real belated post

I didn't regret leaving from bowling after 1 game though I was reluctant to. The small group gathering was unexpectedly good. A friend's gay friend J is in Singapore for a holiday. He's 38, and shared some gems which were very insightful. Happily being in a monogamous relationship with his partner for 8 years made his sharing more credible.

Thought they had not thought they were each other's type, he knew within the first week that he could be with him for a long while.

He shared that what is very important is that a couple must know the essential fundamentals that they personally need in a relationship, i.e the non-negotiables. For him, it's the way finances are handled and the type of environment he wants to retire in. It sounds like very trivial issues but he says these are really important.

He was rather pragmatic about things. One thing that he said that resonated with me was what he said that people shouldn't hold on to a relationship just because they don't want to be alone. He even said that if there comes one day when his partner decides that he doesn't love him anymore, he would rather the partner go than to stay on.

we spoke about coming out, and his journey in coming out to his parents, very conservative christian parents who are elders in the church they had been worshipping at since he was young.

On another note, one of the gals was sharing about how her sister was most concerned about was her giving up God. She told her sister it's no fight between God and being in a gay relationship. i hope her gf didn't feel anything about that.

I guess that's one reason why I would really appreciate about a gf who believes in the same kind of God I believe in.. that if one day, God tells us both really clearly to let go of each other and follow Him, that regardless how much we love each other and find it very hard to let go, we would listen and follow because we both know that what is on earth is temporal but what is in heaven is eternal, that it matters to both of us to be able to see each other in eternity.

There. This was edited from about 2 months ago :P.

I kinda miss China. This is crazy.
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