The Prime Zone

So for me, there is a point where I feel one with the instrument and with God. That feels like heaven.

I bummed a few notes on Sunday. Before that happened, I was just into worshipping God in spirit. Then for a moment, I was distracted and thought how nice it was to worship God like this with the rest of the band members. THe moment I was out of that worshipping zone, I slipped. Slipped when I took my focus off worshipping Jesus to thinking about how well we were doing as a team. I learnt about moving with the Spirit. When the spirit moves and we move along with Him, only human error can break that flow.

Let me take no pride in earthly things and instead ask how anything I say or do would help me feel closer to God.
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Point people to focus on Jesus

Mentoring and follow up is something I feel very strongly about. However, I find this passion tapering off in the course of the last 2 years. I find myself not being empowered to have that sort of influence over the lives of others though many people would just advise to lead a life for people to model after.

I think mentoring is more than that. I find that this authority must be given by God. My DGL also told me it's a 2 way thing; the mentee needs to have to desire to be mentored.

WHile I was thinking more about this issue, I was reminded once again that in whatever we do, we do not want to take the place of God. All we are required to do is to point people to Jesus, direct people to rely on Jesus, to trust and believe in Jesus. Sometimes, we need to be Jesus' physical body to those who are not able to experience Jesus yet, but eventually, there is a need to let go. It is good for us too, that we don't get bog down by matters that we humanly cannot handle.
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some thoughts

I was just reflecting on the events that has passed the past month and I thought about what a friend has shared with me about how after the breakup her ex-partner started to change the very things that she was displeased about when they were in a relationship. I was thinking then why anyone would change only after the breakup and not during the duration of the r/s to make their partner happier. It still baffles me. I mean, if you think that is who you are and that your partner should accept you for who you are, why do you want to change after the break up?

This thought led me to this status update my ex CGL posted on his facebook. It is about a danger in marriage where we look to our spouse for heart-needs instead of Jesus. Not merely idolatry, but a heavy burden your spouse wasn't meant to bear.

I agree that only Jesus can meet our deepest emotional needs. However, I do feel that there will a certain type of someone who will be emotional compatible for someone. It's very painful and tiring to be in a relationship where one's emotional needs is not met. I am such a sucker for emotional intimacy that it's so difficult for me to merely grit my teeth and make do. I think one of my weaknesses as a partner is that I am not able to draw boundaries so I end up rationalising, explaining (sometimes on behalf of my partners) and giving till I am exhausted.. then I give up.

I have come to the conclusion that whilst a couple should comprise of 2 different persons so their strengths and weaknesses could complement each other, the level of emotional involvement should be somewhat similar. Emotional compatibility is what I am talking about.

Anywayz, working on not expecting my partner to fulfil my heart needs is also the theme of this year for me. I pray though, that I will remember the lessons I had learnt through my experience to make wiser decisions in future.

I had the annual individual chat with my Principal this morning. Towards the end of our conversation, she asked me how my love life was. I hesitated for a moment and she asked if I have a love life. I said none at the moment. As if to reassure me, she told me that I am a lovely person and if she were a guy, she will marry me, and even if she were a woman (which she corrected herself later.. haha.. that was funnee), she would have an affair with me. I am flattered and I wanted to tell her that I feel rather secure in this area and that she need not comfort me just because I am single. But I kept quiet, smiled and nodded my head.

Went beyond my writing quota for today. Time to practise! :)
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Brrrrr..

It is so natural to fix my mind on stuff that's bothering me. I hate this thorn in the flesh kind of feeling. But after breathing and worshipping and breathing again, all I needed was a deliberate shift in mindset and fix my eyes on Jesus again. Then everything else seems so small in comparison.

Breathe.

God sees everything.
God is in control.
God loves me.

Spirit God, take over!
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God our healer

hmm.. what did I learn today?

Made a hospital visit today after a good lunch. Sometimes, I am thankful for afternoons like that when I can just take off. Reminds me a little of last year's part-time load. It also helps motivate me to give my best at work too knowing how much GOd has provided for me.

A wanted to pray for our colleague using the Evangecube. She's just starting IDT and I am glad it's been an exciting journey for her. We were given the privilege to pray for him at the end of the visit and he said he was very touched. He shared something that made us realise that it needn't take a sickness to bring us closer together.. which is true..

I realized also that while I listen to many people's grouses and problems, I do not really offer to pray for them on the spot unless the Lord kicks me hard to convict me to do that, but I also realized that people, regardless of their religons, appreciate being prayed for. So from tomorrow on, I will take a tiny step of faith to ask one person a day if there's anything I could pray for them.

Nuff said. Excited to use the 5 string bass this weekend.
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What motivates women to serve

Got asked this question and this was my response:

For some, they know it as a calling from God, for some, they need to hear that God desires for them to serve, for some, they are inspired to serve because they have good role models, for some, it's peer pressure, for some, they want to give bAck to the community what the community has given to them.

More often than not, women are motivated to keep serving when they do not feel excluded in the ministry that they are serving in; when they feel accepted and supported.

I was answering for what I believed to be majority of the women's responses based on our conversations.

What motivates me to serve is seeing God work through my inadequcies and insecurities. In serving, my faith in God grows as I see Him provide if only we avail ourselves. It is an awesome thought that He actually doesn't need us to get His work done to have His glory seen and purposes achieved, but yet He chose to use us, that He allows us to be His hAnds and feet, so that we will learn to rely on Him for His strength, so that we will grow closer to Him, so that He could have a relationship with us.

Amazing God we serve.
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The word for today; compassion

This lovely Friday morning, I pray for a deeper sense of compassion; a compassion not just for the friends I feel a lot for.. that comes effortlessly.. Compassion for my other friends whom I don't feel a connection with, compassion for most of my colleagues whom I do not have personal time for, compassion for students I do not teach, compassion for strangers who are well..
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Back for good

I am inspired to pray this prayer yet do not want to appear too spiritual on facebook. This is my prayer for today:

Lord, help me hear Your voice above all others in this loud and busy world. Amen.

This is the second time God spoke to my heart about listening to His still small voice. Maybe it's the theme of my life for this year.

Stop doing, start listening.
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