Friday, November 30, 2012
I have migrated
Come and visit me at christianlesbianblogger.blogspot.com :) Thank you for all your support so far. :)
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Optimism Bias
This term- I learnt for the first time in my course. Most humans are positive that the worse case scenario won't happen to them no matter how pessimistic they are. That is the reason why people engage in dangerous activities and pick up habits that could be life-threatening; they think they will not be the unfortunate one who will die, who will get cancer, etc.
In helping people overcome addictions or in helping them lead a fulfilled life/less reckless life, counselors have to sometimes remove this optimism bias from people to let them know that "hey, this could possibly happen to you."
In the newspapers today, I came across two articles that displayed the dangers of optimism bias. One of them is this guy in the States who refused to listen to instructions to be evacuated from an area which would be affected by Hurricane Sandy. Though he remained safe, it was really thoughtless of him not to take the advice to move, both for the sale of the rescue team, his family members and himself. Why did he not move? He was sure that he would not be affected by Hurricane Sandy. Then another newspaper article was about this stoopid mum who put her two year old son on the railings of the wild dogs enclosure thinking that he wouldn't fall over. Within seconds, he did, and was mauled to death by 11 wild dogs. Sigh.
How to draw the line between being wise and being too safe? No time to think too much yet. Next post perhaps.
.
In helping people overcome addictions or in helping them lead a fulfilled life/less reckless life, counselors have to sometimes remove this optimism bias from people to let them know that "hey, this could possibly happen to you."
In the newspapers today, I came across two articles that displayed the dangers of optimism bias. One of them is this guy in the States who refused to listen to instructions to be evacuated from an area which would be affected by Hurricane Sandy. Though he remained safe, it was really thoughtless of him not to take the advice to move, both for the sale of the rescue team, his family members and himself. Why did he not move? He was sure that he would not be affected by Hurricane Sandy. Then another newspaper article was about this stoopid mum who put her two year old son on the railings of the wild dogs enclosure thinking that he wouldn't fall over. Within seconds, he did, and was mauled to death by 11 wild dogs. Sigh.
How to draw the line between being wise and being too safe? No time to think too much yet. Next post perhaps.
.
one last post before I start on my assignment
One comment that TCT made after our presentation was this: " What a nice and kind teacher that is. " (talking about me because I was acting as a role of a teacher) then she went on and said that the teacher could actually draw on what the student was sharing and make it a turn around point so that intervention could be more effective.
It's true, and I have always recognised that, whilst I can be the person whom people feel comfortable opening up with, feel safe with, I often find that I lack the follow through which could help them better solve their problems. I used to atttribute that to the reason why I am not a counselor in profession.
It's also true, that whilst compassion is important in getting people to open up and share their struggles and hearts, whilst sometimes, people just really want to be heard, but we can also, dependent on the situation, play a pivotal role in empowering them to change, simply by drawing on what they share, on their helplessness about a situation and pointing them to the right direction. Easier said than done. Definitely needs lots of experience, skill, and god-given wisdom. Dear God, please help me in this area. Amen!!!!
That's why she's crushable material (to me). hahaha. Time to start on my assignment!
.
It's true, and I have always recognised that, whilst I can be the person whom people feel comfortable opening up with, feel safe with, I often find that I lack the follow through which could help them better solve their problems. I used to atttribute that to the reason why I am not a counselor in profession.
It's also true, that whilst compassion is important in getting people to open up and share their struggles and hearts, whilst sometimes, people just really want to be heard, but we can also, dependent on the situation, play a pivotal role in empowering them to change, simply by drawing on what they share, on their helplessness about a situation and pointing them to the right direction. Easier said than done. Definitely needs lots of experience, skill, and god-given wisdom. Dear God, please help me in this area. Amen!!!!
That's why she's crushable material (to me). hahaha. Time to start on my assignment!
.
a revision of my tennis post
I wrote this 2 years ago:
Hit me a good ball,
I will return nicely.
Hit me a bad ball
the ball misses my sweet spot
if only the ball hits the sweet spot
then we can rally.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two years later, I got something to add:
Hit me a good ball,
I will return nicely.
Hit me a bad ball
the ball misses my sweet spot
if only the ball hits the sweet spot
then we can rally.
But I can move
so your ball hits my sweet spot
And we can still rally.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hahaha.. I really got to start doing my assignment.
.
Hit me a good ball,
I will return nicely.
Hit me a bad ball
the ball misses my sweet spot
if only the ball hits the sweet spot
then we can rally.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two years later, I got something to add:
Hit me a good ball,
I will return nicely.
Hit me a bad ball
the ball misses my sweet spot
if only the ball hits the sweet spot
then we can rally.
But I can move
so your ball hits my sweet spot
And we can still rally.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hahaha.. I really got to start doing my assignment.
.
my lecturer still fascinates me
she's totally crushable material according to me (and me only). That's why my taste is always doubted. Lol. Not many people like the things I like and the people I like.
Anywayz, this was after she totally polished up our 30% presentation last night. It made me feel like we won't get the A we wanted, but what she shared was totally relevant and totally displayed the amount of depth and wisdom that she have in her.
Why am I re- fascinated with her? I know she's really smart, but I know she's really maladjusted in some way too, perhaps still on the journey to that stage of self-actualization. She's not just intellectually intelligent, her passion in pursuing unconditional love and happiness in life is also very admirable. This mix of intelligence and vulnerability fascinates me; She thinks aloud in class, randomly saying things that actually need not be said, and fellow classmates would look at one another thinking: "What a weird person she is, why on earth is she saying what she is saying?" I am in awe of that mix of contradiction that I see in her. She's totally smart, authentic (maybe too authentic) and extremely humble.
At the end of the day, while walking to the car with my classmate, in silence, still thinking about what went on in class, she, a fellow believer, asked me, " Isn't it amazing how someone with a different faith can see things with such similar perspectives as us? I know. (By now, we have confirmed that she's Baha). I told her that God has made everyone in His image, and that He has made us to have a conscience, his heart and his character. Moreover, the Bahai faith came after Christianity, Islam, Buddhism and other main religons of Singapore. They could take the best of everything and mash it up to make it Bahai. Whatever it is, it's really the fruit that's produced that really gives value to the faith. Such a good reminder for me too: how much of the fruit of the Spirit do I possess? And how much fruit am I bearing?
And I took medical leave today. I didn't know how exhausted I was till I lay in bed last night. It was really impossible to wake at 6a.m. this morning. Time to see the doc. And start on the 60% assignment.
.
Anywayz, this was after she totally polished up our 30% presentation last night. It made me feel like we won't get the A we wanted, but what she shared was totally relevant and totally displayed the amount of depth and wisdom that she have in her.
Why am I re- fascinated with her? I know she's really smart, but I know she's really maladjusted in some way too, perhaps still on the journey to that stage of self-actualization. She's not just intellectually intelligent, her passion in pursuing unconditional love and happiness in life is also very admirable. This mix of intelligence and vulnerability fascinates me; She thinks aloud in class, randomly saying things that actually need not be said, and fellow classmates would look at one another thinking: "What a weird person she is, why on earth is she saying what she is saying?" I am in awe of that mix of contradiction that I see in her. She's totally smart, authentic (maybe too authentic) and extremely humble.
At the end of the day, while walking to the car with my classmate, in silence, still thinking about what went on in class, she, a fellow believer, asked me, " Isn't it amazing how someone with a different faith can see things with such similar perspectives as us? I know. (By now, we have confirmed that she's Baha). I told her that God has made everyone in His image, and that He has made us to have a conscience, his heart and his character. Moreover, the Bahai faith came after Christianity, Islam, Buddhism and other main religons of Singapore. They could take the best of everything and mash it up to make it Bahai. Whatever it is, it's really the fruit that's produced that really gives value to the faith. Such a good reminder for me too: how much of the fruit of the Spirit do I possess? And how much fruit am I bearing?
And I took medical leave today. I didn't know how exhausted I was till I lay in bed last night. It was really impossible to wake at 6a.m. this morning. Time to see the doc. And start on the 60% assignment.
.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
We are not a work in progress, but a work in faithfulness
the gospel, the good news - I have always seen it as a noun, something to be shared at a certain point in time to someone.
Peter Gomes said this:
"We are not a work in progrss but a work in faithfulness, and what we strive for and seek in Christ, that peace and security of the full and abundant life, sustains us even as we search for it. That is why they call it the gospel, the good news, and that is why and how it works."
the gospel, the good news, once shared with us, brings us through life. That is the good news, not just a news to tell us about our salvation, but one that sustains us, even when we go through life's challenges.
Perhaps our salvation is also a journey. We never know till we meet Jesus face to face, right?
.
Peter Gomes said this:
"We are not a work in progrss but a work in faithfulness, and what we strive for and seek in Christ, that peace and security of the full and abundant life, sustains us even as we search for it. That is why they call it the gospel, the good news, and that is why and how it works."
the gospel, the good news, once shared with us, brings us through life. That is the good news, not just a news to tell us about our salvation, but one that sustains us, even when we go through life's challenges.
Perhaps our salvation is also a journey. We never know till we meet Jesus face to face, right?
.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
one sobering fact and one good news
after meeting up with my financial advisor, a friend after 3 years of not seeing her, I learnt that I should probably be watching my finances more tightly. If not for the fact that the mortgage is paid for via CPF and that there is rental money coming in from the new place, I would have been in the red. Even though my contribution to my parents and the household has increased by more than threefold, there are certain ways to reduce my spending.
My short term plan for the next 6 months is this:
No weekend travels.
No purchase of unnecessary stuff (electronic gadgets, clothes, bags, etc).
No buying of alcohol (except if it's Absolut collectible)
No eating at cafes/restaurants more than three meals a week.
The good news is, my CPF OA investment is enough to pay my mortage for the next 5 years even if I do not work. I thought the purchase of the new place almost wiped my CPF OA dry. Hidden money is good sometimes.
.
My short term plan for the next 6 months is this:
No weekend travels.
No purchase of unnecessary stuff (electronic gadgets, clothes, bags, etc).
No buying of alcohol (except if it's Absolut collectible)
No eating at cafes/restaurants more than three meals a week.
The good news is, my CPF OA investment is enough to pay my mortage for the next 5 years even if I do not work. I thought the purchase of the new place almost wiped my CPF OA dry. Hidden money is good sometimes.
.
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