reading your blog helps me feel closer to you. Thank you for updating it, first of all! Thank you for your openness in sharing. Thank you for encouraging me with your love for God. Thank you for being so open to learning and growing. Thank you for just being you.
There are more things I like to say to you, but perhaps not in this space, nor time.
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Sunday, July 29, 2012
angsty and a lil lil bitchy
Jen asked what it was with all the giggling business on FCC women. She said she didn't know how to respond. I went back and reread the thread. I was very tempted to reply the thread with this response " I better explain that I am generally quite gigglish so people don't get the wrong idea and I get accused of flirting with others." simply cuz I know those two are also in the FCC women group. But decided against it. So bitchy. Sigh. Let go let go..
I am blaming it on PMS. :p
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I am blaming it on PMS. :p
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Spiritual gifts...
ideally, God will help us multiply our five loaves and two fishes to bless others. However, I also think that there is a danger of possessing the gifts that God has given and misusing them. For example, someone who's smart may use his/her brains to scheme. Someone who's perceptive may use that gift to manipulate a situation or a person.
The heart of the matter is the heart for God, and how much we love Jesus and desire to be the best we can be. Pure at heart.
Like what Spidey had said, with greater power comes greater responsibility.
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The heart of the matter is the heart for God, and how much we love Jesus and desire to be the best we can be. Pure at heart.
Like what Spidey had said, with greater power comes greater responsibility.
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La Cage Aux Folles..
was brilliant. An excellent production. I nearly teared once or twice. And also when the dancers (mostly men) jumped up in the air and did a full split on the ground. Ouch! But that gave me some inspiration to stretch a bit more. Just not yoga. Blah.
Splits aside, a transgender and his homosexual partner who had been together for 20 years faced a major hurdle in their relationship when their son decided that he wanted to marry a girl whose father was an anti-homosexual Ex-MP.Pressured by his son, the father decided to get his son's natural mother to pose as his mother. It's sad for the stepmom, the transgendered woman. Of course she feels less, smaller, insignificant, that "face" or any other thing for that matter, could take that status away from her.
I think society is not ready to accept transgendered people and I do think that transgendered people are very brave. They have to face bullies all their lives, and still get ostracised, sometimes even by their own partners. Yet I find that that perhaps makes it easier for them to come out. They have already faced dirty looks and bullying all their life. It's like a few steps to take to totally come out.I think it gets increasingly difficult for "straight -acting/looking" men and women to come out totally for that same reason. Imagine the number of steps they have to clear!
I reckon a relationship with one partner who's fully out and one partner who's not would be difficult. I know because I had experienced that before in my last relationship. I also wondered about my future relationship. It might be easy to hide our identities from those who are supposedly closest to us-our family for the next few months or even years. But for how long before we get tired of hiding? And what if after being together for 20 years, one partner decided to come out totally and one still wants to remain in the closet. So complex. But God says let tomorrow worry on its own. He will take care of everything. Amen.
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Splits aside, a transgender and his homosexual partner who had been together for 20 years faced a major hurdle in their relationship when their son decided that he wanted to marry a girl whose father was an anti-homosexual Ex-MP.Pressured by his son, the father decided to get his son's natural mother to pose as his mother. It's sad for the stepmom, the transgendered woman. Of course she feels less, smaller, insignificant, that "face" or any other thing for that matter, could take that status away from her.
I think society is not ready to accept transgendered people and I do think that transgendered people are very brave. They have to face bullies all their lives, and still get ostracised, sometimes even by their own partners. Yet I find that that perhaps makes it easier for them to come out. They have already faced dirty looks and bullying all their life. It's like a few steps to take to totally come out.I think it gets increasingly difficult for "straight -acting/looking" men and women to come out totally for that same reason. Imagine the number of steps they have to clear!
I reckon a relationship with one partner who's fully out and one partner who's not would be difficult. I know because I had experienced that before in my last relationship. I also wondered about my future relationship. It might be easy to hide our identities from those who are supposedly closest to us-our family for the next few months or even years. But for how long before we get tired of hiding? And what if after being together for 20 years, one partner decided to come out totally and one still wants to remain in the closet. So complex. But God says let tomorrow worry on its own. He will take care of everything. Amen.
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the truth..
is that everything changes except the love of God for you, for me.
If you are going to rely on people, they will fail you, even if they are your partners or your best buddies, or your keeper.
You need to know what God intends for your life REGARDLESS of how you feel about others, towards others. Because when you know God's plans for your life and you follow the path He intends for you, everything else will fall in place, including your friends, your partners and your best buddies. Why keep going around the desert searching for something permanent when everything changes?
Fix your eyes on Jesus and His plan for you, what He showed you right from the beginning. Do not change your direction until He tells you to, not when your feelings tell you to..
hugs.
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If you are going to rely on people, they will fail you, even if they are your partners or your best buddies, or your keeper.
You need to know what God intends for your life REGARDLESS of how you feel about others, towards others. Because when you know God's plans for your life and you follow the path He intends for you, everything else will fall in place, including your friends, your partners and your best buddies. Why keep going around the desert searching for something permanent when everything changes?
Fix your eyes on Jesus and His plan for you, what He showed you right from the beginning. Do not change your direction until He tells you to, not when your feelings tell you to..
hugs.
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Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Soulmates
A friend on FB wrote this:
I don't think a soul mate is unique. There are probably dozens of soul mates out there but because they are so few and far between, you only meet one or two in your entire life. Following this, I don't believe there is only a singular "The Right One".
I do think that a soulmate is unique to every individual. But I also believe that you might not live happily ever after with your soulmate. A soulmate, I suppose, is someone whom you can share your deepest thoughts and feelings with, who understands you even better than you understand yourself, and vice versa. A soulmate feeds your mind, your soul and spirit through modes that works for you. A soulmate is able to provide something deeper than friendship and companionship that no one else can.
Just like you might not be in a lifelong relationship with the person you love the most, you feel the most for, the one most perfect for you, so it is with being with your soulmate. It's a bonus, if you are able to find a soulmate to be in a relationship with.
Simply put, the timing must be right.
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I don't think a soul mate is unique. There are probably dozens of soul mates out there but because they are so few and far between, you only meet one or two in your entire life. Following this, I don't believe there is only a singular "The Right One".
I do think that a soulmate is unique to every individual. But I also believe that you might not live happily ever after with your soulmate. A soulmate, I suppose, is someone whom you can share your deepest thoughts and feelings with, who understands you even better than you understand yourself, and vice versa. A soulmate feeds your mind, your soul and spirit through modes that works for you. A soulmate is able to provide something deeper than friendship and companionship that no one else can.
Just like you might not be in a lifelong relationship with the person you love the most, you feel the most for, the one most perfect for you, so it is with being with your soulmate. It's a bonus, if you are able to find a soulmate to be in a relationship with.
Simply put, the timing must be right.
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The gap
I have been praying for God's direction in cell group ministry ever since I felt God's leading away from PLUSH a few months ago. Initially, I thought that the post-lush group (currently called the LUSHATES) could be a possibility.. Yet it didn't feel so.
Two weeks ago, Clarence's sermon challenged us to rise up to start something that might be missing, to fill in the gap.There and then, I thought that perhaps, my praying and search for a group has come to an end. I have always felt prayer and spirit-filled worship missing at FCC. By spirit-filled worship, I don't mean people raising their hands to praise and worship on Sunday. Similarly, by prayer, it is not the weekly prayer session, nor the soliciting of prayers from fellow mates nor the occasional prayer meeting.
I was seeking like-minded, like-spirited ones who praise and worship God, no frills, no fuss, to pray to Him as the spirit leads, without having to write down specifically what to pray for, or use a prayer already written out long ago. It is that submission of our lives to the hand of God upon the lives of His people and adoring Him in the splendor of His beauty and holiness in awe and gratitude, letting the holy spirit lead in thanksgiving and and petition to our Father in heaven. I have been seeking fellow believers to worship God fully, and totally, and let the spirit of God take over in prayer.
LUSHATES is a special group. In a way, it is like an ideal cell group for me. Because of the size of the group and the common starting point of every member in the group, we are able to be able to kept updated on everyone's lives through whatsapp chat. It's wonderful because everyone is not merely sharing about their lives, they are also sharing what God has taught them, sharing prayer requests. It's this daily communication that keeps the group close and keep everyone growing in accountability. It's really like... family..
And.. It's very difficult and very painful to leave PLUSH. It's not just the people who makes up the group, because currently, half the group is made up of new people who seem to be set to stay. It's just God doing that special work in PLUSH that even in the absence and irregular attendance of the older members, PLUSH is still so very special and close to my heart. Perhaps the move is just temporal. I pray so, but let your will be done.
.
Two weeks ago, Clarence's sermon challenged us to rise up to start something that might be missing, to fill in the gap.There and then, I thought that perhaps, my praying and search for a group has come to an end. I have always felt prayer and spirit-filled worship missing at FCC. By spirit-filled worship, I don't mean people raising their hands to praise and worship on Sunday. Similarly, by prayer, it is not the weekly prayer session, nor the soliciting of prayers from fellow mates nor the occasional prayer meeting.
I was seeking like-minded, like-spirited ones who praise and worship God, no frills, no fuss, to pray to Him as the spirit leads, without having to write down specifically what to pray for, or use a prayer already written out long ago. It is that submission of our lives to the hand of God upon the lives of His people and adoring Him in the splendor of His beauty and holiness in awe and gratitude, letting the holy spirit lead in thanksgiving and and petition to our Father in heaven. I have been seeking fellow believers to worship God fully, and totally, and let the spirit of God take over in prayer.
LUSHATES is a special group. In a way, it is like an ideal cell group for me. Because of the size of the group and the common starting point of every member in the group, we are able to be able to kept updated on everyone's lives through whatsapp chat. It's wonderful because everyone is not merely sharing about their lives, they are also sharing what God has taught them, sharing prayer requests. It's this daily communication that keeps the group close and keep everyone growing in accountability. It's really like... family..
And.. It's very difficult and very painful to leave PLUSH. It's not just the people who makes up the group, because currently, half the group is made up of new people who seem to be set to stay. It's just God doing that special work in PLUSH that even in the absence and irregular attendance of the older members, PLUSH is still so very special and close to my heart. Perhaps the move is just temporal. I pray so, but let your will be done.
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Sunday, July 22, 2012
so..
the past year had been a year of not being welcoming to new peeps and not following up with them. Honestly, it feels horrible and it's not because it has anything to do with me. But I don't think God intends for us to live like that. I think being warm, loving and affectionate to people is what God wants, but since people in our circle will misunderstand, then what to do? Pull back lor. I won't want to be accused again of being overfriendly. Hospitality was ranked my top spiritual gift after taking the test. WHat will God think?
Yet in the past year of not doing anything much, I have someone who hinted that I am her type. I don't like being presumptous. I could see it as it is and just take it that she's just giving an example of the type of woman she's attracted to, but to avoid any unneccessary problems in future, I had to tell her that I hope I don't give her the wrong impression about my friendliness. And blah blah blah. And she got it. sigh sigh sigh.
Having a hospitality ministry is good. You get to wear name tags to say that you are a welcoming team member so peeps do no misunderstand. Onward christian soldiers!
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Yet in the past year of not doing anything much, I have someone who hinted that I am her type. I don't like being presumptous. I could see it as it is and just take it that she's just giving an example of the type of woman she's attracted to, but to avoid any unneccessary problems in future, I had to tell her that I hope I don't give her the wrong impression about my friendliness. And blah blah blah. And she got it. sigh sigh sigh.
Having a hospitality ministry is good. You get to wear name tags to say that you are a welcoming team member so peeps do no misunderstand. Onward christian soldiers!
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I lived, I learnt. I learnt, then I lived again
Why I have not been blogging?
I have been a full-time teacher in the day, full -time house designer after work, and full-time driver in the evening. Hur hur. Tis is my season in life. Guess what? God is around in all seasons. Heng ah.
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I have been a full-time teacher in the day, full -time house designer after work, and full-time driver in the evening. Hur hur. Tis is my season in life. Guess what? God is around in all seasons. Heng ah.
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Monday, July 9, 2012
difference between seeing and perceiving
Most of the time, most people think perceiving is better than seeing, for perceiving needs depth and wisdom, while seeing is perceived to be looking from the surface.
In Acts 21, when Paul was heading back to Jerusalam, many believers prophesized that Paul must not go to Jerusalam because they could see Paul being turned over to the Gentiles by the Jewish leaders, and THEY did not want that to happen to him. God may have given them a vision of what to see, but it requires all of God's wisdom to interpret what God's plan for Paul was.
Maybe that's why the bible says that some people are given the gifts to prophesy, some are given the gifts of tongues, yet some are given the gifts of interpretation, which I often read as the interpretation of tongues. Perhaps the gift of interpretation is needed for visions, dreams and prophecies too. Not all plans with negative results are bad plans. they could be part of God's plan.
What we see with our human eyes will never be able to comprehend God's wisdom and His ways. But God's ultimate aim is for us to glorify Him; what glorifies Him, pleases Him. May we be blessed with spiritual eyes and hearts to perceive what we see.
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In Acts 21, when Paul was heading back to Jerusalam, many believers prophesized that Paul must not go to Jerusalam because they could see Paul being turned over to the Gentiles by the Jewish leaders, and THEY did not want that to happen to him. God may have given them a vision of what to see, but it requires all of God's wisdom to interpret what God's plan for Paul was.
Maybe that's why the bible says that some people are given the gifts to prophesy, some are given the gifts of tongues, yet some are given the gifts of interpretation, which I often read as the interpretation of tongues. Perhaps the gift of interpretation is needed for visions, dreams and prophecies too. Not all plans with negative results are bad plans. they could be part of God's plan.
What we see with our human eyes will never be able to comprehend God's wisdom and His ways. But God's ultimate aim is for us to glorify Him; what glorifies Him, pleases Him. May we be blessed with spiritual eyes and hearts to perceive what we see.
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:)
I posted a generic version on facebook. And she replied:
Things I want to do with you...
Go for long walks
Sing stupid songs
Watch movies under a warm blanket
Foot massages
Travel to new places with you
Travel to old places with you
Drink bubble milk tea
Express pedicures
Eat sting ray at the beach
Drink fresh orange juice
Order mcdonalds breakfast from bed with you
Laze in bed on a Saturday morning while holding you
Read the newspapers
Go to the gym
Watch you mark
Make you coffee
Hold your hand while driving
Smell you
And kiss you
And....
***********************************************************************************
Sweetness is the way to a gal's soul. :)
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Things I want to do with you...
Go for long walks
Sing stupid songs
Watch movies under a warm blanket
Foot massages
Travel to new places with you
Travel to old places with you
Drink bubble milk tea
Express pedicures
Eat sting ray at the beach
Drink fresh orange juice
Order mcdonalds breakfast from bed with you
Laze in bed on a Saturday morning while holding you
Read the newspapers
Go to the gym
Watch you mark
Make you coffee
Hold your hand while driving
Smell you
And kiss you
And....
***********************************************************************************
Sweetness is the way to a gal's soul. :)
.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
None as wonderful as jesus
One interesting thing about lushates is how quickly they bond through the lush sessions, actually more so through the group chat.
The group is made up primarily of 2 groups of people. The younger ones and the older ones (what rubbish right?). Well, the younger ones are more active on the group chat. The older ones seem to be more occupied by work and respond periodically. I admire their patience to have the phone beep incessantly, and then they respond a while later after taking their time to read the chats. I guess that's what brings people closer together. The regular communication.
We have a pretty young believer in the group, young spiritually. She's a delight to have because she is keen to learn. During bible study, though she may be lost at times, it is evident she eagerly wants to know more about God.
I can't say if I were jaded or perhaps seen too much in life. Whenever a young believer gets high and delighted in the things of the Lord, aside from encouraging them to keep growing, I try to bring in the fact (gently) that things will not be so high and happy all the time: true to my belief, two recently converted friends exhibited more weariness than that "high" I used to see.
That's the danger in putting our faith on anything or anyone other than our Lord himself. Everything and everyone will fail. Circumstances will not be positive all the time. But if we fix our eyes on Jesus, whose love for us is unfailing, who remains our rock and anchor despite of changing circumstances, we perhaps can get through the storms of life without as much hardship because we know that everything will be alright in the end (if not, it's not the end - quoting that Marigold movie. hiak hiak)
.
The group is made up primarily of 2 groups of people. The younger ones and the older ones (what rubbish right?). Well, the younger ones are more active on the group chat. The older ones seem to be more occupied by work and respond periodically. I admire their patience to have the phone beep incessantly, and then they respond a while later after taking their time to read the chats. I guess that's what brings people closer together. The regular communication.
We have a pretty young believer in the group, young spiritually. She's a delight to have because she is keen to learn. During bible study, though she may be lost at times, it is evident she eagerly wants to know more about God.
I can't say if I were jaded or perhaps seen too much in life. Whenever a young believer gets high and delighted in the things of the Lord, aside from encouraging them to keep growing, I try to bring in the fact (gently) that things will not be so high and happy all the time: true to my belief, two recently converted friends exhibited more weariness than that "high" I used to see.
That's the danger in putting our faith on anything or anyone other than our Lord himself. Everything and everyone will fail. Circumstances will not be positive all the time. But if we fix our eyes on Jesus, whose love for us is unfailing, who remains our rock and anchor despite of changing circumstances, we perhaps can get through the storms of life without as much hardship because we know that everything will be alright in the end (if not, it's not the end - quoting that Marigold movie. hiak hiak)
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Saturday, July 7, 2012
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Love is a Verb, indeed.
It’s funny how saying “I love you” comes so easy to couples.
And it’s ironic that we have not said that to each other.
Yet I can see your love for me by the look in your eyes, by the things you do for me, in the way you care for me, attend to me and give of yourself to me. I can feel your love for me, without you verbalising it. And it has been more than ten years since I have felt that loved that way. I hope you feel the same.
You are more than special and more than wonderful and I truly appreciate you.
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And it’s ironic that we have not said that to each other.
Yet I can see your love for me by the look in your eyes, by the things you do for me, in the way you care for me, attend to me and give of yourself to me. I can feel your love for me, without you verbalising it. And it has been more than ten years since I have felt that loved that way. I hope you feel the same.
You are more than special and more than wonderful and I truly appreciate you.
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