over the 5 hours I spent at the salon last week, the lady boss of the salon, together with one of her staff, was having an interesting exchange about his bad habit of taking medical leave on Saturdays (the busiest day for hairdressers). She was chiding him, he defended himself, she insisted that she was right about him being lazy and he continued to defend himself.. I marvel at how she could tell him off directly but yet able to keep laughing while she was doing that.
It's something I want to work towards? I am conflict avoidant, it helps that I generally have a high tolerance level to almost everything. The way I deal with conflicts is this: If things can be overlooked, then let it pass. If it is important enough, I will be as kind with my words as possible so I don't offend or hurt the other person. After all, the idea is to get the point across right? Usually, it takes a lot to get me that upset and irritated to the level that I tell the person exactly how I feel in the raw form. It is not good because I usually get emotional at that point. Moreover, I need to feel detached in order to tell the person honestly how I feel. And feeling detached is not a good thing.
I like to be that sort of person to be able to bring the point across directly to a person and yet not make them feel like they are despised. Some people have done it to me before. It cuts, it hurts but the point gets across and I become a better person after that. I always remember a kind sincere smile, jokes and laughter after the conversation that still makes me feel like accepted and special. Maybe even more special because I am made to improve yet I am still accepted and loved as I am.
Yep. Maybe I just need to lighten up a lil.
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Yeah, words has to be chosen with care when we speak to them but most of the times especially when we are in anger, we tend to forget and speak the words that we know would affect them greatly.
Besides getting the point across, I think they have to know the good intentions we have and how much we care concern of them when we speak to them even in spiteful words. And, most important, we should never allow ourselves to think less of them or express that they’d lost any “value” in our eyes.
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