spending time with the SH, reading, blogging, teaching, marking, have time alone etc etc etc.. to which my first response was that the SH is busy enough to give me enough time.

I think the honest answer is this. Being on half pay means I could have taken up more tuition assignments so I earn more. But aside from those 3 who came along my way and quite desperately asked me, I refused to accept any more assignments. Simply because I know I appreciate time to do all of the above for this season of my life.

" Set your mind on things above, not on the things that are on earth." - Col 3:2
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You are wrong

I am disappointed not because I think lowly of you.

I am disappointed because I thought highly of you.
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thought for the night

I am an easy listening ear to many, but sometimes, I wonder if I am wasting my time discussing silly things.

This gal started by asking me if I wanted to play paintball, to which I obviously said no. She calls me a wuss. I told her I would rather be a wuss than to get another bruise from PAINball. She said that her date was pain averse and asked if she should bring her to play Paintball on their date. I told her probably not. She then said her date is afraid of heights but she wants to bring her to bungee jump. Sigh.. you get the idea. I excused myself and practised the songs for worship for tomorrow's CG.

Day by day, things are getting clearer on how I should spend my time and live my life. Let not trivial matters bother me. Let me rise above my circumstances and give thanks always, believing that the God Almighty will empower me for great things. Teach me how to major on the major and minor on the minor! Grant me the wisdom and strength to help others when they are in need, such that they know that it's You who's working in me to bring about positive changes in their lives, so that they know you are indeed God Almighty!

Amen!
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and so last week was relaxing and this week will be a lil crazy!

firstly, the kids are having their Prelims so that means we have got to stay back everyday till 6p.m. to mark. That also means we have to mark some more after 6p.m.

Tonight's badminton with the usuals. Tomorrow's badminton with my badminton partner before leading worship for CG and possibly leading prayer too. Wednesday might be tennising with the SH, Thursday I have some alone time and Friday should be catching a show with the SH. In between all of that, i have to set aside time to listen to the songs and practise, practise and practise. Saturday will be Ezering and then rehearsing for Sunday's worship session and Sunday's the worst!

Rehearsal for service, service, lunch, inter-cg gathering, doggie party and then dinner with some peeps! Crazy Sunday! Crazy week!
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and so I finally got my third and last jab..

I love Fridays, when the SH has to work till 7ish as usual and I have time to spare before I meet her. Fridays are the days I would take the jabs for HPV so I have time to rest over the weekend without taking medical leave just in case I suffer a reaction to the jab. I was supposed to take the final jab in mid June but ended up procrastinating (play for worship, important events, fell sick, no time to see the doc, etc etc)

So.. after guitar lessons (where I got to jam with mel for about half an hour because we made our time overlap), I went to the gym with my gym buddy. It has been a long time. It was a good catch up, plus it's very pleasant because he's unusually positive. I think he's someone I can share my heart with.. and I think it's because he is very open about his life. I appreciate that heaps. THen I headed to the clinic and queued up for about half an hour before my turn. Good that I had the papers with me.

my arm felt unusually sore after this jab though. The area around the jab was swollen and hard this morning. Googled "Swollen after HPV" using my Iphone when I was still on my bed. Appears that it's normal. So I am glad. Yay! I am still alive after all the jabs! I am thankful!
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badminton

aiya.. forgot to log in to book on Wednesday night, yesterday and today! By now, there is only 1 court available on Thursday. There are courts on Monday and Wednesday though. Hopefully the rest can make it. I wanted to play tomorrow morning! But no courts. Bleah!
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insightful information from msn.com

and I am impressed.. because I thought they are mostly crap. I think while this article should not be used as a justification for why people cheat, it is good information for everyone so that they know what is important to a woman and how to be a better partner in a relationship.

Heard news about another couple who broke up. Not because anyone cheated. It's just sad.

Here are 10 reasons why women cheat.

1) She wants to change you
It's no secret that some women often attempt to change their man and sometimes they have unusual ways of doing it. One method, says Quilliam, is to have an affair.

"She may feel that you don't take her seriously or that she cannot get through to you. This could possibly lead to her having an affair. She could use it as a way of communicating to you that you need to get your finger out and start doing what she wants."

2) If you're constantly letting her down she'll no longer view you as an equal or someone she respects

When her life has changed
Quilliam says that some women are often driven into another man's arms without their partner doing anything wrong. It's simply a case of, "it's not you, it's me."

"If there has been a dramatic change in her life, she might have an affair," says Quilliam. "Maybe because she feels like her life has come to an end or that she has gone through a highly emotional experience. She might have an affair to compensate the shift in her life to make it mean more."

3) If she's disappointed in you
If your partner feels that you're constantly letting her down or that you're not the man she originally thought you were, she might find someone who she believes is more worthy of her attention, says Quilliam.

"She may have lost all respect for you - maybe because you're not good at your job or that you're a terrible father. If she's doing well and you're not, she won't see you as an equal. She might see you as someone she no longer admires or respects. It's tough, but it's one of the main reasons why women have affairs."

4) Exit strategy
"This is a very interesting one because not only can an affair end a relationship, but it can also be used as a transition into another," says Quilliam.

"She knows that if she has an affair with someone meaningless then you'll just walk away, leaving her single. But she might feel that she needs another relationship to go to before she splits up with you, so she might choose her next prey wisely before she goes in for the kill."

5) Losing that spark in your relationship could lead to her searching for excitement elsewhere

She's bored of the relationship
Quilliam says that she receives a large number of letters from women who want to have an affair because their current relationship has gone sour. She says: "The relationship can be going on for years and, as time goes on, it starts to lose its spark.

"She might have an opportunistic affair, where she'll come across someone that she finds good-looking and exciting - either at work or at a bar - and may decide right there on the spot that she'll have an affair."

6) Ego boost
"For some women, as with some men, their ego needs constant stroking and boosting," says Spurr. "You can rarely give enough if a woman has such high maintenance needs. This is probably much more about her - and her emotional make-up - than you!

"She'll have an affair because she just loves the thrill of the passion and subterfuge. She relishes the way he makes her feel - and knowing she also has you to come home to. Until she sorts herself out, one man may rarely be enough."

7) Jealousy
If you're fortunate enough to be blessed with good genes and, as a result, receive a lot of attention from other women, it's possible that your partner may have an affair to make the point that you're not the only one who can turn heads.

"It isn't a matter of revenge, but rather her making the point that she is attractive too," says Susan. "She is making that point to herself as well as to you."

8) Neglecting her is most likely to cause her to seek attention from someone else

She feels neglected
"Don't underestimate how much feelings of neglect can drive a woman to make a bad choice and seek attention from another man," says Spurr. "Obviously it's always better for her to tell you clearly when she feels neglected but sometimes us women are guilty of believing that men are mind-readers.

"We think that you'll soon realise at some level that you're neglecting us. For some women it then becomes a case of, "fair enough, if you're going to neglect me, I'll have a fling."

9) A lack of sexual satisfaction will make her question your loyalty and your feelings for her

Sexually unsatisfied
Unlike men, who are more likely to have an affair in order to fulfil their sexual needs, women take a more emotional approach by questioning their partner's low sex drive and often taking it personally, says Susan Quilliam, author of the book The New Joy Of Sex (published by Mitchell Beazley).

"Women put much more thought into emotional gratification," says Quilliam. "Whereas men are more likely to have an affair if they're sexually dissatisfied, women will question their partner's loyalty or assume that their man isn't in love with them anymore because they're no longer having sex." This could possibly lead to her seeking comfort in someone else's arms.

10) Revenge
"She might plunge into a 'revenge-fling' as payback if you've had an affair yourself or hurt her badly in some way," says relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr (www.drpam.co.uk). "Revenge-flings are almost always impulsive and she'll probably end up regretting it.

"It's the power of those painful feelings you've brought about in her, though, that get in the way of any rational thinking. I never recommend a revenge-fling as a way forward - two wrongs definitely don't make things right in a relationship that's been rocked by your previous affair or hurtful behaviour."
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I only want this as much as you do

Don't walk ahead of me
When you turn back
I might have walked away
Walk with me
Constantly, consistently 
Until I am rested in your love
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Plans for 2010

and so I was very excited about Development Psychology, more excited than any other plans and possibilities that I had been thinking of.. but it seems as if it is only available for MOE teachers and MOE teachers can only take that course on a part-time basis. Bleah. Which means I have to remain in teaching. The intake for next year is in August.

Remaining in the teaching service prolly means I won't be able to go for the Hillsong conference next year. And taking the course on a part-time basis means I won't be able to resign from teaching for 3 years, which means I might not be able to go for the Hillsong Conference for 3 years. But V is right. If I am meant to go, God will make a way, a way that may even mean that I do not need to resign from the service.

Studying while I am employed also reduces the course fees a great deal.. Ah well.. is this the hand I have been dealt for now? Lord, I know you are good and you have the best decisions for me, like what I have shared during CG I need to wait on you and for you to work and not take matters into my own hands.

Gotto wait and see.
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so I cut the kids' hair

I felt a little sorry for the gal because she was tearing even before I cut her hair. I ended up cutting just a lil and spoke to her for a while regarding what she was supposed to do.

Both of them are repentant, so I guess cutting their hair works. Not that they had not been warned.. Sometimes, they just need a kick on their butts!

As for me, I cut children's hair for the first time in 10 years! :)
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The importance of physical intimacy

A great sharing. Intimacy is so important in a relationship.

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.

By Stephanie Halmilton

What I learnt from CG

After today's CG, I made up my mind to set aside that pocket of time just doing nothing but remain in the presence of God. Not reading the bible, not even praying. Just thinking about God. Quite excited.

I shared that that time with God has a very intangible benefit. People see me as happy-go-lucky and easygoing person. Some people say bo chap. I think it's the peace I feel in me that translates to how I am as a person. Moreover, that peace gives clarity of mind and wisdom to make good decisions. All praise and glory to God.

The only area that I can't seem to manage is my relationship with the SH. I tend not to be able to handle the relationship in the same way I handle other matters. And it's trying at times. Sigh. I pray that things will get better over time. It has, I guess. Just need to have faith that things will work out fine.
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Pass it on pass it on.

just reached home after CG sending two peeps home. One is along the way, the other out of the way. But she seems very drained and tired. We had a good conversation in the car nevertheless. She was very thankful for the ride home. I told her to pass it on.

God blesses so we can pass on our blessings to someone else that they may see and know His love, grace and mercy through us. There's no other way I can see this.
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Memento style

So many things happened this weekend!

For one, I had the debut drumming experience at FCC. I really didn't want to do it but they said it's part of understudying.

I didn't really want to understudying drums since I am still working on my acoustic guitar. I mean, the next instrument I like to perfect would be the bass.

The story goes like this. On Wednesday, I vaguely remembered that there is one week where no drummer is available. I thought having a simple beat is better than having no beat at all, unless they were planning to do it the acoustic style. I checked the worship schedule on Friday, realised it was this weekend where they do not have the drummer. I asked Mel for the songs, asked the worship leader if he needs a drummer and he said YES. I thought I might try to join them at rehearsal to see how it goes. Asked the worship leader and he said it will be good to have a drummer.

So.... I went to FCC on Friday and spent 4 hours practising drumming. Had another hour or so of practice on Saturday. Then.. I saw J. I asked her if she was available. She was, just that she was really drained by the week. I offered her a foot reflexology session (so I don't have to drum) to help her relax. She was bought over after some persuasion. haha.. And I thought I didn't need to play, but.......
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Furthering my studies

I am really excited about studying Developmental Psychology. I am really passionate about doing this. I hope NIE has it on a full time basis. With the intake in August, the timing will be perfect.

This is what I will be studying!

Social and Emotional Development of Children and Adolescents
Child and Adolescent Cognitive Development
Counselling Children and Adolescents
Motivation, Volition and Instruction Individual Differences and Learning

Praying praying praying!
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I have learnt..

" The most brilliant strategy in the world won't do any good if you can't deliver on it. "

That one liner is from an article from Harvard Business Review. It reminded me about my thoughts about classroom teaching, something that had been on my mind the past 2 months..

I was just thinking.. No matter how much content knowledge one has, how proficient one is in their subject matter, how high one's qualifications are, if the students you are teaching are not receptive to what you want them to learn, you have failed as a teacher. Yes? No?

Being able to inspire the students suddenly becomes more important. You want to inspire them to learn, and that means facilitating becomes more important than teaching. In order to facilitate well, you need to be well-prepared. To compete with creative modes of information technology which permeates every part of their life, you have got to spend more time preparing your lesson.. I am sure this happens in Secondary School too.. Beyond that, students should be probably more self-motivated to learn.

But anywayz, when you get to that level of realisation, teaching starts to become more complex......

Off for badmintion! :)
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options next year

I really really want to study. But taking my masters in a year means I have to be in Australia, something I am a little reluctant to do.. unless the SH comes along. If I study masters based on coursework purely, I have to remain as a full time teacher. If I want to take no pay leave to take my masters, I have to do a research degree. Choices choices choices. Still praying. Still waiting for clearer directions.

And I really want to make it for next year's Hillsong Conference.

And I really want to make time to start writing songs.

I am inspired.
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of kroeonburg Blanc

and that is our favourite beer for now. They serve them in bottles @ TImbre too. We had dinner there after watching Drifting Flowers. Live music, beer, pizza and good conversations. Zy bought us drinks so that's cool.

I had a bottle on Monday too when I went to one of my friend's place for the Aussie group gathering. I bought a pack of 6, left 2 at home for the SH and myself and brought 4 over. Usually, the 2 married women won't drink beer but they liked the Blanc too! It's good.

My ex is getting married in Jan next year. I kinda guessed that she will finally let us know yesterday and she did. She shared with us on how he proposed etc. I am happy for her. I hope she will have a happy marriage. Once she gets married, I will be the only "single" one in the group. Bleah. I don't know if I will feel as comfortable already. Well.. unless I bring the SH along for gatherings and come out to them.. :p Ah well.. will cross the bridge when I reach it.

Oh. The title of this entry is supposed to be just about beer.

the French makes great beer. :D
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I look like a mad woman when I let my hair down

and so I called my aunt and asked if her hairdresser was free this afternoon. She said yes! I am here right now, waiting patiently for nicer hair. I have in the car stacks of marking and was tempted to bring one but decided that I needed a break, I have in front of me chords for the songs for tomorrow. Had meant to study them but decided reading a travel magazine is more relaxing. I feel like sleeping.. Zzzzzz.
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of tuition and neighbours

and so my 2 students are my neighbours who live 1 storey above me. Their mum baked this lovely cheese and sugar sticks which she offered to me today. How awesome is that. She also makes the healthiest fruit juices. I am so envious thinking about the kind of food their mum cooks for them. The mum told me that she has to prepare at least 5 portions of food for each of them to bring to school because their friends always want a piece of what they have in their lunch boxes.

And so, my colleague asked me to give tuition to one of her ex-students. Primary 4 girl living down the road. English, once a week, an hour and a half each time. $50 an hour. Why not?

Just got back from the second lesson. She's rather easy to teach. And I know how to help her get better grades, thanks to experience. That is a motivation to go and teach.

Conversely, if I have taught the P6 boy almost everything that I know I could teach him, going to give him tuition gets a bit tiresome. I was even bought him a Secondary 1 assessment book for him already. He better get his A* for English. It's up to him now.
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oh!

just received the song titles :D God is good.
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Weekend - Sunday

I slept from midnight till 9a.m. and dragged myself out of bed to see the doctor. The doctor diagnosis was not very comprehensive. He asked fewer questions than my friend and concluded that he didn't know what the cause of the pain was but that it would get better after medication. Bleah.

Took medication after some food and went back to sleep. It was sucky not being able to go to church this morning. Slept slept and slept. Till I decided I could sleep no more. Woke up, showered and headed to Garden Slug to meet the gals. Seeing them made me happier. It was a good time though I didn't talk much. Sent some of them back before marking another stack in the car at the multi-storey car park. Happy I was!

Doc gave me medical leave for tomorrow, but I reckon I will need to go. Just finish teaching and go back. I have guitar lessons tomorrow. A bit stressed that the songs for Friday are not ready. Oh well! That is life!
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Weekend - Saturday

Got to sleep in so that's good. Woke up to get ready for graduation photo shoot for my sister.

Felt very sick after that. Was marking in the car waiting for the SH to call me back to let me know where to meet. I texted her to tell her that I was feeling sick and told her we would meet later if I was better. I was about to head home when she called back and said she booked us a movie at 3p.m. I spent half an hour marking in the car until it was time to meet her. We watched the show, had porridge dinner at crystal jade and headed home and after I parked, I continued to finish my marking and I was glad I did. I can't believe the most productive moments of marking would be in the car.

So I went back home and felt pain on 2 localised points along my panty line which kept me up as I was napping. Was running a temperature and was a bit worried so called a doctor friend. He was good, asked the right questions, said the right things and I was very comforted after that. Slept from 830 to 1130p.m., woke up, ate some food, took my medication and went back to sleep. What a day!
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weekend - Friday

Friday night was ladies night @ Hard Rock Cafe. From 1030p.m., a table of 4 ladies can queue up for 6 shots of I don't know what each. RSP, J, the SH and I headed down after a garlic bread dinner @ Esmirada but no one takes no shots, so ladies night didn't concern us.

We saw this 14 year old boy doing a Guns and Roses song on the electric guitar. Makes me think, Amin actually could play like that when he was 13. Too bad he was too passive about playing on stage.

Anywayz, the mud pie @ HRC is fabulous. think huge slab of ice-cream coated with hershey's almond pieces, some toffee like stuff, some coffee like stuff and an oreo like crust at the bottom. I also had the Blanc White again. Half a pint as usual. The SH as usual took a full pint.

I like the live music. I like the dynamics of different instruments coming together. It's great.

I have been pretty down lately. So forgive me for the late of enthusiasm. I will merely be recounting for the next few days.
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Funnee

I came out to my ex bf over msn. While marking.

It has been 45 minutes.. and he's still in shock.
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Friday was interesting

The SH treated us to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. She says that since we need laughter in the relationship, she is bringing it to us. And since we can't go to Australia, she will bring Australia to us. That's a sweet thing to say. It's been a while since I heard something like that.

We then headed to look for dinner (at 1030p.m.!) and settled at FATBOYS Burgers just down the road from Singapore Repertory Theatre. She said that's the best burger she has tasted and she's not a burger person. It's yummy but really big. We ended wasting the fries. That was the first time we tried the Kronenbourg beer. She took the lager but preferred my white. I couldn't finish the entire glass as usual, so I guess she was happy.

I always like the Robertson Walk area, especially at the courtyard. I feel relaxed whenever I am there. I like to have a place around that area, God willing.
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It's hard to write listening to Lincoln Brewster..

so I switched back to good ol hillsong.

So.. I thank God for credit card reward points, where I could give the SH her 16th Monthniversary gift. I thank God for prepaid packages that I do not need to spend much buying dinner @ Hua Ting where I think I tasted the best Peking Duck ever. I thank God also for her willingness to go with me to HRC because I was itching for a bit of live rock musik. It was fabulously engaging until the lead singer of Energy looked a bit possessed singing AC/DC's Highway to hell. And I thank God for her treat where I tasted the best Mud Pie ever. EVER. Plus, we got to drink the Kronenbourg Blanc for the second time in 2 days. It has become my most favouritest beer after Paulaner's :) It's light, refreshing and fruity! She had a pint and me, half a pint, as usual.
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while listening to Lincoln Brewster

and thinking about the marvelous sounds he can make on his guitar. I wonder how long guitarists practise to get to this stage. I wonder how much of it is talent and how much is giftings which became more pronounced after they started serving God with the guitar.

I regret that I have not maintaining this blog with insights from my guitar lessons. I don't usually spend the weekends blogging. I think taking guitar lessons is one of the best investment I have made ever.

Well, the update is that I am getting myself familiarise with the string instruments so I can be more versatile. I got frustrated once when there were 2 acoustic guitar players and no electric guitar player. I did not have the confidence to play the electric guitar because I have not tried it before. Now, with the exception of the week when I play the acoustic guitar, I have started to learn how to play the electric guitar for about 2 months now. I hope to be able to learn enough to fill in if there's a need to. But I think the instrument I prolly want to specialise in and play very well would be the bass guitar.

The learning curve is as usual exponential. He crams 90% of the lesson with 100% new knowledge and I end up remembering 50% of what he taught and practise about 30% of that. The good thing is that he repeats what he has taught the week before.

I hope to be able to give as much to the kids I give tuition to like how much he has been giving me in that 45 minutes of lesson.

His first question everytime before we start lesson: How can I help you today?
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Time to get back online..

whenever I am involved in one form of ministry, I got to be disciplined and not be distracted since I can't multi-task so well when I am doing serious stuff. Now that one form of ministry has stopped temporarily, it's time to go back to the other.
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so angry with a parent..

and I think I was a bit harsh with the things I said to her. Sigh. Should have prayed before speaking.

Son cheated during test today. He said the mum knew that he was going to cheat but he still cheated anyway. I called the mum, spoke to her nicely about how important character development is and how that is more important than the score he gets for the test. The mum said that he is not the only one in the class who cheated. She said that she has heard from the few students how they cheated before too. I know that that is highly impossible but she kept saying that they told her that they cheated. I asked for names but she didnt want to give names. Finally, after much grilling, I managed to get her to admit that she actually heard from her son about the cheating cases and not from the students themselves. That brought her credibility right to the ground. She implied that the reason why the children cheated was because I was pushing them too hard and that she had spoken to some parents and they think so too (like how would I believe her now)? She said she is not the type to go to the HODs and Principal because she believes that she prefers to go to the teacher directly (I see that as a threat). I was very pissed then. I told her that if she can come down, we can talk, discuss and investigate this in front of the Principal. She said she's busy and that I can handle and punish her son accordingly if he has really cheated and that I should carry out some investigation about the previous students who cheated.

???????? going to let go of this case for now and just get back my sanity. It's hard to be gentle and kind in speech when I talk to parents like that!
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About Mary and Martha

I think it's good to be a Martha if we have the posture of a Mary.
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Get to sleep in nearly everyday!

It is quite funny that as I start to commit plans for the year 2011 to God when I received notification that my school timetable has changed to facilitate the transfer of 3 of my students who are switching from Standard Math to Foundation Math class.

As if God knows that I enjoy sleeping in, the timetable is planned in such a way that I only have to wake up at 6.30 a.m. on Friday. I get in at 9 a.m. on Mondays, 11a.m. on Tuesdays, 8.30 a.m. on Wednesdays and 9a.m. on Thursdays. That will mean I end later on these days, but no complaints. I am so not a morning person.

What does it mean? He wants me to have more rest so I will be energised so I don't have to resign next year? Hmm..
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I am thankful, really thankful.

It was a wonderful weekend though sad to know that 2 of my friends have fallen sick after coming back from Australia. Am praying for quick healing for them.. Another friend's dad is into his last days suffering from lung cancer..

I am feeling pretty relaxed now that I don't have to play for worship next Sunday. I enjoy playing and I enjoy serving in the worship ministry. Serving causes me to be more disciplined with my time because I have to carve out at least an hour and a half daily listening to the songs repeatedly to get the rhythm and tune ingrained, then spend time practising so that the transitions between chords are smooth. I am glad for the break for the next 2 weeks. :)

I will be leading worship for CG this Tuesday though. I think my fingertips are hardening. Ganbatte!
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blah

being on half pay is challenging. At least I learnt to be frugal as much as possible. Can't wait to get back to full pay. BIG SIGH.

175 per week to sustain a relationship is not too much I guess.

Plans plans plans. Praying about direction for next year.
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What I learnt from reading today's news

I learnt what a vuvuzela is; the horn-shaped instrument that creates the loud horn-like sound during soccer/rugby matches at the stadium. (I have become painfully aware of new words after I started scrabbling).

I learnt that Amanda Jantzen, who exposed me to my first live jazz experience, is here in Singapore and performing tomorrow at the Esplanade.

I learnt that Singapore's new brand values are "transforming", "nurturing", "collaborating" and "daring to dream".

Am still reading the papers.
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Oh!

I forgot to add!

I HAD AN AWESOME TIME WITH THE SH THIS WEEKEND!! :D
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Random

Recently, I engaged the help of my friend to give tuition to 2 of my kids at a lower rate than the normal rate that school teachers usually charge since the kids are not well to do families. They are kids who consistently get less than 20 marks for their Math. Though I do not teach them Math, I am their form teacher and I really do not wish for them to repeat P6 next year because they get fewer than 20 marks for their Math.

Anywayz, he buzzed me and ask me if I got them to remember a lot of stuff for English. He said I am using up their memory space, so much that one of them cannot even do basic subtraction. Oops. I do work their brain quite a bit for English.. I don't think I am not the cause of their bad Math results though!

Time to get back to marking. Am listening to the same 4 songs for worship this Sunday repeatedly. Very challenging wor.. God will need to help me more this time.. Doing this for Him anyway!

I had been lazy reading the bible. It feels like something is gnawing at me inside. Some habits are fantabulous!
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silly me

I had to lock the blog because I went to use aussiefreakshen as my Words with Friends ID and I am currently playing Scrabble with 4 colleagues.. Just don't wish for them to chance upon the blog :)

Sorry if it's a hassle to log in to read.

hugs
me
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first week of work...

is somewhat exhausting the energy I acquired and accumulated during the holidays. I can imagine what I will be like on full load!

Nevertheless, I still give thanks that I am able to read my book, practise my guitar, spend time listening to people, talking with them, praying, yada yada yada admist my planning and marking. This will be an interesting 3 months before the end of the PSLE. I will miss the kids.. They are so precious. I really pray that they will clear the PSLE and move on to a good Secondary school...

Time to wash off the mud and get ready to meet the SH before badminton!

TGIF soon!
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Ezer Retreat!

superb! though i had to go without the SH, I had an awesome time catching with the other 8. SC often calls Ezer the auntie squad. I believe so. I gain much however, from their sharing through their experiences and I am thankful God brought me into the group.

A group of 3 went up to Pulai Springs on Friday after some drama. Then the remaining 5 went on Saturday. I was reminded that the thing I love most about road trips are the conversations in the car. We joked, we laughed, we shared honestly, we laughed. Lots of laughter! I likeeeddd!
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distractions

Scrabbling on the iphone is time consuming! I can be so obsessed about something/someone once I am into it/her. This would be under the spirit of self-control.

Need to regulate.. and follow my schedule!
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SHORTCUT!

I reckon that we can grow more discerning and wiser through experience and age. However, I realised that there can be a shortcut and this wisdom and discernment need not necessarily come through suffering nor a greyed head.

This short cut is readily available by the anointing of the Holy Spirit. For when we are engaged with our creator whose thoughts are higher than our thoughts, whose ways are higher than our ways, who is sovereign over all the earth, then we are blessed with this uncanny ability to deal with situations with wisdom and discernment.

Yes?
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long randoms

it's nearly 2a.m. I was awake mostly because I was chatting with someone I got to know some time ago. I am not so sure if I can really call her a friend because I don't even know her real name. But I completely understand her journey.. I have been through that stage before.

I am enjoying the last of the holidays. Holidays mean not having to teach a classroom of kids. I love seeing my kids, I love teaching them. It just gets tiring after a while. I don't really fancy speaking aloud very much. I really prefer writing. If I could express myself better, possess better grammar skills with flowery language, I would probably like to be a writer. No one believes that I am naturally an introvert. Life has trained me to be an extrovert though.

I really love how reading the bible causes me to clear my mind and sharpen my thoughts. It sets my perspective right and aligns my heart aright once again. I feel in tune with God. And I am not even talking about what I had read from the bible. Like, how does the book of Judges help in all these? I can only reckon that the bible is really a living word, and the spirit of God who leads the writing of His word is present.

CG today was awesome. The whole family was present. We celebrated 2 persons' birthdays. It was a nice feeling to see everyone. I am praying for greater positive changes in the lives of these precious ones of God. They are so dear to me. I think it's true, how when you pray more for someone, you tend to feel more for them?

I am really flattered when one of the worship leaders told me that the first person he thought of playing the acoustic guitar for the new song he had composed is me. I must be one of the least experienced one around. Just like what I shared with a friend whom I gave a lift home after cg today; the more rotten a person used to be, the more the grace of God is evident in that person's life. It's the same.. when one is skilful in the instrument that they play, they can get away with just about anything.. but when one is not, and in need of God's grace, then people can see the hand of God at work.

I appreciate moments like these, writing out my thoughts. Now I shall continue reading the seven levels of intimacy.. which I am enjoying very much. I learnt a lot from the book! And I am consistently challenged! Thank God I found the book!
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The last 2 hours @ Brisbane standing outside the airport, enjoying the cool wind

I think I have finally figured out why I keep going back to Australia. The thought came to me as I was taking a lovely drive down a familiar road 2 nights ago. It was an upslope and I recalled driving to this part of Brisbane before with my ex. We had stopped the car then and enjoyed the view of the stars above us for a few minutes.

As that moment came to mind, I suddently felt a deep sense of loneliness. I wish then the SH was there to share these nice moments with me. I felt then that without someone special to spend my life with, life would not be as colourful. Strange I would feel this way since I was mostly happy when I was single. It was quite a foreign feeling, to know that I would feel that those special moments could only be felt with a loved one and it wouldn't feel that special anyway else.

So.. I guess the reason why I kept going back to Australia, was how Brisbane really feels like home to me. The 2 years I spent living there were the best times of my life so far. In going back, I could be a little closer to those sweet memories.

I am looking forward to sharing moments more wonderful than those 2 years wtih the SH in time to come. Till then, let me find a way to fix my Aussieland addiction :)
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Persistent prayers

36 Then Gideon said to God, “If you will save Israel by my hand, as you have said, 37 behold, I am laying a fleece of wool on the threshing floor. If there is dew on the fleece alone, and it is dry on all the ground, then I shall know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you have said.” 38 And it was so. When he rose early next morning and squeezed the fleece, he wrung enough dew from the fleece to fill a bowl with water. 39 Then Gideon said to God, “Let not your anger burn against me; let me speak just once more. Please let me test just once more with the fleece. Please let it be dry on the fleece only, and on all the ground let there be dew.” 40 And God did so that night; and it was dry on the fleece only, and on all the ground there was dew.
Judges 6:36-39

I think..Sometimes, there needs to be an acknowledgement and confession to God that we have done something wrong. Sometimes God waits to see if we really want what we ask for and persist in asking for it. Lesson learnt: persistence in prayer yet not be discouraged that persistent prayers are not answered. Afterall, if God is the one who is all-knowing and all-loving, why can I not trust that His plans are the best for me?
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Last one for the day...

before heading to MCC BRisbane to hear Carolyn preach! :)

For a long time now, I get frustated now and then because just like the bible, there are huge masses of people who believed in Jesus mostly when miracles are performed.

In my sharing of my life with others, maybe becasue I don't pray very much for miracles/don't let known, I find myself hindered on one or two occasions because.. everybody can be very nice, successful etc.. so what sets us apart from the rest?

Today, Darlene shared that the difference bewtween us and others is that the presence of God with us. It is not just good works that we do.. we have God in us. How powerful that revelation is! :)

She shared that there is a presence whenever we step into the room/a shop etc. And people know.. I am not sure how true that is for me.. but I noticed that whenever I step into a shop, the customers will start coming in. So what used to be an empty shop will be crowded after a while.. hehe..
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Powerful gems

So many people want to seek the experience feeling refreshed/energized/good. That in itself is not wrong. But I was reminded again by Darlene to seek not the experience, but to seek God first and we will be sure to get the WOW experience!

Darlene shared to live aware of the presence of God. Because when we are aware of God's presence in our lives, that will keep us from being self-aware; selfish and caring only about us and ourselves. I want to stay hungry for His presence! It's awesome!

Another thing. Darlene was sharing how she just got back from Zimbaewe and how the adults are dying of AIDS and one out of every 3 are starving but how encouraged she was being there for a public worship service, the last one held in 1984. She shared how she was encouraged seeing the presence of God manifest and the power of God work in these 3rd world countries.. It kinda reminded me of the mission trips I had taken.. Really, we always say we are there to help improve the lives of others, but I think I benefited more from going for the mission trips. :)

These 2 verses spoke to me today.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Psalms 34:8

God inhabits the praises of His people Psalm 22:3

So praise and worship is so wonderful because it is God's presence manifest amongst us! :)
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New song by Hillsong sung this morning.

All I ever need I find in your unending love. Such a powerful one-liner. From one of the new songs they sang this morning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7jDjpXt6VM (adult version, this morning's version but only part of the song)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkI3-kCzvwQ (the whole song from the Hillsong Youth Album


UNENDING LOVE
Words and music by Sam Knock and Jill McCloghry



INTRO:

Bm |G |D |D



VERSE1:

Bm

There's no silver or gold

G

And no treasure untold

D

That could draw me away from Your heart

Bm

Neither never myself

G D

More than anyone else will do



PRE-CHORUS:

A Bm G

Jesus nothing compares

A Bm G

To this grace that rescued me

A Bm G

Savior now and forever

A Bm G

Your face is all I seek



CHORUS:

D

Now all I am

A Bm

I lay at Your feet

G

I'm humbled by the wonder of Your majesty

D

One thing I know

A Bm

I've found what I need

Bm

In your unending love

G

In your unending love



Bm |G |D |D

Bm |G |D |D



VERSE2:

Bm

Letting go of my pride

G

I lay down my desires

D

Just to worship in spirit and truth

Bm

More than all of my dreams

G D

More than fame I will seek You Lord
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Precious Gems in a power-packed message part 1

What comes out of the house is determined by the health of the house.

The service pastor was talking about tithing. But I can't help thinking that it applies to us too. What comes out of our mouths, our actions is determined on how "healthy" we are. If the God of love is in us, we will not do or say anything that will be hurtful, will we?

But I am also reminded that change that is truly effective is the change that starts from the inside out, the love and grace of God working in our lives, in our hearts, to transform us and we will surely manifest His goodness outwardly.
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how long do new habits last?

moisturise - harden - play along with sense of humour - dress neat - fly on Sat - write cards - play tennis - read papers dilligently - take effort to learn new information
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7 levels of intimacy by Matthew Kelly

It is seldom I speak well of a non-christian self-improvement book. This is delightful so far. Can't wait to fish out all the gems from the book.
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Love as we know it

Is it true that love is patient
Is it true that love is kind
Is it true that love does not insist on its own way
is it true that love bears all things, believes all things
Is it true that love hopes all things, endures all things
Is it true that love never fails?

then I must have loved wrong
When will the sun shine.. and remain shining?
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Paul is a bit naggy in Romans.

See title.
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I bring you with me..

Iphone
angry birds
koss
journal
light blue pen
seiko
photos
your hugs
and kisses
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You never let go - Matt Redman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76ifTTuL4XI

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

(Chorus:)
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

(Chorus)

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You


Christian lyrics - YOU NEVER LET GO LYRICS - MATT REDMAN
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Reading for today and some more..

How precious these moments with the Lord are.. sweet, energizing.. inspiring.. refreshing..

I am looking forward to more of that in Brisbane. Going there without the SH only means one thing - a personal retreat! Good replacement for the church camp.

Of course, I am also looking forward to the cool air, the warm sun, and catching up with friends who are there!

Had an awesome time with the Lord this morning. Lessons that stand out:

" remember it is not you who support the root, but the root that supports you.
do not become proud, but fear" - Romans 11:18-20

Romans 11:33-36

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!

“For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?”

“Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?”

For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.
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Poetry in the midst of marking

I was talking to the SH about something when she said what I said reminded her of a poem. She dug it out in a matter of minutes. After I read the poem, I thought it represented everything that I feel. It felt like I had written this! I should read more poetry because whenever I read poetry, I am inspired to write. But I can't now. I am marking. Bleah. Soonnnnnn.

If You Forget Me

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Pablo Neruda
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about worship and the acoustic guitar

Somebody commented that she can't really hear the sound of the acoustic guitar when I am playing. And if every instrument has a role to play in the worship team, wouldn't that mean that that instrument was redundant? It was a harmless comment but I can't remember why I was bothered by that remark. Perhaps it made me feel inadequate and worthless in the worship team. Afterall, I want to have a part to play when I am with the team.

It isn't a bad thing actually because I don't want to be heard. I have never wanted to be on stage because I don't feel comfortable being seen and heard on stage. I decided to join the worship team merely because I was led into it.. plus I always had a heart for the worship ministry. It felt right when I finally took that step of faith to be involved. So I should be more than happy that people cannot hear the acoustic guitar when I am playing it especially when being able to hear it sometimes means a wrong chord is played. But I guess hearing that remark made me doubt my worth not just as a musician but a musician in service of God's people through the ministry. I guess I was affected because I felt useless to some degree. And I doubt my worth in the worship team. It wasn't a nice feeling at all but I am thankful for the reminder that worship is really not about me but about God. And He uses every part of my service to Him. It didn't really matter because I don't have to be heard to show that God is using me. Also, my guitar teacher did tell me that the acoustic guitar in a band is a support for the drums in setting the rhythm for the songs.

It's an honour to be serving with the rest of god-loving musicians, with hearts fervant for God. I am so appreciative of the gifts and talents that God has bestowed upon them and I am thankful to be playing alongside with them. I pray that I will always remember that worship is primarily about God, not about me, and God will use me as He deems fit.
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While waiting for the SH to pick me up, outside Cheers supermarket

I know I have put on weight when I don't need to put on a belt.

I need to go to sky fitness soon to read the latest copy of Men's health for free.

I am looking forward to the SATC movie date this weekend!

I met with 35 parents today!

To save money, I try not to step into Cheers supermarket unless really necessary *

The anticipation of seeing the SH gets rid of Monday blues.

*severely pmssing
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Evening Primrose

About 15 years ago, I have heard of the wonders of the EVENING PRIMROSE. It reduces the premenstrual symptoms, it seems. Another lady said she feels more womanly and shapely after she started taking the evening primrose. I think I tried once but the pill was too big for me. So I gave up.

THe SH bought me a bottle as our monthiversary gift because she wanted to maintain my hormonal balance so my PMS doesn't act out on her and thus the relationship. hehe.. after hearing that I don't do BIG Evening Primrose pills, she brought me shopping for smaller ones and kept the big ones for herself. So we should be hormonally balanced soon. :p

But I am womanly and shapely enough already what.haha..
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Favourite food

I talk about food a lot. That's because I love food. I ate all my favourite food today. Herbal chicken for lunch, Jurong East's Wantan noodle for tea, and BBQ chicken wings, stingray, sotong and kangkong for dinner. So yummy.

The SH started me on another evil yesterday. SHe gave me dark chocolate maltase. It's so addictive! She loves me. Hee.
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