I struggled..

while waiting for the treasurer at church to settle the direct transfer of tithing from bank to church account, I felt a little guilty that I didn't tithe last month.

I was walking back after tuition and thought about the money in my bag from selling the iphone. It was so painful to think about giving up half of that into the offering bag for last month's tithe. I struggled and rationalised and fought inside of me. This is actually the first time I struggled with tithing. And I wondered why. I thought I had overcome this 5 years ago when I had the conviction to start tithing monthly.

I put on some worship music and talked to God and felt more at peace. God sees my heart. He knows I want to tithe. Maybe I am so fixed in my mindset of having to tithe that certain amount within a month of my pay date that my equilibrium felt shifted.

I foresee money is going to be an area that would potentially be a bigger matter compared to before. I have been praying on and off for a place where I am able to open it up for people to come by to be ministered. I look at some of the nice cars and nice houses I see and wondered why some people are so much richer than others. Today, I was tempted to stop by the TOTO outlet while walking past it. but I reject my feelings of envy in Jesus name. Praying to keep focused on the things that truly matters and focus on the things that are above and not the things that are on earth.
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