I had bubble tea today!

And it's yummy!

Anywayz, while driving to FCC, one hand on my steering wheel and the other holding the Bubble Tea cup, I thought about the guy selling books at the corner of church for his Dad, who is SKS's owner.. I bought my 5th bible for the year from him. Someone seems to need a bible every other month! Anywayz, he attended FCC once but I never saw him again. The last time I saw him was when I was with the sweetheart and I introduced her as my partner. He said he was waiting for his friend too.

I was thinking then, maybe, just maybe, that maybe why some gay men don't get into relationships, preferring flings instead might be due to the reconciliation issue. Getting into a gay relationship would seem like a worse sin to them than just doing it once and repenting? So hazardous to think that way.

So.. had half of my thith on hand after Covenant Service and was contemplating using part of it to buy the bible before giving the rest in FCC. I was bargaining with God: Afterall, it's also part of giving to you right?

Why did I think that way? It was becuase I felt the pinch spending MY share of the money on buying the bible. I felt rebuked on the spot and yeh.. it's not my money. It's God's money. I need wisdom and discernment to know the difference between being legalistic and justififying, negotiating based on my ways and wants.

Honestly, doing follow up for N and M helps me in my own personal journey with God. For N, I am amazed at her simplicity; her simplicity in the way she views life and the way she lives her life. She earns a fifth of what I earn, yet she's not complaining. She's contented with her lot. I want to learn to simplify my life like her, and be contented with my lot. With M, the conversations we have, the sharing we do makes me realise how important to train to live life with an alert and self-controlled spirit, that what I would share and say would be credible because I had gone before her in that area of life.
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