Saturday, August 2, 2008

4th MC this year

I finally caved in, to all my tireness, my weariness in trying to keep myself busy so I would not think too much. I took medical leave on Wednesday giving myself the reason that I had menstrual cramps, which didn't come at full force till the next day. I slept off my tireness, I slept till I couldn't sleep anymore. Then I marked.

Just when I thought I was feeling better, I received the shock of my life later that night. I just feel so sad that I have to feel fear and distress towards someone I used to share my life with.

The one who initates the break normally gets the negative labels. I am just comforted that God sees everything, and He sees my heart, and He knows exactly what had been going on and how I have never deceived anyone during this whole journey, I had been honest with how I feel and made it known. I just need God, at this point in time, to clear up my rubbish from within me. All the accompanying fear, guilt, anger that has grown inside of me all these while. All unnecessary but the consequences from what had happened. He will make all things right in His time. I have to learn to let go and surrender my heart to Him.

Be strong and courageous. Be strong and courageous. Be strong and courageous.
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