As I was walking home from work today, I turned on this song, and realised how far my heart has not been in tune with the heart of God. I realised how much I had missed the depth of fellowship and intimacy with the Lord. And for once in a long while, I blocked out all the distractions in my mind and my heart and just worshipped with all of my heart and all of my soul. I felt that indescribable joy that rose from my heart once again. I felt that anointing fall, I felt that sense of awe of how He, who is so great would care for me, who is so small.
How I missed feeling that way; where I can see and feel His majesty. His glorious majesty over all the earth, over all of me; that glory that draws the lost and broken to Him. And I gave thanks for Jesus then, that through Him, I am able to be at this place, where I can dwell in His presence, where I can gaze upon His beauty, where I can feel whole and feel that nothing else matters, where I can surrender all my cares and concerns to Him.
Thank you Jesus!
AS WE WORSHIP YOU-Don Moen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxJeO2HjG6k
As we worship You, let all the world come and see
How the mercy we received from You can set them free
As we worship You, let all this joy that fills our hearts
Bring a hunger and a hope to those who strayed so far
Chorus
As we bow in adoration and stand in reverent awe
Show Your majesty and glory, let Your anointing fall
As we declare Your name Lord Jesus as the only name who saves
May the power of Your salvation fill each heart we pray
As we worship You, let all the nations hear our song
Song of Jesus and His blood that proved His love for all
As we worship You, may all the lost and broken come
May they hear Your still small voice call out their names each one
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Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Work- In - Progress but currently an ISFJ :)
On the 1 day of medical leave that I took, (doc gave me 2 days!!) , I spent 8 hours online, and counting. THank God I need to leave the house to give tuition. :) This is me, the ISFJ, but I also remind myself that we should never be defined by any personality tests, because ultimately, we are all in the process of being transformed by God into His likeness till the day we meet Him face to face. :)
The Nurturer
As an ISFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you takes things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.
ISFJs live in a world that is concrete and kind. They are truly warm and kind-hearted, and want to believe the best of people. They value harmony and cooperation, and are likely to be very sensitive to other people's feelings. People value the ISFJ for their consideration and awareness, and their ability to bring out the best in others by their firm desire to believe the best.
ISFJs have a rich inner world that is not usually obvious to observers. They constantly take in information about people and situations that is personally important to them, and store it away. This tremendous store of information is usually startlingly accurate, because the ISFJ has an exceptional memory about things that are important to their value systems. It would not be uncommon for the ISFJ to remember a particular facial expression or conversation in precise detail years after the event occured, if the situation made an impression on the ISFJ.
ISFJs have a very clear idea of the way things should be, which they strive to attain. They value security and kindness, and respect traditions and laws. They tend to believe that existing systems are there because they work. Therefore, they're not likely to buy into doing things in a new way, unless they're shown in a concrete way why its better than the established method.
ISFJs learn best by doing, rather than by reading about something in a book, or applying theory. For this reason, they are not likely to be found in fields which require a lot of conceptual analysis or theory. They value practical application. Traditional methods of higher education, which require a lot of theorizing and abstraction, are likely to be a chore for the ISFJ. The ISFJ learns a task best by being shown its practical application. Once the task is learned, and its practical importance is understood, the ISFJ will faithfully and tirelessly carry through the task to completion. The ISFJ is extremely dependable.
The ISFJ has an extremely well-developed sense of space, function, and aesthetic appeal. For that reason, they're likely to have beautifully furnished, functional homes. They make extremely good interior decorators. This special ability, combined with their sensitivity to other's feelings and desires, makes them very likely to be great gift-givers - finding the right gift which will be truly appreciated by the recipient.
More so than other types, ISFJs are extremely aware of their own internal feelings, as well as other people's feelings. They do not usually express their own feelings, keeping things inside. If they are negative feelings, they may build up inside the ISFJ until they turn into firm judgments against individuals which are difficult to unseed, once set. Many ISFJs learn to express themselves, and find outlets for their powerful emotions.
Just as the ISFJ is not likely to express their feelings, they are also not likely to let on that they know how others are feeling. However, they will speak up when they feel another individual really needs help, and in such cases they can truly help others become aware of their feelings.
The ISFJ feels a strong sense of responsibility and duty. They take their responsibilities very seriously, and can be counted on to follow through. For this reason, people naturally tend to rely on them. The ISFJ has a difficult time saying "no" when asked to do something, and may become over-burdened. In such cases, the ISFJ does not usually express their difficulties to others, because they intensely dislike conflict, and because they tend to place other people's needs over their own. The ISFJ needs to learn to identify, value, and express their own needs, if they wish to avoid becoming over-worked and taken for granted.
ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong", or "I can't do anything right".
The ISFJ is warm, generous, and dependable. They have many special gifts to offer, in their sensitivity to others, and their strong ability to keep things running smoothly. They need to remember to not be overly critical of themselves, and to give themselves some of the warmth and love which they freely dispense to others.
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The Nurturer
As an ISFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you takes things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.
ISFJs live in a world that is concrete and kind. They are truly warm and kind-hearted, and want to believe the best of people. They value harmony and cooperation, and are likely to be very sensitive to other people's feelings. People value the ISFJ for their consideration and awareness, and their ability to bring out the best in others by their firm desire to believe the best.
ISFJs have a rich inner world that is not usually obvious to observers. They constantly take in information about people and situations that is personally important to them, and store it away. This tremendous store of information is usually startlingly accurate, because the ISFJ has an exceptional memory about things that are important to their value systems. It would not be uncommon for the ISFJ to remember a particular facial expression or conversation in precise detail years after the event occured, if the situation made an impression on the ISFJ.
ISFJs have a very clear idea of the way things should be, which they strive to attain. They value security and kindness, and respect traditions and laws. They tend to believe that existing systems are there because they work. Therefore, they're not likely to buy into doing things in a new way, unless they're shown in a concrete way why its better than the established method.
ISFJs learn best by doing, rather than by reading about something in a book, or applying theory. For this reason, they are not likely to be found in fields which require a lot of conceptual analysis or theory. They value practical application. Traditional methods of higher education, which require a lot of theorizing and abstraction, are likely to be a chore for the ISFJ. The ISFJ learns a task best by being shown its practical application. Once the task is learned, and its practical importance is understood, the ISFJ will faithfully and tirelessly carry through the task to completion. The ISFJ is extremely dependable.
The ISFJ has an extremely well-developed sense of space, function, and aesthetic appeal. For that reason, they're likely to have beautifully furnished, functional homes. They make extremely good interior decorators. This special ability, combined with their sensitivity to other's feelings and desires, makes them very likely to be great gift-givers - finding the right gift which will be truly appreciated by the recipient.
More so than other types, ISFJs are extremely aware of their own internal feelings, as well as other people's feelings. They do not usually express their own feelings, keeping things inside. If they are negative feelings, they may build up inside the ISFJ until they turn into firm judgments against individuals which are difficult to unseed, once set. Many ISFJs learn to express themselves, and find outlets for their powerful emotions.
Just as the ISFJ is not likely to express their feelings, they are also not likely to let on that they know how others are feeling. However, they will speak up when they feel another individual really needs help, and in such cases they can truly help others become aware of their feelings.
The ISFJ feels a strong sense of responsibility and duty. They take their responsibilities very seriously, and can be counted on to follow through. For this reason, people naturally tend to rely on them. The ISFJ has a difficult time saying "no" when asked to do something, and may become over-burdened. In such cases, the ISFJ does not usually express their difficulties to others, because they intensely dislike conflict, and because they tend to place other people's needs over their own. The ISFJ needs to learn to identify, value, and express their own needs, if they wish to avoid becoming over-worked and taken for granted.
ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong", or "I can't do anything right".
The ISFJ is warm, generous, and dependable. They have many special gifts to offer, in their sensitivity to others, and their strong ability to keep things running smoothly. They need to remember to not be overly critical of themselves, and to give themselves some of the warmth and love which they freely dispense to others.
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Tuesday, October 28, 2008
reading for the day
Pslams 85:8-13
8 There is none like you among the gods, O Lord, nor are there any works like yours.
9 All the nations you have made shall come and worship before you, O Lord, and shall glorify your name.
10 For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God.
11 Teach me your way, O Lord,that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.
12 I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever.
13 For great is your steadfast love toward me; you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.
Amen!!!
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8 There is none like you among the gods, O Lord, nor are there any works like yours.
9 All the nations you have made shall come and worship before you, O Lord, and shall glorify your name.
10 For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God.
11 Teach me your way, O Lord,that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.
12 I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever.
13 For great is your steadfast love toward me; you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.
Amen!!!
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Monday, October 27, 2008
some random thots
i thank God for the internet, that when I am too lazy to flip open my bible, there is always the online ESV bible.
http://www.gnpcb.org/esv
So much easier to read online. Anywayz, these are random stuffs that came to mind as I continued reading the book of Psalms.
1) God is supposedly the brilliant one, who knows our needs before we verbalise them. But people still cry out to Him for their needs and demands in the bible. Maybe the ownership is on us to ask for what we need, what we want. I think though, we should ask with not the "spoilt child" attitude.
2) The bible says "no good things does he withhold from those who walk uprightly" in Psalm 84. So to paraphrase that, it means that he will give all good things to those who walk uprightly.
Sometimes when I see the phrase "all good things", I pass it off as some generic statement, where the word "ALL" is used loosely but i remember that every word that is used in the bible is significant. So maybe, the Lord did mean "ALL good things"
Having said that, that may also mean that for those who do not walk uprightly, God will withhold some good things from them. That makes sense. People who do not walk uprightly might not necessary have the wisdom and maturity to handle ALL good things, therefore God gives as He deems best, according to how much we can handle? How does that sound? So maybe, sometimes, when we pray for something, the answer is wait. Wait till you are ready to receive.
But then again, is "walking uprightly" something we do, or something that is already done? :) So many things to think about.
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http://www.gnpcb.org/esv
So much easier to read online. Anywayz, these are random stuffs that came to mind as I continued reading the book of Psalms.
1) God is supposedly the brilliant one, who knows our needs before we verbalise them. But people still cry out to Him for their needs and demands in the bible. Maybe the ownership is on us to ask for what we need, what we want. I think though, we should ask with not the "spoilt child" attitude.
2) The bible says "no good things does he withhold from those who walk uprightly" in Psalm 84. So to paraphrase that, it means that he will give all good things to those who walk uprightly.
Sometimes when I see the phrase "all good things", I pass it off as some generic statement, where the word "ALL" is used loosely but i remember that every word that is used in the bible is significant. So maybe, the Lord did mean "ALL good things"
Having said that, that may also mean that for those who do not walk uprightly, God will withhold some good things from them. That makes sense. People who do not walk uprightly might not necessary have the wisdom and maturity to handle ALL good things, therefore God gives as He deems best, according to how much we can handle? How does that sound? So maybe, sometimes, when we pray for something, the answer is wait. Wait till you are ready to receive.
But then again, is "walking uprightly" something we do, or something that is already done? :) So many things to think about.
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Sunday, October 26, 2008
God has done great things. He is still doing great things.
I was sharing with a friend yesterday about how God has a very good track record in my life, especially in the aspect of work. I usually would take a longer time to get the testimony out of my mouth, but yesterday, it came out pretty quickly and smoothly.
I was then reminded the reason why I had little problem telling that was because I had retold that quite a few times already. That brought me to this thought: Don't I have anything new to share about how God has continued to be faithful in the everyday life I am living? He's a God who is alive, and working all the time. Why do I have to keep bringing up what He had done in the past? That's important, but if that is all others are going to hear over time, the testimony grows stale and God will seem to be the God who had done great and powerful things, not the God who is a living God, who is still doing great things.
I need to center my life around Jesus again. I had been too distracted by the things that I want to do which may not necessarily be time used productively. I am not saying that I shouldn't have fun at all. But maybe, I am just having too much fun.
I am thankful for this long weekend though. I really am very very very thankful. And I like my ears and face feeling hot, thanks to a 15 minute gulp of one glass of TIGER. One glass is good. No headache.
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I was then reminded the reason why I had little problem telling that was because I had retold that quite a few times already. That brought me to this thought: Don't I have anything new to share about how God has continued to be faithful in the everyday life I am living? He's a God who is alive, and working all the time. Why do I have to keep bringing up what He had done in the past? That's important, but if that is all others are going to hear over time, the testimony grows stale and God will seem to be the God who had done great and powerful things, not the God who is a living God, who is still doing great things.
I need to center my life around Jesus again. I had been too distracted by the things that I want to do which may not necessarily be time used productively. I am not saying that I shouldn't have fun at all. But maybe, I am just having too much fun.
I am thankful for this long weekend though. I really am very very very thankful. And I like my ears and face feeling hot, thanks to a 15 minute gulp of one glass of TIGER. One glass is good. No headache.
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I learnt...
that sometimes, the sentence "Don't be sad, she's in a better place." is a very comforting statement, though it may not be the truth.
Life is so unpredictable, maybe that's why Jesus is not back yet. We still have time. I still have time. I need to learn to be less concerned about my own needs and more concerned about the needs of others.
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Life is so unpredictable, maybe that's why Jesus is not back yet. We still have time. I still have time. I need to learn to be less concerned about my own needs and more concerned about the needs of others.
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Saturday, October 25, 2008
Why there are unhealthy teams - Nancy Ortberg
Common Dysfunctions of Teams
1) Absence of Trust
2) Fear of conflict
3) Lack of commitment
4) Avoidance of Accountability
5) Inattention to Results
Now, this sounds like it applies to relationships too. I shall elaborate more when I have more inspiration. Now I am inspired to sleep. Ciaoz.
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1) Absence of Trust
2) Fear of conflict
3) Lack of commitment
4) Avoidance of Accountability
5) Inattention to Results
Now, this sounds like it applies to relationships too. I shall elaborate more when I have more inspiration. Now I am inspired to sleep. Ciaoz.
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The Principles of Empowering within the New Community
1) We can only empower others when we are empowered. - Personal leadership and personal walk with God is important.
2) We can only empower others when there is ownership of a common vision.
3) We can only empower others when there is thirst and readiness.
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2) We can only empower others when there is ownership of a common vision.
3) We can only empower others when there is thirst and readiness.
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interesting statement @ 1.27a.m.
A mediocre strategy well implemented, is better than a great strategy poorly implemented.
hmm.. does that apply to relationships as well?
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hmm.. does that apply to relationships as well?
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shocking news :(
the sister of one of my boys in class passed away suddenly this afternoon. I heard that she was having a fever and collasped in the afternoon. SHe was then sent to NUH when she passed away.
I am quite deeply affected because
1) She is in my PE class.
2) I just saw her yesterday during PE. She wasn't doing PE because she was unwell. The last time I saw her, she asked for permission to go to the toilet.
3) She looks very sweet.
4) She is very sweet.
5) She is in the best class.
6) She represents the school for Volleyball.
7) She is only 11.
She has so much going for her. Sigh. I guess I feel closer to her because she is one student that I spoke to more than others.
I am supposed to go to the wake either on Saturday or Sunday. Sigh.
Praying that her family is doing fine. Got to call my boy tomorrow. :(
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I am quite deeply affected because
1) She is in my PE class.
2) I just saw her yesterday during PE. She wasn't doing PE because she was unwell. The last time I saw her, she asked for permission to go to the toilet.
3) She looks very sweet.
4) She is very sweet.
5) She is in the best class.
6) She represents the school for Volleyball.
7) She is only 11.
She has so much going for her. Sigh. I guess I feel closer to her because she is one student that I spoke to more than others.
I am supposed to go to the wake either on Saturday or Sunday. Sigh.
Praying that her family is doing fine. Got to call my boy tomorrow. :(
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Friday, October 24, 2008
the 12 year old dating mentality
how do people get attached so quickly? I don't understand, because I can't. Maybe the reason is that I am not ready.
I heard from the MT Malay Language teachers that some boys, including some from my class have girlfriends. and some change girlfriends often.
I do not think their status as girlfriends and boyfriends mean they do anything physical. The last time I spoke to my boy who supposedly had a girlfriend, they merely meet after school and spend time talking below their block of flats. No holding hands, nothing. Or maybe he just didn't want to tell me. That's dating right?
Different people have different definitions. Yeh. What constitutes dating anyway? When you date someone, are they already your girlfriend? :) WHen you hang out alone with another friend, are you already dating? haha.. I guess this post welcomes the weekend, where I get to think and think more about bo liao stuff like that.
Off for coffee now.
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I heard from the MT Malay Language teachers that some boys, including some from my class have girlfriends. and some change girlfriends often.
I do not think their status as girlfriends and boyfriends mean they do anything physical. The last time I spoke to my boy who supposedly had a girlfriend, they merely meet after school and spend time talking below their block of flats. No holding hands, nothing. Or maybe he just didn't want to tell me. That's dating right?
Different people have different definitions. Yeh. What constitutes dating anyway? When you date someone, are they already your girlfriend? :) WHen you hang out alone with another friend, are you already dating? haha.. I guess this post welcomes the weekend, where I get to think and think more about bo liao stuff like that.
Off for coffee now.
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Thursday, October 23, 2008
ARGH!
I need patience.... to .. d..e..a..l w...i...t...h my a..n...n...o...y...i..n..g..... .s...i...s...t...e...r. I was irritated with her twice, and raised my voice at her once...... She has been getting on my nerves....
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
She's so controlling, demanding and domineering. I don't like people to control me, especially people whom I do not respect very much.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
And I am not even PMSsing. SO doomed.
Pls pray, peeps. Patience and for me to LOVE her.... THANK YOU.
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arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
She's so controlling, demanding and domineering. I don't like people to control me, especially people whom I do not respect very much.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
And I am not even PMSsing. SO doomed.
Pls pray, peeps. Patience and for me to LOVE her.... THANK YOU.
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Wait. God is not a spoilsport.
there's this friend of mine. She is still recovering from a one year r/s that she went through. For 8 months already. 8 months is a long time. That probably means that the relationship was very intense. Of course, she did say that that was the first woman she has been with. But both of them were friends for 5 years before they got together, and the relationship was still that intense.
Putting all these information together made me think of the reason why I got physically intimate with the people whom I was attracted to rather quickly instead of waiting. I guess the initial feeling of "being in lust/love" is addictive, and it felt good that the other party felt the same way, and wanted the same thing. I guess we didn't want those feelings to fade off without acting on them.
Hearing my friend's story gave me the encouragement that the feelings do not just fade off. Or maybe they do? But real love not influenced by a sense of counterfeit closeness together with intensity is better than just lust and intensity? Self-control is prolly better especially when premature intimacy most likely brings about more complications than good. And I guess I learnt the importance of waiting through my own experiences.
This also makes me relate to how we often want things at our own timing rather than wait for God's perfect timing. It's as if we are telling God that He doesn't know what is good for us, and that we know best what is good for ourselves. But God knows best, doesn't He? And He is supposedly not a spoilsport. Trust in Him, I will continue to train myself to do so. Phew!
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Putting all these information together made me think of the reason why I got physically intimate with the people whom I was attracted to rather quickly instead of waiting. I guess the initial feeling of "being in lust/love" is addictive, and it felt good that the other party felt the same way, and wanted the same thing. I guess we didn't want those feelings to fade off without acting on them.
Hearing my friend's story gave me the encouragement that the feelings do not just fade off. Or maybe they do? But real love not influenced by a sense of counterfeit closeness together with intensity is better than just lust and intensity? Self-control is prolly better especially when premature intimacy most likely brings about more complications than good. And I guess I learnt the importance of waiting through my own experiences.
This also makes me relate to how we often want things at our own timing rather than wait for God's perfect timing. It's as if we are telling God that He doesn't know what is good for us, and that we know best what is good for ourselves. But God knows best, doesn't He? And He is supposedly not a spoilsport. Trust in Him, I will continue to train myself to do so. Phew!
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the power of the Holy Spirit
I met up with J for dinner and ice cream. Like any good christian fellowship, we ended praying for each other. She prayed for my specific needs, those that I shared with her about, and then she continued by praying that she sensed that I am going through some transitions in my life, and she prayed for God's peace to be with me, and that I will head towards where my heart is, but more so towards where God's heart is (something along that line). I needed that. What she prayed for.
She later shared that sometimes, she sees words but she doesn't always have the courage to speak nor pray about it. I think the gifting is present. Now, the idea is to fine-tune this sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. It's very much trial and error, learning from the process, and overtime, one will be able to recognise accurately what is from the Lord, and what is not.
I am in awe, not so much for the content of the prayer, but that God revealed His power through her. He's amazing. Although all christians have the ability to speak words that build up and edify, to reveal needs and give words of wisdom and encouragement, there are certain people with this gifting, that I am sure J has. And I pray that He will use her mightily. Keep walking close to God, J. He will do wonderful things through you.
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She later shared that sometimes, she sees words but she doesn't always have the courage to speak nor pray about it. I think the gifting is present. Now, the idea is to fine-tune this sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. It's very much trial and error, learning from the process, and overtime, one will be able to recognise accurately what is from the Lord, and what is not.
I am in awe, not so much for the content of the prayer, but that God revealed His power through her. He's amazing. Although all christians have the ability to speak words that build up and edify, to reveal needs and give words of wisdom and encouragement, there are certain people with this gifting, that I am sure J has. And I pray that He will use her mightily. Keep walking close to God, J. He will do wonderful things through you.
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How much concern is considered overbearing?
For my kids, I can be concerned to the point where I speak to them like their parents, that I give them the type of information their parents would give them. They require that sort of telling and advice at their age. I tell them to do this, not to do that. I tell them what is good for them, what is not, not so much that I have to be in control but because I care enough to want to tell them what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is not.
For adults, where and how do we draw the line? When do the people whom I care about know that I care a great deal for them without seeming like I am nagging and being overly concerned? How much is enough? How much is too much? How much concern to show so people would not misunderstand my intention? How much concern to show so people will know my intention? How much to persist? How much to let go?
Life is not easy ya? Always praying that God will give me more wisdom, more discernment.
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For adults, where and how do we draw the line? When do the people whom I care about know that I care a great deal for them without seeming like I am nagging and being overly concerned? How much is enough? How much is too much? How much concern to show so people would not misunderstand my intention? How much concern to show so people will know my intention? How much to persist? How much to let go?
Life is not easy ya? Always praying that God will give me more wisdom, more discernment.
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Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The Character of Integrity
Integrity is admitting that you farted. That's all the details I am giving. Hahaha.
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exercise and more exercise
I did 150 sit ups today. The reason why I did that with the kids today was because the PE storeroom's lock was changed and we did not get the new set of keys, and so there weren't any PE equipment. I resorted to doing mat work with the kids. I was contemplating some stretching exercises but decided that the kids might want to work out their muscles more than stretch them in the short 20 minutes lesson they had. They are so going to have their abdominal muscles ache because I taught them this new posture they had to hold for their abs too, in additional to their 2 sets of 30.
I need to be careful though because of my back injury. Whenever I strengthen my abdominal muscles excessively without taking care of my back muscles, something is bound to happen. I will always remember the 9 days bedridden experience and a few more 2 days bedridden experiences.
Speaking about white stuff, I need to get a white grip to make my tennis racket prettier.
My coach was right when he said that I can't keep practising with him, that I got to practise with others because it is through play that I learn more than just skills. I realised that over time, I am getting better at reading the placement of the ball, and that helps me to return more successfully. With my coach, I was happy paying him 40 dollars an hour just to feed me baskets of balls for me to practise my forehand and backhand strokes. It's a good workout, and I am used to isolating skills to practise before going for the real game.
I figured that it is due to my years of training for netball. I remembered I had to practise shooting twice a day, and get at least 95 out of 100 shots into the goal. I remembered also isolating basketball skills like passes, shots, dribbling before playing the whole game. In the recent years, times have changed. We were taught this concept of PLAY practice. Where the kids get exposed to the game through a modification of the game and then we teach them the skills. So this is what I do @ work.
I guess what is most important to me when I teach my kids (when I am in the right mood), is that they learn something new for PE and that they perspire. For English, I know that they understand and can apply what they have learnt. All these gives me the satisfaction when I teach.
I miss playing badminton!!
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I need to be careful though because of my back injury. Whenever I strengthen my abdominal muscles excessively without taking care of my back muscles, something is bound to happen. I will always remember the 9 days bedridden experience and a few more 2 days bedridden experiences.
Speaking about white stuff, I need to get a white grip to make my tennis racket prettier.
My coach was right when he said that I can't keep practising with him, that I got to practise with others because it is through play that I learn more than just skills. I realised that over time, I am getting better at reading the placement of the ball, and that helps me to return more successfully. With my coach, I was happy paying him 40 dollars an hour just to feed me baskets of balls for me to practise my forehand and backhand strokes. It's a good workout, and I am used to isolating skills to practise before going for the real game.
I figured that it is due to my years of training for netball. I remembered I had to practise shooting twice a day, and get at least 95 out of 100 shots into the goal. I remembered also isolating basketball skills like passes, shots, dribbling before playing the whole game. In the recent years, times have changed. We were taught this concept of PLAY practice. Where the kids get exposed to the game through a modification of the game and then we teach them the skills. So this is what I do @ work.
I guess what is most important to me when I teach my kids (when I am in the right mood), is that they learn something new for PE and that they perspire. For English, I know that they understand and can apply what they have learnt. All these gives me the satisfaction when I teach.
I miss playing badminton!!
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10-pointer reminders
I am blogging this from the new laptop. It is so pretty it melts my heart. White stuff makes me happy.
My heart has been very tender this past week. That is good. At times like this, I feel that it is so easy to surrender whatever I have to the Lord. I had a great time worshipping God while leading worship last night too because of that.
Here is an article that someone from Covenant sent me about a year ago. I thought some of the stuff written in here is pretty insightful. If only I read it when I received it. I didn't think I needed to know the 7 habits of defective dating then. Now I know better.
What applies to me in this article:
1) Do not shop when I am hungry. (This means to me that It is not a good idea to want to be in a relationship because we are lonely and incomplete.)
2) Deepening intimacy without defining a level of commitment is hazardous.
3) The fulfillment of intimacy is a byproduct of commitment-based love
4) Friendship is two persons walking together towards a common goal. Their mutual interest brings them together, where the focus is not on couple-ness but the common goal. (For me, I really like it when I can grow with that person by saying, " We are interested in the same things, let's enjoy these common interests together." For a start. )
5) It is difficult to be objective and evaluate the merits of the relationship when physical affection is introduced early in a relationship.
6) If a couple skips the friendship part of the relationship, lust often becomes the common interest in bringing them together.
7) Physical involvement can distort two people’s perspective of each other and lead to unwise choices.
8) Singlehood is a good time to grow with God through serving Him and bettering oneself. Also, in doing that, one is preparing themselves for their future partner, whom God is preparing for you.
9) Dating creates an artificial environment that doesn’t demand a person to accurately portray his or her positive and negative characteristics.
10) Hanging out in groups is recommended to exclusive dating early in the stage where there is mutual interest and attraction.
I like this, though I feel it is too extreme a view, even to me, even for me :) :
In Passion and Purity, Elisabeth Elliot states, “Unless a man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right has he to claim her exclusive attention?
THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY DEFECTIVE DATING
By Joshua Harris
Recognizing dating’s negative tendencies
When I was a kid, my mom taught me two rules of grocery shopping. First, never shop when you’re hungry—everything will look good and you’ll spend too much money. And second, make sure to pick a good cart.
I’ve got the first rule down, but I haven’t had much success with that second rule. I seem to have a knack for picking rusty grocery carts that make clattering noises or ones with squeaky wheels that grate on your nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard.
But by far the worst kind of cart you could pick is the “swerver.” Have you ever dealt with one of these? This kind of cart has a mind of its own. You want to go in a straight line, but the cart wants to swerve to the left and take out the cat food display (And, much to our dismay and embarrassment, it too often succeeds!) The shopper who has chosen a swerving cart can have no peace. Every maneuver, from turning down the cereal aisle to gliding alongside the meat section, becomes a battle—the shopper’s will pitted against the can’s.
Why am I talking to you about shopping carts? Well, I recall my bad luck with grocery carts because many times I’ve experienced a similar “battle of wills” with dating. I’m not talking about conflicts between me and the girls I’ve dated. I mean that I’ve struggled with the whole process. Arid based on my experiences and my exploration of God’s Word, I’ve concluded that for Christians dating is a swerver—a set of values and attitudes that wants to go in a direction different from the one God has mapped out for us. Let me tell you why
SELF.CONTROL ISN’T ENOUGH
I once heard a youth minister speak on the topic of love and sex. He told a heart-rending story about Eric and Jenny, two strong Christians who had actively participated in his youth group years earlier. Eric and Jenny’s dating relationship had started out innocently—Friday nights at the movies and rounds of putt-putt golf. But as time went by, their physical relationship slowly began to accelerate, and they wound up sleeping together. Soon afterward they broke up, discouraged and hurt.
The pastor telling the story saw both of them years later at a high school reunion. Jenny was now married and had a child. Eric was still single. But both came to him separately and expressed emotional trauma and guilt over past memories.
“When I see him, I remember it all so vividly,” Jenny cried.
Eric expressed similar feelings. “‘When I see her, the hurt comes back,” he told his former youth pastor. “The wounds still haven’t healed.”
When the youth minister had finished telling this story you could have heard a pin drop. We all sat waiting for some sort of solution. We knew the reality of the story he told. Some of us had made the same mistake or watched it happen in the lives of our friends. We wanted something better. We wanted the pastor to tell us what we were supposed to do instead.
But he gave no alternative that afternoon. Evidently the pastor thought the couple’s only mistake was giving in to temptation. He seemed to think that Eric and Jenny should have had more respect for each other and more self-control. Although this pastor encouraged a different outcome—saving sex for marriage—he didn’t offer a different practice.
Is this the answer? Head out on the same course as those who have fallen and hope that in the critical moment you’ll be able to stay in control? Giving young people this kind of advice is like giving a person a cart that swerves and sending him into a store stocked with the world’s most expensive Chinaware. Despite the narrow aisles and glass shelves laden with delicate dishes, this person is expected to navigate the rows with a cart known to go off course? I don’t think so.
Yet this is exactly what we try in many of our relationships. We see the failed attempts around us, but we refuse to replace this “cart” called dating. We want to stay on the straight and narrow path and serve God, yet we continue a practice that often pull us in the wrong direction.
DEFECTIVE DATING
Dating has built-in problems, and if we continue to date according to the system as it is today, we’ll more than likely swerve into trouble. Eric and Jenny probably had good intentions, but they founded their relationship on our culture’s defective attitudes and patterns for romance. Unfortunately, even in their adulthood they continue to reap the consequences.
The following “seven habits of highly defective dating” are some of the “swerves” dating relationships often make. Perhaps you can relate to one or two of them. (I know I can!)
1. Dating leads to intimacy but not necessarily to commitment
Jayme was a junior in high school; her boyfriend, Troy, was a senior. Troy was everything Jayme ever wanted in a guy, and for eight months they were inseparable. But two months before Troy left for college, he abruptly announced that he didn’t want to see Jayme anymore.
“When we broke up it was definitely the toughest thing that’s ever happened to me,” Jayme told me afterward. Even though they’d never physically gone beyond a kiss, Jayme had completely given her heart and emotions to Troy. Troy had enjoyed the intimacy while it served his needs but then rejected her when he was ready to move on.
Does Jayme’s story sound familiar to you? Perhaps you’ve heard something similar from a friend, or maybe you’ve experienced it yourself. Like many dating relationships, Jayme and Troy’s became intimate with little or no thought about commitment or how either of them would be affected when it ended. We can blame Troy for being a jerk, but let’s ask ourselves a question. What’s really the point of most dating relationships? Often dating encourages intimacy for the sake of intimacy— two people getting close to each other without any real intention of making a
long-term commitment.
Deepening intimacy without defining a level of commitment is plainly dangerous. It’s like going mountain climbing with a partner who isn’t sure that she wants the responsibility of holding your rope. When you’ve climbed two thousand feet up a mountain face, you don’t want to have a conversation about how she feels “tied down” by your relationship. In the same way, many people experience deep hurt when they open themselves up emotionally and physically only to be abandoned by others who proclaim they’re not ready for “serious commitment.”
An intimate relationship is a beautiful experience that God wants us to enjoy But He has made the fulfillment of intimacy a byproduct of commitment-based love. You might say that intimacy between a man and a woman is the icing on the cake of a relationship headed toward marriage.
And if we look at intimacy that way, then most dating relationships are pure icing. They usually lack a purpose or clear destination. In most cases, especially in high school, dating is short term, serving the needs of the moment. People date because they want to enjoy the emotional and even physical benefits of intimacy without the responsibility of real commitment.
In fact, that’s what the original revolution of dating was all about. Dating hasn’t been around forever. As I see it, dating is a product of our entertainment-driven, “disposable-everything” American culture. Long before Seventeen magazine ever gave teenagers tips on dating, people did things very differently.
At the turn of the twentieth century a guy and girl became romantically involved only if they planned to marry. If a young man spent time at a girl’s home, family and friends assumed that he intended to propose to her. But shifting attitudes in culture and the arrival of the automobile brought radical changes. The new “rules” allowed people to indulge in all the thrills of romantic love without having any intention of marriage. Author Beth Bailey documents these changes in a book whose title, From Front Porch to Backseat, says everything about the difference in society’s attitude when dating became the norm. Love and romance became things people could enjoy solely for their recreational value.
Though much has changed since the 1920s, the tendency of dating relationships to move toward intimacy without commitment remains very much the same.
For Christians this negative swerve is at the root of dating’s problems. Intimacy without commitment awakens desires— emotional and physical—that neither person can justly meet. In 1 Thessalonians 4:6 (KJV) the Bible calls this “defrauding7 ripping someone off by raising expectations but not delivering on the promise. Pastor Stephen Olford describes defrauding as “arousing a hunger we cannot righteously satisfy”—promising something we cannot or will not provide.
Intimacy without commitment, like icing without cake, can be sweet, but it ends up making us sick.
2. Dating tends to skip the ‘friendship” stage of a relationship.
Jack met Libby on a church-sponsored college retreat. Libby was a friendly girl with a reputation for taking her relationship with God seriously Jack and Libby wound up chatting during a game of volleyball and seemed to really hit it off. Jack wasn’t interested in an intense relationship, but he wanted to get to know Libby better. Two days after the retreat he called her up and asked if she’d like to go out to a movie the next weekend. She said yes.
Did Jack make the right move? Well, he did in terms of scoring a date, but if he really wanted to build a friendship, he more than likely struck out. One-on-one dating has the tendency to move a guy and girl beyond friendship and toward romance too quickly
Have you ever known someone who worried about dating a long-time friend? If you have, you’ve probably heard that person say something like this: “He asked me out, but I’m just afraid that if we start actually dating it will change our friendship.” What is this person really saying? People who make statements like that, whether or not they realize it, recognize that dating encourages romantic expectations. In a true friendship you don’t feel pressured by knowing you “like” the other person or that he or she “likes” you back. You feel free to be yourself and do things together without spending three hours in front of the mirror, making sure you look perfect.
C. S. Lewis describes friendship as two people walking side by side toward a common goal. Their mutual interest brings them together. Jack skipped this “commonality” stage by asking Libby out on a typical, no-brainer, dinner-and-movie date where their “coupleness” was the focus.
In dating, romantic attraction is often the relationship’s cornerstone. The premise of dating is “I’m attracted to you; therefore, let’s get to know each other.” The premise of friendship, on the other hand, is “We’re interested in the same things; let’s enjoy these common interests together.” If, after developing a friendship, romantic attraction forms, that’s an added bonus.
Intimacy without commitment is defrauding. Intimacy without friendship is superficial. A relationship based only on physical attraction and romantic feelings will last only as long as the feelings last.
3. Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love.
Dave and Heidi didn’t mean to make out with each other on their first date. Really Dave doesn’t have “only one thing on his mind,” and Heidi isn’t “that kind of girl.” It just happened. They had gone to a concert together and afterward watched a video at Heidi’s house. During the movie, Heidi made a joke about Dave’s attempt at dancing during the concert. He started tickling her. Their playful wrestling suddenly stopped when they found themselves staring into each other’s eyes as Dave was leaning over her on the living room floor. They kissed. It was like something out of a movie. It felt so right.
It may have felt right, but the early introduction of physical affection to their relationship added confusion. Dave and Heidi hadn’t really gotten to know each other, but suddenly they felt close. As the relationship progressed, they found it difficult to remain objective. Whenever they’d try to evaluate the merits of their relationship, they’d immediately picture the intimacy and passion of their physical relationship. “It’s so obvious we love each other,” Heidi thought. But did they? Just because lips have met doesn’t mean hearts have joined. And just because two bodies are drawn to each other doesn’t mean two people are right for each other. A physical relationship doesn’t equal love.
When we consider that our culture as a whole regards the words “love” and “sex” as interchangeable, we shouldn’t be surprised that many dating relationships mistake physical attraction and sexual intimacy for true love. Sadly, many Christian dating relationships reflect this false mind-set.
When we examine the progression of most relationships, we can clearly see how dating encourages this substitution. First, as we pointed out, dating does not always lead to lifelong commitment. For this reason, many dating relationships begin with physical attraction; the underlying attitude is that a person’s primary value comes from the way he or she looks and performs as a date. Even before a kiss has been given, the physical, sensual aspect of the relationship has taken priority
Next, the relationship often steamrolls toward intimacy Because dating doesn’t require commitment, the two people involved allow the needs and passions of the moment to take center stage. The couple doesn’t look at each other as possible life partners or weigh the responsibilities of marriage. Instead, they focus on the demands of the present. And with that mindset, the couple’s physical relationship can easily become the focus.
And if a guy and girl skip the friendship stage of their relationship, lust often becomes the common interest that brings the couple together. As a result, they gauge the seriousness of their relationship by the level of their physical involvement. Two people who date each other want to feel that they’re special to each other, and they can concretely express this through physical intimacy They begin to distinguish their “special relationship” through hand holding, kissing, and everything else that follows. For this reason, most people believe that going out with someone means physical involvement.
Focusing on the physical is plainly sinful. God demands sexual purity And He does this for our own good. Physical involvement can distort two people’s perspective of each other and lead to unwise choices. God also knows we’ll carry the memories of our past physical involvements into marriage. He doesn’t want us to live with guilt and regret.
Physical involvement can make two people feel close. But if many people in dating relationships really examined the focus of their relationships, they’d probably discover that all they have in common is lust.
4. Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships.
While Garreth and Jenny were dating, they didn’t need anyone else. Since it meant spending time with Jenny, Garreth had no problem giving up Wednesday night Bible study with the guys. Jenny didn’t think twice about how little she talked to her younger sister and mother now that she was dating Garreth. Nor did she realize that when she did talk to them, she always started her sentences with “Garreth this...” and “Garreth said such and such...” Without intending to, both had foolishly and selfishly cut themselves off from other relationships.
By its very definition, dating is about two people focusing on each other. Unfortunately, in most cases the rest of the world fades into the background. If you’ve ever felt like a third wheel hanging out with two friends who are dating each other, you know how true this is.
Granted, of all dating’s problems, this one is probably the easiest to fix. Yet Christians still need to take it seriously. Why? First, because when we allow one relationship to crowd out others, we lose perspective. In Proverbs 15:22 we read, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” If we make our decisions about life based solely on the influence of one relationship, we’ll probably make poor judgments.
Of course we make this same mistake in any number of non-romantic relationships. But we face this problem more often in dating relationships because these relationships involve our hearts and emotions. And because dating focuses on the plans of a couple, major issues related to marriage, family, and faith are likely at stake.
And if two people haven’t defined their level of commitment, they’re particularly at risk. You put yourself in a precarious position if you isolate yourself from the people who love and support you because you dive wholeheartedly into a romantic relationship not grounded in commitment. In Passion and Purity, Elisabeth Elliot states, “Unless a man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right has he to claim her exclusive attention? Unless she has been asked to marry him, why would a sensible woman promise any man her exclusive attention?” How many people end dating relationships only to find their ties to other friends severed?
When Garreth and Jenny mutually decided to stop dating, they were surprised to find their other friendships in disrepair. It’s not that their other friends didn’t like them; they hardly knew them anymore. Neither had invested any time or effort in maintaining these friendships while they concentrated on their dating relationship.
Perhaps you’ve done a similar thing. Or maybe you know the pain and frustration of being put on the back burner for the sake of a friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend. The exclusive attention so often expected in dating relationships has a tendency to steal people’s passion for serving in the church and to isolate them from the friends who love them most, family members who know them best, and, sadly, even God, whose will is far more important than any romantic interest.
5. Dating, in many cases, distracts young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future.
We cannot live in the future, but neglecting our current obligations will disqualify us for tomorrow’s responsibilities. Being distracted by love is not such a bad thing—unless God wants you to be doing something else.
One of the saddest tendencies of dating is to distract young adults from developing their God-given abilities and skills. Instead of equipping themselves with the character, education, and experience necessary to succeed in life, many allow themselves to be consumed by the present needs that dating emphasizes.
Christopher and Stephanie started dating when they were both fifteen years old. In many ways, they had the model dating relationship. They never got involved physically and when they broke up two years later, their breakup was amicable. So what harm was done? Well, none in the sense that they didn’t get into trouble. But we can begin to see some problems when we look at what Christopher and Stephanie could have been doing instead. Maintaining a relationship takes a lot of time and energy Christopher and Stephanie spent countless hours talking, writing, thinking, and often worrying about their relationship. The energy they exerted stole from other pursuits.
For Christopher, the relationship drained his enthusiasm for his hobby of computer programming and his involvement with the church’s worship band. Though Stephanie doesn’t hold it against Christopher, she rejected several opportunities to go on short-term missions because she didn’t want to be away from him. Their relationship swallowed up time both of them could have spent developing skills and exploring new opportunities.
Dating may help you practice being a good boyfriend or girlfriend, but what are these skills really worth? Even if you’re going out with the person you will one day marry a preoccupation with being the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend now can actually hinder you from being the future husband or wife that person will one day need.
6. Dating can cause discontentment with God’s gift of singleness.
On my brother’s third birthday, he received a beautiful blue bicycle. The miniature bike was brand-new, complete with training wheels, protective padding, and streamers. I thought he couldn’t ask for a better first bike, and I couldn’t wait to see his reaction.
But to my chagrin my brother didn’t seem impressed with the present. When my dad pulled the bike out of its large cardboard box, my brother looked at it a moment, smiled, then began playing with the box. It took my family and me a few days to convince him that the real gift was the bike.
I can’t help but think that God views our infatuation with short-term dating relationships much as I did my brother’s love for a worthless box. A string of uncommitted dating relationships is not the gift! God gives us singleness—a season of our lives unmatched in its boundless opportunities for growth, learning, and service—and we view it as a chance to get bogged down in finding and keeping boyfriends and girlfriends. But we don’t find the real beauty of singleness in pursuing romance with as many different people as we want. We find the real beauty in using our freedom to serve God with abandon.
Dating causes dissatisfaction because it encourages a wrong use of this freedom. God has placed a desire in most men and women for marriage. Although we don’t sin when we look forward to marriage, we might be guilty of poor stewardship of our singleness when we allow a desire for something God obviously doesn’t have for us yet to rob our ability to enjoy and appreciate what He has given us. Dating plays a role in fostering this dissatisfaction because it gives single people just enough intimacy to make them wish they had more. Instead of enjoying the unique qualities of singleness, dating causes people to focus on what they don’t have.
7. Dating creates an artificial environment for evaluating another person’s character
Although most dating relationships don’t head toward marriage, some—especially those among older, college-age students—are motivated by marriage. People who sincerely want to find out if someone is potential marriage material need to understand that typical dating actually hinders that process. Dating creates an artificial environment for two people to interact. As a result, each person can easily convey an equally artificial image.
In the driveway of our house we have a basketball hoop that we can adjust to different heights. When I lower the hoop three feet from its normal setting, I can look like a pretty good basketball player. Dunking is no problem. I glide across the pavement and slam the ball down every time. But my “skill” exists only because I’ve lowered the standards-—I’m not playing in a real environment. Put me on a court with a ten-foot hoop, and I’m back to being a white boy who can’t jump.
In a similar way, dating creates an artificial environment that doesn’t demand a person to accurately portray his or her positive and negative characteristics. On a date, a person can charm his or her way into a date’s heart. He drives a nice car and pays for everything; she looks great. But who cares? Being fun on a date doesn’t say anything about a person’s character or ability to be a good husband or wife.
Part of the reason dating is fun is that it gives us a break from real life. For this reason, when I’m married I plan to make a habit of dating my wife. In marriage, you need to take breaks from the stress of kids and work; you need to just get away for a bit. But two people weighing the possibility of marriage need to make sure they don’t just interact within the fun, romantic settings of dating. Their priority shouldn’t be to get away from real life; they need a strong dose of objective reality! They need to see each other in the real-life settings of family and friends. They need to watch each other serving and working. How does he interact with the people who know him best? How does she react when things don’t go perfectly? When considering a potential mate, we need to find the answers to these kinds of questions—questions that dating won’t answer.
OLD HABITS DIE HARD
The seven habits of highly defective dating reveal that we can’t fix many of dating’s problems by merely “dating fight.” I believe that dating has dangerous tendencies that don’t go away just because Christians do the steering. And even those Christians who can avoid the major pitfalls of premarital sex and traumatic breakups often spend much of their energy wrestling with temptation.
If you’ve dated, this probably sounds familiar to you. I think that for too long we’ve approached relationships using the world’s mind-set and values, and if you’ve tried it, you might agree with me that it just doesn’t work. Let’s not waste any more time battling the swerving cart of dating. It’s time for a new attitude.
.
My heart has been very tender this past week. That is good. At times like this, I feel that it is so easy to surrender whatever I have to the Lord. I had a great time worshipping God while leading worship last night too because of that.
Here is an article that someone from Covenant sent me about a year ago. I thought some of the stuff written in here is pretty insightful. If only I read it when I received it. I didn't think I needed to know the 7 habits of defective dating then. Now I know better.
What applies to me in this article:
1) Do not shop when I am hungry. (This means to me that It is not a good idea to want to be in a relationship because we are lonely and incomplete.)
2) Deepening intimacy without defining a level of commitment is hazardous.
3) The fulfillment of intimacy is a byproduct of commitment-based love
4) Friendship is two persons walking together towards a common goal. Their mutual interest brings them together, where the focus is not on couple-ness but the common goal. (For me, I really like it when I can grow with that person by saying, " We are interested in the same things, let's enjoy these common interests together." For a start. )
5) It is difficult to be objective and evaluate the merits of the relationship when physical affection is introduced early in a relationship.
6) If a couple skips the friendship part of the relationship, lust often becomes the common interest in bringing them together.
7) Physical involvement can distort two people’s perspective of each other and lead to unwise choices.
8) Singlehood is a good time to grow with God through serving Him and bettering oneself. Also, in doing that, one is preparing themselves for their future partner, whom God is preparing for you.
9) Dating creates an artificial environment that doesn’t demand a person to accurately portray his or her positive and negative characteristics.
10) Hanging out in groups is recommended to exclusive dating early in the stage where there is mutual interest and attraction.
I like this, though I feel it is too extreme a view, even to me, even for me :) :
In Passion and Purity, Elisabeth Elliot states, “Unless a man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right has he to claim her exclusive attention?
THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY DEFECTIVE DATING
By Joshua Harris
Recognizing dating’s negative tendencies
When I was a kid, my mom taught me two rules of grocery shopping. First, never shop when you’re hungry—everything will look good and you’ll spend too much money. And second, make sure to pick a good cart.
I’ve got the first rule down, but I haven’t had much success with that second rule. I seem to have a knack for picking rusty grocery carts that make clattering noises or ones with squeaky wheels that grate on your nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard.
But by far the worst kind of cart you could pick is the “swerver.” Have you ever dealt with one of these? This kind of cart has a mind of its own. You want to go in a straight line, but the cart wants to swerve to the left and take out the cat food display (And, much to our dismay and embarrassment, it too often succeeds!) The shopper who has chosen a swerving cart can have no peace. Every maneuver, from turning down the cereal aisle to gliding alongside the meat section, becomes a battle—the shopper’s will pitted against the can’s.
Why am I talking to you about shopping carts? Well, I recall my bad luck with grocery carts because many times I’ve experienced a similar “battle of wills” with dating. I’m not talking about conflicts between me and the girls I’ve dated. I mean that I’ve struggled with the whole process. Arid based on my experiences and my exploration of God’s Word, I’ve concluded that for Christians dating is a swerver—a set of values and attitudes that wants to go in a direction different from the one God has mapped out for us. Let me tell you why
SELF.CONTROL ISN’T ENOUGH
I once heard a youth minister speak on the topic of love and sex. He told a heart-rending story about Eric and Jenny, two strong Christians who had actively participated in his youth group years earlier. Eric and Jenny’s dating relationship had started out innocently—Friday nights at the movies and rounds of putt-putt golf. But as time went by, their physical relationship slowly began to accelerate, and they wound up sleeping together. Soon afterward they broke up, discouraged and hurt.
The pastor telling the story saw both of them years later at a high school reunion. Jenny was now married and had a child. Eric was still single. But both came to him separately and expressed emotional trauma and guilt over past memories.
“When I see him, I remember it all so vividly,” Jenny cried.
Eric expressed similar feelings. “‘When I see her, the hurt comes back,” he told his former youth pastor. “The wounds still haven’t healed.”
When the youth minister had finished telling this story you could have heard a pin drop. We all sat waiting for some sort of solution. We knew the reality of the story he told. Some of us had made the same mistake or watched it happen in the lives of our friends. We wanted something better. We wanted the pastor to tell us what we were supposed to do instead.
But he gave no alternative that afternoon. Evidently the pastor thought the couple’s only mistake was giving in to temptation. He seemed to think that Eric and Jenny should have had more respect for each other and more self-control. Although this pastor encouraged a different outcome—saving sex for marriage—he didn’t offer a different practice.
Is this the answer? Head out on the same course as those who have fallen and hope that in the critical moment you’ll be able to stay in control? Giving young people this kind of advice is like giving a person a cart that swerves and sending him into a store stocked with the world’s most expensive Chinaware. Despite the narrow aisles and glass shelves laden with delicate dishes, this person is expected to navigate the rows with a cart known to go off course? I don’t think so.
Yet this is exactly what we try in many of our relationships. We see the failed attempts around us, but we refuse to replace this “cart” called dating. We want to stay on the straight and narrow path and serve God, yet we continue a practice that often pull us in the wrong direction.
DEFECTIVE DATING
Dating has built-in problems, and if we continue to date according to the system as it is today, we’ll more than likely swerve into trouble. Eric and Jenny probably had good intentions, but they founded their relationship on our culture’s defective attitudes and patterns for romance. Unfortunately, even in their adulthood they continue to reap the consequences.
The following “seven habits of highly defective dating” are some of the “swerves” dating relationships often make. Perhaps you can relate to one or two of them. (I know I can!)
1. Dating leads to intimacy but not necessarily to commitment
Jayme was a junior in high school; her boyfriend, Troy, was a senior. Troy was everything Jayme ever wanted in a guy, and for eight months they were inseparable. But two months before Troy left for college, he abruptly announced that he didn’t want to see Jayme anymore.
“When we broke up it was definitely the toughest thing that’s ever happened to me,” Jayme told me afterward. Even though they’d never physically gone beyond a kiss, Jayme had completely given her heart and emotions to Troy. Troy had enjoyed the intimacy while it served his needs but then rejected her when he was ready to move on.
Does Jayme’s story sound familiar to you? Perhaps you’ve heard something similar from a friend, or maybe you’ve experienced it yourself. Like many dating relationships, Jayme and Troy’s became intimate with little or no thought about commitment or how either of them would be affected when it ended. We can blame Troy for being a jerk, but let’s ask ourselves a question. What’s really the point of most dating relationships? Often dating encourages intimacy for the sake of intimacy— two people getting close to each other without any real intention of making a
long-term commitment.
Deepening intimacy without defining a level of commitment is plainly dangerous. It’s like going mountain climbing with a partner who isn’t sure that she wants the responsibility of holding your rope. When you’ve climbed two thousand feet up a mountain face, you don’t want to have a conversation about how she feels “tied down” by your relationship. In the same way, many people experience deep hurt when they open themselves up emotionally and physically only to be abandoned by others who proclaim they’re not ready for “serious commitment.”
An intimate relationship is a beautiful experience that God wants us to enjoy But He has made the fulfillment of intimacy a byproduct of commitment-based love. You might say that intimacy between a man and a woman is the icing on the cake of a relationship headed toward marriage.
And if we look at intimacy that way, then most dating relationships are pure icing. They usually lack a purpose or clear destination. In most cases, especially in high school, dating is short term, serving the needs of the moment. People date because they want to enjoy the emotional and even physical benefits of intimacy without the responsibility of real commitment.
In fact, that’s what the original revolution of dating was all about. Dating hasn’t been around forever. As I see it, dating is a product of our entertainment-driven, “disposable-everything” American culture. Long before Seventeen magazine ever gave teenagers tips on dating, people did things very differently.
At the turn of the twentieth century a guy and girl became romantically involved only if they planned to marry. If a young man spent time at a girl’s home, family and friends assumed that he intended to propose to her. But shifting attitudes in culture and the arrival of the automobile brought radical changes. The new “rules” allowed people to indulge in all the thrills of romantic love without having any intention of marriage. Author Beth Bailey documents these changes in a book whose title, From Front Porch to Backseat, says everything about the difference in society’s attitude when dating became the norm. Love and romance became things people could enjoy solely for their recreational value.
Though much has changed since the 1920s, the tendency of dating relationships to move toward intimacy without commitment remains very much the same.
For Christians this negative swerve is at the root of dating’s problems. Intimacy without commitment awakens desires— emotional and physical—that neither person can justly meet. In 1 Thessalonians 4:6 (KJV) the Bible calls this “defrauding7 ripping someone off by raising expectations but not delivering on the promise. Pastor Stephen Olford describes defrauding as “arousing a hunger we cannot righteously satisfy”—promising something we cannot or will not provide.
Intimacy without commitment, like icing without cake, can be sweet, but it ends up making us sick.
2. Dating tends to skip the ‘friendship” stage of a relationship.
Jack met Libby on a church-sponsored college retreat. Libby was a friendly girl with a reputation for taking her relationship with God seriously Jack and Libby wound up chatting during a game of volleyball and seemed to really hit it off. Jack wasn’t interested in an intense relationship, but he wanted to get to know Libby better. Two days after the retreat he called her up and asked if she’d like to go out to a movie the next weekend. She said yes.
Did Jack make the right move? Well, he did in terms of scoring a date, but if he really wanted to build a friendship, he more than likely struck out. One-on-one dating has the tendency to move a guy and girl beyond friendship and toward romance too quickly
Have you ever known someone who worried about dating a long-time friend? If you have, you’ve probably heard that person say something like this: “He asked me out, but I’m just afraid that if we start actually dating it will change our friendship.” What is this person really saying? People who make statements like that, whether or not they realize it, recognize that dating encourages romantic expectations. In a true friendship you don’t feel pressured by knowing you “like” the other person or that he or she “likes” you back. You feel free to be yourself and do things together without spending three hours in front of the mirror, making sure you look perfect.
C. S. Lewis describes friendship as two people walking side by side toward a common goal. Their mutual interest brings them together. Jack skipped this “commonality” stage by asking Libby out on a typical, no-brainer, dinner-and-movie date where their “coupleness” was the focus.
In dating, romantic attraction is often the relationship’s cornerstone. The premise of dating is “I’m attracted to you; therefore, let’s get to know each other.” The premise of friendship, on the other hand, is “We’re interested in the same things; let’s enjoy these common interests together.” If, after developing a friendship, romantic attraction forms, that’s an added bonus.
Intimacy without commitment is defrauding. Intimacy without friendship is superficial. A relationship based only on physical attraction and romantic feelings will last only as long as the feelings last.
3. Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love.
Dave and Heidi didn’t mean to make out with each other on their first date. Really Dave doesn’t have “only one thing on his mind,” and Heidi isn’t “that kind of girl.” It just happened. They had gone to a concert together and afterward watched a video at Heidi’s house. During the movie, Heidi made a joke about Dave’s attempt at dancing during the concert. He started tickling her. Their playful wrestling suddenly stopped when they found themselves staring into each other’s eyes as Dave was leaning over her on the living room floor. They kissed. It was like something out of a movie. It felt so right.
It may have felt right, but the early introduction of physical affection to their relationship added confusion. Dave and Heidi hadn’t really gotten to know each other, but suddenly they felt close. As the relationship progressed, they found it difficult to remain objective. Whenever they’d try to evaluate the merits of their relationship, they’d immediately picture the intimacy and passion of their physical relationship. “It’s so obvious we love each other,” Heidi thought. But did they? Just because lips have met doesn’t mean hearts have joined. And just because two bodies are drawn to each other doesn’t mean two people are right for each other. A physical relationship doesn’t equal love.
When we consider that our culture as a whole regards the words “love” and “sex” as interchangeable, we shouldn’t be surprised that many dating relationships mistake physical attraction and sexual intimacy for true love. Sadly, many Christian dating relationships reflect this false mind-set.
When we examine the progression of most relationships, we can clearly see how dating encourages this substitution. First, as we pointed out, dating does not always lead to lifelong commitment. For this reason, many dating relationships begin with physical attraction; the underlying attitude is that a person’s primary value comes from the way he or she looks and performs as a date. Even before a kiss has been given, the physical, sensual aspect of the relationship has taken priority
Next, the relationship often steamrolls toward intimacy Because dating doesn’t require commitment, the two people involved allow the needs and passions of the moment to take center stage. The couple doesn’t look at each other as possible life partners or weigh the responsibilities of marriage. Instead, they focus on the demands of the present. And with that mindset, the couple’s physical relationship can easily become the focus.
And if a guy and girl skip the friendship stage of their relationship, lust often becomes the common interest that brings the couple together. As a result, they gauge the seriousness of their relationship by the level of their physical involvement. Two people who date each other want to feel that they’re special to each other, and they can concretely express this through physical intimacy They begin to distinguish their “special relationship” through hand holding, kissing, and everything else that follows. For this reason, most people believe that going out with someone means physical involvement.
Focusing on the physical is plainly sinful. God demands sexual purity And He does this for our own good. Physical involvement can distort two people’s perspective of each other and lead to unwise choices. God also knows we’ll carry the memories of our past physical involvements into marriage. He doesn’t want us to live with guilt and regret.
Physical involvement can make two people feel close. But if many people in dating relationships really examined the focus of their relationships, they’d probably discover that all they have in common is lust.
4. Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships.
While Garreth and Jenny were dating, they didn’t need anyone else. Since it meant spending time with Jenny, Garreth had no problem giving up Wednesday night Bible study with the guys. Jenny didn’t think twice about how little she talked to her younger sister and mother now that she was dating Garreth. Nor did she realize that when she did talk to them, she always started her sentences with “Garreth this...” and “Garreth said such and such...” Without intending to, both had foolishly and selfishly cut themselves off from other relationships.
By its very definition, dating is about two people focusing on each other. Unfortunately, in most cases the rest of the world fades into the background. If you’ve ever felt like a third wheel hanging out with two friends who are dating each other, you know how true this is.
Granted, of all dating’s problems, this one is probably the easiest to fix. Yet Christians still need to take it seriously. Why? First, because when we allow one relationship to crowd out others, we lose perspective. In Proverbs 15:22 we read, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” If we make our decisions about life based solely on the influence of one relationship, we’ll probably make poor judgments.
Of course we make this same mistake in any number of non-romantic relationships. But we face this problem more often in dating relationships because these relationships involve our hearts and emotions. And because dating focuses on the plans of a couple, major issues related to marriage, family, and faith are likely at stake.
And if two people haven’t defined their level of commitment, they’re particularly at risk. You put yourself in a precarious position if you isolate yourself from the people who love and support you because you dive wholeheartedly into a romantic relationship not grounded in commitment. In Passion and Purity, Elisabeth Elliot states, “Unless a man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right has he to claim her exclusive attention? Unless she has been asked to marry him, why would a sensible woman promise any man her exclusive attention?” How many people end dating relationships only to find their ties to other friends severed?
When Garreth and Jenny mutually decided to stop dating, they were surprised to find their other friendships in disrepair. It’s not that their other friends didn’t like them; they hardly knew them anymore. Neither had invested any time or effort in maintaining these friendships while they concentrated on their dating relationship.
Perhaps you’ve done a similar thing. Or maybe you know the pain and frustration of being put on the back burner for the sake of a friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend. The exclusive attention so often expected in dating relationships has a tendency to steal people’s passion for serving in the church and to isolate them from the friends who love them most, family members who know them best, and, sadly, even God, whose will is far more important than any romantic interest.
5. Dating, in many cases, distracts young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future.
We cannot live in the future, but neglecting our current obligations will disqualify us for tomorrow’s responsibilities. Being distracted by love is not such a bad thing—unless God wants you to be doing something else.
One of the saddest tendencies of dating is to distract young adults from developing their God-given abilities and skills. Instead of equipping themselves with the character, education, and experience necessary to succeed in life, many allow themselves to be consumed by the present needs that dating emphasizes.
Christopher and Stephanie started dating when they were both fifteen years old. In many ways, they had the model dating relationship. They never got involved physically and when they broke up two years later, their breakup was amicable. So what harm was done? Well, none in the sense that they didn’t get into trouble. But we can begin to see some problems when we look at what Christopher and Stephanie could have been doing instead. Maintaining a relationship takes a lot of time and energy Christopher and Stephanie spent countless hours talking, writing, thinking, and often worrying about their relationship. The energy they exerted stole from other pursuits.
For Christopher, the relationship drained his enthusiasm for his hobby of computer programming and his involvement with the church’s worship band. Though Stephanie doesn’t hold it against Christopher, she rejected several opportunities to go on short-term missions because she didn’t want to be away from him. Their relationship swallowed up time both of them could have spent developing skills and exploring new opportunities.
Dating may help you practice being a good boyfriend or girlfriend, but what are these skills really worth? Even if you’re going out with the person you will one day marry a preoccupation with being the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend now can actually hinder you from being the future husband or wife that person will one day need.
6. Dating can cause discontentment with God’s gift of singleness.
On my brother’s third birthday, he received a beautiful blue bicycle. The miniature bike was brand-new, complete with training wheels, protective padding, and streamers. I thought he couldn’t ask for a better first bike, and I couldn’t wait to see his reaction.
But to my chagrin my brother didn’t seem impressed with the present. When my dad pulled the bike out of its large cardboard box, my brother looked at it a moment, smiled, then began playing with the box. It took my family and me a few days to convince him that the real gift was the bike.
I can’t help but think that God views our infatuation with short-term dating relationships much as I did my brother’s love for a worthless box. A string of uncommitted dating relationships is not the gift! God gives us singleness—a season of our lives unmatched in its boundless opportunities for growth, learning, and service—and we view it as a chance to get bogged down in finding and keeping boyfriends and girlfriends. But we don’t find the real beauty of singleness in pursuing romance with as many different people as we want. We find the real beauty in using our freedom to serve God with abandon.
Dating causes dissatisfaction because it encourages a wrong use of this freedom. God has placed a desire in most men and women for marriage. Although we don’t sin when we look forward to marriage, we might be guilty of poor stewardship of our singleness when we allow a desire for something God obviously doesn’t have for us yet to rob our ability to enjoy and appreciate what He has given us. Dating plays a role in fostering this dissatisfaction because it gives single people just enough intimacy to make them wish they had more. Instead of enjoying the unique qualities of singleness, dating causes people to focus on what they don’t have.
7. Dating creates an artificial environment for evaluating another person’s character
Although most dating relationships don’t head toward marriage, some—especially those among older, college-age students—are motivated by marriage. People who sincerely want to find out if someone is potential marriage material need to understand that typical dating actually hinders that process. Dating creates an artificial environment for two people to interact. As a result, each person can easily convey an equally artificial image.
In the driveway of our house we have a basketball hoop that we can adjust to different heights. When I lower the hoop three feet from its normal setting, I can look like a pretty good basketball player. Dunking is no problem. I glide across the pavement and slam the ball down every time. But my “skill” exists only because I’ve lowered the standards-—I’m not playing in a real environment. Put me on a court with a ten-foot hoop, and I’m back to being a white boy who can’t jump.
In a similar way, dating creates an artificial environment that doesn’t demand a person to accurately portray his or her positive and negative characteristics. On a date, a person can charm his or her way into a date’s heart. He drives a nice car and pays for everything; she looks great. But who cares? Being fun on a date doesn’t say anything about a person’s character or ability to be a good husband or wife.
Part of the reason dating is fun is that it gives us a break from real life. For this reason, when I’m married I plan to make a habit of dating my wife. In marriage, you need to take breaks from the stress of kids and work; you need to just get away for a bit. But two people weighing the possibility of marriage need to make sure they don’t just interact within the fun, romantic settings of dating. Their priority shouldn’t be to get away from real life; they need a strong dose of objective reality! They need to see each other in the real-life settings of family and friends. They need to watch each other serving and working. How does he interact with the people who know him best? How does she react when things don’t go perfectly? When considering a potential mate, we need to find the answers to these kinds of questions—questions that dating won’t answer.
OLD HABITS DIE HARD
The seven habits of highly defective dating reveal that we can’t fix many of dating’s problems by merely “dating fight.” I believe that dating has dangerous tendencies that don’t go away just because Christians do the steering. And even those Christians who can avoid the major pitfalls of premarital sex and traumatic breakups often spend much of their energy wrestling with temptation.
If you’ve dated, this probably sounds familiar to you. I think that for too long we’ve approached relationships using the world’s mind-set and values, and if you’ve tried it, you might agree with me that it just doesn’t work. Let’s not waste any more time battling the swerving cart of dating. It’s time for a new attitude.
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Tuesday, October 21, 2008
For those who have been praying..thanks
my colleague Anne, texted me just this afternoon and asked if I wanted to take a walk at the nearby park in the evening. We did that a few times last year. Unfortunately, i was giving tuition and could not make it. I did suggest that we should meet up soon to catch up, after her exams. And she said okay.
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Monday, October 20, 2008
Memory worthy
Isaiah 55: 8-9
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
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For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
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building steps
went bible shopping
appreciate time alone
cookie is an ectomorph
Sarprino's pizza is yucky.
new laptop has not arrived
I love the sound of my guitar
Wow!I am P7 but I don't want.
I have too many books to read!
Brave me had bubble tea @ 9p.m.
car drinks petrol like I drink water
no more big ticket items besides Ozzie Trip.
bro read the bible before he slept last nite :))))))
glaze donut craving finally satisfied after 2 months??
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appreciate time alone
cookie is an ectomorph
Sarprino's pizza is yucky.
new laptop has not arrived
I love the sound of my guitar
Wow!I am P7 but I don't want.
I have too many books to read!
Brave me had bubble tea @ 9p.m.
car drinks petrol like I drink water
no more big ticket items besides Ozzie Trip.
bro read the bible before he slept last nite :))))))
glaze donut craving finally satisfied after 2 months??
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Reminder: Fix eyes on Jesus, the constant.
Had lunch with some Ezer peeps with Rev Yap and Mrs Yap @ the same table. During their chat, the thought came to mind:If homosexuality is not mentioned in the bible, and we still have FCC, would FCC adopt an "open" approach in welcoming/respecting everyone's point of view? Would they have a set of non-negotiables like most of the other churches?
What I am saying is, is the reason why "no one could ever be sure if they interpret the bible correctly" theory because homosexuality is written as something that is wrong in the bible?
Question is: what are the unshakables and immovables? What is the constant that we can hold on to? What is the core that we believe in, that every christian in the church of Jesus Christ agrees on? I pray for God's revelation someday soon.
I enjoyed the worship today. Every song was ministering, especially the last song that was sung.
You are so beautiful,
there is none that compares to You,
who can take my brokeness
and make something new, only You,
Merciful Father
there is none that compares to You
who can take my bitterness
and make something sweet, only You
You're beautiful to me.
You'll be my song for all eternity.
You're overtaking every part of me.
You're beautiful to me.
Indeed, Jesus is beautiful and sometimes, I feel that He consumes all of my heart and soul. That is such a mind-blowing feeling.
It's quite funny. Sometimes, I feel that I am so absorbed with God and the things of God, that I worry I might not be able to fit into the "real" world where they have "real" conversations. Amazingly, when I come out from the holy of holies, I feel more confident, more secure, more settled, and wiser.
I was just sharing with a friend how i feel transformed after an extensive time of worshipping the Lord. And though the transformation is intangible and immeasurable, I really do feel changed. I know there is at least one verse in the bible explaining this but I am lazy to find out which.
I want to start writing my own love songs to Jesus too.
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What I am saying is, is the reason why "no one could ever be sure if they interpret the bible correctly" theory because homosexuality is written as something that is wrong in the bible?
Question is: what are the unshakables and immovables? What is the constant that we can hold on to? What is the core that we believe in, that every christian in the church of Jesus Christ agrees on? I pray for God's revelation someday soon.
I enjoyed the worship today. Every song was ministering, especially the last song that was sung.
You are so beautiful,
there is none that compares to You,
who can take my brokeness
and make something new, only You,
Merciful Father
there is none that compares to You
who can take my bitterness
and make something sweet, only You
You're beautiful to me.
You'll be my song for all eternity.
You're overtaking every part of me.
You're beautiful to me.
Indeed, Jesus is beautiful and sometimes, I feel that He consumes all of my heart and soul. That is such a mind-blowing feeling.
It's quite funny. Sometimes, I feel that I am so absorbed with God and the things of God, that I worry I might not be able to fit into the "real" world where they have "real" conversations. Amazingly, when I come out from the holy of holies, I feel more confident, more secure, more settled, and wiser.
I was just sharing with a friend how i feel transformed after an extensive time of worshipping the Lord. And though the transformation is intangible and immeasurable, I really do feel changed. I know there is at least one verse in the bible explaining this but I am lazy to find out which.
I want to start writing my own love songs to Jesus too.
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Friday, October 17, 2008
God is a God of SO MUCH MORE!
I was pleasantly surprised when I my friend told me that she enjoys reading what I write in my blog. I decided to read back on what I had written so I could feel good about myself. :P
As I was going through the entries that I had written earlier, I realised that the issues that I had been concerned about, also in the area of work, have all unfolded very nicely, and to count down, I am just left with the Graduation night. I really thank God not just for sustaining me through these few months, but he exceeded my expectations by blessing me with much more than just "completing" the projects. He helped me finish well. He is a God of so much more! :)
His track record in my life is amazing.
I am still hungry. And I got a craving for that pastry. The one with the raisins. HUNGRYYYYYYYYY.
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As I was going through the entries that I had written earlier, I realised that the issues that I had been concerned about, also in the area of work, have all unfolded very nicely, and to count down, I am just left with the Graduation night. I really thank God not just for sustaining me through these few months, but he exceeded my expectations by blessing me with much more than just "completing" the projects. He helped me finish well. He is a God of so much more! :)
His track record in my life is amazing.
I am still hungry. And I got a craving for that pastry. The one with the raisins. HUNGRYYYYYYYYY.
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reconciliation needed
I have an issue with my colleague/fellow covenantal/best friend @ work.
I sensed that the distance between us is further this year. I have no idea why. I can fanthom a few guesses but I really wouldn't know till I ask her. And I will, soon, because I don't like the uneasy feeling inside of me. It's just irkish. I need to resolve this. Yes, I do need to resolve conflicts and situations when I am ready to do that in a non-aggressive way.
So why?
She might be disappointed with me that I have not been spending as much time hearing her out because our free periods clash and we don't see other at the staff room that much?
She takes an interest in my life yet I can't reveal more to her about what I do with my time and she is sad that I am being too private and not sharing my life with her. How to? When she makes fun of ," Yeeks. I am not a lesbian. I am married" statements. Her mind is very straight. Just one way. I can't share with her, as yet.
She is at her sexual peak @ 36-38 years old and she can't share with a single, unmarried woman like me about her desire for more sex?
I took over her as the English Level Rep and though she is supposed to assist me, she might be pissed that she is doing more than she should because she is super efficient?
I gave her slightly more duties than the rest (I only realised it a week ago though the duty list was given out a month ago) for Graduation Night since she is not going to be around on the actual day to handle the situation. I only realised that she is aware of that when I saw the expression on her face when I asked her," Why didn't you bring it up to me?" and she replied that she thought I was punishing her for not being around on the actual day. Sigh. Must talk. Should not keep inside, and worse, tell outside.
She has been too busy because her son was taking the PSLE this year, and she has this course and this duty and that duty and assignments to hand in.
So many reasons.
I always see her as a role model for me to follow in terms of her dedication to work and her students, as well as her effectiveness as a teacher and her efficiency as a worker. She's the superwoman. However, I do think she needs to work on what is inside. She needs to learn to hold her tongue, she needs to be reminded that God is her help, refuge and security and that she need not have to prove anything to anyone, that she need not feel threatened nor insecure because she is pleasing God when she does the things she does, not men.
Though I am not able to give as much time to our friendship even after the talk, I do wish to find out what is wrong and at least not have that distance between us.
Please pray for wisdom for me in handling this situation. Her name is Anne. Thanks.
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I sensed that the distance between us is further this year. I have no idea why. I can fanthom a few guesses but I really wouldn't know till I ask her. And I will, soon, because I don't like the uneasy feeling inside of me. It's just irkish. I need to resolve this. Yes, I do need to resolve conflicts and situations when I am ready to do that in a non-aggressive way.
So why?
She might be disappointed with me that I have not been spending as much time hearing her out because our free periods clash and we don't see other at the staff room that much?
She takes an interest in my life yet I can't reveal more to her about what I do with my time and she is sad that I am being too private and not sharing my life with her. How to? When she makes fun of ," Yeeks. I am not a lesbian. I am married" statements. Her mind is very straight. Just one way. I can't share with her, as yet.
She is at her sexual peak @ 36-38 years old and she can't share with a single, unmarried woman like me about her desire for more sex?
I took over her as the English Level Rep and though she is supposed to assist me, she might be pissed that she is doing more than she should because she is super efficient?
I gave her slightly more duties than the rest (I only realised it a week ago though the duty list was given out a month ago) for Graduation Night since she is not going to be around on the actual day to handle the situation. I only realised that she is aware of that when I saw the expression on her face when I asked her," Why didn't you bring it up to me?" and she replied that she thought I was punishing her for not being around on the actual day. Sigh. Must talk. Should not keep inside, and worse, tell outside.
She has been too busy because her son was taking the PSLE this year, and she has this course and this duty and that duty and assignments to hand in.
So many reasons.
I always see her as a role model for me to follow in terms of her dedication to work and her students, as well as her effectiveness as a teacher and her efficiency as a worker. She's the superwoman. However, I do think she needs to work on what is inside. She needs to learn to hold her tongue, she needs to be reminded that God is her help, refuge and security and that she need not have to prove anything to anyone, that she need not feel threatened nor insecure because she is pleasing God when she does the things she does, not men.
Though I am not able to give as much time to our friendship even after the talk, I do wish to find out what is wrong and at least not have that distance between us.
Please pray for wisdom for me in handling this situation. Her name is Anne. Thanks.
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my gay colleague who gay-bashed
I am a little troubled. I have a colleague whom I suspect is gay. Everyone suspects he is gay too. But he says he has a girlfriend though no one has seen his girlfriend before.
That is not a problem if he is closeted and needs to hide his identity.
What is disturbing is that he shared about his disgust and shock when he visited a gay pub (TAboo) for the first time. ANd he went on and on and on. I feel disturbed hearing him gaybash.
I was sitting beside him with a few colleagues around us. After I heard him speak like that for a while, I turned to my other colleague and participate in a conversation with her instead. I felt so so so uneasy inside.
What would I have done if it was me? I wouldn't have shared about my preference for women. That's for sure. But I wouldn't go gay women bashing too. Sigh. I do feel a bit disappointed. Maybe I was hoping to find someone @ work where I can be out too. But I doubt that is going to happen anytime soon.
I can swear that he is gay, though I wouldn't. So gay. My gaydar beeped the first time I saw him and the beep gets louder the more I get to know him. I doubt I am wrong.
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That is not a problem if he is closeted and needs to hide his identity.
What is disturbing is that he shared about his disgust and shock when he visited a gay pub (TAboo) for the first time. ANd he went on and on and on. I feel disturbed hearing him gaybash.
I was sitting beside him with a few colleagues around us. After I heard him speak like that for a while, I turned to my other colleague and participate in a conversation with her instead. I felt so so so uneasy inside.
What would I have done if it was me? I wouldn't have shared about my preference for women. That's for sure. But I wouldn't go gay women bashing too. Sigh. I do feel a bit disappointed. Maybe I was hoping to find someone @ work where I can be out too. But I doubt that is going to happen anytime soon.
I can swear that he is gay, though I wouldn't. So gay. My gaydar beeped the first time I saw him and the beep gets louder the more I get to know him. I doubt I am wrong.
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some random thoughts to warm up this space
I am blogging at 0050.
Facebook is not safe grounds!
I had wantan noodles for dinner. Yummy.
I am hungry now.
I get to sleep in for an additional 15 minutes tomorrow morning.
I am playing tennis again! Tomorrow! Yay!
Too many bees talk is making me a bit worried.
I just showered and am still in my towel.
I am running isqueeze now but hoping to get the real thing again soon.
I thank God for PLUSH and the gals in PLUSH.
Words are a big turn on!
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Facebook is not safe grounds!
I had wantan noodles for dinner. Yummy.
I am hungry now.
I get to sleep in for an additional 15 minutes tomorrow morning.
I am playing tennis again! Tomorrow! Yay!
Too many bees talk is making me a bit worried.
I just showered and am still in my towel.
I am running isqueeze now but hoping to get the real thing again soon.
I thank God for PLUSH and the gals in PLUSH.
Words are a big turn on!
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Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Today's reading
Today's reading summarised the OT for me. The OT was what made me fall in love with Jesus all over again just last year.
I guess I am just amazed on how God is the God of many chances. He loved His people, and yet they kept failing Him and turning away from Him whenever they were satisfied. Misfortune struck them again, they cried out to God for deliverance and God delivers them, not just a few times, but over and over again.
Maybe that's why we need trials in our lives, so we will keep turning back to Jesus, whom we take for granted when everything is going well. Afterall, he created us because he wants to be in a loving relationship with us, didn't he?
Psalm 78
1 Give ear, O my people, to my teaching;incline your ears to the words of my mouth!
2 I will open my mouth in a parable;I will utter dark sayings from of old,
3 things that we have heard and known,that our fathers have told us.
4 We will not hide them from their children,but tell to the coming generationthe glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might,and the wonders that he has done.
5 He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel,which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children,
6 that the next generation might know them,the children yet unborn,and arise and tell them to their children,
7 so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God,but keep his commandments;
8 and that they should not be like their fathers,a stubborn and rebellious generation,a generation whose heart was not steadfast,whose spirit was not faithful to God.
9 The Ephraimites, armed with the bow,turned back on the day of battle.
10 They did not keep God's covenant,but refused to walk according to his law.
11 They forgot his worksand the wonders that he had shown them.
12 In the sight of their fathers he performed wonders in the land of Egypt, in the fields of Zoan.
13 He divided the sea and let them pass through it,and made the waters stand like a heap.
14 In the daytime he led them with a cloud,and all the night with a fiery light.
15 He split rocks in the wilderness and gave them drink abundantly as from the deep.
16 He made streams come out of the rockand caused waters to flow down like rivers.
17 Yet they sinned still more against him,rebelling against the Most High in the desert.
18 They tested God in their heartby demanding the food they craved.
19 They spoke against God, saying,“Can God spread a table in the wilderness?
20 He struck the rock so that water gushed outand streams overflowed.Can he also give breador provide meat for his people?”
21 Therefore, when the Lord heard, he was full of wrath;a fire was kindled against Jacob;his anger rose against Israel,
22 because they did not believe in Godand did not trust his saving power.
23 Yet he commanded the skies above and opened the doors of heaven,
24 and he rained down on them manna to eat and gave them the grain of heaven.
25 Man ate of the bread of the angels;he sent them food in abundance.
26 He caused the east wind to blow in the heavens,and by his power he led out the south wind;
27 he rained meat on them like dust,winged birds like the sand of the seas;
28 he let them fall in the midst of their camp,all around their dwellings.
29 And they ate and were well filled,for he gave them what they craved.
30 But before they had satisfied their craving,while the food was still in their mouths,
31 the anger of God rose against them,and he killed the strongest of them and laid low the young men of Israel.
32 In spite of all this, they still sinned;despite his wonders, they did not believe.
33 So he made their days vanish like a breath, and their years in terror.
34 When he killed them, they sought him;they repented and sought God earnestly.35 They remembered that God was their rock,the Most High God their redeemer.
36 But they flattered him with their mouths;they lied to him with their tongues.
37 Their heart was not steadfast toward him;they were not faithful to his covenant.
38 Yet he, being compassionate, atoned for their iniquity and did not destroy them;he restrained his anger oftenand did not stir up all his wrath.
39 He remembered that they were but flesh, a wind that passes and comes not again.
40 How often they rebelled against him in the wilderness and grieved him in the desert!
41 They tested God again and again and provoked the Holy One of Israel.
42 They did not remember his power or the day when he redeemed them from the foe,
43 when he performed his signs in Egypt and his marvels in the fields of Zoan.
44 He turned their rivers to blood,so that they could not drink of their streams.
45 He sent among them swarms of flies, which devoured them,and frogs, which destroyed them.
46 He gave their crops to the destroying locust and the fruit of their labor to the locust.
47 He destroyed their vines with hail and their sycamores with frost.
48 He gave over their cattle to the hail and their flocks to thunderbolts.
49 He let loose on them his burning anger,wrath, indignation, and distress,a company of destroying angels.
50 He made a path for his anger;he did not spare them from death,but gave their lives over to the plague.
51 He struck down every firstborn in Egypt,the firstfruits of their strength in the tents of Ham.
52 Then he led out his people like sheep and guided them in the wilderness like a flock.
53 He led them in safety, so that they were not afraid,but the sea overwhelmed their enemies.
54 And he brought them to his holy land,to the mountain which his right hand had won.
55 He drove out nations before them;he apportioned them for a possession and settled the tribes of Israel in their tents.
56 Yet they tested and rebelled against the Most High Godand did not keep his testimonies,
57 but turned away and acted treacherously like their fathers;they twisted like a deceitful bow.
58 For they provoked him to anger with their high places;they moved him to jealousy with their idols.59 When God heard, he was full of wrath,and he utterly rejected Israel.
60 He forsook his dwelling at Shiloh,the tent where he dwelt among mankind,
61 and delivered his power to captivity,his glory to the hand of the foe.
62 He gave his people over to the sword and vented his wrath on his heritage.
63 Fire devoured their young men,and their young women had no marriage song.
64 Their priests fell by the sword,and their widows made no lamentation.
65 Then the Lord awoke as from sleep,like a strong man shouting because of wine.
66 And he put his adversaries to rout;he put them to everlasting shame.
67 He rejected the tent of Joseph;he did not choose the tribe of Ephraim,
68 but he chose the tribe of Judah,Mount Zion, which he loves.
69 He built his sanctuary like the high heavens,like the earth, which he has founded forever.
70 He chose David his servant and took him from the sheepfolds;
71 from following the nursing ewes he brought him to shepherd Jacob his people,Israel his inheritance.
72 With upright heart he shepherded them and guided them with his skillful hand.
My personal goal for this coming holiday: Finish reading the OT from back to back.
.
I guess I am just amazed on how God is the God of many chances. He loved His people, and yet they kept failing Him and turning away from Him whenever they were satisfied. Misfortune struck them again, they cried out to God for deliverance and God delivers them, not just a few times, but over and over again.
Maybe that's why we need trials in our lives, so we will keep turning back to Jesus, whom we take for granted when everything is going well. Afterall, he created us because he wants to be in a loving relationship with us, didn't he?
Psalm 78
1 Give ear, O my people, to my teaching;incline your ears to the words of my mouth!
2 I will open my mouth in a parable;I will utter dark sayings from of old,
3 things that we have heard and known,that our fathers have told us.
4 We will not hide them from their children,but tell to the coming generationthe glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might,and the wonders that he has done.
5 He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel,which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children,
6 that the next generation might know them,the children yet unborn,and arise and tell them to their children,
7 so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God,but keep his commandments;
8 and that they should not be like their fathers,a stubborn and rebellious generation,a generation whose heart was not steadfast,whose spirit was not faithful to God.
9 The Ephraimites, armed with the bow,turned back on the day of battle.
10 They did not keep God's covenant,but refused to walk according to his law.
11 They forgot his worksand the wonders that he had shown them.
12 In the sight of their fathers he performed wonders in the land of Egypt, in the fields of Zoan.
13 He divided the sea and let them pass through it,and made the waters stand like a heap.
14 In the daytime he led them with a cloud,and all the night with a fiery light.
15 He split rocks in the wilderness and gave them drink abundantly as from the deep.
16 He made streams come out of the rockand caused waters to flow down like rivers.
17 Yet they sinned still more against him,rebelling against the Most High in the desert.
18 They tested God in their heartby demanding the food they craved.
19 They spoke against God, saying,“Can God spread a table in the wilderness?
20 He struck the rock so that water gushed outand streams overflowed.Can he also give breador provide meat for his people?”
21 Therefore, when the Lord heard, he was full of wrath;a fire was kindled against Jacob;his anger rose against Israel,
22 because they did not believe in Godand did not trust his saving power.
23 Yet he commanded the skies above and opened the doors of heaven,
24 and he rained down on them manna to eat and gave them the grain of heaven.
25 Man ate of the bread of the angels;he sent them food in abundance.
26 He caused the east wind to blow in the heavens,and by his power he led out the south wind;
27 he rained meat on them like dust,winged birds like the sand of the seas;
28 he let them fall in the midst of their camp,all around their dwellings.
29 And they ate and were well filled,for he gave them what they craved.
30 But before they had satisfied their craving,while the food was still in their mouths,
31 the anger of God rose against them,and he killed the strongest of them and laid low the young men of Israel.
32 In spite of all this, they still sinned;despite his wonders, they did not believe.
33 So he made their days vanish like a breath, and their years in terror.
34 When he killed them, they sought him;they repented and sought God earnestly.35 They remembered that God was their rock,the Most High God their redeemer.
36 But they flattered him with their mouths;they lied to him with their tongues.
37 Their heart was not steadfast toward him;they were not faithful to his covenant.
38 Yet he, being compassionate, atoned for their iniquity and did not destroy them;he restrained his anger oftenand did not stir up all his wrath.
39 He remembered that they were but flesh, a wind that passes and comes not again.
40 How often they rebelled against him in the wilderness and grieved him in the desert!
41 They tested God again and again and provoked the Holy One of Israel.
42 They did not remember his power or the day when he redeemed them from the foe,
43 when he performed his signs in Egypt and his marvels in the fields of Zoan.
44 He turned their rivers to blood,so that they could not drink of their streams.
45 He sent among them swarms of flies, which devoured them,and frogs, which destroyed them.
46 He gave their crops to the destroying locust and the fruit of their labor to the locust.
47 He destroyed their vines with hail and their sycamores with frost.
48 He gave over their cattle to the hail and their flocks to thunderbolts.
49 He let loose on them his burning anger,wrath, indignation, and distress,a company of destroying angels.
50 He made a path for his anger;he did not spare them from death,but gave their lives over to the plague.
51 He struck down every firstborn in Egypt,the firstfruits of their strength in the tents of Ham.
52 Then he led out his people like sheep and guided them in the wilderness like a flock.
53 He led them in safety, so that they were not afraid,but the sea overwhelmed their enemies.
54 And he brought them to his holy land,to the mountain which his right hand had won.
55 He drove out nations before them;he apportioned them for a possession and settled the tribes of Israel in their tents.
56 Yet they tested and rebelled against the Most High Godand did not keep his testimonies,
57 but turned away and acted treacherously like their fathers;they twisted like a deceitful bow.
58 For they provoked him to anger with their high places;they moved him to jealousy with their idols.59 When God heard, he was full of wrath,and he utterly rejected Israel.
60 He forsook his dwelling at Shiloh,the tent where he dwelt among mankind,
61 and delivered his power to captivity,his glory to the hand of the foe.
62 He gave his people over to the sword and vented his wrath on his heritage.
63 Fire devoured their young men,and their young women had no marriage song.
64 Their priests fell by the sword,and their widows made no lamentation.
65 Then the Lord awoke as from sleep,like a strong man shouting because of wine.
66 And he put his adversaries to rout;he put them to everlasting shame.
67 He rejected the tent of Joseph;he did not choose the tribe of Ephraim,
68 but he chose the tribe of Judah,Mount Zion, which he loves.
69 He built his sanctuary like the high heavens,like the earth, which he has founded forever.
70 He chose David his servant and took him from the sheepfolds;
71 from following the nursing ewes he brought him to shepherd Jacob his people,Israel his inheritance.
72 With upright heart he shepherded them and guided them with his skillful hand.
My personal goal for this coming holiday: Finish reading the OT from back to back.
.
Monday, October 13, 2008
something sweet for the night
These two are such a lovely couple. My heart ached a bit when I see them together.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yg9Czthp7nI&feature=related
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yg9Czthp7nI&feature=related
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something funnee
I read this today:
What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is using a feather
Kinky is using a chicken
heehee. I thought that was pretty funny.
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What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is using a feather
Kinky is using a chicken
heehee. I thought that was pretty funny.
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fruitful day
*meeting with a few women leaders in FCC * Stewardship * Church* Wonderful songs for worship * Socialise with new peeps* Stewardship * Lunch with Ezer Peeps * Coffee & Cake w Ezer peeps to celebrate Z's bday * Great sharing session * Funny women * Cute looking waitress @ Siglap CoffeeClub* Missions Team Meeting * Facial turned full body massage * Sore shoulders * Passed E(who was conveniently next door) some sweets * Came home to an available laptop *
JJ asked me how my day was. I told her the above. She said it sounded like her activities for the week. Told you today's fruitful. Plus I can remember the lyrics to Where We Belong already. :)
Time to sleep.
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JJ asked me how my day was. I told her the above. She said it sounded like her activities for the week. Told you today's fruitful. Plus I can remember the lyrics to Where We Belong already. :)
Time to sleep.
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Sunday, October 12, 2008
on repeat mode
we sang this at fcc once. It's a great song. I wanted to sing along so much in the car today that I was trying to read and remember the lyrics everytime I stop at the lights. :) I thank God for anointed songwriters/musicians!
I get goosebumps when I see them worshipping God. I am touched! It's amazing to see people all over the world worship the same God, isn't it?
Where We Belong - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WctTTVASzYM
There is no height or depth
neither life nor death
That can take me from all that I find
Here now in Your glory Lord
No other powers or love
The things of now or to come
There's nothing on earth in this life
That could ever separate us Lord
Your love is never ending
To Your hands we surrender
Where all our sins are washed away
Your grace beyond reason
Has paid for our freedom
We're made alive in You
We run to Your throne
Where we belong
Every heart will sing
That Jesus is Lord
Casting all else aside
For the joy of our Christ
Let Your glory fall
Our hearts are filled with Your fire
Romans 8:38-39
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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I get goosebumps when I see them worshipping God. I am touched! It's amazing to see people all over the world worship the same God, isn't it?
Where We Belong - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WctTTVASzYM
There is no height or depth
neither life nor death
That can take me from all that I find
Here now in Your glory Lord
No other powers or love
The things of now or to come
There's nothing on earth in this life
That could ever separate us Lord
Your love is never ending
To Your hands we surrender
Where all our sins are washed away
Your grace beyond reason
Has paid for our freedom
We're made alive in You
We run to Your throne
Where we belong
Every heart will sing
That Jesus is Lord
Casting all else aside
For the joy of our Christ
Let Your glory fall
Our hearts are filled with Your fire
Romans 8:38-39
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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Saturday, October 11, 2008
updates
this is too cute. I checked my ipod again, wanting to plug the charger into a different socket to see if the ipod or adapter is spoilt. When I pulled the adapter out, i realised that it was my usb adapter that was plugged into the ipod, and both my ipod and adapter are actually working fine. I was almost sure that I didn't plug in wrongly. Maybe it's God. Yay. My ipod is still alive. :)
Another addition to Murphy's Law: When you avoid a place so that you can avoid meeting a certain person, you will meet the person in the next place you go to.
I jammed with N. It has been such a long while since we last jammed that I had forgotten how nice it felt. It is good for the soul. lovely.
YM helped me/my dad shop for a labtop online. That was very useful. Thanks babe! :)
I managed to read 3 chapters (from 2 books) @ home. That's quite a miracle. Heh.
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Another addition to Murphy's Law: When you avoid a place so that you can avoid meeting a certain person, you will meet the person in the next place you go to.
I jammed with N. It has been such a long while since we last jammed that I had forgotten how nice it felt. It is good for the soul. lovely.
YM helped me/my dad shop for a labtop online. That was very useful. Thanks babe! :)
I managed to read 3 chapters (from 2 books) @ home. That's quite a miracle. Heh.
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IDT
I guess what is really good about IDT is that throughout the 2 years, the course focuses on the importance of working on our inner lives. I have really grown to be more aware about how important it is to start the transformation from within before there will be any outward changes and benefits.
Build to last.
IDT is God's idea.
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Build to last.
IDT is God's idea.
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Friendship - the gift of time and acceptance
so what the gals were doing last night belongs to the E part of what I learnt during IDT last night; engineering and enjoying time together.
Yesterday's session was on Mentoring the new community. Pastor Chung Kai, the pastor with the best sense of humour in Covenant, told us that the key word in yesterday's session is friendship, that a fruitful mentoring relationship boils down to the friendship. It starts on the basis of friendship and continues to build on that.
the 5 vital ingredients for fruitful mentoring in community:
A - Accountability (Setting a culture of keeping one another accountable in a gracious yet growing environment and that includes sms-ing someone to notify them about your absence and why you are absent)
B - Belief (People who goes for CG must believe that God wants and is able to change us, else we will just be going through the motion of going for CG)
C- Critical Mass of a "certain" kind (We need a core group of people to create a certain kind of culture. I am looking at people whose hearts are after the things of God and who wants to make a positive change firstly in their own lives, and then in the lives of others)
D- Divine Appointments (there are no accidents! Everything that happens in the CG members' lives are there as an opportunity for the CG to show love, care and grace)
E- Engineering and enjoying time together (which is what we have been doing in PLUSH) :)
I guess my desire and prayer for PLUSH is that over time, we will come to know one another beyond the superficial things of life and open up on a deeper level where we can help support one another, love and care for one another, growing in grace and godliness.
.
Yesterday's session was on Mentoring the new community. Pastor Chung Kai, the pastor with the best sense of humour in Covenant, told us that the key word in yesterday's session is friendship, that a fruitful mentoring relationship boils down to the friendship. It starts on the basis of friendship and continues to build on that.
the 5 vital ingredients for fruitful mentoring in community:
A - Accountability (Setting a culture of keeping one another accountable in a gracious yet growing environment and that includes sms-ing someone to notify them about your absence and why you are absent)
B - Belief (People who goes for CG must believe that God wants and is able to change us, else we will just be going through the motion of going for CG)
C- Critical Mass of a "certain" kind (We need a core group of people to create a certain kind of culture. I am looking at people whose hearts are after the things of God and who wants to make a positive change firstly in their own lives, and then in the lives of others)
D- Divine Appointments (there are no accidents! Everything that happens in the CG members' lives are there as an opportunity for the CG to show love, care and grace)
E- Engineering and enjoying time together (which is what we have been doing in PLUSH) :)
I guess my desire and prayer for PLUSH is that over time, we will come to know one another beyond the superficial things of life and open up on a deeper level where we can help support one another, love and care for one another, growing in grace and godliness.
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14 is the final number, I think.
blackberry was crowded last night. a group of IJ gals was having a gathering of sorts, and all 10 of us had to make do with the area at the back until they left. Went for supper. Good old Bak Ku Teh @ Muhd Sultan. The soup was rather diluted though. Disappointing.
I think we have warmed up enough with all the naughty questions that had been going around in the group the past few times we were at BB. I do not think it's a bad thing, though I feel a little uncomfortable that some of the things that were shared might be a stumbling block to some. For me, I enjoyed myself tremendously every time though I feel sometimes I should keep a tighter rein on my tongue. I am also looking forward to more substantial discussions now that we "know" one another much better. :)
Maybe we should come up with questions like " Which is your favourite book in the bible?" "Who is your favourite character in the bible?" Heehee.
I am listening to ASH now, on my MD player. Soooo catchy. I like! I love this song!
Let It Flow - ASH
Here she comes walking across the sand
She'll never know how she blows my mind
She sets off the chemicals in my brain
Spinning softly round my head
I'm gonna give in, I'll never change my mind
I feel it now, tonight is the night
But why should I try to resist
When it's calling out to me
Calling out to me
She's blowing my mind
She's always blowing my mind
The autumn and the winter have been and gone
Half the time I never knew what was wrong
I never noticed I was feeling down
It just went day by day
She'll never know how she turned it round
She'll never know how she blows my mind
It was a long time coming to me
I'm gonna outshine every star
She's blowing my mind
She's always blowing my mind
I won't be able to help myself
Falling in love with her
I have all the time in the world
The answer was always there
Why should I try to resist
When it's calling out to me
She can take my heart or pay the price
She's the sweetest thing I've ever known
Here she comes walking across the sand
She'll never know how she blows my mind
She sets off the chemicals in my brain
Spinning softly round my head I'm gonna give in,
I'll never change my mind I feel it now, tonight is the night
And why should I try to resist
When it's calling out to me
Calling out to me
She's blowing my mind
She's always blowing my mind
.
I think we have warmed up enough with all the naughty questions that had been going around in the group the past few times we were at BB. I do not think it's a bad thing, though I feel a little uncomfortable that some of the things that were shared might be a stumbling block to some. For me, I enjoyed myself tremendously every time though I feel sometimes I should keep a tighter rein on my tongue. I am also looking forward to more substantial discussions now that we "know" one another much better. :)
Maybe we should come up with questions like " Which is your favourite book in the bible?" "Who is your favourite character in the bible?" Heehee.
I am listening to ASH now, on my MD player. Soooo catchy. I like! I love this song!
Let It Flow - ASH
Here she comes walking across the sand
She'll never know how she blows my mind
She sets off the chemicals in my brain
Spinning softly round my head
I'm gonna give in, I'll never change my mind
I feel it now, tonight is the night
But why should I try to resist
When it's calling out to me
Calling out to me
She's blowing my mind
She's always blowing my mind
The autumn and the winter have been and gone
Half the time I never knew what was wrong
I never noticed I was feeling down
It just went day by day
She'll never know how she turned it round
She'll never know how she blows my mind
It was a long time coming to me
I'm gonna outshine every star
She's blowing my mind
She's always blowing my mind
I won't be able to help myself
Falling in love with her
I have all the time in the world
The answer was always there
Why should I try to resist
When it's calling out to me
She can take my heart or pay the price
She's the sweetest thing I've ever known
Here she comes walking across the sand
She'll never know how she blows my mind
She sets off the chemicals in my brain
Spinning softly round my head I'm gonna give in,
I'll never change my mind I feel it now, tonight is the night
And why should I try to resist
When it's calling out to me
Calling out to me
She's blowing my mind
She's always blowing my mind
.
what is a bit worrying...
is that my ipod is not charging at all. Sigh. I prolly shouldn't complain since it has lasted me 4 years. I have always loved the old Ipod range; white and white. Mine belongs to Generation 4, where there was no colour screen yet. The new ones are too... slim.
Apple is quite smart actually. They stopped asking me to renew my warranty. Over the past 4 years, i have replaced my Ipod thrice, getting either a refurbished or brand new one. For the second hand rate of $380 I paid for the ipod, I think I am prepared to let it go RIP.
.
Apple is quite smart actually. They stopped asking me to renew my warranty. Over the past 4 years, i have replaced my Ipod thrice, getting either a refurbished or brand new one. For the second hand rate of $380 I paid for the ipod, I think I am prepared to let it go RIP.
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Thursday, October 9, 2008
bits and pieces.
I am basking in the joy of the Lord. :)
From revelation:
We don't have to do great things for God. He will do great things through us. He only calls us to be faithful with what He entrusts us with.
From Song:
Fall afresh on me
Move within my heart
Let your tenderness consume me
Pour your love on me
Rain upon my face
Till everything I have is lost in your embrace
Fall afresh on me
From bible:
Psalm 72:12-14
For he delivers the needy when he calls, the poor and him who has no helper. He has pity on the weak and the needy, and saves the lives of the needy. From oppression and violence he redeems their life, and precious is their blood in his sight.
Psalm 72:18
Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who alone does wondrous things.
.
From revelation:
We don't have to do great things for God. He will do great things through us. He only calls us to be faithful with what He entrusts us with.
From Song:
Fall afresh on me
Move within my heart
Let your tenderness consume me
Pour your love on me
Rain upon my face
Till everything I have is lost in your embrace
Fall afresh on me
From bible:
Psalm 72:12-14
For he delivers the needy when he calls, the poor and him who has no helper. He has pity on the weak and the needy, and saves the lives of the needy. From oppression and violence he redeems their life, and precious is their blood in his sight.
Psalm 72:18
Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who alone does wondrous things.
.
Soapboxing
I feel irritated because all these happened in the last hour.
-I spent a freaking 40 minutes trying to log on and when I was able to, the laptop lagged.
-My colleague gave some shit about me being not sociable when I told her I couldn't make it for an informal lunch that she organized for the level just yesterday. I already confirmed meeting V for lunch and I definitely prefer meeting V over my colleagues because their talk is not very edifying and productive most of the time, with lots of gossiping and grumbling. Granted, I know I got to be around to bond at times, I do, but there are times where I just feel that I want to be away from them. I get along well with every single one of them and feel close to them in one way or another so I do not see a problem in not hanging around sometimes.
I do have to organize a lunch/hi tea thingy for the entire level next week to “compensate” for my absence today. Afterall, I am overall in charge for the graduation day which the level is anchoring. That is PR-ing.
I guess why I was irritated because her very loud voice resounded over the whole staff room when she said that I am not sociable. What was very disappointing is that she is my churchmate, and supposedly my “best friend” at the work place. I understand that is her nature, to just blurt out whatever she feels. She knows it's a problem too, but it's just disturbing sometimes especially when she tekkans me in her very loud voice, injuring my very fragile heart. I do thank God for the positive self-esteem that He had built in me over the years and that I feel secure in Him, or else I might just turn into a bitter person and bite back. The positive self-esteem protects the heart to a great extent.
-My sister asked me if I could pick her up from Ngee Ann Poly at 5-6p.m. and when I told her 5p.m. she asked if I could come at 545p.m. so she can accompany her friend because her friend has dragonboat training at 630p.m. and she didn't want to let her wait. I already told her I had to give tuition at 6p.m. but she continued to negotiate the time with me. This is a small matter and wouldn’t affect me on normal days but together with what my collegue said, I feel very irritated lor………
And all these came after praying for over an hour this morning. What's up, God? Spiritual Warfare?
Anywayz, in desperation for a word, I asked J what her revelation from God was because under her tagline, she wrote " I have a revelation. Awesome!" she shared this verse with me .
1 Thess 5:16-18
rejoice always, praying without ceasing, and in everything give thanks, for this is the will of the Lord in Christ Jesus for you.
and this:
Giving thanks in the midst of an adverse situation, a difficulty intended to undermine your faith and destroy you, enables you to take hold of that situation and set it apart to God and His purpose.
That is encouragment enough for me. AMEN AMEN AMEN. I feel much much better now. And I thank God for fellow sisters in christ!
On another note, a sweet sweet friend gave me two 4-yolk mooncakes yesterday even though I was supposed to celebrate her bday for/with her. I felt like it was my birthday! :)
Off for lunch and looking forward to an awesome time of fellowship now!
.
-I spent a freaking 40 minutes trying to log on and when I was able to, the laptop lagged.
-My colleague gave some shit about me being not sociable when I told her I couldn't make it for an informal lunch that she organized for the level just yesterday. I already confirmed meeting V for lunch and I definitely prefer meeting V over my colleagues because their talk is not very edifying and productive most of the time, with lots of gossiping and grumbling. Granted, I know I got to be around to bond at times, I do, but there are times where I just feel that I want to be away from them. I get along well with every single one of them and feel close to them in one way or another so I do not see a problem in not hanging around sometimes.
I do have to organize a lunch/hi tea thingy for the entire level next week to “compensate” for my absence today. Afterall, I am overall in charge for the graduation day which the level is anchoring. That is PR-ing.
I guess why I was irritated because her very loud voice resounded over the whole staff room when she said that I am not sociable. What was very disappointing is that she is my churchmate, and supposedly my “best friend” at the work place. I understand that is her nature, to just blurt out whatever she feels. She knows it's a problem too, but it's just disturbing sometimes especially when she tekkans me in her very loud voice, injuring my very fragile heart. I do thank God for the positive self-esteem that He had built in me over the years and that I feel secure in Him, or else I might just turn into a bitter person and bite back. The positive self-esteem protects the heart to a great extent.
-My sister asked me if I could pick her up from Ngee Ann Poly at 5-6p.m. and when I told her 5p.m. she asked if I could come at 545p.m. so she can accompany her friend because her friend has dragonboat training at 630p.m. and she didn't want to let her wait. I already told her I had to give tuition at 6p.m. but she continued to negotiate the time with me. This is a small matter and wouldn’t affect me on normal days but together with what my collegue said, I feel very irritated lor………
And all these came after praying for over an hour this morning. What's up, God? Spiritual Warfare?
Anywayz, in desperation for a word, I asked J what her revelation from God was because under her tagline, she wrote " I have a revelation. Awesome!" she shared this verse with me .
1 Thess 5:16-18
rejoice always, praying without ceasing, and in everything give thanks, for this is the will of the Lord in Christ Jesus for you.
and this:
Giving thanks in the midst of an adverse situation, a difficulty intended to undermine your faith and destroy you, enables you to take hold of that situation and set it apart to God and His purpose.
That is encouragment enough for me. AMEN AMEN AMEN. I feel much much better now. And I thank God for fellow sisters in christ!
On another note, a sweet sweet friend gave me two 4-yolk mooncakes yesterday even though I was supposed to celebrate her bday for/with her. I felt like it was my birthday! :)
Off for lunch and looking forward to an awesome time of fellowship now!
.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
I am loved
How can I keep from singing your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is your love
How can i keep on shouting your praise
I know I am loved by the King, and it makes my heart wanna sing.
I know I am loved by the King, and it makes my heart wanna sing
I am loved by the King and it makes my heart wanna sing.
.
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is your love
How can i keep on shouting your praise
I know I am loved by the King, and it makes my heart wanna sing.
I know I am loved by the King, and it makes my heart wanna sing
I am loved by the King and it makes my heart wanna sing.
.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
the Vodka Series
I have another 2 to add to my collection; Vodka Raspberri & Vodka Kurant, thanks to a dear friend. Red and Purple, 2 memorable colours. :)
Now I have:
Raspberri
Kurant
Vanilla
absolute 100
absolute vodka
mandarin
peach
pear
rubyred
mango
you reckon I can start a bar? :)
.
.
Now I have:
Raspberri
Kurant
Vanilla
absolute 100
absolute vodka
mandarin
peach
pear
rubyred
mango
you reckon I can start a bar? :)
.
.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
what was really exciting was...
the mooncake S passed to me. Yum! But no, the more exciting part is that the topic for IDT tonight is Pioneering a New Community. It is about helping newly formed CG Core Teams to work towards establishing, growing and multiplying the CGs. My attention was on the speaker 100% of the time though I was so sleepy from not getting sufficient last night, and the hour and a half gym session in the afternoon.
It can't get any better. Just after we finished that family talk @ PLUSH and PLUSH is moving ahead, this topic came up. Really divine! Oh so applicable. I feel like God is telling me: now you have understood my heart, I shall give you practical advice on how to move on from here. Real cool erh.
But I am really sleepy now. I shall continue tomorrow.
Signing off at 0030
.
It can't get any better. Just after we finished that family talk @ PLUSH and PLUSH is moving ahead, this topic came up. Really divine! Oh so applicable. I feel like God is telling me: now you have understood my heart, I shall give you practical advice on how to move on from here. Real cool erh.
But I am really sleepy now. I shall continue tomorrow.
Signing off at 0030
.
Friday, October 3, 2008
moolah matters
I got a waiver on that 40 dollars late payment charge and 3 dollars interest charge. Phew. I like Citibank's service.
Ever since I started driving, I have been averaging $70 weekly on fuel. Driving is high expense but oh so convenient. I am just thankful I am paying only half of the monthly installment. While I was driving down to town to pick up my siblings, I thought about how the petrol needle will dip even further closer to the empty line by the time I head home (and I just fuelled up on Sunday). But I feel a sense of warmth as I thought about being to spend just that bit of time with the two of them, and somehow, the cost didn't matter. It was even better that I could spend the journey there just praising the Lord in the car. Priceless.
I have always been amazed how I could still managed to save a certain amount almost every month despite my high expenses most of the time. I can testify that thithing has a great part to play in this. Ever since God placed that conviction in my heart to thith 4 years ago, I never looked back, and God has shown that He is a good God. In that way, I have never "lost" money before.
I am that sort who spends within my means, I try to save about a quarter of what I earn monthly and have no qualms about using the rest for one reason or another.Sometimes, I do wish that I can spend below my means though. But I always believe that money is not that important a thing to me, that money is a means to an end.
Whatever we are given is given by God to us to steward wisely, yet more than that, I know that He wants more than anything for us to yield our heart to Him, because in doing that, we naturally would learn how to best steward our resources; our time, our moolah to what is truly important. When we follow the spirit's leading, we will make the wisest of decisions in all that we do. I am not quite there yet.
we learnt about money management about a year plus back when IDT just started. Basically, there are 4 types of spenders. One who spends above their means, one who spends at their means, one who spends within their means and one who spends below their means.
The ones who spend above their means are those who spend more than what they earn, and they are the kind who often get into credit card debts. The ones who spend at their means live by the month, they spend whatever they earn. The ones who spend within their means save some for the rainy day and spend the rest. The ones below their means spend what they need and save the rest for the rainy day. Ideally, we should spend below our means so when the need arises, we will be able to use our savings appropriately.
Okay. I am bored now. Time to blog about something very exciting.
.
Ever since I started driving, I have been averaging $70 weekly on fuel. Driving is high expense but oh so convenient. I am just thankful I am paying only half of the monthly installment. While I was driving down to town to pick up my siblings, I thought about how the petrol needle will dip even further closer to the empty line by the time I head home (and I just fuelled up on Sunday). But I feel a sense of warmth as I thought about being to spend just that bit of time with the two of them, and somehow, the cost didn't matter. It was even better that I could spend the journey there just praising the Lord in the car. Priceless.
I have always been amazed how I could still managed to save a certain amount almost every month despite my high expenses most of the time. I can testify that thithing has a great part to play in this. Ever since God placed that conviction in my heart to thith 4 years ago, I never looked back, and God has shown that He is a good God. In that way, I have never "lost" money before.
I am that sort who spends within my means, I try to save about a quarter of what I earn monthly and have no qualms about using the rest for one reason or another.Sometimes, I do wish that I can spend below my means though. But I always believe that money is not that important a thing to me, that money is a means to an end.
Whatever we are given is given by God to us to steward wisely, yet more than that, I know that He wants more than anything for us to yield our heart to Him, because in doing that, we naturally would learn how to best steward our resources; our time, our moolah to what is truly important. When we follow the spirit's leading, we will make the wisest of decisions in all that we do. I am not quite there yet.
we learnt about money management about a year plus back when IDT just started. Basically, there are 4 types of spenders. One who spends above their means, one who spends at their means, one who spends within their means and one who spends below their means.
The ones who spend above their means are those who spend more than what they earn, and they are the kind who often get into credit card debts. The ones who spend at their means live by the month, they spend whatever they earn. The ones who spend within their means save some for the rainy day and spend the rest. The ones below their means spend what they need and save the rest for the rainy day. Ideally, we should spend below our means so when the need arises, we will be able to use our savings appropriately.
Okay. I am bored now. Time to blog about something very exciting.
.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Randoms
I just worked for 4 hours! On a public holiday!
THe car alarm was uncontrollable last night! So embarrassing!
I had Heineken on draft and a tequila sunrise!
I forgot it was public holiday today. I wasted $1.50 on parking coupons. Boo!
I have to spend this weekend shopping for some children's day gifts.
Last session next Tuesday for one of my tuition kids. Yay!
My dad asked me to help him get another laptop. Yay for me.
Chocolate has been my very good friend. No good :)
I just wrote another appeal letter for my dad. For illegal parking.
I forgot to pay my Citibank M1 bill again. Need to call to ask for waiver for the late charges. sigh. Again. I prolly should giro.
MD player songs can only be played on the MD player. Sigh!
I shouted at my mum today. :( No good. But she was plain unreasonable! I need more patience!
I am watching ASH in concert tomorrow night! Exciting!
Dug out The Rentals CD and heard it in the car. Awesome music, with what they call a Moog! I like sound distortion!
I am so looking forward to having more time to practise the piano! Yay!
I would like to take a weekend trip soon!
My mission trip to China is quite confirmed from the 12th -21st Dec.
My friend is in Perth for 2 weeks! Envious lor!
I must learn not to be petty about little things! Yep!
One more teaching day. Classroom teaching, that is. Yoohoo! PE will still be on.
Songs on the MD I am listening to:
We wanna see Jesus lifted high!
All heavens declare!
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!
Love song
Reign in me!
.
THe car alarm was uncontrollable last night! So embarrassing!
I had Heineken on draft and a tequila sunrise!
I forgot it was public holiday today. I wasted $1.50 on parking coupons. Boo!
I have to spend this weekend shopping for some children's day gifts.
Last session next Tuesday for one of my tuition kids. Yay!
My dad asked me to help him get another laptop. Yay for me.
Chocolate has been my very good friend. No good :)
I just wrote another appeal letter for my dad. For illegal parking.
I forgot to pay my Citibank M1 bill again. Need to call to ask for waiver for the late charges. sigh. Again. I prolly should giro.
MD player songs can only be played on the MD player. Sigh!
I shouted at my mum today. :( No good. But she was plain unreasonable! I need more patience!
I am watching ASH in concert tomorrow night! Exciting!
Dug out The Rentals CD and heard it in the car. Awesome music, with what they call a Moog! I like sound distortion!
I am so looking forward to having more time to practise the piano! Yay!
I would like to take a weekend trip soon!
My mission trip to China is quite confirmed from the 12th -21st Dec.
My friend is in Perth for 2 weeks! Envious lor!
I must learn not to be petty about little things! Yep!
One more teaching day. Classroom teaching, that is. Yoohoo! PE will still be on.
Songs on the MD I am listening to:
We wanna see Jesus lifted high!
All heavens declare!
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!
Love song
Reign in me!
.
happy children's day :D
I used to like this song a lot when I first heard it, before the singer's high voice got to me, I stopped listening to it after a while. Last week, during IDT, while consecrating the new CGLs and ACGLs to the Lord, we sang this song again.
That song came at a very apt moment, because at that moment in time, I felt like I have no ability to control the situations in my life, particularly when it comes to PLUSH. The song really ministered to me, because it helped me to surrender everything to Him once again.
Yesterday's CG saw a big crowd. God is at work and I am feeling more rested in Him. As before every facilitation, I come before the Lord with fear and trembling, praying that He will use what little I have for His glory and purpose. It helped that my heart was feeling vulnerable, I just offered all that I was feeling up to Him. I am thankful that there was positive feedback at the end of the session.
Facilitating sessions is really not my cup of tea, more so when it comes to bible study. Even though I am a teacher by profession, I feel extremely inadequate when I have to teach during bible study because I don't really study the bible per se and I don't know the bible as well as I would like to. But I guess as in every foreign situation we are placed in, are times when we learn and grow the most, if we have the right stance and attitude to be teachable. I am looking forward to leading worship next week though :). It has been a while.
Blackberry saw 18 gals directly or indirectly linked to FCC. It was an amazing number. I felt very comfortable just sitting at the corner, talking to different people, watching the gals in action at the pool table, talking about personal stuff as we gather in a group, getting to know one another better in the process, outside the context of CG. Great way to start the public holiday.
Back to work again in an hour. Tuition. I am so looking forward to next week. Freedom!
The Potter's Hand - Hillsong
Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Saviour
I know for sure, all of my days are held in your hands,
crafted into your perfect plan
You gently call me into your presence
guiding me by Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord to live all of my life through Your eyes
I'm captured by Your holy calling
Set me apart, I know you're drawing me to yourself
Lead me Lord I pray
Chorus:
Take me, Mould me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
I think I know what songs to sing for worship already next week. Not this. :)
.
That song came at a very apt moment, because at that moment in time, I felt like I have no ability to control the situations in my life, particularly when it comes to PLUSH. The song really ministered to me, because it helped me to surrender everything to Him once again.
Yesterday's CG saw a big crowd. God is at work and I am feeling more rested in Him. As before every facilitation, I come before the Lord with fear and trembling, praying that He will use what little I have for His glory and purpose. It helped that my heart was feeling vulnerable, I just offered all that I was feeling up to Him. I am thankful that there was positive feedback at the end of the session.
Facilitating sessions is really not my cup of tea, more so when it comes to bible study. Even though I am a teacher by profession, I feel extremely inadequate when I have to teach during bible study because I don't really study the bible per se and I don't know the bible as well as I would like to. But I guess as in every foreign situation we are placed in, are times when we learn and grow the most, if we have the right stance and attitude to be teachable. I am looking forward to leading worship next week though :). It has been a while.
Blackberry saw 18 gals directly or indirectly linked to FCC. It was an amazing number. I felt very comfortable just sitting at the corner, talking to different people, watching the gals in action at the pool table, talking about personal stuff as we gather in a group, getting to know one another better in the process, outside the context of CG. Great way to start the public holiday.
Back to work again in an hour. Tuition. I am so looking forward to next week. Freedom!
The Potter's Hand - Hillsong
Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Saviour
I know for sure, all of my days are held in your hands,
crafted into your perfect plan
You gently call me into your presence
guiding me by Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord to live all of my life through Your eyes
I'm captured by Your holy calling
Set me apart, I know you're drawing me to yourself
Lead me Lord I pray
Chorus:
Take me, Mould me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
I think I know what songs to sing for worship already next week. Not this. :)
.
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