Motivation

“Motivation is a form of love. It’s a love for something but if the love lands on something wrong, then chiam lah.” That’s my lecturer for you. I don’t recall meeting someone as random as her. I thought I was bad. But she’s so entertaining and I have fun following her thoughts.


Last time, I recalled only learning two types of motivation; intrinsic and extrinsic. During lecture today, I learnt a third type of motivation, spiritual motivation.

Extrinsic motivation is the love of possessions, like money and rewards. Intrinsic motivation is the love of self. Spiritual motivation is the love for others. They are more people –centred.

What motivates us?
.

Reinforce our strengths but work on our weaknesses

I am getting much better at driving down SBV Road. The windy road was very challenging initially. I often ran over the markers in the middle and slowed down significantly at the curves.

Now, as I get more familiar with the curves, I instinctively know how to control the steering wheel so I can smoothly drive that road. I rarely hit the markers now. YAY!

Life's like that sometimes. It is exciting to live life carelessly sometimes but the risk of not being aware may have unpleasant consequences. However, it is still insufficient to just be familiar with the curves and obstacles, we need to learn how to work around them, then will it be easier to manuever around.

Quite random. Zzzz. Time to mark.
.

my dad

I feel very sad for him. Because he's still tube fed. He seems resigned to the fact that it will be a long long time before the tube gets taken off. I pray not, but it feels so too. I feel sad that he had been longing to eat western food since mid June but he's not able to. I feel sad thinking about the side effects radiation is causing him. I feel sad at the thought that perhaps he enjoys spending time at the hospital beacuse he can feel normal with the tube hanging from his nose because only the sick hangs out at the hospital. In a way, I am glad the hospital is big enough for him to take a walk around, probably the only place he feels comfortable walking at. :(

I feel sad. I pray that he will be well soon, and pray that he will be able to resume life. :( It's so sad that he has hardly enjoyed retirement that he has to go through this :(
.

plush annual retreat

2010 - Batam
2011 - KL
2012 - Kuching
2013 - Phuket?

Another blessed time with the gals. What do I value?

I value knowing everyone at a deeper level. I value the deeper connection through time together hearing one another out, worshipping God together, praying together, learning more about being grace-conscious vs sin-conscious, being reminded of the importance of QT and personal time and trust with God which empowers us. I value how God can use a young believer to lead a session which blesses so many. I value having fun together, making silly jokes, laughing together, doing a five hour canoe session together along a 11km long river.. It was indeed a blessed three days. We missed some of the oldies and all the newbies who unfortunately joined the CG too late to make it for the retreat. Next year, if everyone can make it, it will be a big group of 24. Perhaps we can rent 3 villas at Phuket. What a glorious time that will be.

Things are always not the same after every retreat. I pray that God will take hold of the deposit He has given to each and every one of us so that this trip will cause all of us to bear more fruit in our own respective ways. :)
.

The D word

I had a dream car. The Alfa 146 in white. Or red. But I knew it was too extravagant. It was nice to look and dream anyway. Then when I started test driving different cars, I coveted the Diahatsu Copen. First the red, then the yellow. I test drove both of them, I love them, yet the peace wasn’t there. It is too impractical. People tell me. I didn’t think the same. But I followed the peace (or the lack of it) nonetheless.


Then the Peugeot 107 came along. The red one. A miraculous process of discovering it and finally owning it. It literally just came along. There, my heart felt right. I was content. And now, I don’t even look twice when the Alfa 146 passes me, nor the Copen, red or yellow.

I learnt: Never act on a desire. Wait for the right one to come along. Then you will be contented with the one that you have.

Desire is borne out of

1) needing something but not having it; the yearning for something to fill the place perceived to be empty.

2) getting a glimpse of an exciting possibility, and the increasing craving as you get more exposed to it.

This sort of desire disappears after a while. Very soon, time neutralizes the adrenalin rush. Very soon, when things start to normalize, you begin to appreciate what you already have. The more gratitude and contentment you have, the faster the process of normalization happens.
.

Humility

"If you forget who you are, your ministry will be shaped by a smugness that is more about displaying how great you are, rather than how glorious is the Savior who still meets you in your weakness."

this statement from an article I have just read reminded me of a conversation I had with a fellow sister in christ some time ago. I told her that compliments sometimes don't help in my pursuit of humility. She said a very profound statement that caused some engraving to take place in the brain (a term learnt from my lecturer today in remembering and internalising information). She told me this:

"Humility doesn't come from what other people say or do to you...humility comes from having an accurate measure of who you are in light of who God is."


What a powerful reminder that was for me. I realised then how little time I have spent reflecting and dwelling on the grandeur of God and His perfect standard for me, and how far I had fallen from that perfect standard, and how much I need that grace of God given through Jesus. It reminded me how I had relied on my own strength for many things and failed to seek his will in my plans even though my plans were for His work. I was reminded that the busier we are, the more we should centre upon Jesus so he can be the captain of our ship.

That is a humbling lesson learnt.
.

the relaxation programme for the kiddos

so to help them to relieve stress and reduce the rate of crime, I came up with my own relaxation programme using what I had learnt before from yoga and centering exercises. haha. I needed time to Continue to teach so I could only use 10 minutes of curriculum time to conduct the exercise for them. I was so surprised at how tired some of them were.

I turned on some piano instrumental music, asked them to close their eyes, lay their heads on their tables, used all the " relax your muscles " talk and gave them a few minutes of silence. in THAT tone of voice. At the end of 10 minutes, I slowly woke them up. As I asked them to move to their next class, there were 11 of them, still sleeping on their table. Such precious souls they are. Sigh. I think it's a freaking bad idea for ramadan and pre - PSLE period to coincide.
.

of ambulances

Whenever I see an ambulance parked beside a hotel at a red light district, the first thought that comes to mind is this: An old man died of a heart attack during sex. :p

Horrible right?
.