being centred

So I couldn't remember what I was thinking of but my memory was triggered back to the time when I had met with the second person on Fridae.

I remembered we had a good time sharing over coffee. After coffee, she asked me how I found our meeting, which I found odd because it was an unusual question to ask immediately after we met. I told her I felt comfortable talking with her. I guess we started a friendship then. Our meetups were irregular and random but we did manage to share quite a bit with each other. After all, when we have just come out to ourselves and the world, we do have a lot to process with people we can be out to..

However, we stopped keeping in touch over time because she realized that I was a common friend of this gal, who, according to her, had "stolen" her ex-gf from her. Even though the relationship had ended 2-3 years before, she still felt so much anger that she still teared when she shared about it. Sadly, at that time, I was struggling with my second relationship and had no capacity to follow up with her. At that time, I found her anger to be unnecessary since the relationship ended 2-3 years before (of course I didn't tell her that). I was insensitive to not acknowledge her emotions and follow through with her then.

In the past month, there were twice I was late for my appointment (massage appt and something else I can't remember) because of traffic jams. I was driving and very frustrated with the traffic. Though I had a lovely companion seated beside me, chatting with me, my entire being was consumed by the frustration of being late that I gave little attention to the person I was with.

That reminded me of some people I know, who are at the moment, struggling with different aspects of their lives. It could be their sexuality they are struggling with, their conflict of their beliefs and their sexuality, their perpetual obsession with a new crush, baggage they struggled with their past loves, the desire to get attached, the search for a fulfilled life through earthly means... things that consumed our capacity to give to others.

It is then I was reminded on how it is important to feel in control of our situations and be able to let God deal with our issues, or even better, to centre ourselves on the grace of God, having faith that He has the best for us, that we do not need to worry, that all we need to do is to sit at his feet, and rest in Him. And that rest will empower us with the wisdom, strength and discernment to make decisions that will lead to His glory shown and His purposes fulfilled.
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