auxillary line in

thoughts for the very long Tuesday morning..

was watching a hillsong youtube video and just as Jesus was sent down so we will know God personally, so the role of the worship team is to facilitate a time where the congregation is able to commune with God individually.. the worship leader, the musicians, the instruments, the song, the lyrics, the tune.. all for the purpose of communing with God our Father through praise, worship and adoration.

I love Youtube!
.

this is a hypothesis.

I think I can make a safe generalisation that most single women specialising in PE are lesbians and most single men specialising in music are gays. :p
.

on repeat mode

"Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades"

From the inside out - Hillsong

I think we are called to get ready right now, not when darkness strikes. So that when darkness falls, we are ready to let His light shine through us.


This is an awesome song to worship to...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-afZJ9_TIM

From The Inside Out
Joel Houston
Key: C

Intro:
F C G (3x)
F C


Verse 1:
G F
A thousand times I’ve failed
C G
Still Your mercy remains
F
And should I stumble again
C G
I’m caught in Your grace
Am
Everlasting
F C G
Your light will shine when all else fades
Am
Never ending
F C G F C G F C
Your glory goes beyond all fame


Verse 2:
G F
Your will above all else
C
My purpose remains
G F
The art of losing myself
C G
In bringing You praise
Am
Everlasting
F C G
Your light will shine when all else fades
Am
Never ending
F C G
Your glory goes beyond all fame


Chorus 1:
F C
In my heart and my soul
Am
Lord I give You control
G
Consume me from the inside out
F Am
Lord let justice and praise
G
Become my embrace
Dm
To love You from the inside out (repeat)


Chorus 2:
Am
Everlasting
F C G
Your light will shine when all else fades
Am
Never ending
F C G
Your glory goes beyond all fame
C F
And the cry of my heart
G Am
Is to bring You praise
F G
From the inside out
F G
Lord my soul cries out


Other:
F C Am G F Am G Dm
.

Euro getting weaker against SGD!

Time to go to Europe! :D
.

I don't know how this song came to mind... but it did.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6odg24mQ-10

In the Silence - Hillsong

In the silence of Your majesty,
In the splendor of Your holiness,
In the stillness of Your glory,
Let me hear Your voice,
The gentle whisper of Your voice.

Father, I long to stand before You,
And lay my life before You,
I come to worship You alone, oh my God.
I reach my hands toward You,
With all my heart adore You
Let me hear Your voice.

With the power of Your presence,
And your beauty all around me,
As the heavens stand in awe of You
Let me hear Your voice.
.

Astroboy

as I was driving,

i thought about how unknowingly I had changed to an emptier lane so I would not obstruct the traffic on the faster lane. I thought about how God has kept me safe through the 12 years I have been driving. I imagined angels surrounding my car. Then I thought about the many of His other children that He is watching over too. How is that possible. It is, because He is God.

so amazing, the omnipresence of God our Father.
.

News

How bad is HK's pollution? Even its air quality expert is relocating.

New US$100 bills out next Feb. Maybe it's time to go to the States then! :)
.

SPC Station

I always thought....

that I would adopt another mongrel when Cookie passes on.. But i think I am not going to. Because it hurts too much to watch it die at the end of it all. :(
.

all about balance

i always try to live by what Pastor Ed's said: Nothing to hide, nothing to prove, nothing to lose. I guess it's when we are free from all these that we are free to live. And free to be used by God.

I have not quite arrived at that place. I thought about it differently today though; if having the mindset that I have got nothing to lose causes me to take things for granted and not treasure what I have on hand, then it will be very sad indeed. I reckon that when it comes to people, especially those who have a special place in my heart, that it's better for me to think I might just lose them the next day, then perhaps I will appreciate them more.
.

I learnt 2 new words during tuition

Septuagenarians - elderly people between 70 to 79.

Latitudinarians - People holding or expressing broad or tolerant views, especially in religious matters.
.

Dear God,

You made the skies so pretty. Blue at times, dark grey at other times. The sky is dark grey now. I am amazed.
.

Dear God,

I like to live in a world where people care less about themselves and love others more. I pray this is Jesus name, Amen.
.

that $%^&* guy..

says he loves me for who I am and he will continue to court me. ARGH!!! Even after I tell him I have a gf.

He's totally clueless. I have no choice but to be rude. He still wants to attend FCC. He says for my sake he will insist on attending. ARGH.
.

Dear God,

I would like to look forward to going to work every morning. I ask this in Jesus name, Amen.
.

I did a brave thing

I offered (i offered my sister too. haha) to finance the housing loan for this flat if my dad's contract is not renewed. He will know in September.

It happened on Sunday morning. My brother and I woke at the same time. He asked what the commotion was about early in the morning. (apparently, my sister and my dad had an argument). Lilia said that my dad said not to buy breakfast for my sister and I, that we should buy our own breakfast. The usual practice would be for him/Lilia to buy food for the whole family. I was slightly hurt, but being secure as I am, I was amused too.

I think I didn't respond very positively to his comment a few nights ago.. about the possibility that his company may not renewing his contract. I reached home close to midnight and the living room was dark and I didn't think much about what he commented. He sounded nonchalant anyhowz.. I guess I could be more sensitive and sit down to speak with him some more, but I didn't.

He should have enough to pay off the remaining housing loan with pension/insurance/cpf, but I figured he will appreciate the offer. I am ready to finance the remaining loan (it's gonna be 3000 a month * 5 years. Not looking forward to it though.. and it means I won't be able to get my own place .. but when something needs to be done, it needs to be done..

I am at peace and I think I did the right thing.
.

a coming out (nearly) conversation on msn

I can't believe it. I am in the midst of facilitating a discussion with the guy who repeatedly proposes to me about the bible and homosexuality. I am just waiting for him to ask that question. I just asked if he had any gay tendencies :p

The conversation started when he said he wanted to attend the 2nd church I am attending. So I asked him a few questions about whether he has heard about FCC etc.. that was how the conversation started.
.

surprise? or not?

surprise surprise.. there were 6 new ladies who visited FCC last Sunday and 4 of them are from Covenant. None of them recognised me though. :p Speaks of my involvement (or non-involvment) at Covenant.

It wasn't quite a big surprise because about a month ago, I saw one of them at Covenant and the gaydar sounded. She had long hair and was relatively feminine somemore.. Wow! I must be getting better at spotting PLUs. I do see a few @ Covenant and sometimes, I don't even know if they know that they are not straight. But I reckon it's better they never find out, given that the journey ahead of reconciliation is a tough and ardous one. And I pray that they will never find out if they get married one day!

I am pretty encouraged though that more denominations in the States are recognising same sex relationships.. There needs to be affirmation like that from time to time..
.

a thought

when do I think it's time to move on in a relationship?

I think it is when who you are in a relationship is a more horrible person than who you are when you are single.

I am not sure if I am right. But that's my take for now.
.

that question

I have no idea how many people are stopping themselves from asking me THE question. My guitar teacher knows I am attending FCC. So does this other guy who repeatedly proposes to me. I talk to them openly about FCC but they never asked THAT question. Well, Member of Free Community Church is even on my Facebook information. Quite amusing when I think about it.
.

a gift from God?

I want an apartment.. not in town, not in Bt Timah nor anywhere else.

I think Bugis/ Lavender/ Aljunied is a good place since they are along the East West line, relatively cheap to travel to (without the ERP) and near church. I envision it to be a safehaven for people who just like to come by to hang out and chat. I hope I don't have to work much. Just stay home and talk to people who will come by. Make nice tea/coffee/drinks for them.

This was the second time the thought crossed my mind while I was driving.. I had a strong feeling it will be fulfilled in my lifetime.. I just wonder when it will be..
.

I had another free facial invitation..

by Beaute Hub this time @ Cuppage Plaza. It's a Mesofacial done using the Meso equipment. They said that have another branch at Telok Ayer. They should have asked me to go there because I was meeting F for lunch after that!

So..b Asically, it's electric current passed through the third level of the skin where the collagen is to stimulate it. It's a little scary for me because I have never experienced that. They put very cooling aloe vera on my face and basically ultrasounded my face. Prickly at times. They ended off with a cold mask. Nice...

Plus.. I had a free gift, a set of speakers. :D And I didn't have to fight them off too vigourously. Yay! I think I am getting the hang of rejecting people.

The only cost - $6.24 parking fees.
.

Romans 3

He, the judge, mustn't He be righteous then?
Once the righteousness of Him revealed through the law
then our righteousness through faith through His son

His faithfulness goes beyond the law
redeemed by His grace and love
privileges parallel to the chosen ones
because of His blood.

through wicknessness, his truth shines
through lies, his truth shines
How awesome, the book of law that highlights grace!
.

I wanna.....

stop fretting about the petty things in my teeny weeny world and be more concerned about the bigger and more important matters out there!

I wanna grow up.
.

got this off one of my friend's status update on FB

"Love for God can be measured by the love we show for our worst enemy"

so true.. so very very true.. it is not measured by our fervour for God.. not at all..
.

I shall get the Iphone...

only when my Ipod fails. :D After all, I have one year left to my plan. My "cousin" said the additional $100 bucks was a penalty when she bought an Iphone 3 months short of fulfilling her contract. I told her I see it as a discount they give when we have completed our contract.

Same method.. but perceived differently.. Perspectives perspectives.. so interesting..
.

while worshipping @ Covenant

I was inspired to start writing songs based on what I read from the bible. Yay! I was excited but I don't know if I have the flair and energy for that. But well, my half load is for the sake of renewing, recharging and blah blah blah.. so I should blah blah blah more!

haha..

I made a new friend, the first from South Africa!

And she's really nice. Good conversationalist. Very rare specie. I think she has high EQ too, but that remains to be seen. But I have a gut feel she's someone I can be good friends with. :)

I really do not like to judge the friends that I have. I heard a rather unpleasant conversation with 2 friends that I was out with today. One of them was basically condemning Singaporeans. She was being her usual cynical style, but perhaps course I was PMSsing, I didn't really take too well to her honesty. I mean, before you feel more superior to others, evaluate yourself first lah... Sigh. The right approach is to pray for more of God's love to be in her heart.. so I shall.

Being around negative people can be very energy draining... I also feel lousy after hearing them speak.. I was later blessed with the company of my dear "cousin" whom I have not met for a while. Compared to the two, she was awesome. She just got baptised as a Catholic. Now she's got a funny name. :D.I feel really comfortable with her. Even as I was partnering her for badminton for the first time, I could feel we coordinated well (didn't knock into each other haha..). It's a great evening.
.

sunday sermons

what I learnt from Covenant today:

that it is as important to love Jesus first as it is to serve Him rather than be consumed by ministry alone; Some people can do all the work for God only to find out later in their life they never really had a relationship with God. And some people like to find out all there is about Christianity, only to have this head knowledge remain as head knowledge. I am inspired to once again focus on working on this love relationship all over again.

plus he gave a very good outline of Revelations 2, but bible knowledge is not what works for me. Being able to apply what is written in the bible is.. and taking action to do necessary things is, and I guess it's only conviction and inspiration from God that provides the empowerment to make changes and be transformed.

What I learnt from FCC today:

- that it still feels like family, nice and warm
- that I don't really take to the Gospel of Thomas. Like please lor, we don't even know the bible inside out. And that reminded me to really know the bible inside out so we can make a more discerning decision on what is accurate and what is not. Sure, they are non negative sayings and some of these sayings have good intentions and I do want to widen my knowledge beyond what is written in the bible. However, I do not want to do that just for the sake of doing that. I like to be able to relate all these to the word of God and how it draws application back to my life and the lives of others..
.

it's one of those days...

when I feel really lousy. I think I feel lousy as a teacher today. A few things but none worth remembering. I only need to remember to check my pigeon hole daily from today on. I also need to spend more time on my work. So much for half load. I need to be more focused. Bleah. The good thing is that I managed to speak to 17 parents and they are all so nice and cooperative. So that is good.

I was talking to a colleague just before I left work. He had to come back tomorrow for some Overseas Expedition course. And he (along with a few other p6 teachers) is on duty on Sunday to bring the kids to Mendaki and back 8a.m. - 4p.m. He was asking why he can't do the things that he like. I asked him what he wanted to do. He said sit at Arab St 24/7 and to tour the world to meet new people and experience cliffhanging situations. He is a married man whose wife recently gave birth to their second child.

well, at least this is the first website I log onto upon switching on the laptop, something I resolve to do before I start checking facebook, my 2 hotmail accounts, fridae and channelnewsasia.

Let me read the bible now and see what God says.
.

K2 orientation and a thought

just done with being the tour guide for the K2 kids. I was supposed to lead them around the school. They are pretty cute but no, I don't want to take care of them as a parent. Heh. I chose a few seemingly smarter ones and discreetly brainwashed them into coming to this school. haha.. the pupils in charge of each station can't introduce their station for nuts though! They were reading off the script without making eye contact etc. bLeah. bad bad. Insufficient preparation for them. I wouldn't be too impressed if I were a parent. Maybe I should offer to be in charge of this programme next year.. keke..

Just yesterday, the thought of asking for a P6 class next year came to me out of the blue. I wondered why P6. I thought it is probably because there is more focus on preparation for their PSLE rather than programmes. That is what I like, more teaching. Also, if I won't be teaching the following year, at least it's easier to leave because teaching a P5 class probably means being responsible for them for 2 years. Also, being a P6 teacher also means being offloaded of other duties and tasks. And P6teachers do not have to take a CCA after mid year!

I do not really like to take them at P6 though because taking them from P5 gives me that year to make sure the SOPs are in place so I can fully concentrate on teaching, not disciplining.

I am not totally sure if the thought was from God. But YM did pray during CG the previous night and God always speaks after prayer. So I shall continue to pray to see if that is where I am going next year.
.

on zee weekend that passed.

it was a good weekend @ Bintan. I really wanted to attend service on Easter Sunday but I guess when a dear friend invites you to Bintan Lagoon to celebrate her birthday with her, you can't say no. The SH and I had a chance to go from Thursday evening but she thought she had to work on Saturday so we got the ferry tickets for Saturday.

Though it was just an overnighter (24 hours exactly!), it was a good time of bonding, sharing and playing with the rest. The SH and I managed to steal some time to walk at the beach when we arrived at the villa. It was a lovely blue though the waves were a little too strong for comfort. I like the time where we sat at the pool at the yard of the villa; both our legs in water, just talking. All in all, it was wonderful time spent.

It rained after that! A bummer especially when the beach is so pretty. We were indoors cooking, eating, playing card games and watching telly. Even the BBQ was done at the verandah. I appreciated G being quick thinking and innovative. Really emphasised the point about the roles different ones play. But firstly, we have to be different in order to produce different ones. And that means we have to learn to accept each others' differences especially when they can be strengths too.

There was a factory outlet just beside the ferry terminal. I am sorry I have to say that the things sold there are quite crappy. As if to compensate for the lack of shopping at Bintan, the SH and I went shopping @ Bencoolen area for stuff after we touched down. We initially wanted to get her fragrance because she ran out of it but ended up buying other stuff as well. It was tiring but fun. :)

Great stuff the last weekend!.
.

the E word

so our dates have been consisting of Eating and Exercising. We used to play tennis from time to time and do Yoga on Saturdays but there seemed to be something on every Saturday nowadays. She's a lazy gal so we got started on just walking for about an hour and a half on Monday and walked- a- jogged for about 45 minutes today. That's a good start but I am looking forward to more!

I enjoy the walk because we can catch up and talk during that period of time. We can also share chocolate milk after the exercise! Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

She doesn't fancy jogging though. Me too actually. So we will find another game soon, I reckon.
.

koobits!

I was just looking at my kids after recess, and it was at that instant I felt like I know each and every one of them personally, so much that I feel like they are my kids. I am glad we have that kind of relationship. But it took me about 13 months to get to this stage..

God knows each and every one of us intimately from the moment we are born, even the number of hairs on our head. How wonderful and how awesome is that.

P6 kids waving and smiling at you as you walk past them is a blessing. And I do not take that for granted.
,

the power of the microfilter

so the network at home has been very unstable. I was so pissed after a few days, I called Singtel and complained. I had a good mind to change subscriber. The technical guy managed to pacify me and here is the technical support officer now standing beside me finishing up some stuff after fixing the microfilter on for the modem in my room and the phone in my mum's room.

I apologise for my lack of IT technical skills that he had to travel all the way down to CCK just to give me a microfilter and fix up the 2 microfilters in my house.

heh. But I overheard his conversation on the phone. He has another customer just down the road. So I don't feel so bad.

Thank God for the gifting of different skills and abilities! :0 We seem to be in an ecosystem of our own yet we do not get eaten up! We are used, not wasted! How great is that.
.

virgin ginger wrap experience.

I got a massage/facial package 2 years ago (thank God the biz did not fold up!). I had to finish using the vouchers by end April. One of them had the choice of a detox wrap, a slimming treatment and the ginger detox wrap. I took the one that sounded interesting.

First, I had to change into their really poor taste disposable G-string panty and shower cap, then I had to lie on a large sheet of tracing paper placed on the massage bed. The massage bed felt a nice warm. I think I was lying on some electric blanket/wrap. That lady gave me a good ginger scrub all over and it felt slippery and slimy. Then she wrapped me up in the blanket and zipped the blanket up. I napped for about half an hour and then I was asked to wash up. My skin felt smoother than ever. It was gooooooooooodddd :)

and I am losing my ability to write coherently. ARGH!!!
.

blogging in snippets

and so I came out to the other 3 members in my DG. Over email. 2 have responded positively (love you and accept you as you are, you are still my friend etc etc.) One has said she doesn't agree with my position though. THe other did not say anything but prayed and gave me a verse from Pslams 139:14( You are wonderfully and fearfully made) . I told her that's an encouragement to me actually. ;)
.