What I realised:
My soul is being nourished.
His love is extravagant.
Build deep, then the kingdom of God will naturally grow wide.
Strengthen our roots.
.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Spiritual Authority
This was one of the things we spoke about in Ezer last night. The issue sparked off from something in ACTS Chapter 5. I couldn't quite remember what it was. But E brought up a point about spiritual authority over us and that sparked off a whole series of views about spiritual authority.
Just a few weeks ago, during IDT, we were being taught the different sorts of leadership we are placed under; Leadership at the church, leadership in the family, leadership at the workplace, and leadership at the _______ (I can't remember :p) . At that point in time, when we were placed in our small groups, and the question " Which area do you have most difficulty submitting yourself under?" was brought forth. I remembered that I didn't have much difficulty in all aspects.
At home, my parents pretty much treat me as their peer, even asking for my advice at times. Sure, they nag and require me to do certain stuff at times but it is not something I have a problem submitting to them about. At the workplace, I have enough confidence in God's sovereignty based on his excellent track record in my working life that I do not have to prove anything to anybody. Being secure in who I am in Christ, I do not have a problem submitting to the leadership at work unless they require of me to do something against my values.
In church, I believe in the wisdom and authority that God has given to the Senior Pastor of the church, though like what SL shared, our ultimate spiritual authority is Christ who is in us. E brought up a real situation, something like what she is facing. She asked, in view of what I believe in following the church leadership's direction, if I were out to my mainstream church and they had asked me to go for counselling, what would I do?
I feel at peace going for the counselling. Maybe it's easy to say now because it has not happened. But what ran through my mind is not the issue of losing one's identity or losing the pride of who I am or having the need to change who I am. In regards to the negotiables in the bible, the grey areas (eg, speaking in tongues, the style in which the holy communion is taken, how certain things are done this way and that way, etc), no one can say for certain what is right and wrong way of them all. I believe that the word of God is inspired by God, and everything in it is true. It is how people interpret the word of God that causes the differences.
So most mainstream churches think that homosexuality is wrong, and they have their interpretations of the bible to support their point of view. FCC has their interpretations of the 6 passages where homosexuality is mentioned. Why would I not be open to hearing the other point of view? Why would I just subscribe to one point of view? Doesn't that mean that I only hear what I want to hear and not what God has to say? I told the group that I have no problem going for the counselling, simply because I know that God loves me and that he will not shortchange me. He is a God who works, and if there is anything that He wants to change about me, He will reveal. I need to adopt that teachable heart to be receptive to what He says. And like what H says, God gives us that discerning spirit. He lives in us, and He will speak if we are open to listen.
Honestly, I don't have an problem with listening, I have a problem with obedience, and immediate obedience for that matter. I need to be changed in this aspect. Maybe that's why some people don't want to hear, maybe? Maybe they would want to be obedient. These people are better than me. Bleah.
.
Just a few weeks ago, during IDT, we were being taught the different sorts of leadership we are placed under; Leadership at the church, leadership in the family, leadership at the workplace, and leadership at the _______ (I can't remember :p) . At that point in time, when we were placed in our small groups, and the question " Which area do you have most difficulty submitting yourself under?" was brought forth. I remembered that I didn't have much difficulty in all aspects.
At home, my parents pretty much treat me as their peer, even asking for my advice at times. Sure, they nag and require me to do certain stuff at times but it is not something I have a problem submitting to them about. At the workplace, I have enough confidence in God's sovereignty based on his excellent track record in my working life that I do not have to prove anything to anybody. Being secure in who I am in Christ, I do not have a problem submitting to the leadership at work unless they require of me to do something against my values.
In church, I believe in the wisdom and authority that God has given to the Senior Pastor of the church, though like what SL shared, our ultimate spiritual authority is Christ who is in us. E brought up a real situation, something like what she is facing. She asked, in view of what I believe in following the church leadership's direction, if I were out to my mainstream church and they had asked me to go for counselling, what would I do?
I feel at peace going for the counselling. Maybe it's easy to say now because it has not happened. But what ran through my mind is not the issue of losing one's identity or losing the pride of who I am or having the need to change who I am. In regards to the negotiables in the bible, the grey areas (eg, speaking in tongues, the style in which the holy communion is taken, how certain things are done this way and that way, etc), no one can say for certain what is right and wrong way of them all. I believe that the word of God is inspired by God, and everything in it is true. It is how people interpret the word of God that causes the differences.
So most mainstream churches think that homosexuality is wrong, and they have their interpretations of the bible to support their point of view. FCC has their interpretations of the 6 passages where homosexuality is mentioned. Why would I not be open to hearing the other point of view? Why would I just subscribe to one point of view? Doesn't that mean that I only hear what I want to hear and not what God has to say? I told the group that I have no problem going for the counselling, simply because I know that God loves me and that he will not shortchange me. He is a God who works, and if there is anything that He wants to change about me, He will reveal. I need to adopt that teachable heart to be receptive to what He says. And like what H says, God gives us that discerning spirit. He lives in us, and He will speak if we are open to listen.
Honestly, I don't have an problem with listening, I have a problem with obedience, and immediate obedience for that matter. I need to be changed in this aspect. Maybe that's why some people don't want to hear, maybe? Maybe they would want to be obedient. These people are better than me. Bleah.
.
In hiding
I am hiding in the computer lab after the remedial session with my pupils. Here is where I can get some peace. I really have no idea how teachers can continue talking even when they have been talking the whole day.
I am quite high strung at the moment. So are the teachers in my level. One colleague said she has been snapping at anybody and everybody who crosses her path. I think we are all stressed going into this last week of preparation for the kids taking their PSLE.
I reckon the anticipation of the PSLE next week doesn't make me feel better. Because together with that, I know that I am also PMSsing, and with the issues that were brought up during Ezer's discussion yesterday, it sparked off quite a few thoughts in me. I can't really talk about my thoughts till I process them and I can't process them when I do not have some quiet time of contemplation and writing to verbalise what I feel. So being in this place, at this time, is good.
It doesn't help too, that people are asking about the follow up from the family sharing session. I do not feel good knowing that there are two distinct point of views, I do not feel good that I can understand where both sides are coming from. I do not feel good that I do not have a clear answer at the moment how to best handle the situation. I feel like I am standing in between, and stretched.
If I don't know better, it feels like I am hard pressed at every side. At times like this , I thank God for His promises, that the bible says in 2 Corinthians 4: 8 - 9 that "We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed." Thank God for His word.
ahah! That's one of the reasons why memorising verses are important. :) People of God, we must pray. Pray for the CG, pray for direction, pray for one another, and pray for our own walk to be in existence, that we may hear and know what is God's way.
.
I am quite high strung at the moment. So are the teachers in my level. One colleague said she has been snapping at anybody and everybody who crosses her path. I think we are all stressed going into this last week of preparation for the kids taking their PSLE.
I reckon the anticipation of the PSLE next week doesn't make me feel better. Because together with that, I know that I am also PMSsing, and with the issues that were brought up during Ezer's discussion yesterday, it sparked off quite a few thoughts in me. I can't really talk about my thoughts till I process them and I can't process them when I do not have some quiet time of contemplation and writing to verbalise what I feel. So being in this place, at this time, is good.
It doesn't help too, that people are asking about the follow up from the family sharing session. I do not feel good knowing that there are two distinct point of views, I do not feel good that I can understand where both sides are coming from. I do not feel good that I do not have a clear answer at the moment how to best handle the situation. I feel like I am standing in between, and stretched.
If I don't know better, it feels like I am hard pressed at every side. At times like this , I thank God for His promises, that the bible says in 2 Corinthians 4: 8 - 9 that "We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed." Thank God for His word.
ahah! That's one of the reasons why memorising verses are important. :) People of God, we must pray. Pray for the CG, pray for direction, pray for one another, and pray for our own walk to be in existence, that we may hear and know what is God's way.
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John 13: 35
Just a week ago, I heard from a friend about “friendship politics” in a small group made up of women. Then I thought about PLUSH and how the group, made up of many different individuals, unique in their different ways, can come together as a group to worship, study about God, love and serve one another. Even though there may be disagreements at times, and one getting frustrated with another, there is still this element of love, sometimes a deliberate kind of love. My heart is warmed whenever I think about the gals in PLUSH, and I pray that this culture of loving and caring will continue.
I believe that God is doing a different work in everyone of us. We are all created differently, and it is really God's love working in us that would give us the strength to love one another, bringing about a unity in the body of Christ. Jesus also says in John 13:34-35: A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” I guess that is the difference that we should see between a christian fellowship group and a social group gathering, that from the way we love one another, all the world will know that we are his disciples.
My heart is burdened. I really pray for the wisdom to know how to handle group situations that I have been placed in the most beneficial way possible. I need the wisdom and discernment from above, because God's way is much better than what I perceive is the best way.
.
I believe that God is doing a different work in everyone of us. We are all created differently, and it is really God's love working in us that would give us the strength to love one another, bringing about a unity in the body of Christ. Jesus also says in John 13:34-35: A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” I guess that is the difference that we should see between a christian fellowship group and a social group gathering, that from the way we love one another, all the world will know that we are his disciples.
My heart is burdened. I really pray for the wisdom to know how to handle group situations that I have been placed in the most beneficial way possible. I need the wisdom and discernment from above, because God's way is much better than what I perceive is the best way.
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Monday, September 22, 2008
reading of the day
Psalm 66:8-12
Bless our God, O peoples;
let the sound of his praise be heard,
who has kept our soul among the living
and has not let our feet slip.
For you, O God, have tested us;
you have tried us as silver is tried.
You brought us into the net;
you laid a crushing burden on our backs;
you let men ride over our heads;
we went through fire and through water;
yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance.
.
Bless our God, O peoples;
let the sound of his praise be heard,
who has kept our soul among the living
and has not let our feet slip.
For you, O God, have tested us;
you have tried us as silver is tried.
You brought us into the net;
you laid a crushing burden on our backs;
you let men ride over our heads;
we went through fire and through water;
yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance.
.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
I am touched by His love once again
You Are Holy
You are Holy Holy
Lord there is none like you
You are holy, holy
Glory to you alone
I sing your praises forever
Deeper in love with you
Here is your courts
Where I'm close to your throne
I found where I belong
It is one of those rare moments where I really feel ministered when I am on the keys. I can barely sing along when I play songs on the piano, let alone worship. Most of the time, my concentration is on getting the notes right.
Today, God got a message across while letting me get this song right. A lot of times, when I sing a song about God being holy, I will feel either uneasy or guilty that I won't be able to worship at that moment in time. I realise it is all about God being holy, not about me being holy.
This song represents a message that God is speaking to me. He wants to tell me that He is holy and perfect and that I am imperfect, I am unholy, but God doesn't want me to be uneasy or guilty and far from Him. He wants me to come close to His throne where He is, to worship Him. He wants me to recognise that He is worthy to be worshipped because He is Holy, and He is perfect. He wants me to know that it is what He has done, not what I have done that gives me the right to stand in His presence. Not only that, He loves me regardless of whether I can meet up to his perfect standard or not, because in sending Jesus to die on the cross for all my sins and transgression, I can come to that place before Him and worship Him regardless of my heart condition. He wants me to realise that in His absolute perfection, I fall so far from His glory. In my wretchedness, that is where I can see how much I have been forgiven and how much I am loved.
Ain't He wonderful? Who is there like Him?
.
You are Holy Holy
Lord there is none like you
You are holy, holy
Glory to you alone
I sing your praises forever
Deeper in love with you
Here is your courts
Where I'm close to your throne
I found where I belong
It is one of those rare moments where I really feel ministered when I am on the keys. I can barely sing along when I play songs on the piano, let alone worship. Most of the time, my concentration is on getting the notes right.
Today, God got a message across while letting me get this song right. A lot of times, when I sing a song about God being holy, I will feel either uneasy or guilty that I won't be able to worship at that moment in time. I realise it is all about God being holy, not about me being holy.
This song represents a message that God is speaking to me. He wants to tell me that He is holy and perfect and that I am imperfect, I am unholy, but God doesn't want me to be uneasy or guilty and far from Him. He wants me to come close to His throne where He is, to worship Him. He wants me to recognise that He is worthy to be worshipped because He is Holy, and He is perfect. He wants me to know that it is what He has done, not what I have done that gives me the right to stand in His presence. Not only that, He loves me regardless of whether I can meet up to his perfect standard or not, because in sending Jesus to die on the cross for all my sins and transgression, I can come to that place before Him and worship Him regardless of my heart condition. He wants me to realise that in His absolute perfection, I fall so far from His glory. In my wretchedness, that is where I can see how much I have been forgiven and how much I am loved.
Ain't He wonderful? Who is there like Him?
.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
I had wanted to spend a quiet Saturday being quiet. But duty called. Okay. Not duty.
My first ex gf/ ex best friend called me on Thursday asking if I was free to meet up with her and her brother. Her brother just came back to Singapore for a short holiday before returning to UK on Sunday. Of course I had to, especially when I have seen him grow from 14 to 20. His 22nd birthday was just two days ago. We had a great stuff stuffing ourselves with the buffet at Merchant Court. And I had 2 bowls of durian puree! :)
Then I met up with a dear friend very close to my heart JJ. I realised that in the past year that I have known her, I had never met up with her one on one face to face. Usually, I will just chat with her online and have her join the group gatherings. It was a very good time of sharing. We extended our meeting from coffee @ Coffee Club to shopping in town to dinner at this Thai place. Great day.
I am currently chatting with this gal from fridae who added me to her msn. Her gf hit her, and her first was worse, cheated behind her back and hit her. How come? Sigh. A ministry opportunity.
Better talk to her now. Laterz.
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My first ex gf/ ex best friend called me on Thursday asking if I was free to meet up with her and her brother. Her brother just came back to Singapore for a short holiday before returning to UK on Sunday. Of course I had to, especially when I have seen him grow from 14 to 20. His 22nd birthday was just two days ago. We had a great stuff stuffing ourselves with the buffet at Merchant Court. And I had 2 bowls of durian puree! :)
Then I met up with a dear friend very close to my heart JJ. I realised that in the past year that I have known her, I had never met up with her one on one face to face. Usually, I will just chat with her online and have her join the group gatherings. It was a very good time of sharing. We extended our meeting from coffee @ Coffee Club to shopping in town to dinner at this Thai place. Great day.
I am currently chatting with this gal from fridae who added me to her msn. Her gf hit her, and her first was worse, cheated behind her back and hit her. How come? Sigh. A ministry opportunity.
Better talk to her now. Laterz.
.
Blackberry
And then the girls met at blackberry to celebrate the end of my IDT exam, all 8 of us, 2 new friends. It was really fun, I laughed a lot, conversations we otherwise would not be having in CG, all mostly because of M. Topics like what undergarments we like to wear and what we prefer our partners to wear, whether we would do a threesome etc. We also had a mini- arm wrestling session, all of us. Am glad my right arm is still okay and not injured.
I started with the usual lychee martini then tried the tequila margarita. Decided that it tasted awful and passed it to J to finish it up for me. Went for 2 shots of sourz apple (introduced by a dear friend @ PLAY the other time). I didn't know that it has an alcohol content of 15%! I finished the drinks by midnight and managed to be clear-minded and alert enough to drive back at 3a.m. S suggested that we should take turns driving in future and since she has a race in Nov, she offered to drive till then. Sounds good to me.It was so fun. We should do that again soon, ladies. :)
Now the whole group except for the 2 is from FCC, so I won't be "that fcc person" who stayed on till 3a.m . *beams*. And I am glad to have clean fun with my spiritual family, but I don't quite understand S when she says she 's not like that on CG days. Please explain. :P
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I started with the usual lychee martini then tried the tequila margarita. Decided that it tasted awful and passed it to J to finish it up for me. Went for 2 shots of sourz apple (introduced by a dear friend @ PLAY the other time). I didn't know that it has an alcohol content of 15%! I finished the drinks by midnight and managed to be clear-minded and alert enough to drive back at 3a.m. S suggested that we should take turns driving in future and since she has a race in Nov, she offered to drive till then. Sounds good to me.It was so fun. We should do that again soon, ladies. :)
Now the whole group except for the 2 is from FCC, so I won't be "that fcc person" who stayed on till 3a.m . *beams*. And I am glad to have clean fun with my spiritual family, but I don't quite understand S when she says she 's not like that on CG days. Please explain. :P
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one life - consecration precedes commissioning
it has been quite a week, but it ended quite well.
Yesterday was the last session where the DG met as a group. After the "much awaited" test, the final one for the whole course (Phew!), we headed to BPJ Plaza Macs to have a proper closure as we will be moving back to the heterogenous CG mode according to our life stations (i.e some matchmaking intention for the singles group, I am sure). 3 of us got a bit emotional and teared while sharing because over the 2 years, we have grown to be quite attached to one another, 2 married mothers with kids, 1 newlywed, one about to get married and 4 singles. It was a heartfelt moment as we reflected on the year plus we have been together.
I learnt something through my DGL once again. I can't thank God enough for her journey she had shared and the life she has been living that truly shows how God has been working in her and through her. While we thanked her for leading us these 2 years, she told us that being a leader doesn't mean that they must all adequate and strong. She told us how she comes to God with trembling everytime with doubts in her head about how to best lead the group, but how God has always pulled through for her. She told us that we need merely to have the heart to die daily that God will use what little we have to honour Him and glorify Him, because ultimately, it is not about us, but about Him. She said that only when we feel inadequate, then we truly know how to lean on His grace, and how He will be able to work powerfully in us. I felt that God is speaking to me through her as I recalled the conversation in the car with J the other night.
IDT started with me being uncomfortable about the sharing session where we have to be transparent and authentic to some degree about our lives, but at the end of it all, that is the part I appreciate most, because through these ladies, I learnt a lot about God. I learnt how to approach God in different aspects of my life I have yet to experience and I learnt how to put God in the equation of life. I pray that as these ladies are sent forth to their respective CGs, that they will continue to bless the people around them.
.
Yesterday was the last session where the DG met as a group. After the "much awaited" test, the final one for the whole course (Phew!), we headed to BPJ Plaza Macs to have a proper closure as we will be moving back to the heterogenous CG mode according to our life stations (i.e some matchmaking intention for the singles group, I am sure). 3 of us got a bit emotional and teared while sharing because over the 2 years, we have grown to be quite attached to one another, 2 married mothers with kids, 1 newlywed, one about to get married and 4 singles. It was a heartfelt moment as we reflected on the year plus we have been together.
I learnt something through my DGL once again. I can't thank God enough for her journey she had shared and the life she has been living that truly shows how God has been working in her and through her. While we thanked her for leading us these 2 years, she told us that being a leader doesn't mean that they must all adequate and strong. She told us how she comes to God with trembling everytime with doubts in her head about how to best lead the group, but how God has always pulled through for her. She told us that we need merely to have the heart to die daily that God will use what little we have to honour Him and glorify Him, because ultimately, it is not about us, but about Him. She said that only when we feel inadequate, then we truly know how to lean on His grace, and how He will be able to work powerfully in us. I felt that God is speaking to me through her as I recalled the conversation in the car with J the other night.
IDT started with me being uncomfortable about the sharing session where we have to be transparent and authentic to some degree about our lives, but at the end of it all, that is the part I appreciate most, because through these ladies, I learnt a lot about God. I learnt how to approach God in different aspects of my life I have yet to experience and I learnt how to put God in the equation of life. I pray that as these ladies are sent forth to their respective CGs, that they will continue to bless the people around them.
.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
contemplative mood
I am sniffing and sneezing away. I cancelled my tuition session partly because I am sick, but mostly to study for IDT test tomorrow. Thanks to friends who helped me along, I think I am 75% ready.
I keep thinking about this thing I must write about my DGL. She is 41 this year and has been married for about 15 years now. Both her husband and her counsel couples before they get married. I am always interested in what she shares. According to her, the common issues that come up during marriage have mostly got to do with finances and the in-laws. That is interesting enough. However, I am always more interested to hear her share about her marriage with her husband.
She said that when they both started dating, they were so different they were at loggerheads quite often. The only 2 things that were common between both of them is their love for Christ and their stubborn natures. In their first year of marriage, they nearly killed each other (I think not literally) while learning to live with each other under the same roof.
What is really sweet is when she shares about how enriched both their lives are now through all those times. In her time as a mentor, she also follows up new believers. She shared with us her experience on how she was put in a situation where she had to follow up this married man who just became a christian. In the end, it didn't happen. She told us that for the sake of guarding her heart and her marriage, she would never follow up a man (single or married) alone.
I think it's just lovely how she guards her marriage that much even though I thought it was a rather extreme action to take. How often we take things like that for granted and put ourselves in situations where there might be temptations. One friend once told me, if there is a temptation to stray, then something is wrong in the first place. I agree with that, but it doesn't hurt not to find out if there are any temptations in the first place if you really love your partner, right?
A good sense of belief system will help prevent that. Discipline and determination, when put to use, makes a person stronger, and better.
Time to study again. Laterz.
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Wednesday, September 17, 2008
from studying for IDT test
wanted to blog this after IDT that night but forgotten about it.
5 minutes ago, while I was studying for my test, I came across it again. The 4 fundamental steps to effective mentoring is to
1) Discover the Truth
2) Apply the Truth
3) Reap the benefits
4) Pass it on
PAstor was sharing about how as leaders, especially for young leaders, they should focus on talking their walk rather than walking their talk. What he basically means is that instead of preaching what is and what is not, what to do and what not to do, they should preach from their lives, discover the truth, apply the truth, reap the benefits and then pass it on.
It reminded me about how though I am so excited to glean new insights and revelations from God through His word, through worshipping Him, through time with Him, and how far I fall short of applying the truth and reaping the benefits of it. For me, half of the time, my process is: obtain insights and revelations, and pass it on. I skipped the most important parts of applying the truth and reaping the benefits, so I could make the learning experience more real for the people who needs to walk the same path as I do. That basically means my rate of transformation from within is not quite efficient as it would be if I had been obedient and had gone through those hard times.
I want to be transformed. My heart, my actions, my thoughts, my words, may all these be used.
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Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Make her yours too
Met YM. Good catch up plus she tested me on the 5 Psalms while signing to them. So cute. Prayed quite a bit together too.
supposedly CG dayChanged to a good dinner @ Crystal Jade plus coffee at TCC.
9 peeps in total
Saw mainstream churchmate on way to Crystal Jade. Good that my companion looks straight. Closeted. Sigh.
Saw mainstream churchmate walking into Crystal Jade too. Nearly fainted. Peeped at who she was meeting, and nearly fainted again. My DG member, the full time CC staff.
Good we had that corner.
TCC: One of them shared her coming out journey with us. Coming out to her mentor in church and ex CGL. So brave.
I have been thinking about sharing with my DG members too. One by one of course.
Scared about the repercussions.
Crossroads right now about my ministry. To serve in Covenant or PLUSH.
The moment I typed the above, I thought. It feels wrong to say: Choose between Covenant or PLUSH.
How come not Covenant or FCC?
Because FCC doesn't resonate with my heart.
It feels at home yes, but I can't place my finger to why I don't make my MRT stop @ FCC.
Maybe it's not time?
Pray. God will usually reveal.
Talked to J about PLUSH on way back. Prayed. Prayed. Prayed. When we work, we work, when we pray, God works.
Being terribly ministered by this song by New Creation Church. Can't find the video for it. Just got to make do with the lyrics
Only You - NCC
Jesus, You have won me with your love
Now my heart belongs to you
You're my Saviour, my King
With You I have everything
In my life there's only you
Only you , you die to set me free
Now I'm yours for all eternity
Only you, can love me like you do
My desire, my life, only you.
Jesus, when I look into your eyes
I know everything will be all right
Here in your embrace
I 'm humbled by your grace
With my life I worship you
Only you, you die to set me free
Now I'm yours for all eternity
Only you, can love me like you do
My desire, my life, only you.
I must learn how to play this on piano. It's a piano piece. Then teach PLUSHies the song.
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Sunday, September 14, 2008
I thank God for angels!
After a dear friend read my frustrated entry, she sent me a link to bible gateway to 1 King 19. This is the commentary of what the chapter reads.
Jezebel sent Elijah a threatening message. Carnal hearts are hardened and enraged against God, by that which should convince and conquer them. Great faith is not always alike strong. He might be serviceable to Israel at this time, and had all reason to depend upon God's protection, while doing God's work; yet he flees. His was not the deliberate desire of grace, as Paul's, to depart and be with Christ. God thus left Elijah to himself, to show that when he was bold and strong, it was in the Lord, and the power of his might; but of himself he was no better than his fathers. God knows what he designs us for, though we do not, what services, what trials, and he will take care that we are furnished with grace sufficient.
The question God put, What doest thou here, Elijah? is a reproof. It concerns us often to ask whether we are in our place, and in the way of our duty. Am I where I should be? whither God calls me, where my business lies, and where I may be useful? He complained of the people, and their obstinacy in sin; I only am left. Despair of success hinders many a good enterprise. Did Elijah come hither to meet with God? he shall find that God will meet him. The wind, and earthquake, and fire, did not make him cover his face, but the still voice did. Gracious souls are more affected by the tender mercies of the Lord, than by his terrors. The mild voice of Him who speaks from the cross, or the mercy-seat, is accompanied with peculiar power in taking possession of the heart.
God repeated the question, What doest thou here? Then he complained of his discouragement; and whither should God's prophets go with their complaints of that kind, but to their Master? The Lord gave him an answer. He declares that the wicked house of Ahab shall be rooted out, that the people of Israel shall be punished for their sins; and he shows that Elijah was not left alone as he had supposed, and also that a helper should at once be raised up for him. Thus all his complaints are answered and provided for. God's faithful ones are often his hidden ones, and the visible church is scarcely to be seen: the wheat is lost in chaff, and the gold in dross, till the sifting, refining, separating day comes. The Lord knows them that are his, though we do not; he sees in secret. When we come to heaven we shall miss many whom we thought to have met there; we shall meet many whom we little thought to have met there. God's love often proves larger than man's charity, and far more extended.
Elijah found Elisha by Divine direction, not in the schools of the prophets, but in the field; not reading, or praying, or sacrificing, but ploughing. Idleness is no man's honour, nor is husbandry any man's disgrace. An honest calling in the world, does not put us out of the way of our heavenly calling, any more than it did Elisha. His heart was touched by the Holy Spirit, and he was ready to leave all to attend Elijah. It is in a day of power that Christ's subjects are made willing; nor would any come to Christ unless they were thus drawn. It was a discouraging time for prophets to set out in. A man that had consulted with flesh and blood, would not be fond of Elijah's mantle; yet Elisha cheerfully leaves all to accompany him. When the Saviour said to one and to another, Follow me, the dearest friends and most profitable occupations were cheerfully left, and the most arduous duties done from love to his name. May we, in like manner, feel the energy of his grace working in us mightily, and by unreserved submission at once, may we make our calling and election sure.
What I have learnt:
1) I need to be resilient in spite of what I am feeling. His grace is more than enough than all my efforts put together. I was disappointed because I was reliant on my own effort to make things work.
2) Know my mission in life, and take the deliberate effort to place myself where I should be to live out that mission.
3) All my complaints and questions will be answered in time to come. I only need to wait.
4) Pray that lives will be touched by the Holy Spirit, only then hearts can be changed. God is the only one who can draw people to Him and His purposes.
.
Jezebel sent Elijah a threatening message. Carnal hearts are hardened and enraged against God, by that which should convince and conquer them. Great faith is not always alike strong. He might be serviceable to Israel at this time, and had all reason to depend upon God's protection, while doing God's work; yet he flees. His was not the deliberate desire of grace, as Paul's, to depart and be with Christ. God thus left Elijah to himself, to show that when he was bold and strong, it was in the Lord, and the power of his might; but of himself he was no better than his fathers. God knows what he designs us for, though we do not, what services, what trials, and he will take care that we are furnished with grace sufficient.
The question God put, What doest thou here, Elijah? is a reproof. It concerns us often to ask whether we are in our place, and in the way of our duty. Am I where I should be? whither God calls me, where my business lies, and where I may be useful? He complained of the people, and their obstinacy in sin; I only am left. Despair of success hinders many a good enterprise. Did Elijah come hither to meet with God? he shall find that God will meet him. The wind, and earthquake, and fire, did not make him cover his face, but the still voice did. Gracious souls are more affected by the tender mercies of the Lord, than by his terrors. The mild voice of Him who speaks from the cross, or the mercy-seat, is accompanied with peculiar power in taking possession of the heart.
God repeated the question, What doest thou here? Then he complained of his discouragement; and whither should God's prophets go with their complaints of that kind, but to their Master? The Lord gave him an answer. He declares that the wicked house of Ahab shall be rooted out, that the people of Israel shall be punished for their sins; and he shows that Elijah was not left alone as he had supposed, and also that a helper should at once be raised up for him. Thus all his complaints are answered and provided for. God's faithful ones are often his hidden ones, and the visible church is scarcely to be seen: the wheat is lost in chaff, and the gold in dross, till the sifting, refining, separating day comes. The Lord knows them that are his, though we do not; he sees in secret. When we come to heaven we shall miss many whom we thought to have met there; we shall meet many whom we little thought to have met there. God's love often proves larger than man's charity, and far more extended.
Elijah found Elisha by Divine direction, not in the schools of the prophets, but in the field; not reading, or praying, or sacrificing, but ploughing. Idleness is no man's honour, nor is husbandry any man's disgrace. An honest calling in the world, does not put us out of the way of our heavenly calling, any more than it did Elisha. His heart was touched by the Holy Spirit, and he was ready to leave all to attend Elijah. It is in a day of power that Christ's subjects are made willing; nor would any come to Christ unless they were thus drawn. It was a discouraging time for prophets to set out in. A man that had consulted with flesh and blood, would not be fond of Elijah's mantle; yet Elisha cheerfully leaves all to accompany him. When the Saviour said to one and to another, Follow me, the dearest friends and most profitable occupations were cheerfully left, and the most arduous duties done from love to his name. May we, in like manner, feel the energy of his grace working in us mightily, and by unreserved submission at once, may we make our calling and election sure.
What I have learnt:
1) I need to be resilient in spite of what I am feeling. His grace is more than enough than all my efforts put together. I was disappointed because I was reliant on my own effort to make things work.
2) Know my mission in life, and take the deliberate effort to place myself where I should be to live out that mission.
3) All my complaints and questions will be answered in time to come. I only need to wait.
4) Pray that lives will be touched by the Holy Spirit, only then hearts can be changed. God is the only one who can draw people to Him and His purposes.
.
The touch from Heaven after the rain
It is really all about Him.
short 30secs of the song:
http://www.imeem.com/people/Jj13kf/music/7R5HgQ9U/hillsong_australia_it_is_you/
It is You - Hillsong
Lamp unto my feet
Light unto my path
It is You
Jesus, It is You
This treasure that I hold
More than finest gold
It is You
Jesus, It is You
With all my heart
With all my soul
I live to worship You
And praise forevermore
Praise forevermore
Lord everyday
I need You more
On wings of Heaven I will soar
With You
You take my brokenness
And call me to yourself
There You stand,
Healing in Your hand
.
short 30secs of the song:
http://www.imeem.com/people/Jj13kf/music/7R5HgQ9U/hillsong_australia_it_is_you/
It is You - Hillsong
Lamp unto my feet
Light unto my path
It is You
Jesus, It is You
This treasure that I hold
More than finest gold
It is You
Jesus, It is You
With all my heart
With all my soul
I live to worship You
And praise forevermore
Praise forevermore
Lord everyday
I need You more
On wings of Heaven I will soar
With You
You take my brokenness
And call me to yourself
There You stand,
Healing in Your hand
.
I am really ranting
I just had a meeting with 2 of the CG girls to discuss CG direction, only to get information that 3 more people are moving from PLUSH because of some reason or another.
PLUSH was started one year 3 months ago. I joined PLUSH because of the need of spiritual accountability in a setting where I feel safe to be authentic and open, with the desire to grow spiritually in that setting.
Initially, I was a bit hesitant with how the group was headed because I didn’t feel ministered and I didn’t feel I was growing. I stuck on because of the very clear instruction given by God some time ago in my previous CG that we are in the CG not just to take but to give. Though I was tempted to join other groups where I thought I could grow more, I decided to stick on partly because of the friendship formed in the group, and also to see how I can best encourage those in the CG. Moreover, I know growth comes from own walk with God, and in walking with the Lord, He gives the capacity to minister to others. And I try to do just that.
PLUSH was started with the mentality that it works on a democratic ground, that everyone has the right to make decisions because there is no cell group leader. I always believe that the cell group leader is important because the CGL knows where the CG is headed based on the direction of the church/God. I went with the flow, with the understanding how PLUSH is run, trusting that the facilitators will take care of the direction.
I guess we failed to see then, that without a clear direction on how the CG should go, when new people join the CG, the dynamics of the group will naturally evolve, sometimes to meet the needs of the new people. Whilst in the situation where there is a CGL, with the core members knowing clearly where they are headed, the newcomers would gradually steer towards the same vision, and if their needs are not met, they will find another group.
However, with the way PLUSH is run, what is happening is that the new people come in, the group evolves and the core members leave, citing reasons that they are not growing and that the dynamics are different from before. WTH! And then what? We are supposed to discuss with the new members how to keep the group together? That is so ironic! I feel so sorry for PLUSH. So much for ownership of the group. It is damn frustrating! One person cited the reason that with new people in the group, it is more difficult to share. Does that mean we stop inviting people to the cellgroup? I don’t believe that’s the purpose of the CG, to keep to one another. That is too narrow a vision. Another reason cited is that because people were eating, she is not able to concentrate and so it leads to her not growing, therefore she wants to leave the group. Geez. Grow up!
Another say it's the way the facilitations are done. Then rise up and offer to do the facilitation the way you think it should be done! Arent we supposed to help one another grow? Who knows more than the other in a setting like PLUSH where there is no cell group leader?
I guess I feel a little beaten because I don’t feel called to be the facilitator in the first place. There is no sense of the God given purpose to rise up and I agreed to take on the overall facilitation only because the facilitator had a lot of other things on her plate, and the group would be disbanded without a facilitator. So to be given the responsibility to hold the group together after the original facilitators decided that PLUSH is not for them because they are not growing/are called to other ministries, make me feel lost. It makes me feel like the responsibility is conveniently mine to bear the dynamics of the group. And I guess I am upset and disappointed because I thought of PLUSH as my spiritual family. Not that we won’t see other in church, lunch after church or outings. But.. it’s just different.
God taught me a few lessons from this experience. I guess I was pegging too much of my hope and sense of belonging to the people in the group other than the purposes of God. I guess at the end of it all, the purpose of reaching out to the lost is primarily the call of God’s heart, and while I am upset (yes, I am more than a bit upset with the fluid movement of the group members), I should pick myself up and move on. Sigh. There is greater importance in keeping the group together for those who need a place for Christian fellowship and support, whether it is for one phase in their lives or others, than to be concerned if my needs are met. I guess I learn that God is really the only one who can meet my need to feel that sense of belonging.
Arghhhhhhhhhhh. Like I don’t have enough on my plate for the moment. Sometimes I feel like throwing in the towel but I guess I got to handle this in a mature fashion. Feel like screaming.
.
PLUSH was started one year 3 months ago. I joined PLUSH because of the need of spiritual accountability in a setting where I feel safe to be authentic and open, with the desire to grow spiritually in that setting.
Initially, I was a bit hesitant with how the group was headed because I didn’t feel ministered and I didn’t feel I was growing. I stuck on because of the very clear instruction given by God some time ago in my previous CG that we are in the CG not just to take but to give. Though I was tempted to join other groups where I thought I could grow more, I decided to stick on partly because of the friendship formed in the group, and also to see how I can best encourage those in the CG. Moreover, I know growth comes from own walk with God, and in walking with the Lord, He gives the capacity to minister to others. And I try to do just that.
PLUSH was started with the mentality that it works on a democratic ground, that everyone has the right to make decisions because there is no cell group leader. I always believe that the cell group leader is important because the CGL knows where the CG is headed based on the direction of the church/God. I went with the flow, with the understanding how PLUSH is run, trusting that the facilitators will take care of the direction.
I guess we failed to see then, that without a clear direction on how the CG should go, when new people join the CG, the dynamics of the group will naturally evolve, sometimes to meet the needs of the new people. Whilst in the situation where there is a CGL, with the core members knowing clearly where they are headed, the newcomers would gradually steer towards the same vision, and if their needs are not met, they will find another group.
However, with the way PLUSH is run, what is happening is that the new people come in, the group evolves and the core members leave, citing reasons that they are not growing and that the dynamics are different from before. WTH! And then what? We are supposed to discuss with the new members how to keep the group together? That is so ironic! I feel so sorry for PLUSH. So much for ownership of the group. It is damn frustrating! One person cited the reason that with new people in the group, it is more difficult to share. Does that mean we stop inviting people to the cellgroup? I don’t believe that’s the purpose of the CG, to keep to one another. That is too narrow a vision. Another reason cited is that because people were eating, she is not able to concentrate and so it leads to her not growing, therefore she wants to leave the group. Geez. Grow up!
Another say it's the way the facilitations are done. Then rise up and offer to do the facilitation the way you think it should be done! Arent we supposed to help one another grow? Who knows more than the other in a setting like PLUSH where there is no cell group leader?
I guess I feel a little beaten because I don’t feel called to be the facilitator in the first place. There is no sense of the God given purpose to rise up and I agreed to take on the overall facilitation only because the facilitator had a lot of other things on her plate, and the group would be disbanded without a facilitator. So to be given the responsibility to hold the group together after the original facilitators decided that PLUSH is not for them because they are not growing/are called to other ministries, make me feel lost. It makes me feel like the responsibility is conveniently mine to bear the dynamics of the group. And I guess I am upset and disappointed because I thought of PLUSH as my spiritual family. Not that we won’t see other in church, lunch after church or outings. But.. it’s just different.
God taught me a few lessons from this experience. I guess I was pegging too much of my hope and sense of belonging to the people in the group other than the purposes of God. I guess at the end of it all, the purpose of reaching out to the lost is primarily the call of God’s heart, and while I am upset (yes, I am more than a bit upset with the fluid movement of the group members), I should pick myself up and move on. Sigh. There is greater importance in keeping the group together for those who need a place for Christian fellowship and support, whether it is for one phase in their lives or others, than to be concerned if my needs are met. I guess I learn that God is really the only one who can meet my need to feel that sense of belonging.
Arghhhhhhhhhhh. Like I don’t have enough on my plate for the moment. Sometimes I feel like throwing in the towel but I guess I got to handle this in a mature fashion. Feel like screaming.
.
Friday, September 12, 2008
IDT tonight
Even in the midst of attending church, CG, IDT and even doing QT, I realised that I do not live with a grand purpose in mind. It is at the back of my mind, but putting it at the back doesn't help me make a deliberate effort to make wise decisions.
I have been too absorbed with too many things to remember that I do not exist for myself, that I am not created to just grow up, work, play, and then die. The moment Pastor mentioned mission in life, the words "building lives" came to mind. Yeh. That is my mission in life. Building lives, either that of my students, or those around me. And I am glad for the reminder.
More laterz. Shower Time!
.
I have been too absorbed with too many things to remember that I do not exist for myself, that I am not created to just grow up, work, play, and then die. The moment Pastor mentioned mission in life, the words "building lives" came to mind. Yeh. That is my mission in life. Building lives, either that of my students, or those around me. And I am glad for the reminder.
More laterz. Shower Time!
.
I feel very pampered
I really do.. I feel I am quite spoilt. I feel like throughout this week, I am like a spoilt child running to daddy saying, " Please help me through this," "Please help me through that,"
And then I actually do feel like I can overcome the week.
I am thankful the week has ended, and I have finished what I should finish by tonight.
IDT test is supposed to be next week. Phew.
There is only enough grace for today. Plan for tomorrow but don't worry about tomorrow for today has enough troubles of its own (somewhere from eccelesiates - too lazy to google). I am always amazed how wise God's words are.
TGIF!!
.
And then I actually do feel like I can overcome the week.
I am thankful the week has ended, and I have finished what I should finish by tonight.
IDT test is supposed to be next week. Phew.
There is only enough grace for today. Plan for tomorrow but don't worry about tomorrow for today has enough troubles of its own (somewhere from eccelesiates - too lazy to google). I am always amazed how wise God's words are.
TGIF!!
.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
mid week request
I truly feel stretched , very very stretched. Please pray for supernatural strength. Thanks heaps.
.
.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
mid-tues post
A friend just told me last night, in response to my previous post, that God is in the midst of my busyness. Very true. Thanks N. :)
In the midst of my busyness, I felt compelled to write about what I feel God spoke. So yep. Abandon work for a bit for now.
“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the diving nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. “
(2 Pet 1:3-4)
These are 2 verses. 5 sentences, 4 linking words, and plenty of vocabulary. But that's not the thing I want to write about what I think God has spoken to me. If you read on to the remaining 4 verses:
For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
(2 Pet 1: 5-8)
These 6 verses are part of the 120 verses I got to remember ( word perfect ) for Friday's mid-term check up. A chill went through my body thinking about it. But that can wait till later.
I used to read self-help books quite a bit, not so much for myself, but to understand people, particularly the people I was interested in then. I also enjoy studying how the human psych works, and I have always been quite impressed how certain theories are developed.
After I became a Christian, and I started to read the bible, I realized that many psychology theories come forth from the bible in its rawest form. Christians believe that the bible is God-breathed and inspired by God. That means God speaks through the words in the bible. I know some have lots to say about certain parts of the bible being inconsistent and not applicable. That can be discussed in another entry. For now, it suffices to say that my personal belief is that everything is in its truest form written at that point in time, and it's because of how humans interpret it with our finite minds that cause all the hoo-ha about whether the bible is relevant or not.
We know that God's next greatest commandment after loving Him with all of our hearts and minds and souls, is to love our neighbour as ourselves, and in part of the gospel, He emphasizes that importance by even asking us to lay our lives down for our friends. So why, in this instance, did Paul not start with supplementing our faith with love first? Why did he say, “make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love”, as if it is wise to do it in this order.
My personal rhema from this is that, well, for me, I am pretty affectionate most times, even with people I have just met, and I have learnt that my affection can go haywire without self control, (it has happened before). The thing about loving women, is that because we are such relational creatures, we get close too quickly and if we have experienced being intimate with another, there is basically nothing much except excellent self-control and a very determined spirit to keep things from happening between the two especially if both are mutually attracted to each other. So therein lies this verse, that before I even think about loving everyone, which happens quite speedily for me, that I should seriously consider the wise counsel God is giving me.
Faith – Virtue – knowledge – self-control – steadfastness – godliness – brotherly affection – love.
I really think the guideline is in this order. Maybe that's how agape love is. In its purest form. Maybe that's the friendship between Jonathon and David. People think they might be gay, being so close as they were. Maybe they got the order right. And they had loved each other with that pure love that came out of brotherly affection, which came from godliness.
I would wish to dwell more on this but because I got to work, That is all for now.
.
In the midst of my busyness, I felt compelled to write about what I feel God spoke. So yep. Abandon work for a bit for now.
“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the diving nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. “
(2 Pet 1:3-4)
These are 2 verses. 5 sentences, 4 linking words, and plenty of vocabulary. But that's not the thing I want to write about what I think God has spoken to me. If you read on to the remaining 4 verses:
For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
(2 Pet 1: 5-8)
These 6 verses are part of the 120 verses I got to remember ( word perfect ) for Friday's mid-term check up. A chill went through my body thinking about it. But that can wait till later.
I used to read self-help books quite a bit, not so much for myself, but to understand people, particularly the people I was interested in then. I also enjoy studying how the human psych works, and I have always been quite impressed how certain theories are developed.
After I became a Christian, and I started to read the bible, I realized that many psychology theories come forth from the bible in its rawest form. Christians believe that the bible is God-breathed and inspired by God. That means God speaks through the words in the bible. I know some have lots to say about certain parts of the bible being inconsistent and not applicable. That can be discussed in another entry. For now, it suffices to say that my personal belief is that everything is in its truest form written at that point in time, and it's because of how humans interpret it with our finite minds that cause all the hoo-ha about whether the bible is relevant or not.
We know that God's next greatest commandment after loving Him with all of our hearts and minds and souls, is to love our neighbour as ourselves, and in part of the gospel, He emphasizes that importance by even asking us to lay our lives down for our friends. So why, in this instance, did Paul not start with supplementing our faith with love first? Why did he say, “make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love”, as if it is wise to do it in this order.
My personal rhema from this is that, well, for me, I am pretty affectionate most times, even with people I have just met, and I have learnt that my affection can go haywire without self control, (it has happened before). The thing about loving women, is that because we are such relational creatures, we get close too quickly and if we have experienced being intimate with another, there is basically nothing much except excellent self-control and a very determined spirit to keep things from happening between the two especially if both are mutually attracted to each other. So therein lies this verse, that before I even think about loving everyone, which happens quite speedily for me, that I should seriously consider the wise counsel God is giving me.
Faith – Virtue – knowledge – self-control – steadfastness – godliness – brotherly affection – love.
I really think the guideline is in this order. Maybe that's how agape love is. In its purest form. Maybe that's the friendship between Jonathon and David. People think they might be gay, being so close as they were. Maybe they got the order right. And they had loved each other with that pure love that came out of brotherly affection, which came from godliness.
I would wish to dwell more on this but because I got to work, That is all for now.
.
Monday, September 8, 2008
keeping track of what I have to do
There is a lot on my plate this week, and I really do covet your prayers.
First, I have to practise playing some songs for worship at CG tomorrow.
Then I got to come up with my milestones testifying of God's faithfulness in my life so far.
THen I want to blog about my Sunday.
THen I need to study like 120 verses for the mid term check up this Friday.
THen I need to come up with a duty list for the entire staff at work for Graduation Night 2008.
That is above my weekly committment of work, tuition sessions, and more recently, piano lessons.
Phew! I quote S, "Life's good, because God is with me." Simple statement but packed with power!
.
Suddenly, a question came to mind. Where is God in my life? Where is God in your life?
.
First, I have to practise playing some songs for worship at CG tomorrow.
Then I got to come up with my milestones testifying of God's faithfulness in my life so far.
THen I want to blog about my Sunday.
THen I need to study like 120 verses for the mid term check up this Friday.
THen I need to come up with a duty list for the entire staff at work for Graduation Night 2008.
That is above my weekly committment of work, tuition sessions, and more recently, piano lessons.
Phew! I quote S, "Life's good, because God is with me." Simple statement but packed with power!
.
Suddenly, a question came to mind. Where is God in my life? Where is God in your life?
.
Biscuits & Cookies Day (Warning: trivial post)
I am supposed to entertain some people at work by blogging. So here is a trivial post for now while eating my 1st decent meal of the day.
I ate lots of rubbish today.
1 ferrero rocher choc, 3 wafer biscuits, 3 danish cookies, 1 choc chip cookie, 1/5 of a potato, 3 oreo cookies, 2 pieces cowhead milk biscuits. Yup. Everything I ate between 10a.m. to 8p.m. today.
I just finished a satisfying meal of beehoon soup with additional meatballs.
signing off at 2155.
more laterz.
.
I ate lots of rubbish today.
1 ferrero rocher choc, 3 wafer biscuits, 3 danish cookies, 1 choc chip cookie, 1/5 of a potato, 3 oreo cookies, 2 pieces cowhead milk biscuits. Yup. Everything I ate between 10a.m. to 8p.m. today.
I just finished a satisfying meal of beehoon soup with additional meatballs.
signing off at 2155.
more laterz.
.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
prayer of the day
Create in me a clean heart, O God.
and renew a right spirit within me.
Amen.
P.S: I really enjoy scratching sandfly bites. So shoik. Lucky only got 1 that I can reach. So 1 scar only. haha.
.
and renew a right spirit within me.
Amen.
P.S: I really enjoy scratching sandfly bites. So shoik. Lucky only got 1 that I can reach. So 1 scar only. haha.
.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Love Song
This song turned my life around and reminded me how fragile the love of humans is. And how much Jesus has done for us. Listen to this. It is Jesus singing His love song to each and everyone of us.
I've heard it said that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times has he broken that promise
It has never been done.
I've never climbed the highest mountain
But I walked the hill of calvary
[Chorus:]
Just to be with you, I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you, I'd give anything
I would give my life away.
I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean
Just to be with the one he loves
How may times has he broken that promise
It can never be done
I've never swam the deepest ocean
But I walked upon the raging sea
[Repeat chorus]
[Bridge]
I know that you don't understand
the fullness of My love
How I died upon the cross for your sins
And I know that you don't realize
how much that I gave you
But I promise, I would do it all again.
Just to be with you, I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay
Just to be with you, I gave everything
Yes, I gave my life away.
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times has he broken that promise
It has never been done.
I've never climbed the highest mountain
But I walked the hill of calvary
[Chorus:]
Just to be with you, I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you, I'd give anything
I would give my life away.
I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean
Just to be with the one he loves
How may times has he broken that promise
It can never be done
I've never swam the deepest ocean
But I walked upon the raging sea
[Repeat chorus]
[Bridge]
I know that you don't understand
the fullness of My love
How I died upon the cross for your sins
And I know that you don't realize
how much that I gave you
But I promise, I would do it all again.
Just to be with you, I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay
Just to be with you, I gave everything
Yes, I gave my life away.
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reliving Third Day
I used to not like christian bands that sounded too rock, like Delirious and Planetshakers. Third Day does not play noisy music but the lead singer has a rocker's kind of voice. I didn't quite take to that as well, but the melody of their songs together with the lyrics are extremely powerful. Here's one, one of my favourite.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmnZ1cexTME
Your Love Oh Lord - Third Day
Your love, oh Lord
Reaches to the heavens
Your faithfulness stretches to the sky
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains
Your justice flows like the ocean's tide
I will lift my voice
To worship You, my King
I will find my strength
In the shadow of your wings
Reaches to the heavens
Your faithfulness stretches to the sky
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains
Your justice flows like the ocean's tide
I will lift my voice
To worship You, my King
I will find my strength
In the shadow of your wings
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one thing I forgot to add. It's really nice we got the suite, because they have 2 sides of the room. One is the living room, the other is the bedroom and they even have 2 balconies. It's good because I was travelling with my sister. If not, I will prolly burst from too close proximity for 24 hours.
.
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Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Belated Sunday Post
I am so glad my sister was understanding enough to let me take the car to attend service @ FCC on Sunday despite having to be at Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal @ 1p.m..A could follow too, and I picked E and C along the way. It was nice being "home". She took the train down to Aljunied to meet me. I think that's really sweet of her. And I am definitely glad that I went to FCC this week because I have to be @ Covenant next week. A friend has stopped attending church for a while now and she doesn't mind attending Covenant, so I shall accompany her.
Worship was awesome.
2 takeaways from Clarence's message.
1) remember milestones in your life to testify about God's faithfulness in your life.
I guess I could tell of a few milestones in my life as a christian where I can clearly see God working, but I had not put down everything on paper. And like what Clarence said, we are forgetful people and tend to forget how good God has been to us. So I shall take this holidays to do just that. And give thanks for His faithfulness in my life.
2) Clarence was sharing how when he stopped expecting his dad to be someone he could look up to, then did his relationship with his dad improve.
I think it is a great revelation to Clarence at that time because that is the start of a relationship for him and his dad, though it had become more of a peer to peer kind of relationship.
I guess I have always believed that dads and mums should set themselves up as authoritative figures in the family, not the tyrant kind of take charge, but someone who could be in control, and someone who could guide and lead the way. It is sad, but I expected more so if they are christian parents. I salute churches and organisations which conduct workshops for parents to learn how to be better parents.
I know for one thing that it sure helps the teachers better. I have seen enough of disrespectful students who follow their parents' way of relating to people, and parents allowing their children to have their way, spoiling them. These are kids who turn out to be ill-mannered and rude. Distressing.
Having said that however, we do have parents who can't be everything we want them to be, or everything that society deems them to be, so we need to have the wisdom to see that and make do with the situation. Afterall, we still have our heavenly father who's a great role model. :)
.
Worship was awesome.
2 takeaways from Clarence's message.
1) remember milestones in your life to testify about God's faithfulness in your life.
I guess I could tell of a few milestones in my life as a christian where I can clearly see God working, but I had not put down everything on paper. And like what Clarence said, we are forgetful people and tend to forget how good God has been to us. So I shall take this holidays to do just that. And give thanks for His faithfulness in my life.
2) Clarence was sharing how when he stopped expecting his dad to be someone he could look up to, then did his relationship with his dad improve.
I think it is a great revelation to Clarence at that time because that is the start of a relationship for him and his dad, though it had become more of a peer to peer kind of relationship.
I guess I have always believed that dads and mums should set themselves up as authoritative figures in the family, not the tyrant kind of take charge, but someone who could be in control, and someone who could guide and lead the way. It is sad, but I expected more so if they are christian parents. I salute churches and organisations which conduct workshops for parents to learn how to be better parents.
I know for one thing that it sure helps the teachers better. I have seen enough of disrespectful students who follow their parents' way of relating to people, and parents allowing their children to have their way, spoiling them. These are kids who turn out to be ill-mannered and rude. Distressing.
Having said that however, we do have parents who can't be everything we want them to be, or everything that society deems them to be, so we need to have the wisdom to see that and make do with the situation. Afterall, we still have our heavenly father who's a great role model. :)
.
Back from Bintan
So the chao da me came back last evening.
It was a great trip for me, not because of the weather, not because the room is complimentary, nor because of the lovely one bedroom suite, the ever nice smelling room, nor because of the company of my perpertually PMSsing sister (she wasn't too bad this trip), nor because of the marvellous jacuzzi and the awesome swims both in the seas and the pool, nor because of the 2 sandfly bites, 3 mozzie bites and 1 jellyfish sting. Haha..
For a long long time, I had not had this time alone to just take stock of the year and just do nothing but stare out at the horizon, listen to music, reflect, read and write. And that was pretty much what I did for the 24 hours I was there. Short trip but very fruitful. I felt like I got my soul back.
I realised that for the past 2 months, because of what had happened, and how I tried to distract myself by filling my life with many things so I don't have to think, just grasping anything in reach that gives a temporary kind of relief. With that, I failed to set aside time like that to just dwell in the sweet presence of the Lord and let Him take over. After this trip, I was reminded once again, that all I ever need is to continually dwell in his presence, to gaze upon His beauty and to inquire in his temple, for He will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble, he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock. That is indeed a glorious feeling! He opened my eyes and straightened out my thoughts and my feelings.
Now, the challenge is knowing how to continually remain in this state. More laterz.
.
It was a great trip for me, not because of the weather, not because the room is complimentary, nor because of the lovely one bedroom suite, the ever nice smelling room, nor because of the company of my perpertually PMSsing sister (she wasn't too bad this trip), nor because of the marvellous jacuzzi and the awesome swims both in the seas and the pool, nor because of the 2 sandfly bites, 3 mozzie bites and 1 jellyfish sting. Haha..
For a long long time, I had not had this time alone to just take stock of the year and just do nothing but stare out at the horizon, listen to music, reflect, read and write. And that was pretty much what I did for the 24 hours I was there. Short trip but very fruitful. I felt like I got my soul back.
I realised that for the past 2 months, because of what had happened, and how I tried to distract myself by filling my life with many things so I don't have to think, just grasping anything in reach that gives a temporary kind of relief. With that, I failed to set aside time like that to just dwell in the sweet presence of the Lord and let Him take over. After this trip, I was reminded once again, that all I ever need is to continually dwell in his presence, to gaze upon His beauty and to inquire in his temple, for He will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble, he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock. That is indeed a glorious feeling! He opened my eyes and straightened out my thoughts and my feelings.
Now, the challenge is knowing how to continually remain in this state. More laterz.
.
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