rants

just finished marking, and while waiting for my sister (who refused to give me a lift to bt timah on her way to town) to finish showering, I decided to pen down my thoughts for today.

I am feeling very lethargic and figure that it's prolly PMS. I did something which is out of character today. I do not teach Math, but for common marking, every teacher in P5 have to be down to help one another mark the papers for the level. Usually, after finishing our own lot, we would help those who have not finished. Today, A decided that she needed to go off and asked if I wanted to walk back with her. I would normally stay on to help till everyone had finished but my eyes were feeling tired, so I told the setter and my head of level(HOL) that I had finished my marking and had to go ( it was about 445p.m.). My HOL didn't seem too pleased, but i didn't really have the energy to care. I hope that my assertiveness wouldn't come only when I am tired. That is so the wrong way to handle things. I guess it is better for the assertive character when he/she is able to be in control when making a stand. For example, when initiating a breakup, it is more believable if someone is calm and collected than someone who's hysterical and screaming, " I want a breakup!!!".

I don't know where these thoughts are leading to but yeh. sometimes, I just think too much.

my ex CGL spoke to me last night.. till 1a.m. I came out to him, and we prolly would meet up to talk more during the June hols. The tagged photos of the Sayoni Camp outed me to another ex CG member and she felt it was an area of concern because somehow, she knew about Sayoni(though she's married and straight as an arrow). I am disturbed when she didn't come to me first. Sigh. So sad.

I always try to remind myself to first go to the person I have issues with/ have something to clarify before turning to others. Usually, I would share with my partner first, not so to gossip, but because I needed support and advice. I try to follow what the bible says..

Matthew 18:15-17
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

I have not taken 1 or 2 along though. Normally, if someone is not receptive, I just lift the situation up to God. SO many lessons to learn. What would I be missing out if I were not a child of God.. hmm...
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